"If I ever forget all the things I need, all the smiles in the world I love, just show me all of you. With each of your hand on each side of my face, make me look into your eyes. Make me see the world through your eyes. I swear I will remember then. I swear."

- Lukas W.

There is a cafe downtown that you always go to every single day for a month now. You aren’t fond of places like this, not fond of going out unless it’s for work or grocery shopping. You’re a homebody after all. Home is a comfort zone; your room is your safe space. But it’s not like you have much of a choice, anyway.

You’re lucky the cafe offers good food and drinks. It doesn’t hurt that the place has a relaxing ambiance and kind service staff as well.

Wendy, one of the waitresses in the cafe, opens the door for you with a smile. “Good evening, ma’am. Here again, I see.” she comments.

“I come here every day and yet you won’t stop calling me ma’am.” You already told her before to call you by your name instead or at least unnie.

“It’s a workplace and you’re a customer, ma’am.”

“Gosh, you’re so formal.” You let out a sigh. “Anyway, have you seen my sister?”

“Oh, I haven’t seen her come in here yet.”

You check your watch. It’s almost 7:00PM. She’s usually here before 6:30.

A slight worry washes over your face and Wendy noticed this so she says, “I’m sure she’s on her way. She probably just got stuck in traffic or something.”

Last time she didn’t show up, it’s something.

“She walks on the way here,” you reason.

“Maybe she -”

“Unnie!” You and Wendy turn around at the bubbly sound of a petite girl with light brown hair entering the cafe. It’s your younger sister carrying a grocery bag. You sigh in relief.

“I had to stop by a grocery because there are fabric softeners on sale! And it’s my favorite ones!” She says cheerfully, too cheerful for someone who’s holding a grocery bag containing three purple fabric softeners. You can’t blame her though. You two are much alike and you’d probably be just as excited as her if you aren’t worried about her whereabouts first.

Wendy laughs before returning to her post and opening the door for the incoming customers.

“You should have texted me, Joohyun.” You tell her softly. “I thought something happened to you.”

“I’m fine though,” Joohyun says. She walks to her favorite seat and you follow her. “Stop worrying about me, unnie.”

“How can I not be?”

It’s her turn to sigh. “Honestly, unnie, I’m not a child.”

You know that. Although she may be a little small for someone her age, Joohyun is not a child. But she’s human and god, she’s fragile. You’re always reminded of that fact every time you see the permanent vertical scar on her face, just a little above her left eyebrow. Or the surgical suture marks on her right forearm.

You almost lost your sister once. So how can you not be worried?

It pisses you off. It drives you mad. You can’t even get angry with her.

“I’ll order,” you just say instead. “The usual?”

Joohyun pouts, thinking. “I want to have something else today.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Huh, you trying something new?”

“I had a dream about eating Coffee and Cream cake.”

“You hate coffee though.”

“And yet we’re in a coffee shop.” She laughs. “I’ll have Coffee and Cream cake, unnie. And water.”

“If you say so,” you shrug.

You are met by a familiar face when you approached the counter. No one is ordering yet so she’s leaning against the wall and too occupied mumbling something to herself to see you approaching. A smile creeps on your face.

“Hi, Seulgi.” you greet the woman behind the counter.

Seulgi looks at you. She smiles back. “Taeyeon-unnie, nice to see you again of course.”

“I see your wardrobe hasn’t expanded,” you remark. The girl seems like she has an entire closet of flannel shirts and skirts because that’s all she ever wears since you have known her.

Seulgi just shrugs. “You can never have too many flannels.” She chuckles. “What can I get you today? The usual?”

“The usual for me. Joohyun wants something else.”

“Oh?”

“Coffee and Cream cake,” you tell Seulgi.  “She said that she had a dream about eating one so I guess it’s what she’s craving now. Does that mean something to you, Seulgi?”

Seulgi gulps for air. Eyes suddenly glistening with tears she’s trying hard to hold back. She blinks a few times before punching in your order.

Perhaps you shouldn’t have asked.

“It’s what I ordered for myself during our first date,” Seulgi answers then hands out your receipt. “She asked for a bite but then she ate the entire slice.” She chuckles at the memory. “Unnie, does she … does she remember anything? About me and her … uh, us?”

“I haven’t asked her today yet.”

“Oh … okay.”

It breaks your heart seeing Seulgi so hopeful yet so hopeless every day, pining over your sister who doesn’t even have the slightest bit of memory of her girlfriend of five years.

“I will tell you when she remembers, okay?”

Seulgi nods. “How is she? Is she doing okay?”

“She has therapy sessions for the next few months. Her physical wounds are all healed. She still gets headaches from time to time.”

Seulgi’s gaze travels on Joohyun sitting on the corner. She’s already looking at her with furrowed brows. Seulgi forces a laugh. “Unnie, I think you need to get back to her. She’s already shooting lasers on my skull.” You chuckle. “I’ll prepare your order.”

When you get back to your seat, Joohyun immediately leans forward, hands propping on the table. “Unnie, do you know her?”

“Know who?” You ask dumbly.

“That girl,” she points at Seulgi with her lips. “Did you date her?”

You almost choke on your own saliva at the ridiculousness.

Your sister leans closer to you. “Are you dating her?”

Now, you really choke on your own saliva. “Wha - what? That’s ridiculous, Hyun! She’s younger than you.”

“Oh. Okay …” Joohyun leans back on her seat with an innocent pout. “Can I tell you a secret, unnie?”

“You can tell me anything.”

“It’s weird,” Joohyun starts. “I’ve been having dreams about this place for over a month now.”

“Isn’t that why we’re always here and you’re always having sweets for dinner?”

“Yeah, but …” She’s going to do it again. You stop her hand from touching the wound on her forehead. “Sorry,” Joohyun mumbles before continuing, “Anyway, I … there’s something familiar about this place, unnie. I can feel it.”

“What’s the weird part?”

“There’s a girl in my dreams.”

“The girl of your dreams, you mean.” You .

“I’m serious, unnie.” You chuckle under her glare. “Am I gay?”

If Joohyun isn’t suffering from amn