Loud.

 

Terrifying.

 

Draining.

 

Forceful.

 

It’s the sound of the morning alarm that sets off the howling and whistling alarm system inside ChangKyun’s head. Thoughts of all and nothing, of everyone and no one rush into his head like a pack of wild boars. A million bells ring, signalling panic and sends waves of fear to his chest, his heart unable to decide between stopping and jumping out of his chest. Ten thousand sirens join the bells and his head is about to burst any second. And then it all stops. As if the wild boars rummaged through his skull and the left, taking every bit of energy from ChangKyun’s body.

 

Cold.

 

Eerie.

 

Menacing.

 

Deceiving.

His body shivers, his arms and legs unable to move, his head is dizzy as if it’s completely empty. There’s wind howling through the chest where his heart raged before and any movement causes almost physical pain. It would be easier not to move - not today or tomorrow, or the day after that or ever. Forcing himself out of the bed would bring nothing good - what good did he bring in general?

ChangKyun pulls the blanket over his head, his arm slow and heavy, and turns towards the wall. He hears voices outside, dishes clinging and rushing footsteps, but none of them approach the door. No one really has the reason to come in. It’s just him here, right?

Sleep starts to take over him again and he doesn’t fight it back at all.

 

Thick.

 

Heavy.

 

Dark.

 

Lonely.

 

Sleep is a salvation he treasures despite the night terrors that creep on him. Mostly it's just pitch black nothing and it is in a way comforting. It’s like an abyss he falls in never reaching the bottom - the walls around him just endlessly growing taller. He can hide in there in the fall - as he is now hiding under the blanket - and hope no one will find him, no one will even search for him there, let alone jump after him.

 

Steps quieter than wind rustling grass in a field enter the room. The blanket moves off ChangKyun, but it’s not yanked of forcefully - it’s lifted just enough for one more body slip under it. He can swear he can see a figure in his half dream state, somewhere at the very top of the high dark walls of the abyss of his dreams, launching forward in the nothingness. Arms wrap around him, his back pulled against a sturdy chest and  There’s a soft kiss on the top of his head and everything falls into perfect silence again.

 

Warm.

 

Bright.

 

Calm.

 

Tender.

 

Cracks of bright light appear in the eternal darkness wrapped around ChangKyun. They force their way up the walls of the void he was sinking in and grow in strength second by second. The light is not blinding, it’s not scalding or aggressive - it’s bright enough, warm and gentle and even though every movement still hurts ChangKyun is drawn to it.

He wants to stop falling and move towards the light. Selfishly he wants to absorb it all and make it chase this darkness away at least for a moment.

He let’s the blanket to fall off his head as he turns around. It feels wrong to look up at the source of this light and he just hides his face against the broad chest. His own arms with barely any strength left in them wrap around the middle of the other and he lets out a shaky breath.

 

Caring.

 

Safe.

 

Loving.

 

Reassuring.

 

His body is pulled closer again, pleasant warmth wrapping all around him and reviving his limbs that were left cold and lifeless. Tens of gentle kisses are laid on top if his head, random melodies hummed against his scalp while fingers draw patterns of no significance on his back. It’s not much, it’s not out of this world but it conveys every bit of care, of love the man holding him has and it’s more than enough.

 

“Thank you,” ChangKyun murmurs and finally looks up at the chestnut brown eyes looking down at him with all the love in the world, while still having this sad tint of concern in them.

The older of the two shakes his head and places a quick kiss on the tip of ChangKyun’s nose. “This the least I can do. I wish I could do more,” he says with a hint of helplessness in his voice and this time ChangKyun who has to shake his head.

“This is all I need,” he says and buries himself deeper into the embrace, recharging the batteries that had gone flat today. This was all he needed - to pull through at least another day. The man that was holding him with a sense of despair, sense of fear ChangKyun might slip away was all he needed to stay here and try to push forward again. It was enough. For now.

Notes:

Might be projecting something from my personal life onto them along with wishful thinking.. Sorry.
There are those mornings... when having a Wonho would be nice.