Written on 7 August 2011

************************************************************

Life was hard, Lee Jung Shin thought. Not about his hard-earned rising fame or single sales. Not about the crazy schedules. And definitely NOT about the endless rehearsals his band insisted to keep up regardless of the schedules they had.

It’s about Yong Hyung. And it's related to a certain maknae from the most famous girlband in Korea.

People outside of their circle wouldn’t know, how a lot of celebrities had been pestering him, the innocent Lee Jung Shin, ever since Yong Hyung and Hyung Soo Nim had that show. Not that he hated the chance for Yong Hyung to actually spend time with a girl. Hyung had been working straight out since a long time, since trainee days. He’s a chick magnet alright, but he had never let any girl messed up with his big plan of making himself and his dongsaengs a name in the music world. He would be bold enough to say that Hyung deserved that chance to meet with a pretty girl, do sweet stuffs with her, and more, get paid because of that. Yup. Yong Hyung deserved it. He, Lee Jung Shin, would be the first to say that.

However, after the show aired for a month, people started to bother him. And since then, it had never stopped.

“Does he really like her?”

“What is his type? I mean, his real type of a girl?”

“Do you think she likes him too? Do you know? Have you heard? Has he told you anything?”

“Yah, Lee Jung Shin-ssi, have they hold hands yet?”

Everybody. Everybody asked him those questions. Name it. 2NE1. 4Minutes (that time when he shot an MV for them was spent like some kind of an interrogation about The Yongseo couple). T-ARA (if not for the fact that FNC is sister company with T-ARA, he’d scream at those lot of girls). Sistar. Secret. The whole team of After School (they were really scary when they were curious).

Not just the girls. The boys too. The incessant, always energetic, 2AM. Eager to know the “Inside News”. Because “Hello! We help host the show! The world will mock us if we don’t know what’s really going on between those two!” was what Seulong and Jin Woon always said whenever they cornered him yet again in Music Bank.

U-Kiss. Who were a big bunch of boys who loved gossip and rumors. Big Bang. Forgott the cool image. They were like school girls when they asked, “Is your Hyung and Seo Hyeon-ssi really together?”. FT Island. Hong Ki Hyung with his threats if he refused to tell. The whole gang of 2PM.

Really. Sometimes he thought he would lose sanity from all of this.

But it all started to get scary when SM members (yeah you read it right, SM Members) approached and asked.

F(x):

“Are they real?” Luna asked, with a hopeful look on her face.

“Does Yong Hwa oppa really like her? I mean like really really?” asked Sulli, a bit hopeful that the answer was no, he thought.

“Is he dating anyone else now or before this?” Victoria probed, a bit menacingly.

Only Krystal was silent, but listening enthusiastically. Eager to report anything to her Unnie, Jung Shin swore under his breath.

And then it happened. Super Junior members, one by one, sometimes in group, asked the similar questions. He could feel cold sweats whenever he saw anyone of them.

He always answered with “I don’t know”.

And then they were angry. “How come you don’t know?! You live with him!”

You know what? That’s what he hated most. That Yong Hyung never told him a thing! He’s always open. Always shared his life with his dongsaengs. They lived together, struggled together, took care of each other. But, when it came to Seo Joo Hyeon, Yong Hyung was always tight lipped.

He didn’t miss the happiness in his Hyung ever since he knew her. He witnessed all the gifts he painstakingly made for her. He knew damn well who the songs he wrote for.

But. He wanted answers. Definite answer.

And sometimes he’s worried. Since the show ended, and Yong Hyung dove head first to all the album promotions and shooting a drama, whether he was alright or not. He looked always sleep deprived. Got thinner then a bit more weight then thinner again then a bit more weight again. He looked like he carried something heavy inside, around and around.

All he wanted, Goddammit, was answers!

And it’s not like he didn’t ask. He had. But Yong Hwa never answered. He had tried again and again. But his Hyung avoided everything with a laugh, a shrug, or an annoyed grunt.

“Why are you so desperate to know?” Yong Hyung had asked one day.

“Because, obviously, I want to know whether you’re happy or not, Paboo Hyung! If yes, cool. If not, do you need my help?”.

Yong Hyung was stunned. Afterwards, he had patted Jung Shin’s back, “That’s nice. But uh….you don’t need to trouble yourself like this. I’m okay”. That was that. And hellooooo! It doesn’t answer anything!

Losing in the clean way, he tried the dirty way.

He tried to take a look on Hyung’s cellphone when he’s not looking. But damn! He locked his phone with password. That’s a first! He never did that before!

When he tried to open Hyung’s laptop, the same problem occurred. He tried his Hyung’s birthday. Hyung Soo Nim’s. Their band’s debut date. Nothing worked out.

Yong Hyung caught him once or twice. But he always went away with a “What Hyung? You got a problem with that?”. 
Which Yong Hwa only answered with a shake of his head.

And maybe, like an answered prayer, one night, Jong Hyun Hyung and Min Hyuk went out for a barbeque, and Yong Hyung passed out sleeping in his room.

He was pondering what to buy for dinner, thinking maybe it’s better if he asked.

He swore he didn’t mean anything bad when he opened Hyung’s door.

And then he froze. Yong Hyung was sleeping soundly.

His cellphone was on, and it played a song, obviously on repeat. The sweet voice of the singer filled the room like a warm blanket.

The voice of Seo Joo Hyeon. Singing L.O.V.E Girl. The sound was steady. Practiced. He could hear the song of one acoustic guitar in the background.

So. Her. Hyung. Sang together?

“Oh my God!” he exclaimed in shock. Because he’s human and he couldn’t help it.

And it made Yong Hwa woke up instantly.

He turned to Jung Shin’s horrified face, realized Seo Hyeon was singing on her phone, said, “!” and immediately snatched his phone and turned it off.

He sat up with a headache, looking at Jung Shin who was gaping at him, speechless of the revelation he just found out.

“God….” Yong Hwa sighed tiredly. “I have no energy to fight you right now”

“So are you…..with her……I mean y—you. And her are…..are…..?”

Yong Hwa wiped his sleepy face with his hands. Better get this done and over with.

“Yeah, we’re together, okay? Yes, we’re seeing each other secretly when we get the
chance”

“But—but—proof! Where’s the proof?”

“What?” Yong Hwa laughed, incredulous with his maknae.

He stared for a minute at Jung Shin. “This means a lot to you somehow, right? Though I
don’t know why”

“So you’re okay? With her? And you still talk to her? And….”

“Jung Shin!” he stopped the flood of questions. “We’re to-ge-ther. We talk every. Day.
Okay?”

Jung Shin gaped. Again. Frozen on the doorway.

Yong Hwa laughed and shook his head, giving up.

“Mian. I didn’t tell you because I think you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Now,
I rather sleep. And I have no energy to answer your questions. So. It’s 11022010”.

“Huh?”

“The password. For my phone and laptop and I-pad and PC. Our first shooting day. Go dig
in” he said, giving his phone to Jung Shin.

He received, still saying nothing.

“Now, let me sleep” he ordered, before lying down, closing his eyes, and slept again.

Jung Shin was more than eager. He typed the numbers. The phone opened easily.

The screen saver was her. His inbox, both text messages and e-mails were full of her
names. His video files were full of her video calls. His picture folders were full of
her self taken pictures.

Jung Shin felt giddy. He started to cackle like mad, crazily happy.

And then he jumped and sat on the bed, pulling his Hyung’s hand, forcing him to wake up.

“Can I tell? Can I tell people?” he asked eagerly.

“What?” Yong Hwa asked drowsily.

“Can I tell people? Our friends? All of them who asked me?”

“Definitely not!” Yong Hwa said furiously.

“But Hyung! They are curious! They want to know! You have to tell! You have to! People
need to know!”

“No Jung Shin, you can’t. Get it? Don’t!”

“Hyung! People want to know! People want you guys to be real! And I think—“

Yong Hwa felt a migraine coming up. As he listened to Jung Shin raving on and on. And
his precious sleeping hours were gone with every word his maknae spewed.

Deciding Jung Shin will continue all night, he just closed his eyes and slept again.

Jung Shin didn’t even realize he was talking to a sleeping guy.