It could be because this is the third beer she's nursed after the ton of shots she's knocked back, or the day’s just settling into her muscles, but Sana feels all kinds of beat. The party has barely taken its course - the night is still young in their dictionary - and Sana is stifling another yawn.

She's probably one of the oldest in the room, and she's starting to feel like it. The bass is overly loud and drumming through her system, but her body isn't reacting to it today. The air is humid and musty, the product of too many bodies in a small area moving against one another. What liquid sprinkles itself through it is either sweat, alcohol, and God knows what.

She's playing with the label on her beer, her nails grazing against it as she watches the girl dance in the sea of other ravers. She had declined today's other half of e, not really feeling in the mood to lose her mind - not with tomorrow's long day awaiting her. She knows she shouldn't, but she feels even more responsible than usual towards the other girl, because Sana’s rejection meant that she took the entire pill instead of the usual shared half.

The girl is off her , even Sana could tell from all the way tucked in her booth. Pink dipped ends sticks to her face with every jerk of her head at the beat, rolled eyes peek through the drooped lids because she’s too far gone to keep them open. She's in the zone. Obviously, the e had taken full effect, pumping through her and heightening her senses, as if the beat and her body was one entity.

When she doesn't reject the hands that grapple at her sides but instead falls into them and reciprocate the grind is when Sana abandons her last sip of beer and stamps her way to the dance floor for the first time tonight. She's not jealous or anything, Sana knows that for certain, it's just girl code. If the girl’s too drunk and high to reject people’s advancements, then Sana will have to do it for her - whether needed be or not.  

She has to hit at the guy’s chest a few times to get him to release his manhandle. He drops his hold but doesn't move, instead he stands his ground and stares Sana down. He's a big guy, if she's lucky Sana stood up to his shoulders. It's always the same excuse of we're just having fun, but Sana wasn't interested in fun at the moment, so she yells at him to find some other girl to before he calls her a and does as she says.

For the first time in a while Sana regrets going out on a Sunday night. Tonight was exhausting instead of fun - maybe she should’ve taken her half of the e. It seems to be doing wonders on the girl who’s staring straight at the strobe lights like she was a moth. Before she blinds herself, Sana grabs her and pulls her away from the epileptic light show. The girl’s giggling in her arms, but Sana finds nothing funny this time around to join in with the laughter.

this hidden underage club and everyone in it.

Sana has the girl’s arm around her shoulders before she grabs at her waist, because her legs have given way and Sana isn't in the mood to literally drag her out of the basement. She makes eye contact with one of the girl’s friends, well one that isn't too off their face, to convey that she's turning in - for the both of them.

She blocks out all forms of protest that is spewing into her ear, continuing to carry the weight of the girl even when she drags her feet to go back to the party. The entire act looks highly suspicious, what with the loud protests, but they frequent this club enough that nearly everyone knew they were together. They're out on the streets with a lot of effort on Sana's part, and it takes skill to balance the lucid sack of potatoes whilst hailing a cab.

The cab driver gives her a look, the judgement is as clear as the moon in the sky, and Sana just sighs because she knows. As the adult between the two, she should’ve intervened before it got this far. She’s usually too faced to notice and acknowledge the judgement others stared and whispered around her.

The drive is awkward and tense, but not silent. The mumbles and giggles erupting from beside her just makes the experience all that worse.

Before they turn into a quiet suburban street, Sana palms at the girl’s jean shorts, quite surprised to still find a cell phone in there. With all of the dropkicks in the club, she would’ve assumed someone would’ve tried to knick the cell, since the girl was an obviously easy target in her state. It's just as easy to access the phone, Sana rolls her eyes at the level of security of not having a password on it, but doesn't mind it tonight because it makes her job easier. She messages the girl’s younger brother, he’s always ready to help them bypass the house’s security system and strict parents.

Sana requests for the cab to wait on the outskirt of the suburb for her. She wasn't sure how long she'd be, but had promised to pay with the clock still on. The driver had said yes straight away, because who doesn't want to be paid for sitting around. Sana needed a quick route of escape, the price didn't matter.

Tonight seems to be a first for a lot of things, because Sana’s not in the mood to stick around for her usual after party.

It's a little easier today, what with Sana being much more sober than she is usually. The girl’s younger brother has his playlist on full blast as he let's them in, masking the beeps of him keying in the password to the alarm system to the back door. Moving like it's a daily routine, because sadly it is, he brings his loud music with him as they walk the deadweight upstairs. When they have to make it past the parents’ room to get to the girl’s, he stands at their door as Sana glides by, before entering to bid goodnight to his parents when Sana slips into the girl’s room and clicks it close.

Mission accomplished.

Only then does she breathe a sigh of relief. It felt much easier doing this entire mission when she was as high as a kite. She never felt the doom of being caught like she did before.

Messy is what Sana sees. Overly perspiring, Sana could also see the spilt chemicals of broken glow sticks mixed with glitter littering the girl’s skin. Tonight was just like any other night, but it was also the first night Sana saw the mess that entails their nights out.

She doesn't know how she's gotten into this mess, and why there's still a part of her that would do it all again. Tonight should have been enough of a deterrent for her. Kneeling beside the girl that's trying to peel her own clothes off, Sana reaches under the bed for the clean up box. Inside are three bottles of water and a clean face towel, the kind regards of the girl’s younger brother replenishing the items every day.

She had met the two oddballs of siblings about five months ago when they walked into her workplace. She would usually spend ten or so minutes on a customer, because ninety percent of the time they knew what they were looking for. These siblings though, it was as if they didn't know clothes and shoes if it wasn't  for the ones on their backs. Sana had spent a good hour on them, each, and had racked up a good sale.

They were rich. Like, limousine, mansion, company owning, filthy stinking rich.

It was easy to say that that wasn't the last Sana saw of them.

How it went from happily helping them shop to clumsily pouring water onto a washcloth to wipe away the ick of the club from the girl’s skin, Sana would never know.

It just happened.

The happy sibling image had a more quaking truth behind it than what was seen. Being smack bang in the middle of their reality, Sana doesn't know if she could ever see them in their original light again.

The two stuck out for each other, like any sibling should, but Sana saw the imbalanced share of responsibility. Hell, she was contributing to the rocky balance.

But she's Sana Minatozaki - this isn't her first tango in the troubled family household.

It's just the first time she saw the other side to it.

Well, this was as good as she was going to get without literally pouring the three bottles of water on the girl. Placing the last full bottle on the bedside table for the girl in the morning, Sana stares at the sleeping figure. She sees so much of herself in her, it's scary.

How had she gotten attached to such a troubled teen, the scenario was so ridiculous and ironic Sana couldn't help but let out a chuckle. She absent-mindedly plays with the ring on the girl’s thumb, the sight of her peacefully resting gives her a sense of peace too.

Another night finished and they're both still breathing and intact. An accomplishment on its own.

Knowing it's better to call it a night now than to get caught, Sana tucks the girl in before heading to her window. She felt so silly, now that she thinks about it.

Sneaking a teenage girl past her parents and into her room, then sneaking out of her bedroom window? Was Sana in some sappy romcom? She needs a letterman jacket and douche haircut to complete the fantasy.

Sana tiptoes across the tiled roof towards the corner edge before using the lattice fence to climb down. She feels bad for the neighbour’s dog. She had heard from the girl that her parents had been harassing the neighbours about their dog ruining their rose garden. Standing in said garden now, Sana mumbles a sorry to the German Shepherd over the fence, and a thank you for taking the blame.

Sana takes high precaution when walking the suburban street. It had been years since she's ever walked these streets of white picket fences, screwed up expectations full of liars and cheats.

Or maybe that's just Sana's suburb.

Paranoia still wracks her, nonetheless. She makes it her mission to find every shadow to walk in. Wouldn't be good to be caught now. She had turned in much earlier than usual, so chances of being seen was high.

She begins to jog when the yellow of the cab can be seen from around the corner. Mumbling the address of her apartment complex, Sana sinks into the leather seats of the cab. That entire trip took what little energy she had left.

She was halfway home when she remembers about leaving the girl a note. It was something she's done since this whole partying everyday began, but she had forgotten today. She'll just send the girl a text later tonight. It wasn't like they meant much anyways.

The cab fee was horrible. It costed at least two of her paychecks. In her usual disorientated mind, she never really knew who paid for her rides to and from the house. But being sober this time, Sana had regretfully parted ways with her hard earned money - she should have taken the train home. The walk home would have been good to clear her mind, and it would have meant she wouldn't have run into her neighbour.

“How was babysitting?”

Sana scoffs at the remark. The girl that lives across her always has some quip to add. Unlocking her door, Sana pushes it open and leaves it like that, turning to face her neighbour that wore an expectant face.

“Great.”

Her reply gets a slow nod. It’s a little past midnight and that meant her neighbour has just gotten back from her nightly jog. She should have checked the time before heading up. These encounters always ended with her contemplating her choices.

Sana hates second guessing her doings.

“Don't need help inside tonight?”

She doesn't know if she had meant anything more than the question itself, but it makes her feel self-conscious anyways. She drops the eye contact she made sure to keep, accepting defeat. It was embarrassing. They both knew what she was up to at night - Sana has an idea of how she gets into her room afterwards - but neither of them ever spoke about it.

Talking about it means making the issue real, as if it were a problem.

“I'm fine, Momo.”

The way she kicks off from leaning on her door frame makes it seem like Sana had just rejected her. She does her slow nodding again, and Sana would give anything to know what the girl’s thinking about when she does that.  

They're never like this in the morning. How they interact is as stark as day and night. Momo never looks at her the way she does at night, her eyes weren't as bright either, clouded with thoughts Sana couldn't fathom.

“I'm just across the hall, you know.”

The implication was there, and Sana had picked up on it. The ball was in her court now. Her nights were already planned out though, Sana's hands were full enough. She did want to play ball though, the thought of accepting is very tempting.

But temptation has always been Sana's demise.

So, maybe not this time. She has to learn how to say no, and maybe this is the start.

Was it the wrong decision, though?

“Not tonight, Momo, I'm sorry.”

Before she could finish her sentence the girl had already began to retreat. Regret fills her immediately, maybe no was the wrong answer this time around.

“No need to be sorry. Just, when you're tired of drinking the night away, and finding temporary  solace, my door’s always open.” A beat of silence falls between them, Momo’s eyes falling from hers, catching onto her fidgeting. “Nice ring, by the way.”

She disappears soon after behind her apartment door and Sana is left alone, like usual, contemplating her decisions as she plays around with the matching ring on her thumb.  

Dahyun makes her feel young and carefree, like her problems would never be able to touch her when she's with her.

Momo brings her back to reality. She makes her feel grounded, as if security is obtainable. A taste of stability.

She doesn't know who to choose, just that choosing Momo scares her.