Yes. Compliments. It's something I crave for. Something that makes me feel reassured. I know that most people would say almost immediately that it's fake. Not true. And all that stuff. But..I think...no. I know. Since a younger child, I've been verbally bullied almost everyday. Not that I'm complaining, but I grew self-conscious. Scared that I'd never be enough. And hearing those comforting words for the first time made me feel enough. Even for that split second. I wanted it. I still want it. 

I know it's bad that I'm achieve stuff for others or to be noticed. I should more confident and proud of myself for what I've done with all the time spent just for stuff I work on. Because I know that I worked hard, so why should I care what others think, right?

And if I didn't do a good job, then I definitely should not be proud and should work harder. I'd know that I didn't do a good job and should ignored the fact that I didn't fulfil my duty. 

That would be wrong of me. To just assume that everything would be alright if I ignore my weakness and cover up flaws and guilt for the compliments when I know I could have done more. I would just negatively effect me. 

What I could do about it:

Base progress not on how many people compliment me, but by the real score Push myself to the limit of everything I do Record every achievement and failure and watch myself grow