I would be lying if I said my first day at school wasn't intense. So much happened in just a single day that a week has passed and I still contemplate on it.

Much of the week was dedicatedd to introducing to us the basic concepts in each of our classes. We were asked in one of our subjects to pick an instrument for us to learn and use for our year-end. I wanted to pick the piano, because I know how to play, but I wanted to explore another instrument, so I picked the next best thing: the guitar. That way, I can also sing on stage.

Speaking of stage performances, I've been feeling thankful to be with the small group, which hasn't been named yet, but Doyoung says they'll work on it soon.

We've started practicing for the talent showcase since last week, with Doyoung, Taeil, and I coming up with both original songs and song covers to prepare. I was also hoping my choice of guitar as instrument would help me with my preparations.

For me, it started out somewhat awkward mostly because of Taeyong's presence, but he had been preoccupied on his dance routine with Ten, and I had been preoccupied with Doyoung as well, so thankfully I didn't have to deal with that.

Speaking of Ten, I noticed within a few days that he had something for Taeyong. Could it be that he was smitten with the other? Looking at their dance routine, it wasn't hard to figure out that Ten did feel something for Taeyong, like he was using his movements to express how he felt for the other. Taeyong was lonely, and I believe that Ten could fill that empty space that I won't be able to.

During our meeting today, I presented two songs that I would want to sing during the showcase. Since I could only sing one, in consideration of the other members, I presented them both, Jung Seung Hwan's "If It Is You" and Paramore's "The Only Exception". Obviously, one of them was about Taeyong, and the other was about Doyoung.

I pull out the guitar and only play the parts that I know. Standing on that mini-stage inside the classroom, looking at Taeyong before I play so he gets the message, I start to strum the first chords from the chorus of "If It Is You".

Why is it so hard for you?
To properly see me trying?

I get shocked to see
How much I can hurt because of you
My days are a struggle
Even my dreams are painful

It if was you, how would it be?
If these crazy days
Became yours?

If you break down as much as me
Will you know?