Irises

 

Being on the road gives Yeri a lot of time to think— well, when they’re not plundering from uninhibited areas, fighting or running away from zombies, or salvaging as much gas from the abandoned gas stations. Still, she has a lot of time to kill, that’s for sure.

 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Joy asks one day as Yeri packs up their camping gear from the night before and Joy puts out the fire (they come to find that the zombies tend to stay away from fire, so they make sure to set one up before bed every night, to ward them away).

 

“I never really stopped to think about all the people I knew before the outbreak,” Yeri reveals, rolling up a sleeping bag. “I had so many friends at school, and I have no idea where any of them are now… Ah… I miss Saeron…”

 

“Saeron?” Joy questions, keeping her inquiring tone light. “Who’s that?”

 

“She’s my best friend,” Yeri says, not missing the way she still uses the present tense.

 

And Joy’s face is the epitome of casual. “I see…”

 

“I wonder if she’s okay…” Yeri trails off, not really knowing where she’s going with this. “We were really close. I liked her a lot…”

 

She wants to smack herself for admitting that out loud, especially in front of Joy.

 

“I’m sure she’s fine though,” Yeri continues, in an attempt to salvage the situation. “Her family was incredibly well off, so she’s probably doing fine.”

 

“I’m sure she is too.” Joy’s tone of voice is unreadable, and Yeri hates how she can’t distinguish what’s in it. “I’m sure your other friends and family members are doing well too.”

 

“I sure hope so,” is all Yeri says, and they both let the topic drop as Yeri asks about how much ground the older girl thinks they’ll be able to cover today.

 

—

 

Acacias

 

Seulgi doesn’t want to believe what she’s seeing, but there it is.

 

She stares through the open door of Wendy’s office numbly. As she stares, Irene stares right back, with wide eyes and no words leaving . Her discarded shirt is gripped loosely in her hands, as she stands in front of Wendy in nothing but a sports bra.

 

But Seulgi isn’t looking at Irene’s face, not even at Wendy’s dumbstruck expression. No, she’s just looking at the clear scar of a bite mark on the side of Irene’s stomach.

 

“That mark looks like a…” Seulgi trails off expressionlessly. A zombie bite.

 

Irene tries to take a step towards her. “Seulgi—”

 

“You said that we’d find out together.” It’s an accusation. A betrayal.

 

Seulgi leaves before Irene even gets a chance to answer.

 

—

 

Orchids

 

When Yeri sighs for the fifth time in the last two minutes, Joy finally turns away from the fire she’s finished building and asks what’s wrong.

 

Yeri sighs yet again, and Joy feels a dull ache in her chest area.

 

“Nothing,” the younger girl says, “Just wondering about my family and their whereabouts again.”

 

“And Saeron’s location too, then,” Joy concludes, and the dull ache continues to pulse irritatingly in place. She lets out a breath, running a tired hand through her hair. “I’m sorry, Yeri. I wish I knew a way to find out if they were okay.”

 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Yeri smiles wearily, just as exhausted as Joy. It had been a long day of driving, avoiding zombies whenever possible. Yeri had shot quite a few from her spot in the passenger seat, mainly out of precaution more than anything. “You’re always doing the best for me, Joy. I don’t think I say thank you enough, so thank you.”

 

“Anything for you,” is Joy’s immediate response, and she motions for Yeri to come closer. The short-haired girl scoots closer to Joy eagerly, tucking herself under Joy’s protective arm. “Get some sleep, yeah? I’ll take first watch.”

 

“Do you ever get bored?” Yeri asks amidst a yawn, making herself comfortable. “Y’know, while taking watch and all?”

 

“Not really,” Joy chuckles, smoothing out some of Yeri’s tousled locks. “Not when you’re with me.”

 

“Really?” Yeri smiles sleepily at Joy’s nod, her eyes already closed. “That’s funny. Me too.”

 

—

 

Acacias

 

A few days pass and Seulgi has had enough dancing around. She’s tired and sad, and she thinks she’s actually getting physically sick from not being near Irene— the Irene-shaped hole in her heart seems to be getting wider by the hour.

 

"Irene," Seulgi murmurs lowly, and the older girl flinches, hands coming to wrap themselves around her own body. Seulgi feels herself sweat from the heat, yet Irene shivers as if she's cold. The younger girl had to resist the urge to reach out and pull Irene into her own embrace, tuck Irene under her chin and hold her there. "Irene, what are you doing?"

 

"I'm just tired, Seulgi," Irene says, but Seulgi isn't fazed by the dismissal in the slightest. She frowns at Irene's obvious avoidance of the topic. "Why have you come into my room?"

 

"Because I want answers," Seulgi says bluntly, taking one step forward as Irene immediately takes one step back. "Why were you with Wendy?"

 

"She was doing an examination," Irene mumbles. Her hands subconsciously reach for her blanket, and Seulgi momentarily fixates on how she kneads the covers with anxious fingers.

 

Seulgi shakes her head. "You're the healthiest girl in camp, Irene. I was there during that first examination. So why?" She pauses. "Why was your shirt off?" That didn't come out right. "What was that mark on your skin?"

 

Irene flinches as Seulgi subtlety brushes the side of her stomach through the thin cloth of her white t-shirt.

 

"Please, Seulgi," Irene whispers, so softly, so painfully, that the sound grates against Seulgi's ears. She's never heard Irene say her name with that type of desperation before. "Please. I don't want to change this. I don't want to lose what I have already. Not when it's all slipping out of my grasp already."

 

Seulgi does her best to keep her composure, keep her sanity, keep herself steady. But with the broken way that Irene looks at her, she's having the hardest time of her life. Seulgi has faced the dead alive, but even they can't make her feel like she's being stabbed through the heart with their eyes alone— not like Irene.

 

"You haven't lost anything," Seulgi says, trying to soothe the troubled girl. "You haven't, and you won't. But please, Irene. Something has changed, and I need to know. I care for you so much, Hyun. I... It hurts, okay?" Seulgi's voice suddenly turns quiet, and it's like time comes to a standstill as Irene looks at her in shock. "It hurts to know that there's something you're hiding from me, even after all this time."

 

Memories of hugging Irene to sleep flash through her mind, memories of gentle smiles and feather-light touches, memories of growing so close to Irene, who stole her breath the moment she first laid eyes on the smaller girl, and Seulgi's heart aches.

 

And there's silence.

 

"...I didn't want to hide," Irene murmurs, and Seulgi's gaze finally snaps up from where it's been looking at the wooden floor beneath them. "I didn't want to hide anything, Seulgi. Not from Wendy, or the rest of our friends, and certainly not you. But I was scared."

 

Irene's voice breaks and she hugs herself self-consciously, shivering once more. She sniffs, eyes getting watery.

 

Seulgi can't take it anymore. She makes a motion to step closer, but is stopped when Irene shakes her head.

 

"No, don't come closer," Irene whispers. "Hear me out first. Let me tell you my side. Decide whether you want to come closer after. Opportunity cost and economic theory, right?" It’s a weak smile that she sends Seulgi’s way, but it’s something.

 

Seulgi can't do anything but nod for Irene to continue, and the other girl smiles gratefully before sitting down on the bed. Irene pats the space on the comforter nearby, and Seulgi complies, leaving a good two feet of space between them.

 

"Do you remember when you first met me? When you saved me from those two men?"

 

Seulgi frowns. Of course she can remember that. She'd never felt rage like that before— she's never been that angry for anyone before, let alone a complete stranger.

 

"I told you that I didn't know why they had wanted me," Irene continues, looking remorseful. "That was a lie. I knew full well why they wanted me.

 

"What you oversaw, Seulgi, in Wendy's office earlier? That mark?" Irene chuckles dryly, shaking her head and taking a moment to lift her shift slightly. Seulgi's eyes widen, finally able to see the mark in its full glory. She'd been unable to see the full sight earlier, with Irene not having been facing her, but now? That mark looks awfully like a—

 

"It's a bite mark," Irene says gravely, and Seulgi feels everything come crashing down, mind whirling with all this new information. "Back before I went to Shelter with my family, I was bitten by a zombie."

 

"Oh my god..." Seulgi says in disbelief, her eyes never leaving the scar.

 

Irene smiles sadly at the younger girl.

 

"For some reason, I never turned. I felt just fine. So I went to Shelter with the rest of my family, evacuating with everyone else. I didn't tell anyone of the bite; I thought it would interfere with the evacuation if I said something. But I still didn't trust myself. So the first thing I did after admission was lock myself in my assigned room for days on end. I must've stayed in my room for a whole week, afraid of turning into a zombie... But nothing happened."

 

"You're immune," Seulgi breathes in awe, taking in Irene's appearance with a new perspective. "You're really immune."

 

"I am," Irene admits, the expression on her face frustrated in conflict. "Those two men who you saved me from? They found out as well. I'm not quite sure how, but they did. So they decided to test me. They posed as doctors in Shelter and knocked me unconscious. While I was passed out, they injected the venom of the living dead into me and waited for it to spread, but it never did."

 

"So they stole you away," Seulgi concludes, and something inside of her shatters at the heartbroken look on Irene's face. "They took you because they wanted to profit. You were scared that if you told us about your immunity, someone might have wanted to do the same."

 

Irene hesitates but nods in the end.

 

"I'm sorry," she whimpers. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I'm sorry I lied and hid things. I'm sorry that I'm not worthy of your friendship. I'm sorry I'm such an awful—”

 

And that's when the tightening coil in Seulgi's stomach snaps.

 

She lunges at Irene and throws her arms around the older girl's torso, pulling Irene in close. Irene lets out a weak cry but grips onto her shirt, her arms so tightly, and Seulgi throws any resolve to hold back her growing love out the window, never to be seen again.

 

"Don't finish that sentence," Seulgi says into Irene's ear, pressing a succession of quick kisses onto the top of Irene's head. "Don't you dare. You are perfect, Bae Joohyun. And I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I'm sorry for pushing you, I'm sorry for making you tell me this. I'm sorry that you had to go through such an awful experience. I'm sorry I couldn't have suffered with you. But I'm here now, Hyun, and I will keep you safe. You are worth it, Irene. You are so worth it."

 

"I don't deserve you," Irene rasps out, but doesn't dare move, only melts into Seulgi's embrace even further.

 

"Nonsense," Seulgi replies, pulling her closer. "You deserve the world, Hyun. I— I’ve lost so many people to this stupid outbreak… and it’s all my parents’ fault that the world is like this. I’m sorry, Hyun. I was just so worried about losing you... I should’ve trusted you more."

 

Irene only shakes her head wordlessly, the unspoken words, we move on, permeating through what little space between them.

 

And then a thought occurs, and Seulgi almost doesn't want to say it.

 

"Irene," she says lowly, and Irene shudders at the sudden change of tone, looking away. "Irene, look at me. Is that all that those men did to you?"

 

The grief-stricken expression that overtakes Irene's perfect features speaks thousands of more words than her lips ever could.

 

"I'm going to murder them," Seulgi growls, her grip on Irene tightening. "I will find them and murder them in their sleep."

 

"Seulgi!" Irene gasps, shaking her head. She pushes herself upwards, trying to placate the fiery leader with soft kisses. "Oh, please don't! Don't leave me, Seulgi! Not even for something like this."

 

"They did more than just hurt you, Irene!" Seulgi nearly shouts, and Irene flinches, shrinking away. Immediately, the young leader understands what she's just done and shakes herself out of it, trying to push her anger away. Perhaps now is not the time.

 

"I know those men did awful, awful things," Irene whispers, "but I just want to be with you right now, Seul. I- I wish I could've made it up to you better..."

 

"Then let me have this," Seulgi interrupts, looking into Irene's eyes meaningfully. The older girl's orbs reflect her own dark ones right back at her, and she leans forward to nuzzle their noses together. "Do you trust me, Irene?"

 

"I do," Irene says without hesitation, immediately bringing her arms to loop around Seulgi's neck, hugging her close. "I trust you more than anyone else in the remainder of this world."

 

"Then let me have this," Seulgi repeats. Carefully, she presses a kiss against Irene's lips, firmly, gently, steadily. She pulls away, breathing hard, and Irene's flushed face is what greets her. "Let me wash it all away. Let me take it all away. Let me try and make you feel better. Let me love you."

 

"Always," Irene breathes back, and Seulgi can almost hear her heart pounding, right next to the beating drum of her own. It's so loud, so warm and welcoming, that if Seulgi would freeze time, she'd freeze it right here and now. There is nothing better than this feeling.

 

And when Seulgi's lips ultimately brush against the scar marring the side of Irene's stomach, the younger girl feels her lover shiver.

 

"Whose is this?" She asks suddenly. She uses a finger to tenderly trace the mark. When she looks up, she's met with Irene blinking dazedly at her through bleary, unfocused eyes. Seulgi chuckles at the sight before pressing yet another open mouthed kiss to the spot, and Irene shudders.

 

"Whose is this?" She asks Irene again, and the older girl has to choke back a sob.

 

"Yours," Irene gasps, tears threatening to spill. "It's all yours— oh, Seulgi!" She cups Seulgi's face, gingerly pulling her up so that they're face-to-face yet again. "You don't need to take my burdens!"

 

"But I want to," Seulgi says, nothing but love pouring from every ounce of her body, and she lets Irene pull her into a hard kiss. She feels the tears trickling down Irene's cheeks and she smiles into the kiss, willingly nipping away at Irene's sadness.

 

—

 

Irises

 

“Yeri! Pssst, Yeri! Wake up!”

 

“Hmm…? Joy?” Yeri blinks blearily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Is something wrong? Are there zombies nearby?”

 

“No, nothing like that. Just quick, hurry and get up!” There’s a childlike excitement in Joy’s tone that Yeri’s never heard before, and that alone gives her the motivation to hoist herself up and see what Joy’s so lively about. “You’ll want to see this, I promise.”

 

Yeri nods dumbly, finally reaching a sitting position—

 

—but then she’s looking up at the most beautiful ocean of stars that she’s ever seen.

 

“Oh my god,” she whispers, and she tears her awed gaze away to look at Joy beside her, who stares up at the sky in innocent wonder. “Joy…”

 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Joy comments, awestruck. She speaks quietly, like she’s telling Yeri a secret that no one else is allowed to hear. It makes Yeri feel special, to be sharing this moment with Joy, and yet—

 

Oh, but you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, unnie.

 

Yeri can’t get the words out right now, not when they’re lodged in and she’s not sure about whether she’s been reading the signs right or wrong but oh, does she want to with all her heart. So she vows to herself, silent and personal, that she’ll tell Joy one day, when she’s brave enough, strong enough; when she can protect Joy like Joy protects her— and she’s working on it, she really is.

 

So instead,

 

“It’s almost a shame that only the cellphone towers went down and not just electricity in general.”

 

And Joy laughs at that, loud and bright and clear, and the sound roots its way into Yeri’s heart before circling back up towards the river of stars above.

 

“You say that now,” Joy chuckles, “but don’t lie to me, Kim Yerim, you miss your long hair and curling iron.”

 

“I absolutely love my short hair, thank you very much!” Yeri laughs, flicking her short locks playfully. “Why, do I look better with long hair, Joy?”

 

“I think you look beautiful no matter what hairstyle,” Joy replies smoothly, and Yeri blushes back into speechlessness.

 

“Yeah, well, same for you too,” she mumbles under her breath thirty seconds later.

 

Oh, what Yeri would do to pocket a little bit of Joy’s laughter to listen to whenever she gets lonely.

 

—

 

Peonies

 

“So...” Seulgi starts, a few hours later, propping herself up on one elbow, gazing down at Irene with something akin to wonder in her eyes.

 

Irene giggles, shifting so that she can look up at the other girl, her long, dark hair spreading out on the pillow beneath her.

 

“What’s up, Seul?”

 

“I’ve just been thinking... so you really can’t turn into a zombie or something like that?”

 

Irene raises an eyebrow. She thought that they’d been over this enough already.

 

“I really can’t,” she chuckles, though she grows more confused at the sight of Seulgi pouting.

 

“Are you sure?” Seulgi presses. “Like, no urges to, say, take a bite out of someone or anything?”

 

“One hundred percent positive,” Irene affirms, only to let out a laugh as Seulgi’s pout deepens. “Why? Isn’t that a good thing? I’m not going to eat anyone anytime soon.”

 

“I mean, yeah, that’s great and all,” Seulgi grumbles, huffing with a shrug. “But I really wanted to say something, and I don’t think I can now since the context is kind of ruined.”

 

Irene can’t help but get more confused at Seulgi’s words. What on earth is this getting on about?

 

“Well, what were you going to say? Just tell me now.”

 

“I was gonna ask you why are you looking at me like that?”

 

The older girl furrows her brow.

 

“‘Looking at you’ like what?”

 

“Like you want to eat me,” Seulgi replies, followed by a quick wink.

 

Irene breaks out into a coughing fit, hitting her chest repeatedly to stop herself from choking over nothing, before the coughing dissolves into pure laughter. She laughs her heart out as Seulgi joins her, the young leader muffling her own silent laughter into her white pillow.

 

She laughs and laughs and laughs, until her chuckles die down and she and Seulgi just stare at each other silently, humongous grins on their faces.

 

“That was awful!” She managed to choke out through her hiccuping giggles.

 

Irene vaguely registers how her stomach hurts from laughing too hard, thinks for a brief second about how she’s still struggling to compose herself as she stares at the twinkling stars in Seulgi’s beaming eyes.

 

Loving Seulgi hurts, she decides quietly. Loving Seulgi hurts like nothing she’s ever felt before— the feeling of being so weightless that she can’t even believe it, like there’s no way it can be true. Hurts like the thrill of jumping off the side of the cliff, the loss of breath, only to plunge into the crisp cool of the deep blue abyss below. Hurts like the feeling of breaking for air. Hurts like Irene can breathe for the first time in a century.

 

And it feels so damn good.

 

—

 

Orchids

 

Joy doesn’t really know what to think about the man standing in front of the ridiculously large dome in the middle of the desert. He stands at the entrance of the strange… building? – is that what it is? – like he’s been waiting for them, his hands held behind his back, his expression one of patience.

 

They pull up hesitantly in front of him, and when Joy deliberately gets out of the truck, Yeri immediately latches onto her arm, never one to admit her fear out loud.

 

“Who are you?” Joy demands, hoping that the slight wavering in her voice doesn’t give away her apprehension. No fear, no emotion, no nothing. Don’t let them take advantage of you.

 

“You may call me Mr. Lee,” the man tells them, and Joy narrows her eyes at him suspiciously as he sweeps his arm back grandiosely. “And this is Shelter! The safest place on the planet. Please follow me inside.”

 

“Why should we trust you?” Yeri finally speaks, snapping at the man with caution.

 

“Because the rest of your family is here,” Mr. Lee replies, and Joy feels Yeri stiffen at her side. “They’ve told me a lot about you, Miss Kim Yerim.”

 

And that’s how Joy finds herself following the mysterious man through the dome’s lengthy tunnel, Yeri gripping her hand so hard that Joy’s sure that it’ll leave a bruise, aching and sore, later.

 

—

 

Forget-Me-Nots

 

Wendy bites her lip, fingers twiddling, aching to do something productive, but she's already completed all of her tasks for the day, as well as done her rounds around camp, asking if anyone needed tending to.

 

Fortunately, everyone present had been in tip-top shape and there had been nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, that had left Wendy with nothing but her own thoughts to accompany her for the last hour or so.

 

Her mind drifts to her conversation with Irene from earlier. The older girl had wanted to speak with her about... arrangements and the future. Seulgi had been present as well, much to Wendy's relief— it was good to see their relationship thriving so beautifully after hitting a bit of a rough patch a few days ago.

 

Still, while her conversation with the two of them had confirmed many suspicions, it had also left her with plenty more questions.

 

Just when she's getting lost in thought, Wendy perks up as the door opens slightly, and a very welcoming face pokes her head into the room.

 

"Wan? You okay?"

 

“You’re back!”

 

Wendy practically jumps onto the returning runner, flying across the room to throw her arms around Eunji.

 

“Whoa,” Eunji chuckles, willingly wrapping an arm around Wendy’s waist and tugging her in closer to plant a chaste kiss on her girlfriend’s lips. “This is a new greeting. Should I leave on long supply runs more often?”

 

“Don’t you dare,” Wendy demands, looking as threatening as a puppy being denied their favorite chew toy. “When you’re not here and I’m left to my own devices, I do nothing but worry about everything.”

 

“Everything?” Eunji frowns, gently steering them over to the nearby patient bed. Wendy lets her recline them both back, leaning back onto Eunji’s chest and just breathing. “What’s wrong, Wan? What’s on your mind?”

 

“There’s so much,” Wendy sighs, closing her eyes. “There’s just so much.”

 

She hates being a bother. She hates opening up. She hates stealing someone else’s precious time, especially in this day, when their worlds are being pulled apart at the seams.

 

But this is Eunji.

 

Eunji, who’s been nothing but helpful, who never hesitates to tell Wendy her frustrations, who promises that they’ll get through everything together. Eunji, who is funny, and warm, and sweet, who loves her like Wendy’s never been loved before. Eunji, who Wendy wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with.

 

So she spills.

 

She talks about Irene, and her immunity to this disease— the solution had been right in front of their noses this whole time. She talks about how she'd felt numb for a moment, before Irene had told her about the men who had bound her and knocked her unconscious, who had done unforgivable acts to her and stole her away from her family. She talks about how her mind is twisting her up, and how she wonders if it's fair to even ask Irene to help them with finding a cure— would it not be the same as taking advantage of her friend?

 

"But Irene was the one who approached you earlier, correct? Did she not offer her help?" Eunji asks.

 

"She did," Wendy admits, fiddling with their intertwined fingers. "She told me that she's willing to do any amount of tests, give me as many samples of her blood as needed, in order to help me find a solution. But after all Irene's been through, after the human race has wronged her before, is it even fair to have her help us?"

 

Eunji hums, and Wendy feels the slightly taller girl drop her chin to rest on Wendy's shoulder.

 

"Don't forget that Irene is human too," Eunji reasons gently, and from where their cheeks are pressed together, Wendy can feel Eunji's soft smile. "Sure, she's been wronged by her captors before, but look at how her life has changed! She met Seulgi, and now the two of them are so very much in love. She met you, and she's more than willing to trust you with her life. Irene might have been taken from her first family, but she's found another one here, with us, a ragtag team of survivors. She's eager to leave all the bad that's happened in the past because she cares about us.”

 

Wendy breathes in, and Eunji casually traces an ‘I,’ ‘L,’ and ‘Y,’ onto the back of her hand with her thumb.

 

“So I should ask— no, let Irene help,” Wendy concludes, a tired smile finally playing on her lips.

 

Eunji simply smiles.

 

“I trust you, Wan. I know that whatever you choose, you’ll manage to do the right thing in the end. I’m here for you, always.”

 

—

 

Irises

 

Yeri had never expected to see her parents again, but by no means does it stop her from covering and choking back a sob before getting engulfed in a hug by her family.

 

"Mom!" She weeps into her mother's arms, her father hastily joining in from behind, and her siblings filling in the cracks. "Dad! Oh my god, you're all here and you're all safe!"

 

"We were so worried!" Her mother cries into Yeri's short hair. "We thought— we thought—"

 

"I'm safe, mom," Yeri assured her, smiling through the wet tears streaming down her face. Fleetingly, she peeks through the hug, peering out curiously at Joy, who stands back to give them room. She shares a smile with the older girl. "I'm completely safe. Look! This is Joy! She kept me safe and taught me how to su—"

 

"Yeri?" A new voice cuts in, and Yeri freezes.

 

Slowly, her family steps away from their daughter, smiling reassure fly at Yeri. Soon enough, they've parted enough for Yeri to see the face of the girl who Yeri had been so willing to give her heart to, only a mere few months ago. Saeron’s changed very little, Yeri’s noticed; her hair has grown longer but other than that, she’s still the same Saeron that Yeri once knew and loved. Yeri, on the other hand, with her short hair and off-shoulder sweater— well, suffice to say, even Yeri can acknowledge the change in herself.

 

"Saeron?"

 

Not even a second later, she's wrapped in Saeron's taller embrace, her face screaming in happiness with the younger girl.

 

"You're okay!"

 

"I am! I— oh god, Yerim, I wanted to wait for you but they couldn't hold the trucks and I didn't know where you were, but then the café owner said that you'd been buried under a collapsed ceiling and I didn't know what to do and—"

 

"Shhh, Ron!" Yeri laughs, reaching up to wipe away Saeron's tears and halt her blubbering. "I'm here now, and I'm safe."

 

"I know," Saeron says breathlessly. "And I'm so glad. You've made it to safety now, Yerim. There's no need to be afraid anymore."

 

"Oh," Yeri blinks, almost in confusion, at the word afraid. Like a foreign concept. "Actually, I've been great."

 

When had that happened? When had that fear that had once instilled itself so firmly into Yeri's heart evaporate into essentially nothingness? When had Yeri stopped fearing for her life and just allowed herself to thrive? She finds that she can't remember the last time she'd felt a true fear of the undead roaming just outside of Shelter's secure walls.

 

With Joy, she figures eventually, mulling over the concept for a few seconds, there hasn't really been anything to fear. Joy is freedom and protection and exhilaration. The older girl somehow manages to show her something new about loving life every single day, and Yeri wonders if she'll ever be able to adjust to the uneventful life of a Shelter citizen.

 

"I don't think I've been scared of anything for a while," Yeri says nonchalantly, - well, besides the creepy man who runs this place - shrugging at the way Saeron's eyes bug out at the admission. "It's true. Joy and I protect each other."

 

"Joy?" Saeron questions, and it occurs to Yeri that her oblivious best friend hasn't even registered her companion's presence.

 

"Yeah," Yeri nods, motioning to the taller girl. "This is Joy."

 

"Ohhhh," Saeron says, forming the round letter. However, she makes no further motion of acknowledge.

 

Yeri frowns. Behind her, Joy stands off to the side on her own, looking visibly tense, her limbs tight and taut just barely, as though she's forcing herself to relax. But Joy's dark brown eyes shift warily, and Yeri feels bad. The older girl looks awfully like a caged bird, even in this enormous dome that well obscures the sky.

 

"Joy," Yeri murmurs, breaking away from her reunion with Saeron and her family, her arms automatically outreaching for Joy's comforting figure. She steps into the taller's space, just as she'd become so accustomed to over these past two months, resting her cheek on the crook of Joy's shoulder and lightly encircling her arms around Joy's waist. "Are you okay?"

 

Only then does Yeri feel Joy sigh, relaxing into Yeri's hold as she returns the embrace.

 

"Yeah," Joy mumbles into Yeri's hair, closing her eyes. Her fingers lose themselves into the soft fabric of Yeri's off-shoulder sweater. "I'm good. Just a bit tired."

 

“You sure?” The question comes out muffled, spoken softly.

 

“Yeah,” Joy repeats. Anything for you. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. You should be celebrating with your family and friend now. I’m sure you’re dying to tell them about everything that’s happened.”

 

—

 

Peonies

 

“I think I forgot to mention how I’m awful with pointy things,” Irene says warily, eyeing the rather large needle in Wendy’s hand. She shifts nervously in place, fiddling with the hem of her shirt before sighing. “I’m sorry, Wendy. I must be making things difficult for you.”

 

The doctor chuckles, shaking her head understandingly. “No worries, Irene. Plenty of people are scared of needles. Eunji’s absolutely awful with them, as tough as she appears to be.” Wendy throws a teasing glance over her shoulder at her girlfriend observing from the corner of the room before nodding at Seulgi. “Well, I can’t say I didn’t plan ahead— this is why I asked Seulgi to come too.”

 

“Irene’s number one distraction, reporting for duty!” Seulgi cheers, saluting her friend and settling down next to Irene. “Ready for storytime, Hyun?”

 

“Oh no,” Irene groans playfully, already getting a feeling that this would be yet another one of Seulgi’s humorous tales, but she leans in to listen eagerly nonetheless. “Don’t you have anything better to do, Seul?”

 

“Not really,” Seulgi chirps. “Besides, you’re so worth it, Hyun.”

 

The next ten minutes are spent listening to Seulgi recount a story from university, when she and her two closest friends, Moonbyul and Eunae (two of Seulgi’s most trusted runners to this day), had decided to pull the best and most subtle prank ever by sticking googly eyes on every single picture, poster, and piece of artwork on campus, enlisting an entire group of students to help them on their quest to cause as much mass confusion as possible. No one had apparently questioned the googly eyes aloud to any authority for a full week, and Seulgi, Moonbyul, and Eunae had laughed the week away.

 

“Did you ever get caught?” Irene questions, only to bark out a laugh at Seulgi’s answering sly smirk. “Of course you didn’t. Why did I even bother asking?”

 

“Who knows, Hyun,” Seulgi drawls lazily. She points at her arm. “That’s a nice pink Band-Aid you’ve got right there, by the way.”

 

Irene’s furrows her brow. “Band-Aid? I don’t have a— whoa!” She doesn’t remember Wendy ever pressing the sticky piece of thin plastic onto her skin— she doesn’t even remember Wendy ever inserting the needle into her vein. What on earth? “When did that get there?”

 

“You were so invested in Seulgi’s story that you didn’t even notice me taking a sample,” Wendy giggles, already putting away all her medical instruments. That was enough for today; analysis can wait for tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep. “Or putting the Band-Aid, for that matter. You didn’t even flinch! It was amazing. Eunji sure wasn’t like that”

 

“Well in my defense, it’s different when it’s your girlfriend who’s holding the needle!” Eunji protests with a huff. She crosses her arms and pouts, but Irene watches her melt into a puddle when Wendy presses a quick kiss to her cheek. “And maybe I was scared too. But that’s irrelevant.”

 

—

 

Orchids

 

Joy watches the younger girl in the boisterous dining hall quietly, watches Yeri smile and laugh with her family, smile and laugh with Saeron— she just looks so carefree. How could she possibly ask Yeri to step away from all of that? How could she ask Yeri to leave what is virtually paradise?

 

She silently slips away, heading up into their temporary shared room— temporary. Joy hates that word with a passion. Everything is temporary. Her family had been temporary; the car accident in her youth had stolen it away (she still refuses to ride in the passenger seat to this day). Her homes after that had been temporary; no foster family had wanted to keep her (“Too quiet,” they had said. “Never happy.”) Her job had been temporary, since the outbreak stolen that away too.

 

This room too, would be temporary. Joy can’t stay here. It’s stuffy, and dark, even with all the lights on.

 

Like a coffin.

 

She’d never thought that Yeri could possibly be temporary too— it never even crossed her mind. Since when had Yeri become such a permanent fixture in her life? It’s baffling, really.

 

Life is temporary too. Joy has known this simple fact for years, and she acknowledges it again even now, as she wordlessly presses a single bullet into the shiny revolver that had remained without bullets until today.

 

Everything is temporary.

 

She places the revolver down and leaves to find a handkerchief; the revolver needs cleaning.

 

—

 

Orchids

 

"You're packing up already?" Yeri asks, furrowing her brow in confusion. "Are we leaving tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me?"

 

She stands near the entrance of the hotel room that Shelter had given her and Joy for the time being. The bed on the left, closest to the window, is messy – someone had clearly slept in it – while the bed on the right remains as pristine as it had been back from when they'd first been shown the room. Saeron had wanted Yeri to stay the night in her living quarters, and the short-haired girl had obliged, more than happy to catch up with her best friend.

 

"Yeri..." Joy takes a deep breath, shaking her head as she stares down at the revolver she had been cleaning for the last ten minutes. The dark metal gleams under the glare of the sunlight streaming in from the window.

 

"I didn't tell you because I'm the only one that's leaving this place," the older girl quietly admits, not daring to meet Yeri's shocked stare. "I'm leaving, but you are not."

 

"I-" Yeri stutters, looking dumbfounded by this new information. "Why?!" She demands in indignation, eyes going wide with hurt. "Do you not want me around? I- I'm sorry for being such a burden, Joy, I didn't mean to bring you troubl—"

 

"No! That's not it at all!" Joy hastily exclaims, abandoning her spot where she'd been cleaning the revolver to stand directly in front of the younger girl. Yeri cranes her neck up to look at Joy with tears and vulnerability in her eyes. Joy feels a tight fist clench around her heart at the sight, and the coiling pain in her chest worsens— there's no.thing she hates more than hurting Yeri, regardless of intent.

 

"Yeri, I love having you with me!" Joy's gaze softens. "We probably wouldn't have survived this long without each other."

 

"Then why?!"

 

"Because it's safer!"

 

"Still!" Yeri insists stubbornly. "That's not for you to decide, Sooyoung-unnie!"

 

Joy flinches momentarily at the obscure sound of the honorific leaving Yeri's lips. She hadn't heard Yeri call her that since she'd first rescued her a solid two months ago. It's a true testament to how close they'd become, and how much Yeri had grown from the scared, trembling girl who hadn't dared to leave the broken down café, to the bold woman standing before Joy, unafraid of questioning the older girl's judgement. Yeri had grown— Joy truly had to admit. Yeri had only gotten more beautiful.

 

"Yerim," Joy says in a low voice, purposefully using Yeri's true name. "This place, this Shelter? It's safe. This place is protected on all sides— all four walls, and even the ceiling! You deserve nothing less than this kind of safety, and I can't give you nearly this amount of protection. Not by myself. This place... It could be your savior. I... I don’t belong here. I feel, I don’t know, trapped. Like the walls are suffocating me. I can deliver the rest of the supplies on my own.

 

"And," Joy gulps, the words nearly getting stuck in . "Your family is here— all of them. Your mom, dad, younger sisters... And Saeron is here, and she's safe and alive. The two of you could be happy together, y'know? And you'd been worrying about her safety this whole time—"

 

"Joy." There's a hard edge to Yeri's tone that makes Joy come to a stuttering stop in her rambling (since when had Joy been reduced to such a bumbling mess around the younger girl anyways?)

 

"... Yes?"

 

"You are all I know," Yeri says quietly, looking Joy dead in the eye, and Joy freezes. "You taught me how to survive. You taught me how to defend myself. You taught me how to live. Joy, you are everything that I know." Yeri lets out a watery chuckle. "Why would I need another savior when I already have you? My angel with a shotgun.

 

"And yes, my family is here, and I am nothing short of ecstatic. Saeron is alive and well too, and that brings me peace. But Joy, you bring me happiness. Nothing makes me happier than when I am with you. I know this, and I will choose you, my happiness, every single time."

 

Joy doesn't realize that she's clenching her fists until she loosens them, the coiling of muscle suddenly relaxing, and a feeling of relief washes over her. Yeri wants her. Yeri needs her.

 

"So please," the short-haired girl begs, wasting no time in launching herself at Joy, throwing her arms around Joy's neck and burying her face into Joy's shoulder, dampening the fabric there. "Please don't leave me alone! I-I can't see the sky here, Joy! And-and now that you've finally shown me what it really looks like, I don't know how to live without it!"

 

"... Okay." Joy relents with a small smile. A hand brings itself up to tangle in Yeri's hair, and the younger girl sighs in relief, pressing ever-so closer to Joy, as though trying to reassure herself that Joy is still here. "I won't go anywhere without you."

 

"Thank you," Yeri mumbles, lips grazing the skin of Joy's neck. The long-haired girl shudders. "All I need is you and the blue sky above us, Joy. Shelter is safe but I feel like I'm suffocating."

 

"I'm sorry," Joy murmurs into Yeri's hair. "I'm sorry for not talking to you first, and for assuming that you'd want to stay here. You're not a burden— and you never were, but I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way."

 

"Don't be." Yeri momentarily pulls away, only to rest her forehead on Joy's and nuzzle her nose. "You were only looking out for me. You've always been looking out for me. Thank you, unnie."

 

"Anything for you, Yeri."

 

—

 

Irises

 

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?!” Yeri’s mother shouts, lunging forward in an attempt to grab Yeri’s wrist.

 

Yeri, on the other hand, with increased reflexes after weeks of fighting and fleeing from the living dead, easily jumps out of the way of her mother’s swinging arm. She shakes her head, her eyes hard and decided, as she gravitates close to Joy, easily entering Joy’s space and finding comfort there.

 

“You’re in Shelter, Yerim! You can’t leave here! It’s unsafe outside of this place!” Her mother shrieks, trying to dash forward, only to be held back by her father.

 

“Honey, stop,” the elderly man murmurs into her ear, his voice breaking at the word stop, like it physically hurt him to say the command. “Both of us know that Yeri doesn’t belong here. She’s been looking for a crack in the wall ever since she arrived.”

 

“No,” her mother says, going slack in her husband’s arms, and Yeri watches her mother sadly. “No,” the woman repeats, looking like she had aged ten years in ten seconds, all the youth draining out of her at the sight of her daughter walking away.

 

“You’ll take good care of her,” Yeri’s father chokes out, and it takes Yeri a moment to realize that he’s talking to Joy.

 

The addressed girl bows slightly, hands coming to rest on Yeri’s shoulders protectively.

 

“I will always be by her side. I promise.”

 

“What has gotten into you, Kim Yerim?”

 

Yeri stiffens at the cold tone of her (former?) best friend before being brought back to earth at the feeling of Joy squeezing her shoulders. No, she can’t be deterred now. Not when she’s so close— so very, very close to her happiness. Her Joy.

 

“I can’t stay here.” She’d spent too long looking for windows in this place, knowing very well that she wouldn’t find any. “I’m not happy here, Saeron. Not when Joy’s not happy. Not when I can’t see the sky.”

 

Saeron goes silent.

 

Yeri sighs after a moment passes and it doesn’t look like Saeron is going to say any more. Instead, she turns to Mr. Lee, who stands next to lever to open Shelter’s gate, and nods.

 

“We’re ready.”

 

“Are you sure about this?” Mr. Lee asks, the look in his eyes subdued, almost sad. “Those who have left before have never gotten further than 20 kilometers away from the dome,” he cautions. “Are you absolutely sure that you want to leave?”

 

“Positive,” Yeri says decidedly, speaking for both her and Joy. She looks up at the taller girl and spies the proud smile on the long-haired girl’s lips. She’s always wanted to say these words. She’s never felt more like an adult than at this moment, making such a major decision like this. She hopes that Joy feels the same, sees her as an adult.

 

Mr. Lee pulls the lever, and there’s that horrible grinding sound from the first time Yeri had watched these gates pry apart. Light streams into the dome, and Yeri almost shouts in glee at the mere sight and sensation of sunlight on her skin.

 

It’s been too long.

 

“Please feel free to come back if you so desire,” he says solemnly, and Yeri pulls a brief face.

 

“Uh, about that—”

 

“Something tells me that the chances of us coming back are extremely low,” Joy interjects, taking Yeri’s hand, and the younger girl throws her head back and laughs in the face of everything.

 

“Any regrets?” Joy asks Yeri quietly as they begin to step forward into the bright light. As they pass through Shelter’s tunnel, Joy can start to see their truck, with Joy’s beloved motorcycle and their arsenal, parked outside. Mr. Lee must have known that he stood no chance of persuading them to stay.

 

Yeri shakes her head. “No.”

 

Behind them, the gates begin to close. Yeri hears the screeching of the hinges, and the cacophony grates against her ears in the worst of ways, but she can’t bring herself to regret her decision. Not when she’s next to Joy.

 

“Yeri!”

 

Yeri whips her head around to see Saeron waving from behind the closing gates.

 

“Yeri, you better stay alive, you idiot!” Saeron screams, face red, her words coming out strangled.

 

Yeri smirks, merely saluting her friend before allowing Joy to take the lead, bringing them back out into the open wilderness.

 

—

 

Acacias

 

Seulgi was ready to raise hell the moment she sees the truck speed by them.

 

They’d been out on a simple perimeter patrol, just Seulgi and Irene cruising along the iron fence in the sports car. Having gotten out to do a short survey of a barren area, it’s like time slowed down as truck passed, and the young leader’s eyes widened as she recognized the two familiar faces in the driver and passenger seats.

 

“Irene,” Seulgi had said lowly, her tone dangerous. “Irene.”

 

The older girl had already been opening the door to the sports car, eyes glinting. “I won’t stop you this time. You’ve been teaching me about self-worth, Seul. And I’m going with you— opportunity cost and whatnot. Let’s go get them.”

 

Seulgi had to resist the urge to press a searing kiss against Irene’s lips right then and there.

 

Damn, she loves this girl.

 

But now, things have gotten a lot more complicated. Because they’d managed to catch the troublesome duo, Seulgi’s sports car more than fast enough to catch up, but there are other matters at hand that suddenly came to light.

 

Seulgi slams her knife into the ground, a mere few inches away from one man’s face.

 

“Where are they?!” Seulgi shouts commandingly. “Where are the people you stole this truck from?!”

 

“What are you talking about?” The man spits back rather unconvincingly. Seulgi narrows her eyes at him scrutinizing him under the midday sun. “We didn’t steal this from anyone!”

 

“We plundered all of it ourselves!” The second man adds through grit teeth from where Irene had tied him up to a nearby tree. “Every single piece of it!”

 

“Oh spare me,” Irene hisses, and Seulgi can’t help but feel a bit excited. It’s the first time Irene has let herself loose like this, let herself dominate the situation like nobody’s business.

 

The older girl stalks her way over, having finished inspecting the truck. Clenched in her right hand is a rainbow tie-dyed backpack, filled to the brim with novels.

 

“I highly doubt you’d be too into Nicolas Spark’s The Notebook,” Irene seethes, shouldering the backpack. “And even then, I doubt that either of you would have any need for the motorcycle in the back, especially when you can hardly drive a van properly. No, you stole this truck from someone, and now they’re stranded in the wilderness.”

 

Seulgi feels the crude feeling of disgust in the base of her body, starting from her toes and moving upward. No. Oh god, no. Too much death... too much...

 

“So,” Irene singsongs, and even Seulgi feels the hairs on her skin stand up at the chilling sound. Thank goodness that she and Irene are on the same side— she never wants to know what it’s like to be on the opposing team. “I suggest that you tell me where you left the original owner of this bag.

 

“Right now.”

 

—

 

Forget-Me-Nots

 

Wendy’s not usually one to stick around in the communications room— that’s more of Solar and Jisoo’s type of thing. But today, Eunji had offered to handle communication duties, and what kind of girlfriend would Wendy be if she left Eunji alone?

 

It’s probably fate that she’s in the room on this particular day, because the moment Wendy hears Seulgi’s slightly breathy but firm tone over the radio, Wendy makes a mad dash for the nearest walkie-talkie.

 

“Seulgi?!” Wendy calls into the device as Eunji hastily joins her. “Seul, what’s wrong?”

 

“Wendy, I need you and Eunji to rally all the runners! Oh, and we’ll need you too, just in case!”

 

“Why? What’s going on?”

 

“We caught the two douchebags who kidnapped Irene those months ago.” Wendy inhales sharply. “They stole an entire truck of goods from these two girls, and now they’re stranded. Wendy, there was a hoard of living dead nearby! We need to find them and help before it’s too late!”

 

“Y-yes of course!” Wendy stammers, but it’s Eunji that immediately jumps to action, clicking through the radio channels and summoning each and every single runner available.

 

“We’ve got this, Seulgi,” Eunji says, her expression and tone calm, but Wendy knows that her girlfriend is repressing the urge to let pure adrenaline take over. “I’ve sent out code red signals to our teams. We’ll split up around the vicinity, find that hoard, and save those girls.”

 

“Great!” The relief in Seulgi’s voice is a bit more than evident. “We’ll get started here. Irene and I have got the sports car. Can you come collect the truck of supplies and goods with Wendy, Eunji? It’s really close by the complex. We’ll wait until you get here, since just me and Irene on our own won’t do much good.”

 

“Sounds like a plan, Seul.”

 

“Don’t do anything rash!” Wendy swiftly slips in before Seulgi can hang up.

 

Seulgi laughs. “Will do, Wendy.”

 

—

 

Irises and Orchids

 

Yeri shudders as Joy draws the younger girl in, her hold on Yeri defensive and protective. She grips Yeri’s shoulder blade, pushing her as close to her own body as humanly possible. Yeri buries her face into the fabric of Joy’s black hoodie, trying to find comfort in its warmth.

 

It’s funny, actually, how this position had become something natural for them. The comfort and safety that they’d found in each other, forged in their trust and deepened over time. Now it’s something that they don’t even need to physically recognize anymore. They simply are.

 

Yeri doesn’t want to let go. Ever.

 

“Joy,” she whimpers, never having felt so helpless. Her fingers press insistently into Joy’s hoodie. “Joy, what do we do?”

 

Joy grits her teeth, pained by the feeling of uselessness.

 

“I don’t know,” she admits, defeated.

 

They’d been ambushed. A two-man team had found where they’d set up camp and stole their stuff— the truck, their arsenal of weapons (yes, Joy’s shotgun and Yeri’s crossbow), the motorcycle. Practically everything gone, just like that. All that’s left is Joy’s backpack.

 

Joy had erupted, screaming out in frustration when they’d finally given up the fruitless attempt of chasing the thieves on foot. Yeri, with tears in her eyes, had shook her head, pulling Joy into another one of their hugs, letting the older girl tangle her fingers in Yeri’s short hair as she whispered words of hope into Joy’s ears. We’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. We’re together, and we’re alive. We’ll be okay.

 

But now they’re surrounded on all sides. The zombies – those stupid creatures of the damned – must have smelled their fear, because not even an hour later, the duo had found themselves trapped within an old building they’d visited in hopes of looting, only to find that it had already been cleared.

 

They’re trapped.

 

Utterly, hopelessly trapped.

 

Yeri can hear them right through the thin walls of the abandoned house. There’s nowhere to run— no sign of civilization for miles. They’re completely alone, with only each other to bear.

 

“Joy,” Yeri whispers again, running a hand up and down Joy’s arm to try and calm the older girl down. “We’ll be okay.”

 

“How do you know?” Joy whispers back, just barely audible over the noise of the groaning dead outside. “How can you be so sure?”

 

“Because I’m with you,” Yeri replies, simple. “I’m always okay when I’m with you, and we’re best when we’re together. Until the end of the world.”

 

“This world has already gone to ,” Joy chuckles humorlessly, but her eyes turn soft as she sees the way Yeri looks at her— like Joy had just single-handedly saved the human race, like Joy had meant something on this dilapidated earth. She takes a deep breath. “But we are still together, aren’t we? I think we’ve probably set a new record for the longest a duo has managed to survive alone out here in this place.”

 

“I think so too,” Yeri giggles lightly. She must be going insane, as her giggles increase in volume, to not even care about whether the walking dead can hear her or not. They’re about to get eaten by zombies and here she is, laughing about their accomplishments. “And they said at Shelter that we wouldn’t make it past 20 kilometers from that dome.” Had it all been for nothing? “Yet here we are!”

 

Joy laughs too, genuine this time.

 

“Here we are,” Joy repeats, gazing at Yeri fondly.

 

And then the younger girl grows quiet, her face turning somber.

 

“I don’t want to be one of them,” Yeri says quietly.

 

Joy is silent.

 

Then—

 

“I have a gun,” Joy says. Slowly, she sets down her backpack, pulls out the shiny revolver as Yeri watches her wordlessly.

 

“There are only two bullets,” the older girl whispers. The groaning outside grows louder, but Joy and Yeri pay no mind.

 

“But that’s enough, right?” Yeri says, and Joy nearly gets whiplash as her eyes snap up to meet Yeri’s calm gaze.

 

“I’m scared,” Joy confesses for the first time, and the short-haired girl’s composed facade is shattered. (In the distance the sound of shattering windows can be heard.)

 

“Me too,” Yeri admits, voice cracking like little shards of glass, embedding themselves into Joy’s skin. “I’m scared too.”

 

“But we’ll be okay, though,” Joy states, echoing Yeri’s words from earlier.

 

Yeri nods silently. Her hand outstretches, and Joy smiles at the silent question in her eyes before lacing their fingers together.

 

“I love you, Yeri.” Joy says, honestly, genuinely, and a smile blossoms across Yeri’s features.

 

Yeri’s smile is watery. “I love you too, Joy. I wanted to live with you forever. I want to live with you forever.”

 

“Anything for you, Yerim,” Joy says.

 

—

 

Irises and Orchids

 

And then the world explodes, and everything falls to ruin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued.