***

Saejin set the food neatly, keeping the portion of fried chicken and the sauce separated and nice looking on the platter, then placed them carefully on the wooden table. The smell from the food had already provoked her smell sense for a while since Mirae displayed it right in front of her face. And she, for the sake of her metabolism –she claimed, couldn’t wait any longer to eat those shiny fatty chicken wings and thighs. Geez! She must be drooling in a sec.

“So! What about you and Mr.Park?” Mirae asked, a little too sudden, making Saejin who was already an inch away from the chicken backed off. The look from her bestfriend seemed so serious. Her eyes narrowed and blazed with curiosity, a line appeared between her brows and Saejin swore, she could implausibly feel the flare from her nostril.

“Hmm….” Saejin’s eyes flickered in anticipation. Honestly she didn’t know what should she explained to her bestfriend when actually she didn’t have any idea of how exactly her relationship with Chanyeol was. She knew that she and Chanyeol were going better as the time went by, in some ways or maybe to some extent she didn’t understand. It was a lie to call it platonic with those affectionate kisses and the much amount of intimacy they subconsciously shared recently, but it might be too much and illusory to call it romantic for the lack of appropriate response and the awkwardness moment happened here and there between them. It was something in between that Saejin knew. Something which was undeniably absurd and indescribable. In this case, her relationship with Chanyeol inclined to be more complex or maybe more……. exclusive.

Hell! What a ridiculous thought she had!. Saejin shook her head a bit in hope to get back the logic.

“We’re just…. like… what you see!” Saejin said randomly, not wanting to give a clear explanation and otherwise shrugged her shoulder. She held the platter towards herself and without pretentious manners, she grabbed a chicken wing, ripping a chunk off with her teeth. The taste was a little bit oily but it was appetizing nevertheless. If only she could get one shot of beer, everything would be perfect. Chicken and beer indeed, was the best pair ever.

Mirae definitely didn’t seem to like Seajin’s lack of response at all, her brows furrowed even more, “Ya! What kind of explanation is that? Give me detail! I need detail!”, she snapped, eyes bored into Seajin who was busy shoving everything to .

Saejin stopped munching the food and glared at her bestfriend. She grabbed the nearest water bottle and drank it in one go leaving only half, “Listen Mirae!” she roughly rubbed with her sleeve and took a deep sight. Seriously, she didn’t like Mirae being too curious like this, especially to the things she didn’t want to confer. Curious Mirae wasn’t her cup of tea, it was annoying. Ugh! Was their two years of friendship even worth it?!, “I don’t know either, I mean… me and Chanyeol.., I don’t know what we are aside from being the boss and the employee, I’m clueless….of our relationship..” she could feel the desperation creeping in her heart.

“Are you two lover?” Mirae asked, which sounded more like a statement rather than simply a question

“What?! No! I mean not yet!”

“Not yet?”

“Yes! I mean no! we are just…., I don’t know what we are!!!” Saejin wailed in agony, she was rumbling non sense. Actually, the thing she should do right now was just to think carefully, shouldn’t she? She had to manage her explanation by arranging, evaluating, and even synthesizing his thought, that was just how human being normally think. However, Saejin wasn’t in the stage of normal this moment, she had a habit to talk without thinking. Yes, was that faster than her brain, and she didn’t like the fact, yet she couldn’t help.

Mirae folded her arms on her chest and laid on the back rest. She looked contemplating, but no, Saejin more than knew she just had something in mind that she would like to convey after this, “Maybe Mr. Park loves you..” she said, like it was just something light as informing the weather of the day.

Hearing what Mirae said, Saejin was shaken a bit but her face remain unfazed, it was the unfunniest joke she had ever heard in her life, “Stop talking illogical stuff Mirae, it wasn’t amusing” she let a dry laugh and just gave her bestfriend exasperated look. How can a person like Park Chanyeol loved her, there was no reason for him to do so. Let alone the fact that she used to bully him back then, loving her was just the least thing Chanyeol would probably do. He was the eligible bachelor tho, he could find a woman he wanted as easy as flipping the back of his hand.

“How do you know Saejin? I saw everything!” Mirae exclaimed, “You two were kissing each other passionately like there is no tomorrow, poor my eyes for seeing such an scene!” she pat the tip of her eyes gently as if by doing that, the scene she saw a while ago will be erased, “The way he touched you….oh my god! It was not the way a person supposed to do to someone who just a mere friend Seajin, it was so gentle, slow, and soft like touching a treasure. The way your lips brushed each other’s, so hard, sloppy, and lustful” Mirae said in wonder, “Not to forget when his hand rested below your ear, and his thumb caressing your cheek as your breaths mingled with him. Friends wouldn’t do that! Don’t you know?!” she grabbed both Seajin’s hand to give reassurance.

“But Mirae-“

“He tenderly kissed your forehead too! What do you think is that?!”

“It’s just-“

“And squeezed your hand!!”

“Gosh! How long you’ve been here?!!” Saejin hissed, her bestfriend knew too much.

“Told you I know everything!!” Mirae retorted, “Mr. Park loves you…”

“Mirae… you are talking non-sense, he doesn’t love me the way you think he is. I don’t know what we are to be honest but he’ll not love me… for sure..” a slight of bitterness gnawing in her heart. Saying that Chanyeol would not love her made her sad all of sudden.

Mirae retracted her hands back to her chest, “Are you convincing yourself?” she scrutinized her bestfriend with squinted eyes

“What?? No…I’m..not..” or was she? Chanyeol did said that she used to be his first love back then, but it was a long time ago. He didn’t give her an exact answer of how he felt to Saejin right now. Was there any possibility that he still loved her? or maybe just like her?. The thought of Chanyeol probably loved her made Saejin’s heart warm in happiness. But no Saejin! No! He wasn’t for you, not anymore. She brutally shook her head. “That was the reality Mirae, he doesn’t love me..” she muttered slowly.

“Very well then,” Mirae chose to brush it off, “But how about you?” she slightly changed the question

“Me?”

“Yes, do you love him?”

The question made Saejin taken aback, a lot of thought running in her brain and she felt confuse out of nowhere, she didn’t know how to answer Mirae’s question this time. Her feeling in her heart, she didn’t recognize it yet. She was afraid it was just a mere euphoria, “I-I’m……actually..”

The sound of door being slided open was heard, Chanyeol turned in bringing some beverages and snacks in both hands, “I buy something, in case you want some..” he saw two women in front of her, but they both looked like as if they had seen a ghost. “Is there something wrong?”, he asked, looking baffled, his already wide eyes bulged out in bewilderment.

Mirae cleared and stood from her seat, “No Mr. Park, we’re just… you know.. hmm.. talking about a woman stuff, nothing’s important” she robotically giggled at the end, “Oh I think it’s late already, I should get going” she informed, once she check the time at her wrist watch.

Chanyeol just chuckled, “It’s still 8 tho, no need to rush. You can proceed the chit chat, I’ll just wait outside” he said after putting all the food on the table, then took a turn to left the room

“Oh.. No Mr.Park” Mirae abruptly stopped Chanyeol, she waved her hand as sign to subtly reject the idea, “I have some workload to do, and the deadline is tomorrow. Mrs. Kim will surely mad at me if I haven’t finished it..” she gave an apologetic smile

“How unfortunate…..” Chanyeol managed to felt sorry for Mirae, “Mrs. Kim can be such a pain in the , I understand that...” the joke leaving a blooming laughter in the room, melting away the awkward tension, “Well then, you can take the drinks and snack with you. Let’s say that this is a part of employee-benefit program” he smiled sheepishly

“Thank you Mr.Park, those will be useful” without waiting, Mirae brought the food and took her leave, not forget to give a slight bow to Chanyeol and a ‘Get well soon’ to Seajin.

Once Mirae had left, silence was surrounding the room. Saejin decided to continue eating chicken that now had been already cold, and Chanyeol just took a seat and ate sandwich he bought earlier. No one was willing to initiate conversation, each of them was busy with their own thought.

Saejin still couldn’t get rid of Mirae’s question a moment ago, she warily eyed Chanyeol who was now engrossed with his cellphone, probably checking some reports or replying emails. It was like a speculative thought that she has a potential to love the man. She was happy recently when the CEO was around, her heart beat a little faster when they are nearing each other, his ears are cute, she liked his voice too. Were those some of the symptom of falling in love? She ever had a boyfriend when she was at senior high, but she didn’t really love him. It was because all her bestfriends had had a boyfriend, that was why she was willing to accept the man’s love back then, tho halfheartedly. So, she didn’t really understand how falling in love actually felt like.

Too preoccupied with her mind, Saejin didn’t realize that she ate too fast until she felt clogged with the food. She gasped for the air and tried hard to swallow it as fast as possible, coughing in the process. She then felt Chanyeol patting her back and then gave her a glass of water.

“Eat slowly..” he said, as Saejin was drinking the water from him. His hand was still loyally on her back.

Knowing that Chanyeol was taking care of her made her cheek blush. Saejin was sure that the blush was a result of the cold winter outside and not of the large hand that is currently rubbing her back, soothing her after she choked on her food. She convinced herself of this because thinking otherwise probably would cause a bout of delightful shivers through her spine and she might not be able to sit properly after this.

She surreptitiously looked up at the man towering beside her, and she barely stopped herself from sighing like a lovestruck idiot. Chanyeol was always gorgeous, from the tops of his wind-ruffled hair to his pretty chocolate eyes and his strong, firm arms to his endless legs. Chanyeol wasn’t exactly perfect but he certainly looked delicious, especially when he rolled up his sleeves up to his forearms. Luckily, he had changed into a hoodie (which resulted him to seem younger that his actual age). He looked no less adorable but there was less exposed skin that Seajin strangely may or may not wanted to sink her small teeth into. Hell! She was up!

It didn’t cover the male’s scent though. That masculine, masculine smell which sometimes could make Saejin’s mouth water. Chanyeol smelled like heaven. Like a pine tree and the air after the rain. Like warm cuddles and long, lingering kiss.

Unlike me, Seajin internally groaned. She must be smelling like antiseptic right now.

“You have to be careful ..” Chanyeol sounds worried, hands still rubbing Saejin’s back, “What if it blocks your breathing huh? It’s dangerous..” Now as Seajin was calm, he was back to sit again.

Seajin internally whined of a sudden loss of warm on her back, “I’m sorry..” eyes lowered

I don’t want to see you hurt. “No, don’t be sorry, it’s okay…, just be careful”, Chanyeol took a piece of paper towel, he grabbed Seajin’s oily hands and rubbed them with it diligently.

Saejin flustered, her heart was thumping so loud. She hoped Chanyeol would not hear her vigorous heartbeat. What should she do? She was torn between retracting her hands or not, but eventually she chose the former.

“Tomorrow you’ll be discharged right?” Chanyeol asked

“O-oh y-yes..” She was stammering

“I’ll drive you then..”

“O-okay..”

***

The ride going back home was silent. Not the eerily silence that felt so sickening, but it was the type of silence that was calming and tranquil, only the sound of For Life by EXO which was filling the car. As they arrived at Seajin’s apartment, Chanyeol accompanied her till in front of the door of her unit.

“Well, thank you. See you around” Seajin said softly, reluctant to leave Chanyeol’s company. She forced herself to turn around and go inside, but she couldn’t help looking over her shoulder to get a last glimpse of him, though, and she almost walked into her door when she saw the CEO held his hand up and asked, “Uh, Saejin… are you free this Saturday?”

The assistant’s heart slammed into her chest. Oh my god. Saturday is weekend. And it looked like Chanyeol was going to ask him out. Oh my god. Will he?

“Yes” Saejin squeaked before she cleared and let out a calmer, “I mean, I am. Why?”

Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, my friend Kyungsoo has a friend namely Jongdae who get his solo performance at the open grounds downtown this weekend, in a recital or something, there are some idols performing too. He gave me two tickets, and um, if you’re free-maybe we can go together? And um, have a dinner after that?”

“Like a date?” Seajin blurted out and she wanted to punch herself because Chanyeol looked positively taken aback

“A date? No, no, um, of course not. Just um, not a date”

“In that case, yes, I’m free” the assistant answered quietly, though inside she was rolling in despair. “What time is it?”

“It’s at seven.. so I’ll pick you up at six?” Chanyeol asked and he looked eager like a puppy.

Seajin forgot her disappointment momentarily and nods, “Six it is”

She gave Chanyeol a wave and then quickly escaped into her apartment, leaning her back weakly against the door. “You idiot”, she whispered into the darkness of the room, “Of course it’s not a date. What were you thinking?”

But if she was being honest, she wished quite fervently that it was.

--

“Stupid” Chanyeol scolded himself as he repeatedly banged his head on the steering wheel once he got inside the car, “Stupid, stupid, stupid”

He almost did it. He almost asked Saejin out. But of course he was dumb and he went all chicken out. It was just when Saejin asked him if it was a date, she looked anxious and wary, so Chanyeol was quick to deny it, even if he badly wanted for it to be one. Perhaps, he was indeed still a coward just like what Seajin said.

***

The weather was nice that Saturday night, it made you want to laugh out loud in glee or break into christmas jingle. The air is brisk but somewhat magical, at least that was what Saejin thought. He had been feeling courageous, too courageous till she bravely hanging onto Chanyeol’s arm from th