“I’m home!!” Sunggyu shouted at the door followed by the loud shutting door sound. When I turned around thought to leave the kitchen, he was already there, stood by the fridge smiling to me.

“You’re early!” I sounded cheerful, of course, and that made Sunggyu smiled brightly.

“Can’t wait to see you...” Sunggyu spoke while came closer to me but I didn’t buy it and shook my head, “Should I thank those dogs?” Didn't deny, he just smiled and leaned in for a deep kiss. When we finally broke away, I couldn’t hold my chuckle, he caught it and threw me a “What?” gaze.  

“You......” I really didn’t want to annoy him, seeing how exhausted he was to deal with the shooting. As if he could read my mind, he sniffed his clothes straight away followed with a helpless sigh, “Sorry...” Quickly, I shook my head and stood up tip-toe to peck his lips, “A shower will do, no big deal...” I looked in his eyes and see his soften grateful gaze, “You’re right, time for shower.” “Well... I’m always right...” Smilingly, I rose my tone a little higher and he caught it too, but he decided to ignore my tease and headed to the bathroom. 

Sunggyu didn’t like the idea of me having my own unit on different floor instead of moving in to his house. He couldn’t understand why I need my own place as “my nestle”. He was very grumpy to it until very recently when he had to shoot for a TV show at his house and the crew had to set up cameras at all corners in the house too. We had to clear out all my things and rearrange some furnitures setting as if he was staying alone. Luckily I didn’t have much things in his house and luckily, I have my own place to keep all the should-not-be-seen-by-the-public things.

The situation become worse when his cast member brought two dogs to his house and stayed overnight for the program shooting. Imagine a person who afraid of furry animals and hated unhygienic, it was almost a nightmare to Sunggyu. It seemed hilarious to see his reactions in the show but he was really frustrated and hated it very much. He had loads to deal with and I must praise him for everything he had done to overcome for the shooting.

Since then, my place had become his little paradise, as if his little breakaway whenever they got a few off-camera days. They were free to go anywhere instead of staying in his house. Just like today, he rushed to my place right after the shooting ended, and they will continue again 2 days later.

Sunggyu washed off from head to toes and changed a new set of clothings, felt very refreshing with his favourite shampoo and the lotion’s smell. As usual, he wanted me to blow dry his hair and when it become fully dry, we had dinner together: pieces of chicken in very light seasoning, some raw cucumbers and carrots in cubes. I had no complain for the food but he felt guilty as I had to eat the same food with him. 

“You don’t have to diet with me.” He kept reminding me whenever we had meals together. “But I don’t want to look fatter than you...” I told him honestly but he insisted, “I like it the way you are, I don’t want you to be too skinny, that’s not healthy.” I looked at the meal I prepared “This is actually healthy diet and I really don’t mind to have healthy diet with you.” I took some chicken to his plate, “I promise I’ll cook you some tasty food when everything was over... and now... let’s finish it before the night fall.” Knowing he couldn’t change my mind, he dropped the topic and finished the tasteless but low calories meal with me. 

Later, we went to the couch and watched some dramas. I sat on the couch while Sunggyu lied fully on the couch, he held one of my tights as his pillow and held one of my hands firmly to his chest, happily. He had been quite clingy these days which I wasn’t sure of the reason, but he didn’t look anxious or depressed so I didn’t bring it up, just enjoyed the closeness we hardly had. 

After a short while, I noticed Sunggyu wasn’t moving or laughing even during the funny scenes. Tried hard not to move my thighs and my hand, I slowly leaned in closer to check on him, and he had fallen asleep! This was the first time, he must had felt very tired and exhausted for the shooting. Felt very bad for him. Slowly and carefully, I reached out for the TV controller which was at the coffee table beside me and turned off the TV. Then, I returned to look at the sleeping Sunggyu. 

He had been very very busy since months ago, group and individual activities, but he didn’t complain, just endured the business and spent the limited hours with me whenever he could. I’m glad my tights were cozy enough for him to fall asleep, I lied on my back tried to rest like Sunggyu but my mind wouldn’t keep me in peace. The conversation I had with Jung Yeop kept running through my mind and shouted loud and clear in my ears. 

...a while ago in the office...

“Are you serious?” Jung Yeop sounded anxious. I looked into his eyes and nodded sternly, and he sighed. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t, instead, he sighed again desperately and looked away. 

“I thought you like him, and you know he can be trusted.” I wasn’t angry, I just didn’t understand. He turned to me and said as instant, “Of course I like him, he’s very good in many ways.” “Then? What’s your problem?” I looked at Jung Yeop and urged for an answer. 

“He’s not good for you, he doesn’t suits you.” He answered firmly. “Seriously?” I rose my voice because I really couldn’t believe what I just heard. “Listen to me...” Jung Yeop came closer and held my shoulders, “I know our culture, what are those most important and couldn’t be ignored. I don’t want you to live in suffer with regret... I want you to live happily which you deserve.” “And you think I’ll be happy if I’m with Kenny?” I sounded sarcastic but he didn’t feel offended and continued, “You both have quite similar culture, he’s quite open minded to some conditions just like you, I’m sure you both can blend in very well if you try. I know he’s a divorcee but he has his own children and they’re all adult now.” 

I looked at him and felt ridiculous, his gaze turned soft and said again, “Lily, you’re ageing and we know what this means to a woman, you might not get pregnant easily. With Kenny, you won’t have the burden, but if you choose to be with Sunggyu, you might not receive blessing from his family especially his mother. He is the only son in his family, you cannot change that. And I know our culture, continue the family lineage is very important.”

This fact had run through my mind for the thousands times and I really couldn’t disagree with him, I could only look at him speechlessly. “Lily, I still remember how broken were you in the past. You were... misery and lifeless. You took quite some years to come back to life and live normally... I know the boys gave you much positive effect so I never regret to bring you to work with us, and now, I really don’t want you to get hurt again.” He sounded sincerely. 

“Why did you safe me? Why you took me back and brought me to Woollim?” I’ve always wanted to ask Jung Yeop, at first I was numb and didn’t bother to ask, later, like he said, I managed to back to life and live normally, so I didn’t want to touch on that heartbreaking piece again. But today since he started, I really want to find out why did he safe me and took care of me like his own little sister. 

Didn’t expect my questions, Jung Yeop took aback and turned to look out of the window, he thought for a while before he started to speak again, “I’ve never told anyone... and promise me that you won’t laugh...” He spoke shyly which surprised me so much! “Okay, I promise...” He sighed again then turned to face me, “The business wasn’t good before I met you, in fact, I couldn’t make money and almost went broke. So a friend suggested me to a fortune teller... don’t laugh, I was very desperate, it was about to continue or to end the business. And then, the fortune teller said I’ll met a person who would bring me good luck to my career, a person who could change my life.” 

“So... I’m that person he meant?? Seriously???” I think I looked funny and Jung Yeop laughed, “I met you twice at difference places and you helped me a lot in both times, so I believed it was you.” I must looked very confusing so he explained, “Remember the first time we met in a convenient store? I walked out from the store and forgot to pay for the cigarette, the staff called me back but I forgot my wallet too. I was too troubled with my financial problems, my life was messed up, and I forgot my wallet when I went out. The staff thought I was a thief and wanted to call for police, you were there and help me pay the bill, but you left the store before I could go out so I couldn’t find you. Second time was in a taxi, we got in the taxi almost the same time but most people wouldn’t want to share the drive, but you didn’t mind and willing to dropped me first. I was going to meet an important person for the business, if I was late the opportunity would be gone and we won’t be able to see Woollim label until today.”

I could only remember the taxi incident because that was the time he returned me the cigarette money and asked for my contact number. After that on the same night, he called me and asked me out for dinner, then he offered me to work in Woollim. Suddenly I felt annoyed, “So, you have been using me for your good luck? All the caring was not real? Just to help your career and bring you good luck??” 

Panic, Jung Yeop quickly explained, “Cool down, please... At first I didn’t think much, my business was terrible with horrible financial problems, all I care was my business and if I could get better luck just follow what the fortune teller told me, why not? I mean, I didn’t hurt you did I? I helped you instead, so it didn’t make me look as a bad guy did I??” Okay, that made sense. “Later on, my business become better, we all worked well together, you and I, the staffs and the boys... I swear I don’t use you, we just getting closer, like family.” 

Then, he looked in my eyes and continued, “And... I’m really truly thankful to how you’ve helped me in my career, your existent is a huge turning point in my life, I just feel that I must treat you well, much better than anyone else in my life. Without you, I might already bankrupt... who knows...” “Don’t be silly, it was all about your hard work...” I didn’t believe to fortune teller but he cut me off, “You don’t have to believe it, I know what it does to me, that’s enough.” I sighed disbelieving, “Did the fortune teller advice you to marry me?” I was sarcastic and expected for his bombard but he looked away and sighed softly, “You were...... I was glad the boys could bring you positive energy... and you manage to live normally with us. At least you’re back to life. I just want you to be happy. That’s all.” 

He didn’t answer my question. I looked at him suddenly couldn’t catch up his pace, did I miss out something? I reached out to his arm and turned him to face me, didn’t avoid my gaze, he looked at me with his soft gaze and a mixture of something else which I never seen before, but my mind was clear, he didn’t answer my question and he skipped something that I should know. “I were numb back then... and broken, and I decided not to have any relationship again...” He nodded slowly followed with a soft sighed, “And I didn’t know you have changed your mind.” 

Unexpected, I looked at him thinking and digesting what he really meant. But it didn’t make any sense because he kept pushing me to Kenny. Before I could say something, he took the chance, “I didn’t think too much, just hope to find you someone who values you and could take good care of you. Kenny likes you very much and I know him for a long time, he’s definitely a good option who treasures you and could bring you happiness.”  “You really think I could be happy if I’m with Kenny? I don’t hate him, but you know I don’t love him, I’m not in love with him and that makes a big difference, don’t you think?” I tried to reason with him, and he didn’t object.

“Alright... no more Kenny if you really don’t like it... but, Sunggyu? You really... love him? In love with him? I mean... since when??” He looked disbelieving and waited for my answer. I suddenly felt so shy to talk about it, I just didn’t feel like talking about this with Jung Yeop. “It just... happened... don’t ask me how and when... please...” he sighed softly and smiled, “Tell me, do you happy... since you be with Sunggyu, do you really happy?” He looked into my eyes and wanted my reply, I nodded firmly and hope he would approve. “Alright... al-right...... you know my stand, I only wish you to be happy.” He spoke and patted my hair, I smiled to him thankfully and felt much relief to his respond. 

“My only concern which I’ve mentioned just now, you’re ageing... and the pregnancy... and our culture......” He sounded concern and sincere, I knew he wasn’t joking about it. I dropped my gaze and nodded because I really couldn’t disagree with him and until now I still didn’t know how to settle this issue. “If you need someone’s advice, come talk to me okay? And if Sunggyu ever bullied you, you must tell me too.” He patted my hair and spoke softly, I couldn’t be more grateful and couldn’t help myself to hug him tightly. He had always been my brother who helped me so much through my hard time, he didn’t say much, not until today, but he was always there for advice and guidance, yet he said the other way round about how I’ve helped him to bring him good luck according to that fortune teller. Ridiculous. 

Someone pressed my hand and brought me back to reality. Sunggyu had awaken and sat up right as immediately, “I’m sorry I’ve fallen asleep... for... for an hour! An hour!!  I’m so sorry!” I shook my head and smiled to him, he looked very cute when he panic and mumbling non stop. “You’re tired, I know... do you want some massage? Shoulder? Or your back?” He refused my offer, just pulled me towards him and cuddled with me on the couch. I sunk myself to him while his limps wrapped tightly around me as if securing me firmly from falling. It felt really good, we stayed quiet for a while enjoyed the limited precious moment. 

“I’m getting the script tomorrow.” I could hear Sunggyu’s excitement and I couldn’t help to smile widely too, “And the costume fitting too?” “Yep! But... I’ll be busy again...”  Now he sounded sorry and guilty. I turned around to look at him with my soft gaze as if to tell him don’t be sorry, I’ll be just fine, he just smiled and caressed my face tenderly, “The Taiwan trip and later the Hong Kong trip, you must go with me.” “Those are working trip, we won’t have much time to visit around.” I reminded him the job list but he insisted, “I don’t care, I just want you to be with me wherever I go... while we still can......” He sighed when he finished and I totally understood his sentimental. We were running out of time. 

“Do you think CEO would let me off for so many days?” I doubted and I didn’t want Sunggyu to have false hope. “I think he would... if only you ask... he never gave you any hard time, did he?” I thought about it and agreed with him, “Okay, I’ll try to ask him.” “Great!” He smiled happily and followed with a deep kiss. When we broke away, I saw his tired eyes, so I suggested to go to bed and he didn’t object, slowly sat up and headed to our bedroom. 

When we settled down on the bed, Sunggyu said calmly, “ I heard CEO had a long meeting with you this afternoon.” Oh well, someone told him about it. I couldn’t see his face in the darkness so I didn’t know if he looked anxious or angry because his voice was well composed. To sooth his nerves, I only told him the most important part, “He wanted to know what happened, and he approves.” “Just that? But it was a long meeting.” He still sounded very calm and I knew he wouldn’t let it off until I told him what he wanted to know. 

“He worries if... you’re too young... for me... and I’m ageing... he concerns about it, and... he wants to know if you ever bullied me...” Sunggyu blurted out laughter, “Me bully you? Hell no!!” His reaction was instant, but he became quiet as the ageing part and him being too young for me started to sink in. Tried to sooth him, “But he approves, that’s the most important.” I heard him sighed followed with his hug, tightly. “I’m sorry...... I wish I could stay longer with you... I wish... I would have more time with you...” He kissed my hair and inhale deeply after that. “Do you think we could make it till end of the year?” “I’m not sure, they set new rules now...” I nodded silently in his chest, felt glad of the darkness so he wouldn’t see my expression. 

“I think Amadeus should be old enough to ease CEO’s nerves.” Didn’t expect for this, I laughed out loud for his sudden humour, and he laughed with me too. “Right, Mr Amadeus, you have morning schedule tomorrow, can we sleep now?” “As your wish, ma’am.” Then, he pecked on my lips and hugged me to sleep. As always, he fell asleep within 10 minutes, while my mind was still captured in the long conversation I had with Jung Yeop......