Kyungsoo lays in his bed with his eyes wide open. A scented candle is lit to ease his nerves and he listens to the sound of the analog clock ticking quietly within his bedroom. The grandfather clock in their living room chimes loudly when midnight hits and at the same time Kyungsoo’s phone begins vibrating beneath his pillow. He can’t hold back the sigh as he reaches for it, sliding left before placing it against his ear.

“Meet me at the end of the block,” Kyungsoo doesn’t even have a chance to reply before the line is cut. He moves like a machine as he blows out the candle. He gets out of bed and heads towards his desk to grab the hoodie hanging on his chair. He looks down at his attire, a white t shirt and gym shorts. There wasn’t anything special about it, then again Kyungsoo had stopped trying to impress him a long time ago. 

After shrugging on his hoodie and slapping on some flip flops, he stuffs his duvet with extra pillows from his closet to act like a body double for him. Then he reaches for a backpack beneath his bed and pulls out a rope ladder he’d gotten as a gift since he snuck out so often and using the front door in his old home wasn’t a smart choice. Kyungsoo opens his window and he skillfully sets up the ladder like he always does, double checking its sturdiness before he pockets his phone and heads down. 

This side of the house was covered in vines, and although they weren’t strong enough to support a human’s weight, they were the perfect cover for his ladder. That way his neighbours wouldn’t be alarmed at the ladder coming from his window unless they really looked, it was common for the neighbours to gossip after all. As soon as he’s safely on the floor he let’s go of the breath he’d been holding. He absolutely detested climbing down the damned rickety thing.

Kyungsoo pads across the grass and the dew feels odd on his toes. He turns to his right and puts on his hood before shoving his hands into his pocket and he walks down the sidewalk. After a few steps he notices that he doesn’t see a car at the end of the block, bewildered he pauses for a second but keeps walking. That is until he sees his shadow forming as headlights illuminate his back. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says simply as he looks to his right at the young man leaning out of his window, a very familiar eating grin on his lips. Jongin points to the passenger seat,

“Get in babe,” Kyungsoo resists the urge to slap that grin right off of Jongin’s face and he does as he’s told. He rounds the car and opens the door, climbing in before he slams it closed after him. Kyungsoo is immediately overwhelmed with the overbearing scent of Jongin which consists of cigarettes, cheap but classy cologne and an odd tinge of strawberry sweets. Kyungsoo rests his head against the seat and he closes his eyes.

“Where to?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo wonders if there’s a hint of nervousness in his tone? Usually Kyungsoo was never nearly this cold to Jongin. Often smiling and full of excitement when his boyfriend met up with him. However, it's been two weeks. Two weeks since Jongin had even bothered acknowledging him. When he didn’t see him around the school, he’d been suspicious and after listening to people talk, Kyungsoo had learned that Jongin was out of town visiting his grandparents.

“Anywhere you want to take me,” Kyungsoo answers nonchalantly. He expects Jongin to start driving recklessly since that’s how he usually is but to his surprise he feels a hot breath over his lips. Kyungsoo tries not to appear affected but he can’t help his sharp intake of breath as Jongin pulls his seatbelt on. As soon as Kyungsoo hears a click, he feels soft lips against his own. Soft hands cupping his cheeks lovingly as they taste him.

“Safety comes first babe,” Jongin smiles when Kyungsoo opens his eyes and he kisses his boyfriend on the forehead before he sits back in his own seat. He places his left hand on the wheel and he holds the other one out, palm facing up. Kyungsoo who is still feeling the bliss from the unexpected kiss looks at his hand breathlessly before he holds it in his own, weaving their fingers together.

“You’re so unfair,” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath and Jongin laughs brightly, lifting their hands up so that he can kiss Kyungsoo on the back of his hand. Only then does he finally begin driving down the road. In a small town like theirs, the roads were clear at night. In a small town likes theirs, it wasn’t hard to tell who drove what car and who had what schedule. Meaning, Kim Jongin was always a hot topic in town.

He wasn’t exactly what one would call a textbook definition of a bad boy, but in their small town anyone who wasn’t like the others was easily branded as not to be reckoned with. If only they knew how all of the teenagers in town were just like Jongin. But unlike them Jongin wasn’t afraid to express himself with his silver locks and piercings. He also had a number of tattoos that were only visible to the select few who were lucky enough to see him .

To everyone else Kim Jongin was dangerous and a bad influence with his drinking and smoking habits. But to Kyungsoo he was a spark. They’d met at one of the parties being held without the adults knowing, Kyungsoo had been ditched by his friends since he didn’t want to drink with them and he spent his time sitting at the edge pool, with his feet moving back and forth in the water. He’d been minding his own business when suddenly Jongin emerged from within the pool in all of his glory.

Kyungsoo had seen him around the school but never up close, his friends and parents alike telling him he should stay away. Yet when Jongin slicked his hair back and met his eyes, he couldn’t look away. That lead to a quiet introduction of names and honestly Kyungsoo couldn’t remember much of that night considering moments later Jongin pulled him into the pool and kissed him under the water.

In a small town like theirs, homophobia was more than prevalent. Times were moving slowly in their town and acceptance was something that had yet to come. Which meant that Jongin and Kyungsoo danced around each other during the day, indulging in their desires behind closed doors within the shadows and at night when the town was asleep. Kyungsoo liked to think that it was enough, but it was never enough, he could never have his fill of Jongin.

“Kyungsoo, we’re here,” Jongin’s voice carries him away from his memories and when Kyungsoo looks out the window he sees mostly darkness, aside from the streetlights. Before he can ask where they were, Jongin looks at him as though wordlessly asking for trust before he gets out of the car. Kyungsoo follows and he feels grass beneath his thin flip flops. He looks around, lost for a moment but Jongin is by his side in a second, holding his hand to guide him.

Things are quiet as they pass through what seems to be a bush of sorts. Kyungsoo tries to jog his memory of spots like this in their town but he’s too focused on trying not to fall. After what feels like a millenium of walking in the dark they reach a clearing and initially, Kyungsoo is positively awestruck. Jongin lets go of his hand to let him walk forward and he looks around in wonder.

What seemed to be a bush or a mini forest lead to a pond, the clear water was glowing due to the moonlight above and it was full of lily pads and the sound of crickets filled the empty air. There was a fallen tree trunk laying in the pond and it looked so grand. It looked like he was in some kind of set for a fantasy movie, he had no idea such a place existed so close by. As he was lost in the magic of the pond, he felt two arms wrap around his waist, holding him from behind.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Jongin whispers into his ear and Kyungsoo can’t find his words. He hums in agreement and leans back, enjoying Jongin’s warmth. They stand there quietly, listening to the sound of each other’s breaths mingling with the melody of the crickets. Jongin then begins placing soft kisses along Kyungsoo’s ear and his cheek, a smile bubbling on his lips and he tightens his hold on his boyfriend’s waist.

“Come with me babe,” Jongin pulls away and he walks almost giddily in front of Kyungsoo, walking towards the edge of the pond before he makes a leap onto the trunk. Kyungsoo watches in complete horror when Jongin teeters to find his balance and he sighs in relief when no harm is done. Jongin turns back to him, eyes bright and youthful before he holds out his hand. Kyungsoo approaches but makes no move to actually join him.

“Is it sturdy enough for both of us?” Kyungsoo asks and for some reason his voice is quiet, almost self conscious to speak in all of the beauty around them. Jongin raises an eyebrow and makes a point to stomp almost too roughly which rips an unwanted squeal from Kyungsoo’s throat. He frowns at Jongin’s amusement and once again, he stares at the hand being held out to him.

“Trust me,” those words hit deeper than Jongin would ever know. Because even though Kyungsoo wished he couldn’t, he did. He trusted Jongin so much. He trusted Jongin with his heart and his secrets. And it was so damn foolish of him. He was giving his trust to someone who was never there. Someone who rarely answered his text messages. Someone who didn’t look at him unless it was just them two. 

Yet, this person also had the power to shake his world whenever he did message back. Whenever he was there. All of his smiles and dimples, his golden skin and his head strong personality. Maybe Kyungsoo was selfish? Jongin was so far away, he was the personification of the sun, yet Kyungsoo was that of the moon, hidden in the shadows. Hell he wasn't even that extravagant, he was a mere star. Yet he wanted to have Jongin all to himself.

But honestly, Kyungsoo would always be willing to throw himself into Jongin’s arms, even if he knew he wouldn’t be caught.

And so he reaches out, holding onto Jongin’s hand like his life depended on it as he was pulled onto the trunk which was definitely much wider than he’d been expecting. Jongin’s arm naturally wraps around his waist to stabilize him and when Kyungsoo lifts his head to look at him, he gets a wet smooch on his nose.

“See? That wasn’t so scary now was it?” Jongin asks playfully but Kyungsoo can’t find it in himself to smile. There was a heavy sense of doubt sitting in his throat, and he hated it. Their hands meet once more and Jongin carefully leads them to the middle of the pond, he sits down first and helps Kyungsoo sit down as well. They sit close, their thighs touching as their legs dangle over the pond. Kyungsoo’s toes are clenched since he fears that he’ll lose a flip flop.

Jongin reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants and he pulls out a pack of cigarettes along with his lighter, it was the same zippo lighter that Kyungsoo had gifted him months ago. It was a matte blue with the small design of a polar bear on it, it’s nose touching one of the many snowflakes strewn across the lighter. Kyungsoo was worried it was too childish but Jongin had accepted it with the brightest smile.

“You better be extra careful with the ashes,” Kyungsoo warns and Jongin is already one step ahead of him, pulling out a small portable ashtray before he pockets it again. He lights up the cigarette and places it between his lips as he puts away the pack and lighter. If there was one thing Kyungsoo didn’t understand about Jongin, it was his smoking habit. He had no idea how deep it ran or whether it was an addiction or not. 

He only knew that Jongin smoked. He didn’t know why, or why he started. He just knew that he did. Kyungsoo must’ve been staring for quite some time because two puffs later, Jongin is kissing him. The mouthful of smoke he receives should be something he’s used to but he really isn’t, however he’s thankful it doesn’t cause him to cough up a lung. Kyungsoo reaches upward and gently tangles his fingers in those silver locks, knowing how much Jongin likes it.

Their tongues dance as they kiss hungrily, both deprived of each other’s affection. Kyungsoo almost whimpers into Jongin’s mouth as he’s easily dominated, his body being pushed back but he’d rather not lean against bark so he moves forward. Once their tongues meet, Kyungsoo feels the sudden urge to cry. He didn’t realize how much he missed Jongin. How much he missed tasting him.

Beneath the bitter tobacco was a tinge of sweetness, one that made Kyungsoo smile. If there was one thing Jongin did other than smoke it was eat strawberry sweets. He always had a handful in his pocket, he had a jar in his car, in his locker, he took them everywhere. It was the first thing Jongin had given him when they first met. He’d asked if he wanted a sweet to cheer him up. Kyungsoo suddenly feels overwhelmed with emotions and he pulls away keeping his eyes low.

Jongin sits back and he continues inhaling and exhaling the poison from his cigarette and things are silent once more. Kyungsoo couldn’t remember the last time they had a proper conversation. Have they ever had a proper conversation? Kyungsoo shakes his head unconsciously and he takes a deep breath, coughing when he inhales Jongin’s second hand. Jongin cups his cheek with concern in his eyes,

“What’s on your mind?” Jongin asks the dreaded question and Kyungsoo opens his mouth to speak only to close it once he realizes he hasn’t found his words yet. Truthfully, there’s a lot on his mind. Nothing he’d be willing to share with Jongin though. Nothing he’d be willing to share with anyone. Those thoughts were for him and him alone, it was his burden to bear. Jongin lightly thumbs his cheek,

“You’re getting lost in your thoughts again, talk to me?” In these moments Kyungsoo believes that Jongin cares about him. However, he can’t rely on him. It goes against who he is and Jongin knows this because moments later a sigh escapes from his lips and he drops his hand. Eyes narrowed as he stuffs the remnants of his cigarette into the portable ashtray. Kyungsoo lightly touches Jongin’s arm and he squeezes,

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Jongin laughs lightly and he shakes his head, he takes hold of Kyungsoo’s hand and squeezes back before he leans forward and kisses his forehead. 

“I should be sorry,” unspoken words hang in the air. But neither of them wish to speak them. Jongin then stretches and he begins fiddling with the things in his pockets before he removes his plaid button down. Kyungsoo watches for a moment as Jongin pretty much strips and only when he stands down Kyungsoo finally speak up.

“Jongin, what are you doing?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen when Jongin begins toying with the strings of his joggers. Jongin looks down at him as if it’s completely obvious what he plans to do, and he tilts his head over to the pond beneath them with his eyebrows raised,

“Wanna take a dip?” Jongin asks as if it’s not a big deal at all. Kyungsoo’s jaw drops and he looks down at the pond which definitely wasn't disgusting in any way. The water was clear enough to see the ground and it was inviting in the light of the moon. But it was Spring, and certainly not the kind of weather to casually go for a swim. Also, Kyungsoo had no idea what kinds of bugs were hiding in there, what if a fish attacked them.

“You’re thinking too much again, come on, join me?” Jongin pouts ever so slightly and he uses his messy hair and puppy eyes to his advantage. It definitely has Kyungsoo considering it which seems to please Jongin because he smiles and removes his shoes which of course don no socks. Then he pulls down his pants and boxers right in front of Kyungsoo who abruptly looks away, his cheeks burning when he hears hearty laughter.

Then Kyungsoo feels the trunk dip and a weight is lifted as Jongin hits the water. He surfaces in a matter of seconds and swims close to Kyungsoo to poke at his hanging legs. Kyungsoo frowns and he threatens to kick at him only for his flip flop to fall into the water. He watches in utter horror as it sinks and he wonders what kind of high class flip flops were these if they weren’t made of the typical foam material?

“Well are you going to get it for me?” Kyungsoo asks and he hates how when he looks into the water in search of his flip flop he can see Jongin’s lower half that’s still flawless even though it’s distorted by the rippling water. Jongin taps his chin like he’s deep in thought and he comes to a conclusion that no, he doesn’t want to get it. Which he makes very clear when he steps back and begins whistling. 

Kyungsoo mutters under his breath and he regretfully removes his other flip flop, placing it safely on top of Jongin’s clothes out of spite. He then removes his hoodie along with his t shirt before he stands and looks down at Jongin who’s thoroughly enjoying himself. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and yanks down his shorts, topping off the pile before he looks down at Jongin who has his arms held wide open.

He takes a deep breath and steps into the water, Jongin’s arms immediately catches him but he falls back and takes the opportunity to capture Kyungsoo’s lips under the water. Kyungsoo can’t help but smile into the kiss and Jongin does the same. They both surface once their breath runs out and Kyungsoo sputters as he pushes the hair out of his face, the water is pretty shallow. Standing at his chest, for Jongin it stands beneath his s.

“Just like our first kiss,” Jongin says with a giggle and Kyungsoo nods before he squats down to grab his flip flop, putting it on the trunk. Jongin catches him seconds later, pulling him back against his chest, enjoying the feeling of Kyungsoo so close to him like this. Kyungsoo leans back and he sighs happily at the soft thuds of Jongin’s heartbeat.

“You actually caught me,” Kyungsoo says aloud and Jongin frowns, unsure of what he meant. However, Kyungsoo doesn’t elaborate, his thoughts from earlier leaking into reality. Kyungsoo turns around almost too quickly and he wraps his arms around Jongin’s shoulders, pressing their fronts together so that there were no spaces between them. 

“Of course I would catch you Kyungsoo, I wouldn’t let you fall,” Jongin mumbles and he doesn’t know how to feel when Kyungsoo chuckles lightly as if he told some kind of joke. Kyungsoo laughter slowly becomes sniffles and he shakes his head, holding onto Jongin tighter as he hides his face the crook of his neck. Jongin’s heart aches as Kyungsoo cries and he holds him tighter,

“Soon Kyungsoo, soon we’ll be able to love under the sun, soon I’ll be able to tell the world you’re mine,” Jongin promises and Kyungsoo can only nod, even though he knows it’s a lie.

-------------------------------

A/N

I was definitely in a mood LOL

Lemme know if you want more of this universe, honestly if there's interest I'm all for writing a prequel as well as a sequel

I'll probably write those anyways since I already have them planned LOL

Thank you for taking the time to read this weirdness aha

- Airi