He was tired to death from the overnight shift, he was so sure that he had ugly bags under his eyes and he knew that he smelled bad. He probably should've gone home to shower and to pick up his forgotten phone. But why would any of that matter when you've been told that you were going to get everything you've wished for?

Unable to contain his excitement, he ran the last few paces in to the all too familiar hospital. People stared at him as if he was crazy or something. But he didn't care. His mind was replaying the Doctor’s words from last week-"Kibum showed some improvement. There's hope". They said his Key was going to be fine. They really said that. He burst into a full sprint and ran straight in to Key's room...

To find it empty.

He scanned every corner for his Kibum but there was no avail. He was confused! He would never have gotten the room number wrong. He had walked in and out through those same white doors probably a million times. He could even find the room with blindfolds on.

The bed was made with pristine sheets and all of his odds and ends that had been on the bedside table were completely gone.

It certainly wasn't his birthday or any special date to celebrate, so this could not be a part of a surprise event. What was he even thinking? Maybe Key was moved to another room because he was gonna be Okay? Pure confusion overwhelmed his mind.

Someone tapped him lightly on the back and he turned to see a familiar nurse peering at him with a sympathetic expression on her face.

"You're here sir...I'm sorry for your loss. He was such a wonderful man." She said with a sob. Jonghyun couldn't comprehend what was being told to him. Loss? What loss? He was so sure, he didn't lose anything. For some reason he didn’t know, panic slowly started to arise in his nerves. What the heck was the nurse talking about?

"I beg your pardon?" He tried to be polite despite the fact that he was getting frustrated. He wanted to see his ing lover and what was this lady babbling about all of a sudden?

The nurse stared at his confused face for a few seconds and a gasp left her as she covered with her hands. "Oh No! Oh my god, you don't know yet."

"Ugh, don't know what?"

She suddenly grabbed his hand and led him down the hallway. This was outright madness.

"I think you might want to talk to the doctor, Sir."

He was quickly crossing the line from frustrated to ing angry. He wasn't someone who had much patience. Especially when it came to matters that involved his beloved boyfriend.

"Where's the patient in that room? I'll talk to the doctor later. I need to see Kibum first! Where's he?"

The nurse ignored his nonstop questioning and continued to drag him down the hallway and in to an office. She didn't stop until he was seated in front of the sombre face of Kibum's doctor. He couldn't figure out why everyone looked so depressed when they should be ing ecstatic.

"Mr. Jong-Hyun, it's with deep regret I inform you with this news. According to what the nurse told me, I assume that you didn’t receive any of the calls from the hospital"

"Yeah, I forgot my phone at home. What call though? What was it about?"

He was still confused. What was all this fuss about? And where were these people hiding Kibum?

"We called you to inform that Mr. Kibum passed away at 3:45 this morning. My condolences Sir. I'm so sorry. His condition became worse last night and we had to give him immediate treatment. Tragically, he went in to cardiac arrest during the treatment. We did our best and he also gave a big fight. But he couldn't make it."

He felt like he was suddenly underwater, someone was shouting something at him, but it sounded muffled, just bits and pieces. Nothing registered. The Doctor's words refused to penetrate his mind. What bull was that? Jonghyun laughed out loud and shook his head at the doctor once had his moment of bafflement.

"Okay, look old man, I don't know why you think this is funny cause in all honesty, this joke . You had your fun right? Haha. Now if you could please tell me where Kibum is, I'd happily be on my way, Thanks."

The doctor threw a pitiful look at him. What the was wrong with these people? It was as if he'd landed in an alternate universe in where the Doctors and nurses in hospitals kept patients hidden somewhere. Lunatics!

"I'm sure it's hard to comprehend, but there's nothing we can do anymore. Kibum's dead Mr. Jonghyun, He's not gonna come back. He's gone for real and I'm sorry."

The doctor’s eyes dilated miles wide as brown substance flew all over on the white polished wall behind him. Key's coffee. He will get him a new one.

"STOP ING SAYING SORRY AND STOP YOUR BULL! TELL-ME -WHERE-KEY-IS!"

He was standing and shaking like a leaf in the wind. The line had officially snapped. These people were ing insane!

"Sir, I'm afraid you can't behave this way. I understand your grief but--"

The paper weight that had been on the doctor's desk a minute ago missed his face by inches.

"YOU ING ! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? HUH? IS THIS FUNNY? YOU'RE GETTING A KICK OUTTA THIS? I'M ASKING YOU ONE LAST TIME! WHERE IS HE?"

The doctor hurriedly got out of his chair and tapped a few buttons on his phone. Jonghyun rounded the table, fists clenched, ready to take down the head who kept him from seeing Key. The doctor threw up his hands in defence.

"Now, now sir, please be calm. I understand you but--"

The rest of the Doc's words were cut off by Jonghyun’s hand around his throat. He lifted the doctor up to the coffee splattered wall and shook him like a ragdoll. Credits to his worked out body that his Kibum adored so much.

"WHERE IS HE?!" Jonghyun Roared.

The doctor started turning various shades of blue and purple. But it wasn't Jonghyun who loosened his grip. He'll find out where Key is or at least, die trying. Find Key Find Key, The mantra in his head kept playing nonstop.

He couldn't fathom the barrage of emotions flowing through him. He couldn't possibly understand the meaning of Kibum and Death in one sentence. True, there was a time that he knew what that meant. But then, he was taught that miracles happen now and then, and that Kibum could survive. What were they saying now? Kibum is dead? His Kibum? As if he’d buy that crap.

He felt furious for even thinking about such a thing for a single moment. With another roar that nearly shook the office, he threw the doctor on to the floor. The piece of scum started crawling away from him, choking on his own breath.

Then the door of the doctor’s office banged opened. With a slight prick on his hand, off he floated in to oblivion. His last thought was maybe at least they'll let him see his Key there.

But no. He didn't. Instead he found himself in a white room with a single bed, a chair and an old white-coat-man keeping a safe distance from him. He scanned every corner of the room, but still his Key wasn't there.
"You're awake? Mr. Jonghyun?"
Yes, he's Jonghyun! He always had been! Always Kim Kibum's fiancée! Yes that Jonghyun! Awake.

What the hell was this? Why did his head hurt? Was it Day or night? Where was Kibum?
"Where's Kibum?" -came out his first set of words after descending to earth.

Everyone seemed to be ignoring his question. Not seemed to be- they deliberately ignored. Why couldn't they just tell where Kibum was? Wasn't that easy? But no one gave him the answer he wanted to hear. No one.

He wasn't dumb. He knew something was very wrong. He had this feeling that he won't be able to see Key again but still it all seemed so unreal. He had been told that Kibum was dead over and over again, but it couldn't be possible. For heaven’s sake, how could that be? Maybe he just passed out from exhaustion and had this horrible dream. After he get down from his bed and go back to Key's room, everything will be alright. Key will welcome him with a smile like always and then throw a tantrum at him for not taking good care of himself.

"Mr. Jonghyun, I suppose you're feeling better now. Please behave yourself and follow me. I think you might need to see some-one." Finally the man in the white coat spoke, looking all dull and drained.

So he was right. He really had passed out. Now he's gonna see his Kibum. He just had some crazily bizarre imaginations. Nothing was wrong.

But that relief faded away the very second they passed the supposed-to-be Kibum's room. He shouted before the doctor could go any farther, asking him to stop. But the man shook his head and continued to walk away towards that one corridor Jonghyun always avoided.

"Follow me please"

He was panicking inside. He could feel his patience dissolve away along with his sanity. He was afraid. Hell he has never been so afraid. Not when their parents disowned them, not when they were kicked outta their houses, not when he couldn't find a job for moths. Not even when they found out about Kibum's condition. . Why that way? Why that corridor?

He didn't want to move another step forward. He didn't want to believe these things happening. He really wanted to think this was just a sick joke and burn everything to ashes. But his body acted otherwise. His feet didn't stop walking, his hands didn't stop shaking.

And the man turned to the left...

The Morgue it read.

He didn't want to be here. His mind screamed 'run run get out'. But he stood in place.

The place seemed cool. Just like any other hospital room. All white walls, white curtains, tiles and everything. Only difference… this room had refrigerators big enough to fit a man. This was the place where the ones who lost their battles laid until their beloved came and took them home for a one last time. He shouldn't be here. He really shouldn't. He had no reason to be here. Why on earth did this psychopath bring him here?

Click...clang…

and the old man pulled out a tray.

On it was a sealed plastic bag. He didn't need a special expertise to say what was inside the bag. A dead body.

Little did he expect though. He never thought he'd have to see what he saw.

The white bag was opened...and inside, was...

his Kibum.

The ground was suddenly unstable, lights went off, and the room was shrinking. The air suddenly vanished. He couldn't breathe. What was happening?

What was he supposed to do? Believe his eyes? Believe this hallucination he was seeing? This couldn't be real, could it? Could it? Nonsense.

Kibum looked very pale. Well, when did he not look pale? Being pale was a part of his Kibum's beauty. Kibum was sleeping, he must be sleeping. His eyes were closed, lips thinned in to a straight line, still stunningly beautiful. Somewhere deep down in his system, something was telling him to stop fooling himself. Without his realization, his shaky hand reached Kibum's pale face, as if to feel its presence, to see if he was really real.

Cold…

Cold...No...Freezing! No... No...No NO. This couldn't be.

“… Kibum!

Kibum!

Kibummie!"

He patted the frozen cheeks, trying to wake up his boyfriend. But no... nothing. Kibum didn't wake up. Why doesn't he wake up? Why? Why isn't he breathing? Kibum...why?

He finally realized...this was no hallucination but reality. No one was lying to him, no one was playing pranks, Kibum wasn't playing sleeping beauty. The reality was like that, Kibum was dead! His Kibum was dead. This was his lifeless body. This ing reality!

It was a matter of seconds before his world crashed in to a billion pieces. His heart felt as if it would bleed out from the pressure that was forming inside. It hurt, God it hurt. Tears sprang like the water from a broken dam as he hugged his frozen boyfriend. Inhuman wails and screams left his mouth, not that he cared. There was nothing left to care. What was the point of everything he did all these years? What was the point of anything anymore? That one man he treasured his whole life was gone. He had gone to that never-returning place without even bidding him farewells.

Time stood still there, just exactly when he didn't want it to. There was nothing left in his life. This wasn't the reality he wanted. How did things go this wrong? He was planning a perfect future with him...why was fate so cruel?

"Mr. Jonghyun..."

"No... NO! NO!!!! “He barked. He knew it was time for him to get out of that place. But how could he make himself walk away? He knew his Kibum wasn't gonna magically open his eyes and come back to life. But he didn't want to move a single step away from his Kibum. Kibum went away when he wasn't there by his side...at least now…like this...he wanted to hold his love of life a little more…just a little longer...

But they didn't understand. They never did. He screamed when someone pulled him away from Kibum. How could they be so harsh? He saw his lover's marble face hide under the plastic bag before he was dragged out like garbage. He didn't dare to fight against. He was tired, mentally, physically...every possible way one could be tired. The only thing he wished was that whoever pulled him away from Kibum would kill him and put him in the Morgue next to his Kibum. Maybe that way they he could hold on to his love a little more.

But his wishes never came true. They only slumped him down on a hospital chair where he cried and cried his eyes out, missing his Boyfriend... blaming and cursing himself.

After what seemed like eternity his tears finally stopped falling. Not that he was done crying. Just his glands ran out. He looked as if his eyes were gonna pop out any second, swollen, and reddened. His clothes dirty, his hair all horrible, body moving ever so slowly, his hollow mind echoing just one name… Kibum Kibum.

“Jonghyun..."

A warm hand touched his shoulder. Kibum-- the first thought that came to his head. He smiled and turned expecting to see his Kibum...only to drop to the floor and start crying again.

"Jonghyun... don't cry.” It was Kibum's nurse, their friend. Kibum's friend.

“He must be in a better place now Jonghyun. Don't cry"

Better place? Oh this lady sounds hilarious. Is she outta her mind? What's the better place other than beside me?

“He belonged with me Irene!!! With me! Kibum...Ki.b..” He was helped on to the chair by the kind nurse.

"He left me! he...he left...he promised me he won't ever leave me..Why? Wh..y? He- he didn't even wait for me... Why? Why did he..?" He knew how pitiful he was. He needed Kibum. Kibum promised that he'd be beside him till the forever ends. But now, who was beside him? A nurse? Not Kibum, but his nurse?

"He tried Jonghyun. He really did. Trust me, he didn't just give up. He fought to the maximum he could. He loved you so much. He had faith in you. He didn't want you to be like this Jonghyun."

"What? How did he want me to be without him? What am I...supposed to do now...?” More tears, more tears...where did they come from?

3507. weeks ago...we were talking and… Kibum asked me to give you this if he- if something happens to him" A cloud of confusion gathered above Jonghyun's messed head as she handed him a small box that looked so Kibum-like.

This box? Kibum wanted him to have a box? Why?

“Jonghyun... he wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to move on..."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

That evening he went home. The same way he did every day. The home was empty as usual. Another bill was waiting at the doorstep, just the usual. His living was untidy, as usual. He was alone at home, as usual.

But this day was different...this loneliness...this emptiness...was gonna stay forever. The haunting realization of the loss of his beloved...that, no one was going to erase his loneliness.

Jonghyun let his feet drag his body to their bedroom. He tripped and hit his head on the stairs, but it didn't hurt. In his heart was more pain, so much pain that he didn't even feel the blood dripping from his forehead. His vision was blurring yet his wavering feet found its way to his bed. Some distant voice in his head told him to rest but how? How could he rest? He needed to sort out his thoughts. He needed to find something to hold on to...something that would keep him alive... Kibum...it was Kibum who kept him going on. Whenever things went downhill, he had his Kibum to lift him up. But now...now what? He still didn't want to believe that Kibum was gone. It was strange. He never thought a day like this would come. Whenever someone mentioned about the slim chances his Kibum had, he just ignored and turned a deaf ear to them. He believed Kibum would always be by him. But Kibum didn't... he just left, just like that.

He wanted to be mad at Kibum. To blame him, to curse him... But what was the use? Kibum couldn’t hear him, nor see him.

He wanted to hate Kibum. But each and every time he tried to hate him, he ended up loving the dead boy even more. With his a hand clenched on his chest, he opened the small box the nurse gave him. Inside he found another box, and what looked like a letter-

Kibum...The box…And his belongings...that were what mattered. He opened the bag...Kibum's fashionable clothes...his jacket...his beanie...his precious beauty cream...his pills... his notebook...their photo...and his ring...

The well of tears over flowed again, and again. And again. The pain didn’t lessen even a bit. He hugged Kibum's clothes, as if they could soothe him. He expected them to have Kibum's scent lingering on them...but, he was wrong again. It only gave away the stench of hospitals sending his innocent hopes down the drain...

Jonghyun was outta breath from his nonstop crying. He quickly wiped his hands on his pants, noticing that he had stained the letter with his snot. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to the precious gift.

He unwrapped the small box with his shaky fingers, eager to see the locket his Kibum presented him. Inside the box he found an openable box locket with a blue diamond on its face… ‘Beautiful’, he thought. His curios heart didn’t stop him from opening the locket although he knew he was gonna miss the boy an awful lot more once he do so.

A chuckle escaped his lips as he saw the two small pictures his Kibum had put in. Jonghyun was sleeping on the couch half , a fine trickle of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. On the other side was none other than his beloved boyfriend with an almighty pose, photo shot in a perfect angle. Oh how much he loved his Kibum… Why did he have to die?

The dreams he built up… the future he looked forward in to…

It all shattered.

He was a broken man. He badly wanted to kill himself. But he couldn’t do that. Kibum didn’t want him to take such a stupid decision. Life was something Kibum fought for. He didn’t want to disappoint his love by brutally murdering his own precious life.

He pushed those stupid suicidal thoughts aside and curled in to a ball on his cold bed. He had to start from the bottom but… why should he? He had no purpose in his life. He didn’t know that he was this weak. Kibum was his only strength. Now that his strength was gone… he didn’t want to stand up again. He made up his mind. He’d live… for the sake of living… he’d forever love…only his Kibum. His head was aching terribly and he finally felt the drying liquid on his forehead. He wasn’t the slightest bothered. He just closed his abused eyes and hugged Kibum’s belongings wishing he’d wake up in the morning with his Kibum back in the hospital-full of life. He wished those stressful events of the day would turn out to be just a scary dream he saw in his deep sleep.

Unfortunately for Jonghyun… he just woke up two days later… only to attend his Boyfriend’s funeral.

A/N: Hello my lovely reader!! Liked it? LOL It was so hard to write this chap. kept getting emotional all the time Haha . Ignore mistakes hehe. Lv u♥