"Taekwoon?" 

"Where did you get that?" N asked
Leo took time to replied "Well, someone was too careless to leave his phone behind" 
Leo took a step closer to N "Now tell me Hakyeon why do you have this in your pocket?" he added
N was so speechless, he froze in his feet
"And don't tell me it's not yours because it's from your coat Hakyeon, It's inside your damn coat!" Leo's voice raised a bit
N swallowed a big lumped in his throat. "I can explain Taekwoon, I-"
"Sure you have, You better have an explaination Hakyeon and don't give me excuses" Leo said
N lips parted but he couldn't say a word 
"Please hakyeon, Could you tell me the truth this time not some stupid telling us your ok" Leo said
"Taekwoon, Now's not the right time, We'll talk about this later, Let's just go back , It's already late and -" N walked through Leo when the younger one grabbed his arm
"There's no later for this Hakyeon, We'll talk about this here and now" Leo said in small voice
"Taekwoon it's just that-" N said
"The kids are worried sick about you, They've been anxious of you smoking" Leo said, his voice went lower
"The k-kids? T-They know about this?" N asked
"We all saw it together, It was hongbin who noticed it first" Leo said and N just stared at him "You know how hongbin felt? He felt betrayed, he has known you for so long but he didn't have a slighest idea that you smoke" Leo's voice started to cracked up, He leaned his head on the leader's shoulder "And hyuk... hyuk's been crying thinking that you are blaming yourself because of what happened" Leo said
"Taekwoon?" 
"We are all worried about you Hakyeon, We all do" Leo said "So please!!"
N held the younger's shoulder "Fine!" as he stared at Leo's eyes "I'll tell you" 
"They've been sending me hate messages, they all want me to die, they are all blaming me for what happened and I just couldn't think of anything to stop myself from going insane so I tried.. I tried smoking, It was the only thing I thought was right, I am broken Taekwoon, and I just can't go around telling everyone I'm sad. I am a leader, everyone expects me to be strong and sometimes I just have to take a break from everything, I don't even know who our fans are" N said 
"Then don't" Leo said "Don't act like you are strong whenever you are with us Hakyeon, We all know that sometimes things are just too much for you" he added
"Taekwoon how?" N asked
"We all hear you cry every night, you always lock your door, you have puffy eyes in the morning, you are slowly putting distance between you and us, and all we wanted was for to tell us that you are tired of everything" Leo said
"I didn't want to bother all of you, I always thought this is too childish" N said as he looked down
"Who cares if it's childish we are team, we always have you back, all you have to do is open up to us"
"I tried, I'm trying but I don't how where to start" N said
"Well then start with this, stop smoking, then tell us whenever you can't take it anymore, you know how much we trust you when we can't take things anymore" Leo said
"But?"
"Please Hakyeon"