New Story

His Boxy Smile

Hello Everyone!! 

Please check out my newest story!!!  It's based on all of the music videos in the BU (BTS Universe).  You know, like I Need U, Run, Blood Sweat Tears, Euphoria, etc.  Please take a look.

 

Wings:  Love Yourself  (Based on the Wings Trilogy)

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1314156/

 

~~~~  Story ~~~~

Life has never been perfect... well maybe except for Jin's. He was always handed everything in a silver-spoon. He has a family, money, and an education, something that none of his friends were given the fortune of having in a bundle. His friends were a "bunch of misfits," and were "a bunch of lowlife, peasants bound to end up in jail," according to his family.  Yet for some reason he became friends with them and could identify more with them than his own family, who he hardly ever saw due to their jobs.  They provided him with laughter, warmth, and care, while he provided them with his wisdom and loyalty… Yet this wasn’t enough.  Behind each one of their smiles, hid the pain and suffering of the dark realities of life; most of which Jin could never dream of happening to himself or anyone he knew.

 

V would always come home to find his father drunk and beating on his sister.  He would try and intervene, but there was no escape.  How many times had he gone to the hospital with bruises and broken bones?  How many more times would he have to cover his cowering sister?  When would it end?  It will never end, and V hated it.

 

Jungkook couldn’t help but stare at Suga.  Suga was perfect.  He was smart, musically talented, and always took care of him.  Suga, on the other hand, found that Jungkook was always following him around like a cute and naïve puppy.  They would always cuddle and write songs together.  They loved each other, yet why was it so hard to stop arguing recently?

 

Jimin had visited J-Hope in the hospital numerous times, but this was the first time he saw his hyung tied up to a bed.  Once again J-Hope had tried to commit suicide, and once again Jimin had failed to stop him.  It hurt like hell to see J-Hope in pain.  Jimin had spent numerous hours, days, weeks, months, and years, every moment he could remember, trying to get J-Hope out of his depression.  Why wasn’t J-Hope getting better?  What could he do to make his hyung stop trying to end his own life?  Jimin was at wits end, trying to help J-Hope.  The bright light that he always saw at the end of the tunnel was starting to fade.

 

~~~~  Character Profiles  ~~~~~

Jin / Seokjin (25) – The oldest of the group, and the only one who seems to be going down the right path in life.  Having everything handed down to him with a silver-spoon, he tries to be the moral compass and tries to prevent his friends from going down the wrong path, but starts to feel lost himself once he realizes that he can’t save his friends from traveling down the paths they’ve chosen in life.

V / Taehyung (22) – Close friends with RM, V comes from a broken household that consists of his sister and his father, who is a violent drunk.  Initially looking for an outlet to free himself from his father, he eventually finds himself down a criminal path that he may never be able to redeem himself from.

Suga / Yoongi (24) – Jungkook’s boyfriend, who dreams of making it big in the music industry.  At first glance he's foul mouthed and scary, but looks can be decieving.  He loves Jungkook and would do anything for him, but being with Jungkook is painful and hurts so much.

Jungkook (20) – Suga’s boyfriend and a talented musician. All he wants to do is fall in love and stay with the love of his life; but it seems like love isn’t always full of bliss, especially when your significant other is a man.

Jimin (22) – Always the mood maker of the group, Jimin is always smiling, optimistic, and willing to give a helping hand. He tries to help J-Hope deal with his depression, but slowly finds that sometimes a smile can’t save a person from their inner demons.

J-Hope / Hoseok (23) – After being abandoned by his mother, J-Hope has always lived in the dark.  Suffering from depression, all he wants to do is experience the bright world around just like everyone else, but can’t seem to find it..

RM / RapMonster / Namjoon (23) – V's friend and petty drug dealer, who often finds himself running errands for the local gangs in the area.  He takes V under his wings after he has nowhere to go, but discovers there might be more to life than just running around doing errands for people that don’t care for you.

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Comments

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taetaeggukkie
48 streak #1
Chapter 1: Sooo cutee wow
charlislekim
#2
AHHAHAHA I knew it was Taehyung when I read the title :))
taempteng
#3
Chapter 1: Ahh, too sweet, my teeth! Too bright, my eyes! *covers eyes*

I think the story is okay. :D The last part of the story is kinda out of nowhere though, and the part where Taehyung should be going to the infirmary just kinda disappeared. I think it would be nice (and kinda funny, in my opinion) if one of them suddenly mentions about the infirmary, at least then we know that they didn’t just stay in the hallway and kissed all day.
There were also a few grammar and spelling errors, but nothing big so it’s okay.

Other than that, this is a nice read, me likey! <3
EmptyTinkerbell
#4
Chapter 1: Aw, so cute! I love such theme for fanfiction; the 'opposites-attract' idea ^3^ Jungkook crushing on nerdy Taehyung was so freaking adorable! And Tae reciprocated his feelings! DFSdshgdsjd How nice :3 Thank you for this story ^^
upgrader
#5
Chapter 1: This was really cute! There were some grammatical errors but it wasn't really distracting, especially because I understand it was written in under a week. I did think that the beginning was a little heavier than the ending, which had shorter sentences and less dense paragraphs. Even though the plot itself wasn't rushed necessarily, the less dense sentence structure can give that feeling to a reader. But that's just something random to take note of, since I think it tends to help with better flow. Overall, you did a great job and I can't wait to see what you write next prompt!!
Grackie
#6
Chapter 1: hdufiahdsfuiadfhd
yes, so cute <3
of course, there's always room for improvement. I think that the flow of your story was a little hard to find, as it seemed very blunt, and the sentences did not run as smoothly as I would've liked. still really good!
WinterCeeli
#7
Chapter 1: This was so adorable..
lefemui
11 streak #8
Chapter 1: Oooo, Tae Take a nerdy student... I am trying imagine. Jungkook is really bold. So cute.

I am not good at commenting at ones writing style since I am not a good writer myself. But I just find that words keep repeating in first paragraph... Not that it's bad.. Just my opinions. But the story is good. Well my second Vkook story that I read.
amusingmurdermachine
#9
-You've expressed a light romance nicely through your writing style but there's always room for improvement :)
-For example, I think the use of the words "waiting" (first sentence) and "specific" (second sentence) were redundant, so watch out for stuff like that.
-I think I felt my heart flutter when JK took Tae out of the classroom omg. So yeah I liked that scene :)

Keep writing ^^
OnceUponAnEXO
18 streak #10
Chapter 1: This is super cute!!! \(♥ヮ♥)/ I like that you did it in the perspective of the popular kid crushing on the nerd instead of the other way around like most authors do. It was a very nice touch!!!!

One tip I have is to maybe edit a bit more for typing errors. There are quite a few, especially near the end, which kinda pulled me out of the story a bit (if you don't have a beta to help with that, then you could always use Grammarly. It has a free version that works really well) There were also a few sentences that I felt like could have been broken up or simplified and it would have made the flow of reading a little better, but that's something that gets better naturally the more you write (⌒ヮ⌒)b