“ this,” I muttered tying my laces and sighed into my palms. It was another day of trying to prove my worth to the world. I shook my head and looked up to find Sohee and Minji peering down at me. “What?”

            “You seem upset,” Minji commented.

            “When am I not upset?” I questioned and then laughed. “I’m just joking with you. I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep to well last night.”

            Sohee frowned at me and offered a hand to help me up. I thanked her and she gave me a aegyo-filled smile. “It’s a new day, so let’s try and make it better than yesterday!”

            I rolled my eyes at her random optimism. “Who spiked your tea? You’re never this way.”

            Sohee giggled and shrugged. “I’m just trying to make you feel better!”

            I shrugged and made my way across the dorm to the kitchen. The one thing that I enjoyed about living in a dorm with 6 other people; I never had to make my own coffee. I poured myself a cup and added two spoonfuls of sugar before taking a long sip. I smiled as the warmth slid down my throat.

            “Minyoungie!” Hae shouted running into the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow at her and continued to sip my coffee. “Guess who is going to be on the comeback stage on Thursday?”

            “Uh… us?” I laughed setting my mug down.

            “More like us, Block B, and BTS!” She squealed and gave me a toothy grin. Hae was the maknae of our group and she acted like it. “Aren’t you excited? Block B has been your favorite group. I remember in training you would practically swoon over their performances.”

            I glanced down at my hands and the heat began to rise to my cheeks. She wasn’t wrong, but it made me embarrassed to think of my trainee days. I loved Block B and fawned over Park Kyung. Now that I was an idol I tried to leave my fangirling in the past. I didn’t have a lot of time to listen to groups anymore since we debuted, but I had to admit I was excited to see Block B preform. “We should get going,” I announced suddenly scanning Hae’s face. The look of happiness she had faded and she sighed clearly sad she didn’t get a rise out of me.

            “You heard the lady,” Yoonjo said from the living area. “Let’s get going. We have to practice and perfect our performance for Thursday.”

 

 

            “Let’s run it one more time,” I huffed out breathlessly. I leaned down and picked up my half-empty water bottle before taking a swig. The water trickled down my throat and gave me a small sense of relief.

            “Minyoung,” Eunbin whined. Her black hair was matted against her forehead and she had exhaustion written all over her. We usually didn’t practice this late; we were suppose to be done two hours ago, but the dance just wasn’t looking right. “We’ve been going over the same part for over an hour now.”

            I glanced back at her and smiled. “Well if you guys would’ve gotten it right the first time, we wouldn’t be practicing this late.”

            “Unnie,” Sohee drawled out.

            My jaw hardened and I met eyes with her. Sohee had the sweetest expression on her face and was hardly even sweating. She was the lucky one of the group who didn’t sweat nearly as much as the rest of us. “This has to be perfect.” I looked at Yoonjo seeking some reassurance.

            “Minyoung is right. It needs to be perfect. If it’s not perfect than what will we accomplish?” Yoonjo said in a stern voice. She was considered the mom of the group by Jinxies and I was the dad of the group. She sometimes had to push people in a bossy manner, because I was too easy-going sometimes.

            “Let’s run it one last time for the night,” Minji suggested with a smile towards me, knowing it would please me. She was always such a sweetheart. She always tried to de-stress everyone in the group and make us smile.

            I smiled back at her and nodded. “I think that’s a great idea. We have to have a discussion after we run this once more.”

            I walked over to the stereo while everyone got in their positions and restarted the track. They didn’t know why I had been pushing them so hard the past few days, so everyone seemed on edge around me. I smiled to myself and pushed play on the stereo. I jogged to my place in the back and took a knee.

            Minutes went by as all seven of us danced and mouthed the words to the lyrics. Our comeback song, With You, had a huge rap in the middle of it where Hyunjoo rapped a few lines then I had a solid 20 seconds of rap. I was terrified to have to start performing it on stages soon. I’m always scared that I will let down our Jinxies, especially as the leader of Jinx. The song ended which left us all in a unique pose as one unit.

            “That’s was better,” I mumbled jogging over to the stereo to click pause to make sure the next song didn’t start playing. I blew out hot hair and turned to look at the girls. They all were sitting in various positions on the floor waiting for our “meeting” to start. Each of them appeared exhausted and ready to sleep. I smiled wholeheartedly and plopped myself down next to Eunbin. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing so hard today. I just want everything to be perfect for Thursday.”

            “You started making us work harder once you knew we would be on the comeback stage with Block B,” Hae mentioned casually fiddling with a loose strand of hair.

            I blushed and started to object. “That’s not why! We need the practice so it can be perfect.”

            “Minyoungie has a crush on Park Kyung!” Sohee squealed.

            My mouth dropped open, I was completely shocked that she said that in front of the entire group. “I do not!” I cried out quickly.

            “Minyoung,” Yoonjo giggled playfully. “I’ve known you since you started being a trainee. I’ve never seen you blush over anything and suddenly the mention of Kyung makes you swoon. I’m going to have to agree with Sohee on this.”

            I huffed out air aggressively and shoved my face into my hands. “Guys…this is embarrassing.”

            “Minyoung, our emotionless leader, has… feelings?” Eunbin’s words dripping with sarcasm.

            “We have to get you meet him,” Hyunjoo shrieked, giving everyone a huge smile. “Guys, we have to get this to happen!”

            I jerked my head up and shook my head quickly. “Guys no… we are not going to interfere with them. They’re busy idols. We’re busy idols. Our world is too much to collide.”

            “Minyoungie,” Sohee complained. “Just because you’re an idol doesn’t mean you have to suppress your emotions.”

            “