"Hanbin... It's late. What are you doing here?"

There goes the girl who has been the apple of my eyes for years and still hasn't change. I could smell myself and judging by the way she wrinkled her cute pointy nose, I could tell she could too. I felt my lips and my throat dry even when I've intake a lot more liquid that I could.

Even when I've drank to drown the pain away.

"Can't I visit you like this? We always see each other even late at nights." I slowly took the steps to reach her and even though I was staggering, I wished it was always this easy to get to her. "You love it even."

She crossed her arms and it was only now that I realized that she was barely decent. In no way would she let anyone see her like this. Pale white skin were only covered by that long black shirt and comfy shorts as if she was that fictional immortal in stories. Luscious lips as red and kissable as if she drank blood and it tainted her. Not to compare her with a cold hearted vampire or heartless monster but it seems like she'll live like this for a long time.

And I could love her forever like this.

She looks perfect now. Always have and always will. I could stand in front of her all day and stare at her all night but the ache in my chest never goes away no matter what I do.

I miss it so much. The way her eyes twinkle for me, the way her lips curve into a smile for me, the way her hand would always reach out for mine... They didn't disappear out of sight but it changed drastically. It changed with only a few letters yet it changed our lives ever since.

Those things that were for me became things that are for him.

"You should go home, Hanbin-ah."

She's pushing me away but with words that I've been used to hear a lot now, I could stay right here in her porch for however long it takes. I sound like a creepy stalker. I'm even disgusted for how I'm acting and what I'm like right now. I have everything a teenage boy wants in life but it's not enough.

It's never enough.

It's never enough to walk side by side with her in the streets knowing that he'll be the one holding her hand instead of me. It's never enough to look happy when I'm only acting because I know that she's happy now. It's never enough to only think of her as mine in m