poster thanks to Sooheelocker of sooheelocker poster request shop!!

Chapter 4

Dara's alarm went off bright and early the next morning. She'd been awake for some time already, just laying there looking at the ceiling. She turned off the alarm and pulled the comforter over her head, wishing she could hide under there forever, wishing she could sleep. She felt so tired, but she had to get up.

Last night had been one more sleepless night in a long month where lack of sleep had become the norm. When she'd finally put her head on the pillow, she saw her bathroom scene with Jiyong on repeat. She'd had no intention of sleeping with him before her deadline. But when he'd touched her; when he'd kissed her, she'd fallen apart in his arms. If Jaejoong hadn't knocked on that door, she wouldn't have thought twice about letting him have her there and then. She'd never had in a public place before. Never.

That incident had only proved to her how dangerous marrying Jioyng would be. She couldn't keep her balance around him, she couldn't maintain control of herself and she couldn't say no. She laughed bitterly, remembering how she'd told Jiyong he didn't like to be out of control. That had been a projection. She didn't want to be out of control, and that was exactly how he made her feel.

She felt so much desire for the man that it scared her. She'd been waiting a month for him to kiss her and when he had, it had far surpassed any fantasy she'd had about the moment. Once they started sleeping together, she had no hope of keeping her emotions out of it. She understood that. She'd never been very good at keeping and emotions separate.

He'd given her such logical reasons for them to get married, but she still believed that love should be the number one reason for marriage. She knew that she could fall in love with Jiyong; but she didn't want to, not when she would be falling alone. Relationships weren't meant to be like that. How could he possibly expect things to work? Jaejoong's words floated through her head for the hundredth time since he'd said them, 'it'll never work.'

The only things she had to hold onto were anger and resentment. They would stop her falling in love. She hoped. If she felt more for Jiyong than he felt for her, then that meant he had all the control. After he'd essentially forced her hand and made her marry him; and considering his money gave him the power to do almost anything he wanted, was it so wrong that she wanted to maintain some shred of control in this relationship?

There was a knock on the door, before her mother walked into the room.

"Dara, you need to get up. The big day is here." Her mother's smile and enthusiasm were a stark contrast to her own feelings of dread about the day ahead.

"Just give me a minute," she told her mother, "I'm just saying goodbye to my bed since I'll never sleep in it again. It deserves a moment."

"It is a nice bed, Dara but I'm sure Jiyong's bed will be nicer," her mother said with smile and a wink.

"Mom!" she exclaimed.

Her mother giggled like a schoolgirl. "If I was a bit younger and single…"

"Okay, stop, stop," said Dara putting up her hand, not wanting to hear the rest. "I'm getting up."

"I've made you a hot breakfast. You can't have an empty stomach on your big day. We don't want you fainting."

Food was the last thing she wanted, but she didn't really want to faint today, not in front of all the cameras that would be there.

"I'm getting in the shower. I'll be down soon."

As she got out of bed she noticed that the sun was shining. She didn't think today was worthy of sunshine. It felt like it should be more of a lightning, thunder and torrential rain kind of day.

She showered, dressed and made her way downstairs where her family were waiting for her. Their happy faces, smiles and jokes lightened her mood the slightest fraction and she relaxed for almost one full minute, before her stomach clenched and she remembered the wedding. She looked at her mom, dad, and Sanghyun. This was all for them, she reminded herself; all for them.

They arrived at the chapel with plenty of time to spare. Her dress and belongings had driven to the church yesterday, as well as all the bits and pieces needed to turn her into a princess for a day. The reception was being held down the block, at a venue reserved just for wedding receptions.

Gummy was waiting for her by the church entrance.

"Hey Girl, ready for your big day?" Gummy greeted, giving her a tight hug, before she pulled away to look at her. "Did you get any sleep last night? Never mind. Make-up is a wonderful thing."

Dara was only having one bridesmaid. She may not be getting married at City Hall, but she had opted to keep the wedding as simple as possible. Jiyong's best man, Seung Ri, had flown in from Florida a few days ago. The two had played college football together and Jiyong had told Dara that Seung Ri was the only guy for the job of best man.

As Dara got ready, she was aware of her breakfast churning in her stomach. She hoped it would stay down during the ceremony. The closer they got to the ceremony starting time, the more on edge she felt. She snapped at Gummy twice and her mom once. She felt terrible, but they just laughed and made a joke out of it.

"Oh Sweetie, you look so beautiful," her mother told her, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Your father and I are so proud of you, Dara."

Dara stood in front of the mirror and ran her hands over the dress. She was wearing a Vera Wang white strapless wedding gown. The bodice was fitted, and accentuated her bust, whilst the skirt flared out. It was simple but elegant. Her hair was pinned so that half of it sat curled on top of her head whilst the rest was left down. Her bouquet was a simple combination of white roses and lilies.

"Yeah, Dara, Jiyong is going to flip-out when he sees you," Gummy said, as she pinned the veil in Dara's hair.

Dara didn't know whether it was the veil being placed on her head, or the mention of his name which triggered the attack, but all of a sudden she was having a lot of trouble breathing. She started breathing so fast she simply couldn't take in enough oxygen.

"Can't breathe," she tried to tell them, clutching her chest.

She couldn't do this, she thought. She couldn't go through with it. It was wrong. This was meant to be the happiest day of her life, but instead it felt like the end of her life. She'd find a way to repay Jiyong every cent. She couldn't marry a man who didn't love here. She couldn't.

Jiyong didn't like this one bit. She was late; later than she'd promised him she'd be. He pulled at his tie, finding the darn thing too tight. Dara had told him she was going to marry him. She was now technically twenty minutes late, and he was starting to sweat. He didn't do sweating; he didn't do clammy hands, he didn't do nerves, but as every second ticked away, he found himself checking his watch continuously and fearing the worst.

"Relax hyung," Seung Ri told him, when he saw Jiyong checking his watch for the third time in a minute. "No-one's going to leave Kwon Jiyong at the altar. Heck, if I was a woman I'd marry you."

He hated it. He hated how nervous he was, he hated that he wanted this so much, and he hated that she was making him feel this way. After what seemed like an eternity, Sang Hyun walked over to him and handed him his phone.

"It's Gummy," he told Jiyong. "She says Dara is having som