He heard somewhere that a man shouldn’t say “I love you” so blatantly. That sounded oddly inspiring, and Wonshik followed it until he finally chose the path of being an idol. The word “love” slipped out from his mouth so easily, so often, like it didn’t matter at all. And it didn’t matter, really, because he knew his own way of expressing his love that didn’t need any words.

For him, his love was to annoy the person he loved often enough until he lowered his guard and laughed. It’s clinging so close to him until he got smacked, but it’s okay since it’s only a playful one and he could always laugh it off. Or sometimes, staying up to help him practicing a particular part of the choreography over and over again until they’re both got yelled at and forced to get some sleep. His love also appeared in the same tears they shared in joy and in sadness. But sometimes it came in form of scolding, reminding him to take better care of his health.

Sometimes he would regress to saying cheesy things to the other, showering him with praises and encouragement until he blushed from head to toe. Still, he didn’t have to say the word “love”. He preferred “Have you had lunch yet?” and “We’ll buy that if we have leftover money in our fund” and “Do you want to collaborate with me?” much better. Rather than flowers and chocolates he received as birthday gift doubling as Valentine’s gift, the way the other man smiled so widely his eyes became half-moon, and sometimes wheezing with laughter, or even until dropping down to the floor, was a whole lot sweeter.

The matter of whether his feelings were mutual or not didn’t really bother him. As long as he was happy, like showing off the diamond bracelet that matched with his own right after Wonshik handed it to him out of the blue, or hitting him wholeheartedly with the toy hammer, he was content.

There were times when he was worried if he showed too much of his love through the lyrics he wrote, since he was still too nervous and not yet ready for the other man to discover his true feelings. But he knew he probably pushed it too far when he was asked to fill in the rap lyrics on his own. He just couldn’t help it, writing down how the word ‘love’ couldn’t express them, or at the very least how he felt about the other man.

Still, as usual, he only smiled and nodded, seeming to be completely oblivious towards Wonshik’s affection. Although the reaction was pretty much plain, he didn’t complain. It’s good enough. Just being by his side, singing and dancing along with him, laughing and teasing each other, was enough.

“I never dislike the rap Ravi made.”

There were twinkles in his eyes, as blinding as the curve of his pink lips. It took Wonshik a second, a minute, a whole hour to let it sank in, proceeded, and accepted. But only when there were only the two of them left awake in the dorm, standing at the corner of the kitchen as they looked for some late night refreshment, Wonshik heard the older man spoke openly.

“I even boldly put so many ‘love’ in the song I wrote, but you can’t even take a hint,” he sighed. “I didn’t write it halfway only for you to fill in the blanks. Idiot.”

Wonshik blinked once, twice, and the other man only rolled his eyes and walked away with banana milk in his hand.

“Hyung, you—”

“You make me sing about how you can have all of me. Isn’t that what you want?”

Using his own lyrics against him was totally unpredictable and unfair. Those sparkling eyes and playful smile were also unfair. But the most unfair thing was the way he spoke with that soft voice of his, “Just be mine, please, bae.”

That was all.