unbeta'ed 

--

ONE SHOT #6
The Girl You Never Loved

“What do you wish for us?” I asked you at 2 in the afternoon, your head on my lap as I play strands of your hair, humming Killing Me Softly awhile ago. Your eyes went straight on mine, I noticed how a sudden light flinched.

“Hmm.. I don't know.”

“Why? Don't you want something to happen to us? Something good, Jen..”

There was silence for a few minutes before you sat up and buried your face on the crook of my neck. I felt your smile. “Let's just let be what should be, love.”

You were smiling. I smiled, too. And just let it be.

-

“Are you drunk?” I knew you were but I still asked. First, it was a Saturday night. Second, you texted me at 11 saying weird things. Third, you called and the only things I heard from you were random noises. I couldn't even understand what were you saying!

“I'm n-- jsksmzmzkksks.. Lisa zjskskslms. Hnnsjsjs.”

“Where are you?”

“In your heart! Hahahaha-- sjskmzmz.”

“Crazy,” I mumbled before ending the call and getting my car keys.

It was Saturday. July 14, 2018. And I knew, I knew you drank somewhere in one of your favorite bar. Because again, it was July 14.

And it was supposed to be your five-year anniversary with your ex-girlfriend. If you didn't break up.

-

“Sorry. Was I too much last night?” you asked in the middle of our breakfast. We were in your condo unit, I had to stay because you were too drunk after I found you at The Faz' and you were saying I cannot even remember because I didn't understand. But I remembered and understood two things still; you mentioned her name and mistaken me for being her. But it was okay. You also did it last year. But it was really okay. It was you, anyway.

I didn't cook for our breakfast because I knew you – with a hangover – wouldn't like to have burnt eggs at the morning. I had your favorite set of breakfast delivered, instead. “It's okay, love.” It was truly okay.

“Did I hurt you?”

“Of course not!” Physically, no. Emotionally? Nevermind.

“Sure?”

I nodded. “How's the food?” I stopped eating and crossed my fingers as I wait for your answer.

“It's soooo good! Thanks for this, really. The loud band inside my head cannot be heard right now.” I chuckled a bit and watched you as you ate with full of gusto. You always look so beautiful whatever you do. Is it your job, Jennie?

Ugh, I knew I can't ask that. “Anything for my girl.”

You smiled and continued eating.

-

“Are you free tonight, love?” Please say yes. Please say--

“I'm so sorry, Lisa. We have a family dinner tonight. I'll make it up tomorrow. I'll reserve a dinner for us at your favorite hotel, will that be alright?” I tightly closed my eyes and unconsciously clenched my fist.

“It's alright. Have fun with the family!” End call.

It has been two weeks yet we still haven't see each other. We haven't been going to dates lately. I miss you and your scent. What's going on Jennie? Are you really in a family dinner?

Because I saw and greeted your Mom and sister shopping in the mall just a few minutes ago before I decided to go home. I even left them with a kiss on the cheek. It was just the two of them. No trace of you or any of your family member.

I hope you're not lying.

-

“Wait for me, I'll go there and drive for us.”

Those were the words you said two hours ago. I sat on my couch for fifty minutes waiting for the intercom to buzz. I walked back and forth for God knows how many times as I typed and sent you twenty five messages, and called you fifteen times. I even called your family but no one knew where you happened to be-- you've always been distant to them, anyway.

I drove off to the three places where you usually go alone. To The Faz where you get drunk, to your favorite riverside in the city where you go when you want peace, to the old coffeeshop you always go to when you're stressed. Still, no trace of you nor a shadow. Where are you?

Then, my phone vibrated inside my pocket. And the next thing I knew was droplet of tears were already covering the screen of my phone.

'Lisa, I'm in the hospital right now. Jisoo collapsed.'

Since when did she come back?

-

I knew that this time will come.

“So.. you'll stay with her?” . I knew the answer yet I still asked. I knew I'll get hurt yet I still asked. I knew I didn't want to hear your answer yet.. I still asked. Because I still want to know from you.

“It's.. it's not that, Lisa. Y-you know that.. we're..”

“Stop crying.” I fought the urge to wipe your tears. I don't have the right to.

“I..” you took a tissue paper on your pocket and wiped your face. Your eyes were already puffy, you didn't even notice you were already crying so hard. Was it too much for you? To see Jisoo laying on a hospital bed, still unconscious?

Because the last time I saw you in pain like this, was two years ago. When she left you.. at July 14, 2016. Exactly on your third anniversary.

“Let's just talk later,” I said when a Doctor approached us.

-

We were inside the private hospital room. The three of us. With Jennie, sleeping. And with Jisoo, sleeping, too. She hasn't wake up yet. The Doctor said awhile ago that she will wake up maybe in an hour or more. Jennie confessed that she was with Jisoo after she texted me. She confronted her-- the thing a person does after being left behind without any explanation and seeing that person again. Then she said before Jisoo could left, she suddenly collapsed on the floor, making her panic and leave her phone.

The Doctor also said that it was from too much exhaustion. I once became a friend of Jisoo, I knew that she writes. Maybe she still does until now, and maybe that was one of the reasons why she suddenly fainted. She also has a weak heart. I'm honestly worried for her. I had to set aside my feelings and understand the situation.

My eyes fell to Jisoo's eyelid-- . She opened her eyes!

I rushed to Jennie's side and woke her up. “Hmmm..” she moaned.

“Jen! Wake up! Jisoo opened her eyes!” It worked. Just like Flash, she stood up and the next thing I knew, the Doctor and the nurse were already inside the room.

-

Seven in the morning. I'm wearing an oversized plain T-shirt, yellow cotton shorts and my cute minion slip-ons. My hair is tied up in a messy bun and I kinda look like a mess. I put the coffee on top of the dining table and grabbed the hardbound novel I just bought last night. It was raining so hard when I drove off to the nearest bookstore just to get this book. I also finished it last night.

I traced the engraved title of the book and read it aloud..

“All The Beautiful Things..

... written by Kim Jisoo.”

I remembered the night when she chose to leave. She left me with sorry's and I was left with why's. Why do you have to run away and leave everything as if it will be fixed? Nothing gets fixed after leaving it with nothing, Jennie. Your problems won't be solved if you're not gonna solve it.

But it hurts me the most to know that you left.. loving her still.

You couldn't get it to your head that she wrote about you. About yours and hers. About your story. It wouldn't just sink in that's why you chose to run.

Because you know for sure that you will still love her over and over again even if how many times she broke your heart, and is breaking it still. She was-- is your greatest love. The girl you always loved.

And how about me, you ask?

I'm the girl you never loved.

--