Days passed by without incident. Days turned to weeks of mediocrity. I worked tirelessly, hardly resting and even eating. Finally, the weeks became months and it became dauntingly close.

Our comeback.

Endless hours of practice made my body so sore that it felt as if my flesh was burning. Everything hurt then everything quickly became numb. It was difficult to feel anything – even the hunger and fatigue faded into a big lump of nothingness.

If there was one other thing on my mind, it was Wonwoo. No one else seemed to notice, but I knew something was off. He was so distant, I felt as if he was miles away. To be frank, I missed him – I missed his ridiculous jokes and even his playful taunts. We only got close when we huddled as a group and, when we were forced to interact, he acted overly friendly to a point that it was more unnerving than him avoiding me.

I wanted to fix whatever was going on between us, but there was no time. It was sleep, practice, sleep, practice. Over and over again in a vicious cycle. When I got a few minutes to myself, my mind would be filled with our choreography and it was impossible to think about anything else.

“Soonyoung ah.”

I was startled out of my thoughts. I found Jihoon staring worriedly at me.

“Hey,” I called. My voice came out all hoarse and funny.

Woozi grimaced. “Have you been resting at all? You don’t look very good.”

I feigned a smile and whipped my hair back dramatically. “Don’t lie. I always look good.”

The small boy rolled his eyes at me. “Seriously. You don’t want to get sick during promotions.”

“Don’t worry about me,” I assured. “You’re the one who should be resting. You’ve been basically living in the recording studio.”

“I nap there all the time,” he chuckled. “And our recording went really smoothly this time. It made me really happy.”

I grinned at him. He was so cute like a puppy. A musical genius puppy at that. I went to pat him gently on the head – I knew he would hate it, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Yah, stop!” he protested adorably, smacking my hand away. I started laughing, rather madly from all the pent up stress, and he chimed in, holding his belly. The other members didn’t even regard us weirdly since they knew Woozi and I could show signs of unusual behavior before our comeback. It was obviously a side effect from overworking.

Suddenly, I felt a weird chill run down my spine. It was one of my instincts kicking in – my body was warning me that I was being watched. With Woozi still cracking up beside me, I looked around cautiously.

There he was, Wonwoo in all his glory, glaring at me. We met eyes for a second then he quickly looked away. Then he crossed his arms and angrily left the room.

That was it. This was the final straw. I was so done with his bull.

“Hey, you!” I yelled furiously as I followed him out the practice room. “Jeon Wonwoo!”

He stopped in his tracks and turned sharply to face me. Anger was still lingering on his expression.

“What?” he hissed back. I was taken aback by his rude tone.

“What is the matter with you?” I snapped.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been avoiding me!” I cried, pointing a finger at him. “You’ve been acting weird for the past few months and I’m done with your crap!”

“I’m mad at you!” he bellowed.

I stared at him wide eyes. “Why?!” Was I too impatient with him during practice? Did I make an insensitive joke?

He stepped closer to me and there was actual outrage in his eyes. And something else… was it worry? “Because you’re not taking care of yourself!”

For the first time in my life, I stood there speechless. I had no idea what to say to that.

“Wha –”

“You haven’t been resting! You haven’t been eating! You just keep practicing like an idiot!”

“Excuse me?” I said, more confused than angry. “Our comeback is coming up—”

Wonwoo grabbed my shoulders so hard that I could feel him trembling. “You… You’re more important.”

“Wonwoo…” I was too baffled to fully react to his words.

“Please eat and sleep. Then practice. Take care of yourself first.”

I nodded hesitantly and he finally let me go.

He started to walk away, leaving me in my confounded state. Then his footsteps stopped.

“And don’t get too close to Jihoon.”

I turned to question his strange request, but he was already gone.

***

Before I knew it, it was already June. Our comeback was drawing dangerously near. We were planning for July and there was still so much to be done. Despite my promise to Wonwoo, I hadn’t been eating or resting nearly as much as I should. Even our manager pointed out the fact that I was looking a bit too thin, but I brushed it off by saying that I was actually on a diet to go for a sharper look this time around.

The rest of the group was working just as hard, practicing by day and night. Even Seokmin and Seungkwan barely had the time and energy to break the tension with their friendly humor. Everyone was in their own worlds, preparing themselves to be perfect and flawless for what was coming. I found myself constantly in a puddle of sweat with my body aching nonstop.

“Okay, guys. Good work. Let’s end practice here for today,” I said to the other three performance team members.

“Yay!” Jun cheered happily. Minghao stretched his legs, using Jun as support.

“Hyung,” Dino came over to me with a satisfied grin. “I think our choreography this time is really a step up from last time.”

I smiled at him. “I think so, too. We just need to work on a few small details and it’ll be perfect.”

The three started to gather their stuff to leave. “I’m starving, let’s eat!” Minghao claimed. Dino and Jun skipped towards the exit in excitement.

“You guys go,” I told them. “I want to work on some stuff.”

Dino pouted cutely. “Hyung, you’ve been hardly eating. Aren’t you taking your diet a little too seriously?”

I waved at them, signaling for them to go ahead and leave. “Don’t worry about me and go eat. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“Okay,” they all answered reluctantly, but I could tell that they were a little concerned. Finally, I was left all alone in the practice room with only myself in the reflections of the mirrors around me.

I the music again. There was a specific part that I wasn’t satisfied with and it was bothering me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I had that part ironed out.

I began to dance and it was as if I was under a spell. I observed the mirror as if it was showing someone else. I wanted to make sure everything looked perfect. Everything had to be perfect.

With a sharp screech of my sneakers, my legs gave way and I collapsed to the floor. Perhaps I had really overdone myself. I wanted to get back up, but there was no strength left within me.

Had I been breathing this hard? My chest rose and sunk at an alarmingly fast pace. Maybe I could close my eyes for one second? That wouldn’t hurt right?

“Hey.”

I slowly opened my eyes. I was surprised to see Wonwoo staring down at me.

“Did you fall asleep here?” he asked, softly kicking my legs stretched out on the ground.

Oh, shoot, did I? I hurriedly got up then gasped as I felt an intense pain in my chest.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked worriedly as he crouched next to me. It was the nicest tone that he had used in a while. It was almost as if he cared about me.

“I’m fine,” I lied. “What time is it?”

“Midnight,” he answered.

“Ah, . I wanted to finish up the choreo…” I mumbled disappointedly.

“Hey, you know what day it is right?”

I looked at him curiously as if it was a trick question. “Wednesday? Wait, I guess it's technically Thursday now?”

He looked back at me in disbelief. “It’s your birthday, idiot.”

“What?!” I shouted. Was it really my birthday? I reached for my phone in panic.

June 15^th.

Oh, goodness. It really was.

I must have been really obsessed with the upcoming comeback to not have noticed.

But Wonwoo had somehow remembered.

“Thanks,” I murmured in deep appreciation.

“Thanks for what?” Wonwoo questioned.

“For remembering…”

I didn’t blame the other members. How could I get upset at them when I myself had been so preoccupied to realize it was my birthday?

“How could I forget?” he said with a low chuckle. “I didn’t get you anything though.”

I smiled. “That’s fine.” I was just happy that he even remembered. Despite the weird tension between us, I guess Wonwoo was one of my closest friends after all.

“Did you want anything?” he asked.

“Yeah…” I spoke up hesitantly. “Can we be normal again?”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “What do you mean?”

I looked down, not sure how to phrase it. “You’re… different. I feel distant from you. I’m not sure if I did something wrong, but if I did, please forgive me.”

Wonwoo sighed in defeat.

“I-I miss you,” I confessed shyly. “I miss being close to you.”

“Soonyoung…”

I felt him move, but I didn’t dare meet eyes with him. Gently, he came closer and softly planted his lips on my forehead.

I slowly looked up at him, not able to comprehend what was going on.

A part of me was expecting him to suddenly leave in a fit of rage – which was what had commonly followed after he did something bizarre these days. However, he just smiled at me, his smile so genuinely that I couldn’t stop my heart from racing out of control.

“Happy birthday, idiot,” he simply said. Despite the fact that he had completely ignored what I had said like the brutal jerk he was, I couldn’t help myself from smiling back at him.

And in that moment, it was as if everything was right in the world.