This whole ‘love disease’—hanahaki—thing, wasn’t unfamiliar to Jaehwan.

 

He’d seen it around the internet, naturally. He read what it does to you, the symptoms, how you got it (and how to avoid it), how the different flowers coughed up represent the specific feelings you had towards them, but nothing about how to specifically cure it.

There’ve been some ways, such as surgery and medicine or whatever.

 

They say that one of the solutions is by confessing to them.

 

However, confessing is one of the best—or worst methods.

 

If you confessed and the person happened to have the same feelings for you, then it’ll disappear. Just like that. To put it in a more ‘elegant’ or ‘delicate’ way—in other words, more romantic—instead of these flowers blooming inside of you, possibly killing you, a new relationship will bloom instead.

However, if it wasn’t mutual, then—to put it in a way—just be prepared for the absolute worst.

He had read countless of articles online, most were indeed successful, yet some of the latter cases still happened. All the articles had one thing in common though: if it didn’t work, the love was stayed one sided, you only have 1 day left. Before it all consumes you.

 

1 day remaining for you to simultaneously relive and make new memories in just 24 hours.

 

And just like that, you’ll be devoured. As if you’ve never existed.

They were definitely quite extreme and tragic, but nonetheless, Jaehwan still found this whole thing just plain ridiculous.

 

What kind of fool would let themselves get caught up in such a troublesome yet enticing experience to the point where they’re risking their lives. Its not like they weren’t aware of what they were doing—hell, they were fully aware of their actions.

 

But it was as if they didn’t know the consequences.

 

So yeah, it’s ridiculous.

Who would be dumb enough to risk their life just because the other person didn’t love them back, yet they love them endlessly? They continue to run after them, knowing fully well that it’ll just be a fruitless chase. They cough up blood, flowers, all because they have an unrequited love for a specific someone.

 

Besides, Jaehwan hadn’t seen it actually happen personally—yet.

He thought that he wouldn’t ever witness, much less experience such an incident.

 

Who would’ve thought that HE would be the idiot that would get himself tangled in-between all these thorns and petals, the things that are endangering his own life.

Who would’ve thought that HE would get himself involved in this ‘love’ thing.

 

He blames no one but himself.

 

He can’t lie to himself anymore, he has to admit that things are looking worse than before.

Regular coughs that were only just once or twice a day became five to seven. Then by next week it would be ten coughs a day. But he was still in a heavy state of denial.

 

‘No, no—this can’t be happening, its not real. It’ll be gone in no time.’ he thinks to himself.

 

It was as if all the flowers he threw away, all the crimson-stained clothes he had to wash, all the metallic floral scent lingering in his room, all the dizziness and sharp throb in his heart wasn’t enough to convince poor little Jaehwan.

He still had that hope that maybe—maybe, it would go away by itself. (Of course, this wasn’t a method he’d found on the internet.)

And before he knew it, a month passed by.

A month full of denial, a month full of ragged breaths, painful headaches, and metallic scent.

A month full of nothing but sweet torture that Jaehwan had to withstand all by himself.

 

He was impressed, to say the least. In both a good and bad way.

He’s lucky enough that despite all the blood he spewed out he’s still alive today. One month? Who would’ve thought.

But he’s had enough. He’s tired of living like this—tired of how its unfair that he’s so helpless in such a situation. He wished he could just call Minhyun to help him, to have Minhyun comfort him like always.

 

But he’s with Minki nowadays.

 

The sight of them smiling at each other made his stomach churn in the familiar painful way it had always been for the past month, his heart started beating irregularly, his chest tightened and—and—

 

He sprung awake.

 

He was gasping for air, his bangs stuck to his forehead due to his sweat, and his eyes quickly glanced around his surroundings. It took a while for him to actually calm down and even out his breath. He tried to remember what happened. All that he could recall was that he ran and ran back to his dorm, everything was fine, until—

Until Minhyun called him.

He remembered the exact words Minhyun had said to him.

 

“I can always cancel my plans with Minki.”

 

His mind was such a jumbled mess, he didn’t even know if he could trust himself to do anything right now. Fortunately, he heard the door open softly, so that stopped him from thinking about anything else.

“Jaehwan? Are you up yet?”

 

It was Daniel...?

 

“D-Daniel? W-what are you doing here?”

 

Daniel said nothing but looked at him with such a serious expression. It resembled a scowl, it definitely looked like he was angry, but what did Jaehwan ever do to him..?

This definitely wasn’t the usual goofy Daniel that everyone—that Jaehwan knew of.

 

He’d never seen Daniel look at him like this before. His eyebrows were scrunched together, his eyes staring at him so intensely, his mouth in a frown, yet he can’t help but still look bothered.

 

“Jaehwan, listen—we need to talk. Now.”

 

 Daniel softly approached Jaehwan, trying to come off as somewhat stern and serious, but not a lot would ever take him seriously once you see him in his pink pyjama set and bunnie slippers. He sat right beside Jaehwan, gently swiping his bangs away from his sweaty forehead, all while seemingly trying to recollect his thoughts. 

 

“How long?”

 

How...?

 

“W-what are you talking a-about—“ Jaehwan squeaked out. His voice was trembling, he could feel the familiar stinging pain in his eyes. He didn’t need to ask Daniel what he was asking about. He knew that the clever boy knew already.

“Stop bullting Jaehwan! You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he sternly said to him in a fierce manner that startled Jaehwan.

However his facial features immediately softened once he looked at Jaehwan in the eyes. Jaehwan just seemed shocked, of course, but he seemed so—afraid. Daniel realized that he might’ve come off  too harsh for his friend, but he can’t help it—he’s just so worried.

 

“Listen—I, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean—“ he huffed out a sigh while slowly Jaehwan’s hair, attempting to calm the both of them down, “I didn’t mean to shout like that. It’s just—I’m just worried, Jaehwan,” he said while flashing an apologetic smile.

 

“So please. How long, Jaehwan?”

 

Jaehwan had never seen Daniel so concerned before. He was still afraid and anxious to actually tell him, but he knew Daniel.

He could trust him with all his life.

Lying would be useless anyways since the guy could practically see right through him. He gulped hard and with a trembling voice and a tight throat, he quietly whispered,

 

“One month.”

 

There was nothing but silence engulfing the whole room, the air was thick with tension and Jaehwan didn’t even notice he was holding his breath until Daniel softly patted him on the hand, all while showing him a gentle smile, the same old smile he had seen for the past 5 years.

Daniel was at least relieved to know that Jaehwan could trust him with anything and everything.

 

“Ok—ok.”

He needed to warn Jaehwan now, before its too late.

He doesn’t want the same thing to happen to Jaehwan.

He doesn’t want it to happen to anyone actually.

 

“D-Daniel, what happened to me? W-W-Why are you here?” his voice cracked, tears were threatening to spill over so easily now. God—he can’t break down now, not now.

“H-How did you know?”

Daniel remained silent, he himself looked quite shaken up with the whole situation. His throat visibly tightened, he gulped, and let out a shaky breath,

“I—I saw you. In class. The flower, the one you coughed up, Jaehwan,” he looked at him with a sympathetic smile.

 

“You forgot to throw it away.”

 

Oh no.

 

“I—I figured I’d follow you just to make sure you’re alright.”

“But when I was banging the door, y-you didn’t respond. I got worried so I just barged in and—,” he closed his eyes momentarily, letting out a shaky breath as he remembered the sight in front of him, “you were there, lying on the floor with blood all over you.”

 

“God—Jaehwan I was so so worried.”

 

Everything seemed to make sense now. Jaehwan could remember everything clearly now.

 

Why—why did Jaehwan forget? How could he forget?

The one thing that he’d always make sure to remember. Whenever he coughed up a flower in public, he’d always throw it away. He’d managed to do it countless of times before, but why did he forget this time?

If only he threw it away, he wouldn’t have dragged Daniel into this mess—

 

“Hey, Jaehwan!” Daniel shouted and gripped Jaehwan’s shoulders, trying to prevent Jaehwan from having a mental breakdown.

Fortunately, it worked. Jaehwan didn’t even know that he had started trembling and gasping for air.

“I know that a lot is happening right now, and I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this,” Daniel said as Jaehwan calmed down, “but I need to ask you now, Jaehwan.”

 

“Who do you like?”

 

Jaehwan knew that sooner or later he would get busted. He knew that at one point, he’d be confronted about the disease. But honestly, the last person he’d expect was for it to be Daniel.

“I don’t understand—why do you care so much about this, about me, Daniel?” he managed to croak out, he hadn’t even noticed tears started to trickle down his face.

“I don’t want to drag you into this—this mess. Daniel I—“

 

“I don’t want you to experience the same thing, Jaehwan.”

 

The same..thing..?

 

“What do you—“ Jaehwan stuttered out, confused, before Daniel cut him off with a trembling voice.

 

“I—,” he shortly said before taking in a breath of air, trying to calm down before telling it to Jaehwan. Jaehwan could see that his eyes started to glisten slightly even under the dim lamp.

 

“I had hanahaki. A couple of years ago.”

 

Jaehwan was taken aback. He’d never thought that his closest friend would ever go through such a thing. He knew Daniel as the campus’ heart throb. He thought that he wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing. Apparently not.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me..? After all this time, you never—“

“How could I?” he said with a pitiful smile, “I didn’t wanted to burden you Jaehwan. Hell, maybe I was just afraid that you’d freak out on me. I didn’t have the guts to tell anyone that my love interest was a guy, Jaehwan.”

 

It was silent for a while. Jaehwan heard a couple of sniffs in front of him, he wanted to comfort Daniel, he really did, but he just couldn’t move. He never meddled too much with his friends’ love interests, he didn’t mind who their partner were. As long as they’re happy, Jaehwan’s happy too.

“You know that I’d never hate you because of that right?” Jaehwan said gently to Daniel while patting his back. “Daniel, you’ve given so much to this friendship of ours for the past years, you’ve become one of my few reasons to smile every day, the least I could do was to help you.”

 

“I—I know. I know, Jaehwan, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

 

“But that’s why I care so much about this mess, because you are going through it. I know how painful it was, and I don’t want you to go through it alone like I did.”

 

Jaehwan could see the desperateness and determination in Daniel’s eyes, not to mention his now firm and steady voice. He finally built up the courage to say the name, the one name that he dears so much.

 

“Minhyun.”

 

“I like Minhyun.”

 

It’s sort of funny how he finally admits that he likes Minhyun now, after a month of excruciating pain and sweet torture. He laughed slightly to himself, for all those useless months of denying the fact that he does like Minhyun. He finally admitted after all those blatant obvious signs.

 

 

He waited for anything to happen at this point. Jaehwan having feelings for one of his closest friends? What a perfect formula to ruin their friendship.

He expected Daniel to react in some kind of way. Maybe he’d laugh at Jaehwan, maybe he’d be grossed out. Maybe he’ll even leave Jaehwan.

But he got none of that.

 

“Minhyun? That’s it? It’s him?”

 

Jaehwan had mixed feelings for Daniel’s reaction. He was certainly not expecting the lack of response. He was slightly frustrated and confused at the same time.

 

“What do you mean ‘That’s it’? Daniel, don’t you get it?”

“Jaehwan listen—“

“Someone like me liking someone like Minhyun just sounds like a hopeless relationship! For us to be together would be some kind of miracle or God’s work! Minhyun is completely out of my league, he’s everything that I’m not, both personality and appearance wise! I lack in so many aspects, I don’t deserve to even be close friends with him, but Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes-Prince-Lookin-Dude just had to be so kind and gentle to me and I can’t help but want more of it! Someone like Minhyun doesn’t deserve someone as unworthy as me.”

 

Jaehwan was panting now, and Daniel could only stare at him with an overwhelmed expression.

 

“Besides, he’s with Minki, isn’t he?” he continued dejectedly.

 

“Jaehwan!” he yelled quickly. Accidentally though, he swears.

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? It hurts me to know that you even think of yourself this way! You’re one of the most important people in my life, you’re so much more important than you think!”

“I want you to listen to me loud and clear, Jaehwan. I don’t want to ever see you throw insults at yourself anymore, I don’t want to ever see you underestimate your worth anymore.”

Daniel said them with such sincerity, Jaehwan can’t help but start to tear up again.

 

“Besides, everyone knows that you two are so comfortable with each other! You’d always try to make sure Minhyun is involved in everything that we do, making sure that he’s never left behind. You’re the only person that Minhyun can’t stay angry at for more than a day, because you have a special spot in his heart. You’re the only person that would never be afraid of embarrassing yourself in public whenever you’re with Minhyun. I’ve seen how you two interact.”

 

“Did you even realize that Minhyun has picked up your small little traits? He’s not afraid to laugh loudly in public anymore, he’s not afraid to shout in public when he has to, he’s not afraid to crack his lame jokes anymore. You’ve impacted him in ways more than you can think.”

 

Jaehwan was stunned, frozen in place. The sincere words that he’d said, he sounded so sure.

Daniel wasn’t done though.

 

“And his eyes, Jaehwan. His eyes always seem to twinkle whenever he sees you smile or laugh. His eyes would form crescent shapes from laughing too hard at your weird antics. He would look at you with such a gentle gaze, his expression endearing towards you.”

 

“I know I’m not the best at academics and rarely do I ever get my facts right, but there’s one thing I’m sure of. The eyes never lie Jaehwan—they never lie.”

 

At this point, Jaehwan was utterly speechless. He knew that Daniel meant every single word that he just said. What’s even more baffling to him is how all of it—well, for the most part, is true. Minhyun now laughs louder in public, he doesn’t stiffle it anymore. He would be embarrassed to share his lame jokes in public, now he doesn’t even mind if he had embarrassed himself.

 

Jaehwan started to rethink all of the time he had spent with Minhyun.

 

He realized that Minhyun indeed couldn’t stay angry at him for more than a day. Even when Jaehwan made mistakes like losing Minhyun’s favorite pen, spilling coffee all over his notebook, forgetting to return his umbrella for a whole (rainy) week, Minhyun had never raised his voice to Jaehwan. Ever.

Minhyun was angry, frustrated, and stressed. But not once did he ever hold a grunge against Jaehwan. Was it because Jaehwan apologized sincerely to him? Was it because he knew just how typical it would be for Jaehwan to do those things? Because no matter what, he’d forgive Jaehwan with a gentle smile and the same old phrase, “It’s alright, Jaehwan.”

 

When Jaehwan didn’t understand anything, Minhyun would patiently teach him, explaining everything to Jaehwan, even if it took a whole day and completely messed up his usual schedule of running his daily errands. Whenever he knew that Jaehwan hadn’t eaten yet that day, despite the younger not saying anything, he’d make sure he’d buy him lunch, or invite him over to his dorm for dinner. And when the younger ate with a blissful expression on his face, he’d always miss out on the fond gaze and gentle smile that Minhyun would give him.

 

Whenever Jaehwan had some ideas for a couple of songs, he’d bashfully asked Minhyun if he’d like to listen to them. Without fail, Minhyun would say yes, no matter what. (Jaehwan didn’t know if Minhyun knew that the songs he wrote were about him though. Hopefully, he doesn’t.)

 

He thought back to all those times when Minhyun would be there for Jaehwan whenever he needed him.

He thought back to those small gestures Minhyun would always do to calm Jaehwan down after a heavy and harsh day.

Whenever he’d start crying over the phone call, Minhyun knew exactly what to do. He’d rush to Jaehwan’s room in an instant, panting and rapidly knocking the door, not caring the slightest bit if he disturbed the others.

He’d always hug and engulf Jaehwan in his arms, so firm yet protective, how his face would instantly frown whenever he saw Jaehwan cry and how he absolutely hated it.

 

Minhyun was always—always—there for him.

 

Jaehwan can’t help but just think, why him?

 

Why him out of all people?

 

Jaehwan knows that although Minhyun is a gentle and kind person, he doesn’t really show any form of affection towards anyone else but Jaehwan. Only Jaehwan.

He can’t help but think that he doesn’t deserve someone like Minhyun at all.

Jaehwan has so much flaws and imperfections, Jaehwan is loud and annoying, Jaehwan isn’t a visual God, Jaehwan isn’t academically outstanding, Jaehwan’s just not special in any way.

 

He thinks that Minhyun would look so much more better off with Minki.

A compatible pair with a bright future ahead of them.

He doesn’t want to bring Minhyun down. He doesn’t want to burden him anymore.

 

Yet, Minhyun would never hesitate to care for Jaehwan.

Before he could think even further, he was disrupted by Daniel.

 

“Why don’t you confess?”

 

Jaehwan could only sputter in response and looked at him with eyes bulging out and mouth wide open.

 

“C-CONFESS?! ME? TO MINHYUN? DANIEL DO YOU EVEN—“

 

“Just listen to me for a second!” he quickly cut him off, effectively shutting Jaehwan up.

“I—I also thought that confessing would do me no good, but its alright Jaehwan,” he said, “its gonna be alright. I was hesitant just like you were, hell, I never even thought about confessing at all!”

“Trust me, I also thought he was completely out of my league,” he chuckled, “but turns out he blushed like hell when I did confess to him!”

“I—I’m so grateful that he loves me too, Jaehwan. I wouldn’t even want to know what would happen if I didn’t confess.”

 

“Now, I know you were thinking of how you don’t deserve Minhyun again, Jaehwan. I know you were thinking of how he looked better off with Minki and whatnot. But don’t you realize it?”

“Minhyun has been giving you affection ever since years ago, and trust me when I say that he doesn’t act the same way with Minki. They’re close, I admit, but he doesn’t—,” he softly sighed and looked at Jaehwan in the eyes,

 

“he doesn’t look at Minki the same way like how he looks at you.”

 

(And I’m sure he loves you too, Jaehwan. You just haven’t noticed it yet, Daniel thinks to himself.)

 

Jaehwan hesitated and thought about it for a moment.

Its not like he thinks that what Daniel said was true, but if he’s so sure of what he just said, there must be some truth to it.

 

“Just—just give it a try, ok?” he said while flashing his small bunny tooth smile, “trust me on this one too.”

 

Jaehwan wasn’t sure of anything anymore at this point. He’s never afraid to trust Daniel honestly, its just—he’s more scared of Minhyun’s rejection than actually dying. It sounds dramatic, he knows, but he just can’t stand the fact of Minhyun hating him just because he confessed.

(Minhyun would never hate him no matter what though.)

 

But Jaehwan’s had enough.

 

He’s tired of living like this, he’s tired of ruining his own life just because of this love he has towards Minhyun.

He’s tired of constantly denying everything.

He’s tired of running away.

He finally built up the confidence and finally made up his mind.

 

“Alright.”

 

“I’ll do it.”

 

For the first time, Jaehwan’s so terrified yet so sure of what he’s doing. He doesn’t know if Minhyun would ever love him back, but if he doesn’t then—

 

Then Jaehwan’s glad for all that Minhyun has done for him for the past years. He’s glad that he had made memories with him that he’ll never forget.

 

He’s glad that he fell in love with Minhyun.

 

Daniel could only look at Jaehwan with the typical facial expression he’d shown him everyday for the past 5 years, which consists of crescent eyes with wrinkles around its’ edges, a smile so wide it reaches both of his ears and his adorable bunny teeth. Daniel hugged Jaehwan so tight and even smooched his forehead.

 

“Thank you, Jaehwan. I—I’m glad you trust me on this one.”

 

“I know. Now get off me and treat me to some food and watch Weekly Idol with me,” he chuckled as he pried Daniel off his body.

“Alright, alright.”

 

Jaehwan rarely asks Daniel to stay with him until he’s about to sleep, but he just needed it today. He’s glad to have Daniel. He’s glad that his friend is willing to be dragged into this one hell of a mess, the least he could do was try and take Daniel’s advice.

Their day ended with many more laughters and a stack of empty ramen cups that Daniel will end up throwing away on his way out because Jaehwan said so.

Before that though, Daniel made sure to tuck Jaehwan back in bed, of course while smiling fondly at him, and never forgetting to peck his forehead once more. Some habits never change even after all these years.

 

Just as Daniel was about to leave, he heard Jaehwan faintly calling him.

 

“Hey, Niel?”

“Hm?”

 

“Thanks a lot—for today. I—I appreciate it, you know.”

 

Daniel looked at him and smiled, Jaehwan looked so comfortable and content tucked into his bed with his blanket up to his chest.

 

“You’re welcome, Jaehwan.”

 

“And Niel?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you like Seongwo—”

 

“Good night to you too Jaehwan.”

 

---

a/n: hello hello everyone!! im so sorry it took so long for me to update this chapter ;;

how is it?? i hope you liked it!! i'm sorry if its really long yet it didn't meet your expectationsㅠㅠ

its been really hectic haha! 

i'm joining this science fair event thing in late july so i was busy preparing for that~ and i also unfortunately sprained my knee 3 weeks ago ㅠㅠ

not to mention i've been struggling so much with the plot;; but i actually like how this chapter came out~

i personally like the ending hehe~^^

anyways sorry there's barely any Minhwan here, just friends!Nielhwan 

 

thats all for now, see you next time~! (P.S i upload much more faster on AO3 than here so feel free to check my fic there too!! my author name is 'winshikkie', and the fic has the same title~)