The two had always been a peculiar pair.

Unique, in their own quirky way.

They were polar opposites, in every single aspect possible.

So naturally, people would suspect that Minhyun would never clash with Jaehwan, in any way possible. But hey, life’s full of surprises, isn’t it?

They first met in their first year of high school.

First impressions from Jaehwan never really worked well with other people—well, everyone except for Minhyun.

He had never told this to anyone yet before, but something about Jaehwan intrigued him. Maybe it was something in his attitude, how he stood up for Minhyun when everyone was just plainly taking advantage of him for his brain.

Jaehwan was never exactly ‘dumb’ either. At least the kid knew right from wrong, and he somewhat gives his best—when he feels like it. His grades weren’t outstanding, but he was just a little bit above the average.

But at least he wasn’t a jerk, who would use someone else’s brain just like that. Everyone else seemed to fail to see Minhyun’s pure heart, to see how actually beneath all that calm and kind façade, he was just as stressed as they were—which had unfortunately multiplied because of them.

But he never declined anyone.

No matter how tired Minhyun seemed to be with those dark circles of his, adorning his eyes so comfortably, how frustrated he actually was, he would never decline anyone. With a kind (yet forceful) smile, he was willing to help them.

And maybe, because of that feature of his, was when Jaehwan started to pay more closer attention. It wasn’t over anything big really, just plain curiosity.

He’d never seen anyone so kind before. So gentle.

Someone who’s the complete opposite of him.

He was intrigued, to say the least.

And with a couple of more friendly hellos, movie nights, and stressful assignments, they both became each other’s support, without realizing it; they had an unbreakable bond.

Nothing else would be better than this, Jaehwan thought.

Jaehwan had never been the ‘expressive’ type of guy.

Excluding the countless of facial expressions he’d have in a single day, ranging from furrowed eyebrows and a pouty lip, all the way to crinkled eyes and a bright smile, he never really showed one specific side of him.

A side that he’d always keep to himself.

A side that he promised to never show anyone.

Promised.

Jaehwan never tells anyone if he’s sad.

Mostly because he’s afraid.

Of what?

Hell, he doesn’t even know himself.

Back when Jaehwan was a tiny and innocent boy, he smiled a lot. Out of every kid in the class, he’d laugh the most. It continued that way, until middle school.

Things got hard, it seemed.

Jaehwan might be fooling around most of the time, but he still wants to be educated. He yearns the feeling of excitement he gets whenever he learns and understands something new. Although, that spark soon died out.

When he was stressed, exhausted, pulling all-nighters to study for tests, he thought that he’d be judged as a hard-working kid. What he received was nothing of that sort.

Whenever he looked partially dead, whenever his eyes were red and swollen, voice hoarse from last night, his parents were anything but kind to him. His parents, the people who he thought he could rely on for warmth.

They scolded him, didn’t even once bothered to comfort him.

“What’s the use of crying?”

“Is crying gonna make your grades any better?”

Since then, Jaehwan found it difficult to seek comfort from others.

Really difficult.

Jaehwan wanted so bad to release this voice of his, this voice that so desperately screamed for help, this voice that craved comfort. He was suffocating and his chest hurts.

So, his prayers were somehow—miraculously—answered, either that or he must’ve obviously plastered it on his face, when Minhyun asked him,

“Jaehwan, why are you sad?”

At that point, Jaehwan finally let go.

He cried.

At that point, Jaehwan suddenly felt free.

His chest felt light, he could suddenly breathe again.

He sobbed in front of Minhyun, clutching his shirt so tight because he’s afraid Minhyun would leave him, he’s afraid he’d be alone again.

Minhyun just hugged Jaehwan so tight, engulfing his already small figure in his arms, pulling him close to his chest, and slowly rocked his body back and forth at a slow pace. He looked so much smaller and so much more fragile, it hurt Minhyun to look at him like this.

Jaehwan sobbed so hard. His throat hurt, his voice strained, the ringing sound was too much for his ears; he was just overwhelmed.

He was overwhelmed mainly because someone finally cared for him.

Minhyun gave him this comfort that was unfamiliar to him. It was gentle and nurturing, soft, caring, all the things Jaehwan have yet to experience.

That night, Minhyun went to sleep with Jaehwan.

He hugged the younger, giving him nothing but this newfound warmth. He his hair, cradled each strand in-between his fingers, wiping off the tear that would occasionally slip out of his eyes.

He would softly hush Jaehwan whenever a broken sob or a whimper would accidentally slip out, because Jaehwan would still try to keep it in, and whisper that it’s alright.

“It’s alright Jaehwan, I’m here. You’ll be alright.”

For the first time, Jaehwan wasn’t scared to let go. Especially when he’s with Minhyun.

But what was he so afraid of now?

He knows that he can call Minhyun whenever he wanted to, it was actually the older’s idea to begin with.

“Whenever you’re feeling down, just call me, okay? Please, Jaehwan.”

So yeah, he could’ve called him.

But something was stopping him.

Lately, as Minhyun spent more and more time with Minki, in Jaehwan’s eyes, he looked happier.

Much happier. Suddenly, Jaehwan felt afraid again.

Was he a burden all this time?

Was Minhyun just faking it?

After all the nights Jaehwan was reduced into a sobbing mess, was Minhyun going to leave him too?

He doesn’t know.

But right now, the pain in his chest hurt so much, too much for himself to bear alone, and it’s not the type of pain he’s familiar with. This excruciating pain made his heart throb, in a bad way.

The thorns pricked his heart harder, so hard to the point where it was getting hard to breathe. They were crawling their way up, latching themselves onto his throat and just barely seeping out to his mouth, it was overflowing. His throat tightened because he wanted to vomit out something so bad.

He thought he could’ve gotten used to this pain over the past month.

He thought that he could deceive himself into thinking that this won’t be a big deal, everything will be fine, everything will be normal again.

He thought of all the possibilities, denying himself from the plain, harsh truth.

He didn’t expect them to grow this fast, he was overwhelmed.

He was scared.

But not right now. He can’t vomit them out now, not when he’s near Minhyun.

His stomach churned at the sight of those two, and as much as he’d like for it to stop, it was too much for his fragile body to handle by itself.

So, he sat there, mustered up all that he could so he wouldn’t be too obvious, and coughed.

And as easy as that, there was a flower.

It was a carnation*.

Its dark red color seemed to mock Jaehwan, it was burning his eyes. Jaehwan scrambled out of his seat and rushed out of class as soon as it ended, leaving behind a confused Minhyun.

He can’t face him right now. Not now.

However, Jaehwan forgot to do one crucial thing.

He forgot to throw his flower away, like he always did.

His mind was too dizzy to think, too dizzy to think of the small little detailed habits he’d usually do to make sure no one knows.

His mind was fogged, blurred with the pain that seemed to drown his heart.

Little did he know, a certain tall man with pink fluffy hair was watching him the whole time.

He saw Jaehwan cough that red flower up.

Daniel saw Jaehwan.

And he was definitely going to talk to Jaehwan after this.

Before it’s too late.

Jaehwan ran. He ran and ran until he couldn’t feel his own legs anymore.

The sight of Minhyun together with Minki burned into the back of his mind and he wanted nothing but for it to be gone.

But he doesn’t know how.

Its a given fact that even though the pain is no longer there, the scar will remain.

It already ingrained itself inside the deepest parts of his mind, just like how the flowers were planting themselves deep inside his heart.

He burst through the door and almost tripped on his way in.

He was panting, wheezing, running out of breath. He was exhausted—mentally, physically, or emotionally, he doesn’t know. Maybe it was all three.

Jaehwan plopped onto his bed and let the most relieved sigh escape past through his lips.

He decided to sleep for a while—or maybe a few hours. Or maybe he’d sing, compose, run—anything to get his mind off that sickening memory that made his head spin and heart clench. Sadly, luck didn’t seem to be by his side for today.

His thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a ringtone, and he knew exactly who it’s from. He knew it was coming though, he dreaded it.

(He and Minhyun had made a promise ever since that night, they would set a special ringtone for each other. If either of them ever needed help, they knew they had each other to rely on. It almost seemed like nothing back then, but it meant everything to Jaehwan now.)

With a trembling hand and a quivering voice, he accepted the call.

“Jaehwan? Hwannie? Are you okay?”, Minhyun asked him with sincere worry tainted in his voice.

“Y-yeah, yeah I’m fine. What’s wrong?”

“You worried me for a bit back there, Hwannie! You’ve never left class so quick before.” Jaehwan found it weird how Minhyun had noticed that, but he doesn’t care about that.

At least not for now.

“I’m not feeling too well today—but it’s not a big deal, don’t worry,” Jaehwan tried to reassure him.

“You sure? Do you want me to come over? I can always cancel my plans with Minki.”

Minki.

Minhyun had plans with him.

He felt that familiar pain in his heart, the ringing in his ears, and how his stomach churned uncomfortably just hearing his name. He felt dizzy all of the sudden, his eyelids suddenly too heavy.

He was reminded of the painful memory of them together. Tears suddenly started to trickle down his face, stinging his eyes, just like how the flowers stung his heart.

“No. No, it’s alright. I’ll be fine.”

He almost let a sob slip past his trembling lips—almost. He almost let Minhyun hear the quiver in his voice.

“Jae—”

“I said I’ll be fine, hyung. Thanks, though. Have fun with Minki.”

Before Minhyun could say anything else, before it was getting too much, Jaehwan hung up.

He felt it rising to his throat again, he felt like vomiting again.

So, he did.

He kneeled down in the bathroom and spewed out everything that he could. He was sweating so much, but at this point he couldn’t differentiate between his sweat and his tears. His body was hunched in such a way that would hurt his back and nothing but gut-wrenching noises could be heard. He was bound to have a sore throat by tomorrow.

His tiles were stained red—a dark, crimson red that he could barely recognize as his own blood. He knew he must’ve spewed an excessive amount today, more than the usual. He could barely see anything though, the tears blurring his vision so much that the only thing he could see were splotches of red drenching his clothes.

He doesn’t even want to think about what flowers he had spewed up today.

His head was spinning so much.

He could barely take in any air—he was gasping for air.

He could barely think straight.

Suddenly, everything went black.

a/n: hello everyone!! i'm so sorry for the long delay, its been over a month i know ㅠㅠ

its the end of the semester so i've been really busy and stressed doing all the assignments and assessments;; i hope you can forgive me ㅠㅠ

how's the story so far? i hope you enjoy it!! uwu<33

i haven't developed the plot any further, hence the cliffhanger ^^;;

i'll be busy with exams so you'll probably see me in a month again,, so sorry ㅠㅠ

i hope your parents dont scold you when you cry, and dont bottle up your feelings!! take good care of yourselves~

until then~!

**a dark red carnation represents deep love and affection.