Chapter Eight: Where My Heart Flutters

I flipped the dial on my locker, frowning when I passed the number on accident. I tried it again only to do the same thing. I slammed my fist against it frustrated, trying one final time. This time the contraption finally decided to open.

I shoved all but one of my books in there. I would need my language book for some English homework due tomorrow. After pilfering for my English notebook, I slammed it closed only to reveal Jungook’s face.

I flinched, attempting to look anywhere but at him. He watched me from beneath his fringe, thumbs shoved casually in his pockets as he leaned against the wall. I had worried the next time I interacted with him I would do something pathetic, like cry or cause a scene in the middle of the hallway.

I only felt defeat.

I suppose that was pitiful in itself. We had never even really dated for me to feel this way. I had somehow thrown all my feelings at him without even going on a single date. We kissed and he felt me up and somehow I thought that meant we were together. I didn’t know if that made me incredibly naïve, or if Jungkook was just that big of a jerk.

“What’s up?” He reclined his head in greeting and I managed not to roll my eyes at him as I passed.

“Nothing,” I answered in a clip tone, a universal sign of dismissal and disinterest.

Apparently Jungkook didn’t catch on because he continued, “Oh, cool. Want to hang out tonight?”

I gritted my teeth, letting out a hiss of breath. “Definitely not.”

We all knew what ‘hanging out’ entailed to Jungkook. I shoved the doors open, heading towards Nana’s car. I thought that would stop him, but he still continued to follow me.

“Why not?” he asked, evidently clueless. He brushed a hand through his hair, eyes wide.

I turned around swiftly, finally losing my temper. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that you have a girlfriend?” I said sarcasm apparent.

His brows furrowed into rivulets. “But I don’t have a girlfriend.”

I cocked my hip, tapping my foot. “What do you call Yeri then?”

His nose scrunched, eyes tilted towards the sky. “A friend?”

I snorted, turning back around. By now, Nana had noticed me and was watching me with worry, biting down on her lip as Jungkook trailed after me. “Oh, so are all the girls you kiss your ‘friends’?”

“Sometimes. I don’t know. Why are you mad at me?”

I whipped back around, hair flaring dramatically with the sudden movement as I marched up to him and poked him in the chest. “Because not only did you make out with me in your room, the next day you were kissing another girl!” I growled, careful to keep my tone low. The last thing I needed was for rumors to start. “You cheated, and you used me to do it.”

“Ara, I don’t know where you got your information, but I’m not dating anyone.”

“What do you call Yeri then? Literally the next day you were making out with her.” I tapped my foot impatiently, wondering what he would come up with this time.

“Yeri is a friend! How many more times do I have to say it!”

“Why did you kiss her then, huh? Why are you always flirting with her?”

“Because why not?” He frowned, rubbing his forehead. “And why are you so upset?”

I stared at him, everything finally clicking in my head. When I told Yeri about Jungkook kissing me it wasn’t that she didn’t believe it. She just didn’t care. Jungkook and Yeri weren’t dating. They must be friends with benefits or something like that. “Because,” I said finally, my tone losing the bite and leaving only tiredness in its wake. “You used me. You kissed me and made me think that you liked me, but you didn’t. You probably did that because I was the only girl around too.”

By the way he avoided my eyes I could tell what I assumed was true. I should have never said it, because that confirmation made everything hurt even more. I really was stupid for believing someone like Jungkook liked me. 

“Just leave me alone, Jungkook,” I said weary.

His eyes searched out mine. “But why?”

I didn’t know how to be any clearer without losing whatever pride I had left so I remained silent. Staring at the gravel, watching colorful shoes dot my vision as people passed by.

“Wait, did you think making out meant we were dating?” he pressed. “But… we never agreed to that. You never said anything.”

I glared at him. “I don’t know what book you follow, but you don’t kiss more than one person like that at a time.”

“But you didn’t say anything!”

I gave up, turning back around and managing to get to Nana’s car. As soon as I opened the passenger door Jungkook slammed it closed, boxing me in against him yet giving me room to breathe. He was biting his lip, brows drawn in a line of concentration.

“Okay, I get it. You’re one of those girls who are shy and doesn’t date much.” My cheeks burned with embarrassment, but he didn’t seem to notice. “So now I know. No kissing Ara Hwan unless you want to date her.” He pulled away, giving me enough room to get in the car if I truly wanted to. “So what if we become official?”

My back straightened so fast a resounding crack was heard through the air. I was too busy gaping at him to notice. “What do you mean?” I asked finally.

He kicked at a stray pebble, hands in his pockets. “I mean date. You be my girlfriend and I be your boyfriend. That sort of thing.”

Thoughts went racing through my head. I couldn’t understand him. He goes days without talking to me, and then suddenly he wants me to be his girlfriend. This had to be some kind of joke.

“Okay,” he said, trailing off. “How about this? You and me. Tonight at six-thirty. Sal’s Diner. I’ll be there waiting for you. It’s your decision whether to show.”

He gave me a farce of a smile, nodding his head before heading over to his friends. I watched them a moment longer, trying to notice any signs that this was a joke. None of his friends even looked my way, nor were they smirking or anything else like that. I opened the door in shock, turning to Nana.

“Jungkook just asked me out.”

I should have expected her response.

“Ara, we’ve been through this already, sweetheart. Remember when you decided you’re better off without him?”

“Yeah, but he actually asked me out.” That had to count for something. Besides, she knew that I had liked him since I first noticed him in the beginning of the year.

Her lips tightened, shaking her head and starting the car. “Ara, you’re so blinded by him and I hate it. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

I shrugged, watching the scenery pass. “If he does hurt me all I can blame is myself.”

“That’s what makes me worry.”

My chest felt heavy at her words, and for some reason it made me feel shame. “I’ll be careful this time,” I whispered.

“I really hope you are.”

She parked her car in grandpa’s drive way. I shouldered my backpack, giving her a tentative