Wonwoo is avoiding Soonyoung.

He has been all day, which is an incredible feat considering that they go to the same goddamn university. And yeah, you could argue that it’s because they have different declared majors and no longer share any classes now that they’re juniors, but they do share a dorm and eat lunch together with their friend group every single day, which makes his efforts even more impressive.

Their schedules don’t match up in mornings so Soonyoung hadn’t noticed anything was off about his day until later that afternoon, realizing that even when they’re in the same vicinity, Wonwoo has very adamantly not looked in his direction once. Actually, Wonwoo hasn’t said a single word to him all day, or even replied to any of Soonyoung’s texts when he normally would respond within a few minutes.

If Wonwoo was angry with him, Soonyoung would totally get it—in fact, he’d be relieved. He’s been on wrong side of Wonwoo’s cold shoulder a few times in the past, and it’s nothing he couldn’t handle. They’ve known each other since middle school so it doesn’t come as a surprise that they’ve fought before, even if Wonwoo rarely gets mad for real in the first place. Still, all forms of Wonwoo’s wrath have consistently been peppered with a plethora of passive-aggressive jabs and lots of spiteful scowling if the situation allows it, like some sort of all-you-can-eat buffet of “Hey I’m really annoyed with you and I want you to know so you can apologize, but I’m just going to glare at you instead.”

This, however, is entirely different.

There hasn’t been any of the usual insults and eye-rolls, no snide comments or longsuffering sighs of contempt, which is deeply troubling on Soonyoung’s part. It’s like Wonwoo suddenly doesn’t even want to acknowledge his existence, or want anything to do with him.

Soonyoung is completely aware that he and Wonwoo aren’t attached at the hip twenty-four-seven, that Wonwoo isn’t required to talk to him every single day, but they’re more close than they let on. Frankly, Soonyoung hasn’t gone a single day in the past ten years of his life without having some sort of contact with Wonwoo, whether it be physical or electronic. That’s basically half his lifespan so far, which is kind of worrisome now that he thinks about it, but that’s a worry for another time. Soonyoung is starting to believe that he might be experiencing Wonwoo-withdrawal symptoms—which is somehow a thing for him now—and the afternoon isn’t even over yet.

All these thoughts running through Soonyoung’s head basically return right back to the same conclusion he started with: Wonwoo is avoiding him. Actively. He’s not even trying to hide it or anything, if the way he’d turned around and walked off in the opposite direction when he spotted Soonyoung approaching was anything to go by. It’s not very clear how Wonwoo is feeling about all this either when he won’t even look in his direction so that Soonyoung, a proud expert in interpreting all of Wonwoo’s minute expressions, can decipher his emotions. Ah, maybe that’s why he’s not looking at me, Soonyoung realizes a beat too late, chewing on his lower lip as he stares down at his empty notebook, experiencing an existential crisis in the middle of an art history lecture. Worst of all, Soonyoung fears that he might know why this is happening.

Scratch that; he’s certain he knows exactly why.

It all goes back to the small get-together they had yesterday at Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Joshua’s shared apartment, when they were enjoying their last free night before the start of a brand-new semester. In fact, Soonyoung can very confidently blame Jeonghan for this entire situation, since Jeonghan is a sly hyung who is the true instigator of all the most noteworthy episodes that occur within their group.

After a couple rounds of beer and laughter, when their tongues and inhibitions had loosened in the cramped living room space full of testosterone, a very drunk Jeonghan had surprisingly grown adamant about the idea that Wonwoo and Soonyoung were madly in love with each other. “I mean, why else would you two bicker and argue all the time like this?” he’d said to them challengingly with narrowed eyes, arms crossed over his chest. His voice had gotten increasingly louder with each drink and suddenly everyone was tuned into their apparently more interesting conversation.

It’s hard to stop Jeonghan from rambling once he’s already got an idea in his head because he’ll rant about it until someone pays attention to him, especially when he’s intoxicated, which is normally hilarious—unless it’s directed towards you. Despite Soonyoung’s half-hearted protests and Wonwoo’s suddenly very somber expression, Jeonghan continues to slur accusingly at them under the watchful looks of all their friends. “You guys argue so much that it could practically be considered hatred! Unless, of course, it's all just a cover-up to hide how you two really feel, then it’s just a serious case of UST and needs to be fixed!”

Unlike how it would go on any other day—with Jeonghan’s drunken ranting getting dismissed for being overly melodramatic by everyone—no one says anything, just taking in the information like it actually made sense. In the sudden silence, all eyes were on them, scrutinizing as they mentally flipped through their memories to pass their own judgements on what they thought of their friendship; Soonyoung and Wonwoo just had to be sitting next to each other, too, when normally Soonyoung would sit at the coffee table to be closer to all the copious amounts of alcohol while Wonwoo slowly nursed a single bottle on the couch, squished against the armrest next to Seungcheol or Mingyu.

In the midst of the brief hush, Jeonghan had zeroed in on Soonyoung, who’d grown suspiciously quiet during Jeonghan’s rant when he’d normally argue back loudly if he didn’t agree with something. The truth was that Jeonghan was not wrong—at least, not on Soonyoung’s part, and he knew it. Soonyoung has been actively aware of his growing feelings for Wonwoo for nearly two years now, which not only makes Jeonghan’s detection incredibly distressing for him, but embarrassingly accurate because Soonyoung has been getting worse at hiding his true feelings the more aware of them he becomes.

Maybe he’d have laughed the accusation off any other time, playing it cool in front of Wonwoo and possibly crying about it later alone in the bathroom if he’s not inebriated enough to forget, but in that moment Soonyoung had felt incredibly weak and exposed—and even if his lips remain zipped tightly shut, his ears had grown tellingly red.

Before Jeonghan could call him out for looking like a deer in headlights, Hansol had suddenly spoken up. This thankfully distracted Jeonghan from voicing whatever accusations he was about to make to fully expose Soonyoung before his heart was ready to face that level of humiliation and rejection. Soonyoung was grateful enough that he could’ve kissed Hansol then and there, if it weren’t for what he said. “You know… Jeonghan hyung is kinda right. It honestly doesn’t make much sense to room with someone you don’t get along with,” Hansol commented, innocently thinking aloud and unaware of the chaos his words were about to spark. “Or text each other all the time.”

With that reasoning, the floodgates had burst open, and suddenly everyone had something to say about the two of them, transforming their casual evening get-together into an expose Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s “top-secret” relationship session.

“Oh god, you’re right! I remember when our dance team went on that trip to L.A. to take classes at Millennium,” Minghao groans, throwing back his head theatrically as he recalls the memory with distaste, making Soonyoung want to dissolve into the couch. “They called each other every! Single! Day! I remember thinking it was weird because I didn’t even know they were that close, but I just ignored it thinking it was some weird childhood-friend thing you Korean people do.”

Next to him Junhui nods in agreement, adding, “Actually I noticed how even when they’re near each other they’re always constantly paying attention to each other and bickering across the table. Plus they’re always going off together somewhere or another too, it makes me so lonely!”

“I remember when we went shopping together, Soonyoung kept asking me what looked good but then wouldn’t agree with anything I recommended,” Seungkwan complains with a shake of his head, making a face at the man in question. “But then later Wonwoo found a jacket he wanted to buy so he made Soonyoung try it on for him. He even helped him put it on, and then they both bought matching ones in different colors! It was basically a date! I don’t even know why the rest of us even went.”

Seokmin snickers hard at that, nodding in agreement. “Soonyoung’s boyfriend from the time got really pissed about it when he found out, and then broke up with him thinking he was being two-timed. When he told me back then, I thought the poor guy was just overthinking it, but now I realize he really must have went through a lot those few months he did try to put up with it.”

“Actually, didn’t Soonyoung even sit on Wonwoo’s lap in front of him once? It was for a dare but they didn’t really move after that,” Jihoon mentions loud enough to be heard, and immediately the entire room had dissolved into fits of glee as they all enthusiastically recalled the memory.

“I remember! The guy was fuming!” Junhui agreed through giggles, falling over. “I even told him not to think too much into it and everything!”

Everyone was having so much fun, laughing and sharing random moments they could recall despite all the alcohol in their systems, and Soonyoung honestly couldn’t tell if they were convinced that he and Wonwoo were dating or if they were all just joking around and teasing them for being so co-dependent. He hadn’t even realized that he and Wonwoo had done all those things in front of them, or that they might have come across as non-platonic in any of those situations.

Soonyoung was so mortified that he was sure he would die if their roast continued any longer, turning to his bottle in a shoddy attempt to maybe drown himself with the little alcohol left inside.

Until.

There was a nudge in his side and Soonyoung’s knee-jerk reaction was to look over immediately through his shame, despite knowing it was Wonwoo trying to get his attention amidst the mess. His eyes widened when he saw Wonwoo’s concerned expression instead, eyebrows furrowed and pink lips curving downwards, clearly upset. “Your boyfriend broke up with you because of me?” he’d asked in that low voice of his, quietly enough that no one else heard him over all the loud chatter going on around them.

Wonwoo’s face was impassive and cold like it usually is by default, but Soonyoung has always known better and could see how horrified and conflicted Wonwoo’s dark eyes are behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Immediately Soonyoung had felt bad because he’d cried pretty hard when his ex-boyfriend broke up with him, but not for the reason that Wonwoo thinks—which is, to say, actual heartbreak. He’d cried back then because he hadn’t felt anything from the breakup, except finding out that he’d just confirmed to himself just how hopelessly in love with his best friend he’d become.

Obviously Wonwoo hadn’t known that, and back then, instead of saying anything, he’d just given Soonyoung a comforting hug and kept him close-by to take care of him for a good few weeks. Soonyoung might have also exaggerated his sadness over the breakup for longer than he needed to so that Wonwoo would let him cuddle and sleep in the same bed, which is honestly pathetic when he thought back on it, but Soonyoung can’t say he regrets doing it, either.

“It was because of me, not you,” Soonyoung had assured Wonwoo just as quietly so that no one else could overhear, but also not meeting the taller man’s eyes in case he could read Soonyoung just as well as Soonyoung could read him, somehow figuring out his real feelings in this moment of weakness. “He found out something really stupid and embarrassing about me, so we broke up. It wasn’t because of you, I swear.”

Soonyoung had chanced a glance up at Wonwoo then, which was a mistake on his part because Wonwoo was staring right back, sharp eyes scrutinizing him carefully. Soonyoung couldn’t look away, caught like a mouse in a trap, feeling the heat traveling up the back of his neck and flooding into his cheeks; he’d hoped with all his heart that Wonwoo would think it was just a flush from the alcohol and not because Soonyoung was suddenly overcome with a desire to crawl on top of him and kiss him.

“Wow, you guys are so bad at hiding your relationship, I honestly can’t believe we didn’t notice until now,” Jeonghan comments loudly, making a face as he watched the exchange, drunk enough that his brain-to-mouth filter has completely shut off at this point. His flare-up had broken whatever bubble was encasing the two of them and Soonyoung looked away as soon as he was brought back to his senses, anxious wide eyes on Jeonghan again. “I feel betrayed! My own two kids! Secretly dating! Clearly you both don’t love me anymore! I’ve been scorned!”

Next to him, Joshua rolled his eyes, pressing an empty bottle against his friend’s mouth to muffle his voice. “Stop being dramatic, they probably knew we’d make a big deal out of it.”

“We’re not together,” Soonyoung tried to correct meekly, but it only fell to deaf ears, his heart in his throat and choking his voice so that it barely even came out.

“I think it’s cute,” Mingyu slurred, half-asleep with his face on the floor as he snuggled with an unopened pack of beer. “I wouldn’t’ve made a big deal out of it.”

“You’d be the first to give them away,” Seungcheol snorted with a smack to the back of Mingyu’s head, shaking his head fondly. “I’m sure they have their reasons.”

Soonyoung had tried to speak up again, a little louder that time. “Um, guys, we’re not—”

“But I thought Wonwoo hyung was straight?” Chan remarked loudly from the kitchen, where he was fetching more alcohol as per Jeonghan’s drunken request for more. “I’m pretty sure he’s only ever dated girls.”

“Love can change people. Also, bi people exist!” Jeonghan quipped despite Joshua’s continued attempts to keep his flatmate’s mouth shut. “And anyway, they wouldn’t be dating if Wonwoo cared about all that! Just like how they don’t care about me!”

Soonyoung wanted nothing more than to die right then, hunched over and sweating like a maniac. His face was so hot it could’ve melted off right then, and he couldn’t look at Wonwoo in case his best friend had a look of disgust on his face at the thought of them being together; Soonyoung’s heart wouldn’t be able to make it out alive if he saw that. “We’re not dating—” he attempted to announce again, but his small protest got lost in the sea of conversation instead.

And, just like that, it’d seemed like Wonwoo, who’d apparently been noticing Soonyoung’s feeble attempts to do damage control, had finally reached his final straw. “We’re not dating!” he exclaimed suddenly, louder than he’s ever been, visibly angered. It was completely uncharacteristic of him; he’d stood up in his outburst, immediately halting all banter as everyone’s gazes zeroed in on him, including Soonyoung, who was gaping. He’d reached out, maybe to stop Wonwoo or something, but hadn’t done so in time.

“Could you guys stop overanalyzing our friendship for one damn second and see how uncomfortable you’re making us? Soonyoung can’t even talk properly now, for ’s sake!” Wonwoo continued, thunderous, throwing down his bottle on the couch. It was thankfully empty but had still hit the surface hard enough that it ended up falling to the carpet with a dull clunk. Wonwoo strode out of the apartment then, his shoulders tense and squared, despite the rest of them calling out to him to come back.

Everyone was clearly startled, witnessing for the first time what Wonwoo looked like when he was actually angry, a sight Soonyoung hadn’t seen since Wonwoo’s rebellious stage in high school. It’s then that all their friends turned their attention to Soonyoung, who was still gaping at the door Wonwoo had just slammed shut behind him. Completely sobered and stomach curdling from uneasiness and embarrassment, Soonyoung had quickly gotten up, fumbling for their jackets and sprinting towards the door.

“Um, I, uh, better go after him,” he’d announced curtly without looking back, not waiting around before running after Wonwoo. He wasn’t angry at the others or anything, he just had a bad feeling about Wonwoo’s words—especially the way he’d said that their friends were making both of them uncomfortable.

Wonwoo had clearly noticed Soonyoung’s stupid floundering enough that he grown upset about it, so maybe he’d also noticed Soonyoung’s secret feelings, too, and felt the need to leave so that Soonyoung wouldn’t feel humiliated anymore because of him. It was a very Wonwoo-like thing to do, ejecting himself from a situation the second he thought he was making anyone feel uneasy; Wonwoo hated confrontation just as much as Soonyoung did, which was probably why Soonyoung ran after him in the first place, the need to clear things up growing more desperate inside him.

The very thought that Wonwoo might have felt bad for him made Soonyoung queasy, chewing on his lower lip as he slipped on his jacket and hoped with all his heart that Wonwoo hadn’t gotten very far. The chances of his roommate going back to their dorm after his outburst was slim to none, and Soonyoung really, really, needed to talk to him first before things became horribly awkward. Honestly he’d lie through his teeth if it meant keeping their close bond untouched, so Soonyoung did the only thing he could in that moment: he hugged Wonwoo’s jacket close to his chest and broke out into a run in the direction of their usual route back.