I look up my wall, inside a glass cabinet, I see four medals that I’ll always be proud of. It’s value more than all my awards for music combined. These medals mark the years that passed without a single drop of alcohol in my system. I smiled as I remember how taxing it was to get each sobriety coin. I felt crazy as each day passed. I experienced multiple relapses. I felt helpless. There were times when I just wanted to end everything. I wanted give up on life. I can’t even explain how hard it was. But they never gave up on me. Dr. Jung was the most patient doctor I’ve ever met. The boys were all so understanding. They almost gave up drinking as well — just to support me! My family was my pillar. They never left me. Everyday, they’d call. Every week, they’d visit. They didn’t waver, even when I relapsed a couple of times. But above all, there’s one person who stood strong for me. She was my angel. She’s the reason why I got my first medal after a year. I swear, the moment I held that medal in my hand, everything followed. I started writing songs again. I was a crazy song writing machine. I think I wrote songs good for almost 10 albums. And up until now, it didn’t stop. Ideas, melodies, words — they flood my heart and my soul.

The next medallion I got was the most memorable of all. That year, I received two miracles. A Miracle that up until now, I am still in awe. It was the year that I felt alive again.

My third coin came with the opening of my third art exhibit in Seoul. If you asked me 3 years ago, I’d laugh at your face If you’d ask me to make art again. After my break up with her, I never touched anything that has something to do with art. I wanted to live a monotonous life. No color. No art. Nothing to make me feel life. Because I was afraid that once I see canvases filled with color, I’d forget the pain that I knew I deserved to feel. But it all changed. I was now a canvas filled with the brightest technicolor you’d ever see.

After a year, I received two golds. One, displayed with the other medals on my c