Acceptance
Writings on the wallsLying is perhaps not the term Baekhyun is looking for, but he didn't exactly tell Chanyeol the truth either. Years of being apart has created a bridge between them that Baekhyun is afraid, he might never cross again. Sure, he missed his best friend, but that doesn't make it any less complicated.
Being back to a place that brings back so many memories it's overwhelming and it makes a whole bunch of emotions he thought were forgotten to surge back up. All this time trying to convince himself that he was over the past, that there was no more feelings left in him crushed by his true reality in just a few seconds. He loved Chanyeol and he still loves him now, he never stopped, but he refuses to acknowledge something he knows will only bring the both of them pain. He wasn't sure he was ready to love the prince back then and he knows he's not ready to do it still. For that, he first has to come to terms with himself and with what happened years ago and if that didn't work out in the nine years he was away, Baekhyun doesn't know if being in a place that was a huge part of his childhood, with a man that makes his heart go high wire every time he's near, will be of help.
Maybe telling Chanyeol all those harsh words wasn't the best way to handle the situation either, but there are bonds he doesn't want to rebuild, feelings he doesn't want to feel and keeping the older prince away is the only choice he has, even if that means hurting him and himself. He's here to fulfil a duty, like Chanyeol himself said, there's no more escape from it and he's willing to go with it, if only, because he once made a promise to his mother on her deathbed. It took him a while to realize how important it was to her and even if she's not around anymore, even if she did a very poor job at loving him, he's not to break that promise. He didn't come back entirely against his will, he might have lied to Chanyeol on that too.
Sighing, Baekhyun pulls on the hems of his jacket to fix it and runs his fingers through his hair to mess it up a little. Pulling a stunt like he did with Chanyeol's advisor and the members of the Council by locking himself in the throne room was a childish move, he admits it, but he needed to see Chanyeol first and test the waters before completely jumping into his new life. At least he now knows Chanyeol is not mad at him for ditching him the way he did all those years back. The fact that they were just kids had Baekhyun trembling in fear that the older would hold any kind of resentment against him. He should have known better. He should have known that no matter what, Chanyeol would never hold any grudge on him and that's what scares Baekhyun the most. Chanyeol had always lived to please Baekhyun, even in the smallest of things.
Removing the long candle holder, Baekhyun lets the heavy doors finally open, coming face to face with a very stressed-looking Advisor Kim. Their eyes widen in surprise, but Baekhyun has no mind on paying real attention to that as his eyes slowly roam around the hall looking for Chanyeol, but he isn't there.
"Your Highness!" Advisor Kim exclaims, bowing repeatedly as a matter of apology. Baekhyun almost scoffs; if anything, it should be him the one apologizing. "We are very sorry if we somehow—"
Baekhyun closes his eyes and holds his breath in. He raises a hand to make the advisor stops talking. "Just take me to my bedroom, please." The prince mumbles, hoping the man will hear him, he ha
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