By the end of their second movie Jongin couldn’t stop yawning.  His mom suggested he call it a night and just go to bed, and though he wanted to argue (it was nice to spend time with her, something he hadn’t made a priority in a long time) he knew she was probably right.  It had been a trying day, and he was ready to put it behind him.

But when he laid down in his bed, lights out and blanket up to his chin, he couldn’t fall asleep.  His body was tired, but his mind wouldn’t slow down enough to turn off.  Twenty minutes went by and he was no closer to dreamland than he had been at noon.

He could try reading.  Reading helped people fall asleep, right?  Except he hadn’t bought any new books since middle school, and books meant for 12-year-olds didn’t sound all that appealing.  Maybe some soothing music would do the trick.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand next to his bed and opened his favorite music app, searching for something to help him relax.  He tried out a few different playlists until he came across one he liked.  And then his phone died.

Groaning, he reached over to the nightstand again to grab his charger, but couldn’t find it where it normally was.  He sat up and the lamp on the table to see if it had fallen on the floor, but it was nowhere to be found.  Then he remembered that he had used it in the living room the day before and dropped it… somewhere when he brought it back to his room.   He scanned his room quickly and spotted it on his desk.  Of course.

Jongin laid there, staring across the room, debating whether it was worth it to get up.  He didn’t need the music.  If he laid there long enough he would eventually fall asleep without it.  But he did need his alarm to wake up in the morning, which he wouldn’t be able to do without help if he didn’t get to sleep soon.  Ugh.  Jongin groaned again in resignation, tossing his blanket aside and standing up to head to his desk.

As he grabbed the charger from the cluttered mess that was his desk, he bumped a precariously balanced stack of papers and sent them fluttering to the floor.  He took a second to question the universe about why his life had to be that way and then bent down to pick them up.  As he set them back on the desk, only slightly more carefully balanced than before, the item sitting on top of the pile caught his eye.  It was the informational booklet the doctor had given him at the hospital.

He hadn’t bothered looking past the front cover when she had handed it to him at first, having been too overwhelmed by the news of his pregnancy to do much other than try not to cry, and then cry anyway.  Now that he was over the initial shock, it seemed like it would be a good idea to see what wisdom it had to share.

Dropping his charger back onto his desk (and not knocking anything over in the process), he slid into his desk chair and opened it up.  He skimmed through the few pages it contained, grimacing at the more detailed diagrams; he could have lived his life perfectly happy without knowing certain things about his own body.  It was useful, though, especially the list of websites on the back page.

He briefly considered looking at one of the sites listed under the ‘more information’ section just to see what it was like, but the memory of the pictures he had already seen was enough to convince him to wait until he was a little bit more mentally prepared for such a task.  Instead he decided to check out one of the support group sites, figuring it would be less traumatizing.  And it couldn’t hurt to connect with other people like him, people he could share his experiences with and get advice from.

He set the booklet to the side, opening his laptop on the desk in front of him and navigating his way to the group with the least silly sounding name.  When the main page loaded he was surprised to see that it was just a message board.  He had expected lots of cutesy, baby-themed decorations all over the page, but there was nothing more than a purple and green color scheme.  He wasn’t quite ready to dive into the world of all things baby just yet, so the simplicity of the site was a relief.

He perused the most recent posts on the front page, scrolling through them steadily until one in particular stood out to him.  Someone called Bbaek was asking who else was going through their first pregnancy, and if anyone was about as far along as he was.  Jongin fit the criteria, but didn’t know if he should say anything or just keep scrolling.  And then he realized that it would be stupid of him to bypass the opportunity to befriend the person.  That was exactly the reason he had visited the site in the first place. 

He clicked in the box to respond, but was stopped from doing so by a pop-up on the screen telling him that he needed to create an account to reply to messages.  Well that was frustrating.  A glance at the clock told him that it was a few minutes after ten, and he should really wait until the next day to start in on this journey, so he clicked the ‘create account’ button and set up his profile.  When he was finished he found the post again and was able to respond.

Hey, my name is Jongin.  I actually just found yesterday that I’m pregnant.  I’m about two weeks behind you.

Not knowing what else to say, Jongin hit send.  He sat there for a minute waiting to see if anyone else would add to the conversation, or if the original poster would reply to him.  It was a long shot considering it had been almost half an hour since it had first been posted, and he was the only one to respond so far.  Just before he could go back to the main page to continue looking through the other threads, a notification popped up at the bottom of the page announcing that there was a new reply.  He reloaded the page and read the new message that had appeared.

Hi, Jongin!  I’m Baekhyun.  Congratulations!  You must be so excited!  I know how happy I was when I found out.  My husband and I have been trying for a while now, so I almost couldn’t believe it when it finally happened.

Jongin couldn’t stop the bubble of sarcastic laughter that burst out of him as he read.

Congratulations to you, too.  That’s really great for you guys.  I don’t know if excited is the word I’d use.  More like extremely shocked.

It took less than a ten seconds for Baekhyun to reply.

Oh, so it was a… happy accident?  Were you and your partner not trying to get pregnant?

No, no they definitely were not trying to get pregnant.  And there for sure weren’t partners.  Jongin started typing a reply to clarify those points, but stopped when he remembered that it would be out in the open, available to anyone and everyone who happened to visit the site.  While no one would actually know who he was, he still didn’t like the idea of sharing his story with potentially the entire internet, so he deleted everything and started again.

Not exactly.  Hey, is there like a private messenger on this site?  I’d rather not have everyone see everything I have to say for now.

A few moments later a box popped up at the bottom of the screen with a message from Baekhyun.

Bbaek
Hey.  So you and your partner weren’t trying to have a baby?

Kji001
Uh, no.  I wasn’t trying to get pregnant.  And I don’t have a ‘partner’.

Bbaek
Oh.  So it wasn’t a happy accident either.

Kji001
Nope, not really.  Do you mind if I kind of word vomit at you for a minute?  Then we can get past this awkward part of the conversation.

Bbaek
Yeah, sure, go ahead.

Kji001
Ok, so, no I wasn’t expecting to get pregnant.  I didn’t even know I could.  Basically a few months ago my friend and I started fooling around every once in a while and one of those times we didn’t use a and boom, baby happened.  Except I didn’t know I was a carrier, so I just thought I was sick or something until I went to the hospital yesterday and found out I’m 7 weeks pregnant.  And when I told Sehun, the other father, he kind of had a non-reaction and then left and I haven’t heard from him since.

Bbaek
Oh, Jongin, I’m sorry.  I don’t really know what to say.

Kji001
It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything about it.  I really just wanted to meet someone I could talk to about being pregnant.  Like, to see if what I’m going through is normal and stuff.  I just figured it’s easier to get the uncomfortable stuff out of the way now instead of trying to hide it and then have you find out anyway.  So yeah, that’s my story.

When Baekhyun took longer than a few seconds to reply, Jongin thought maybe he had scared him off by spilling his guts like that.  He knew he would have been a little weirded out if someone had done the same to him.  But then Baekhyun’s rapid-fire responses started coming through and Jongin found himself laughing again, this time in amusement.

Bbaek
We can be pregnancy buddies!
We can keep each other updated on how things are going and share pictures and talk about names!
This is going to be so much fun!
Well, I mean, you know.
I know your situation isn’t exactly ideal for you.
I just want to help you get through it.
And, you know, make it as pleasant of an experience as it can be.
But don’t think you have to pretend to be happy about it if you’re not.

It was incredible how fast Baekhyun could type.  Jongin sat there staring at the screen in amazement as the little dot-dot-dot symbol appeared again, and he knew he had to cut in or Baekhyun would never stop trying to say the right thing.

Kji001
Dude, calm down.
It’s ok for you to be happy about your own life.
I won’t pretend to be happy if I’m not, but I’m not like wallowing in despair here.
That was yesterday lol.
But seriously, yeah, it’s kind of a ty situation, but life goes on.
This is my life now, so I’m going to make the best of it.
I’m looking forward to doing all the stuff you’re excited about J

Jongin didn’t know if he truly believed everything he had just said yet, but he was determined to do so soon.  He needed to believe that he was living his best life if he was going to give his baby their best life.

Bbaek
Wow, Jongin.  I really admire your courage.  Not everyone would look at it that way.

Kji001
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably freak out at some point.

Bbaek
Yeah, I guess that’s to be expected.  From everything I’ve researched so far it looks like pregnancy is going to be a wild ride.  And being unprepared for it can only make it seem more intimidating.

Kji001
I’m definitely not thinking about the fact that I know absolutely nothing and am entirely unprepared for this.  At least until the weekend.

Bbaek
Oh, , I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.  I’m sorry.

Kji001
Dude, you’ve really got to calm down.  I’m joking.  If anything you say bothers me I’ll let you know.
Don’t feel like you have to watch everything you say to me.  That will make me more uncomfortable than anything else.

Bbaek
…ok

Kji
Ok.
Hey, can we maybe talk more tomorrow?  I really need to go to sleep.  I have school in the morning.

Bbaek
Oh, are you in college?

Kji001
No, high school.

Bbaek
You’re in high school??  How old are you??

Kji001
18.  How old are you?

Bbaek
I’m 23.
Ok, don’t freak out about this, but I’m feeling very protective and parental over you right now.
Like, I really just want to hug you and give you hot cocoa and cookies and tell you everything is going to be ok.
Like, if you ever really need me to give you a hug and cocoa just say the word and I’ll literally get in my car right away.
I’m sorry if that sounds really weird.
, that does sound really weird, doesn’t it?

Kji001
Lol, chill.  It’s cool.
It’s actually weirdly comforting, so thanks.

Bbaek
You’re welcome :D

Kji001
Ok, I really do have to sleep.  It’s almost midnight.  But I’ll probably be around tomorrow sometime.  You listened to me vent, but I didn’t really give you a chance to tell me anything about you.
Thanks again.

Bbaek
Alright, sweetie.  I hope you sleep well.

Kji001
Goodnight.

Jongin exited the site and closed his laptop, but didn’t move from his chair right away.  He was happy he had decided to talk to someone.  It made him feel less alone, even though it was just someone on the internet, possibly thousands of miles away.  As much as he knew his mom would be there for him no matter what, it was different being able to confide in someone who was going through the same thing right along with him.  Not to mention it would be way less embarrassing asking questions to a computer screen than his mother.

With his mind somewhat at ease for the time being, Jongin thought he could probably finally fall asleep.  He stood up from his chair, back popping loudly as he stretched his arms over his head.  Then, grabbing his charger one more time, he made his way back to his bed, plugged his phone in, and flopped tiredly onto his back.  As his phone came back to life it vibrated with several notifications he must have gotten while it was off.  Jongin ignored the buzzing, his heavy eyelids slipping closed, and made a mental note to check them in the morning.

---

It was just after ten at night, and Sehun’s front door was finally within sight.  Only half a block more and he would be home.  All he wanted to do was fall into his bed and sleep for at least ten hours. 

As it turned out, the coffee shop was even busier in the evening.  Who knew people actually went on coffee dates?  Apparently that was really a thing people did, and the location he worked at was incredibly popular for it.  Business hadn’t slowed down until about nine o’clock, half an hour before closing time, and up to that point Sehun was moving non-stop.  He hadn’t even had time to think about how exhausted he was until the doors were locked.

Unfortunately he didn’t have the luxury of enjoying sweet, sweet unconsciousness just yet.  He needed a shower.  He had homework to do.  He needed food.  But most importantly he needed to talk to Jongin.

Knowing that he hadn’t said a single word to Jongin for more than a day weighed heavily on him, constantly hovering at the back of his mind through everything he did all afternoon.  His only concern at the moment was to talk to him, explain why he hadn’t done so sooner, and let him know that he had nothing to worry about.

All the windows were dark when Sehun walked up to his front door.  Assuming his parents were already in bed, he opened the door as quietly as possible to keep from waking them, but his cautiousness was proved unnecessary when he saw both of them sitting in the dark living room and looking at something on his dad’s laptop on the coffee table in front of them.

“Hey,” Sehun called to them in greeting as he closed and locked the door behind him.  They looked up in unison, surprise highlighted on their faces in the electronic glow of the computer screen.

“Sehun, you’re home,” his dad said, schooling his face into a neutral expression.

“We were wondering where you were,” his mom chimed in.  “What kept you out so late?”

Sehun wondered whether she was truly concerned, or if she was just worried that he was out getting up to something that would reflect poorly on their family.  She liked to think that they were much more important than they really were, and that the community kept a watchful eye on them at all times.  Sure, she and her husband both had good jobs and made an impressive amount of money, but it wasn’t enough for them to have the kind of status she so desperately wanted to believe they had.

However, her concern wasn’t without cause.  Sehun did have a tendency to get himself into some pretty sticky situations.  Any parent would be upset to have their teenage son escorted home by the police.  On more than one occasion.  It hadn’t happened in a few months, so she must have assumed that he was about due for some kind of trouble.

“Um, I got a job,” Sehun announced to them, the look of trepidation on his mother’s face only satisfying for so long.

His mother seemed to deflate where she sat.  “Sehun, I wish you wouldn’t lie to us.  It’s so disrespectful.  Your father and I do so much for you and you can’t even-“

Wait, what?

“Wait, what?”  Sehun cut her off.  That hadn’t been the response he had expected.  “No, for real, I got a job,” he insisted.

“Seriously?” his dad asked skeptically after a few seconds. 

“Yes, seriously.  My friend works at his uncle’s café, but he has too much homework now to keep up with a job, so he asked if I would take over for him.”  Was it really that hard to believe that he would do something responsible all on his own?  Ok, with Sehun’s track record, maybe he could see why they would be suspicious…

“Well, I’m… surprised?  Honestly I don’t know what to say.  I never expected something like this from you, Sehun.  I’m impressed.”  His dad actually looked like he might be happy.  Wow, that was new.  “What made you decide to do that?”

Oh.  Sehun probably should have seen that coming.  He’d been pretty vocal about not wanting a job for a long time.  For him to suddenly get one literally overnight…  He would definitely be just as curious if he were in their shoes. 

There was no way he could tell them the real reason, though.  He could just imagine how that would go – “Hey mom and dad, I accidentally got my best friend pregnant and now you’re going to have a grandchild with two fathers.  Oh, you’re kicking me out and you never want to see me or my unnatural offspring ever again?  Ok, bye.”  No, it was best to keep that a secret for as long as possible.  If he could get away with never telling them, he would be perfectly fine with that.  But his parents were still looking at him expectantly, so he had to come up with something to say.

“Uh, I mean, you know,” Sehun stuttered, searching for the most believable thing he could give them for now.  “You guys are always telling me I need to grow up and be more responsible.  I figured getting a job was an ok way to start.”  They still didn’t look one hundred percent convinced.  .  He needed to escape before they could interrogate him further.  He didn’t have the time or the brain power to sit through their questioning.  He wanted to sleep, and he still hadn’t talked to Jongin.  “Ok, well, I need to go to bed.  I have to go back in the morning before school for more training.”  He made his hasty retreat then, not sticking around to see either of their reactions. 

He leaned against his bedroom door as it closed behind him, taking a deep breath as the latch clicked into place.  He would definitely have to get his story straight if he was going to be in the same room as his parents for any length of time.  Or, you know, speak to them at all ever again.  He could only go on ‘I wanted to be more responsible’ for so long before they demanded a real reason.

But first, Jongin.

Sehun launched himself away from the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket and reaching for his charger as he sat on his bed.  The few seconds it took for it to turn on when it was finally plugged in were some of the longest of his life.  The relief that flooded him when he pulled up Jongin's contact and pressed call was like nothing he had felt before.

That relief was short-lived, however.  There wasn’t even a single ring before he was sent to voicemail.  Huh.  Was Jongin screening his calls?  Sehun wouldn’t blame him if he was.  After the way it must have felt like he was ignoring him, Sehun would probably be pretty pissed, too.  But that just made him more anxious to explain himself to Jongin. 

He tried calling again.  And again.  Then one more time.

Ok, no one was that fast at declining calls, which meant Jongin's phone must have been off.  That was unusual, but it made Sehun feel marginally more hopeful that Jongin wasn’t actively ignoring him.  For the moment, anyway. 

Obviously calling him any more wasn’t going to do him any good, so Sehun settled for sending him a text asking him to call him back as soon as he got it, no matter what time it was.  Once the message was sent he sat there with his phone in his hand, hoping against hope that he would get a response.  When five minutes had passed and nothing had appeared, Sehun accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted and went to shower.

He managed to get through finding something for dinner and doing as much of his homework as his over-worked brain could handle before he allowed himself to check his phone again.  Even though he had told himself to expect nothing, he was still disappointed when that was exactly what he got.  In fact, the message he’d sent earlier remained unread.  He knew it would be pointless to do so, but he couldn’t stop himself from sending just one more text before accepting defeat for the night.  He would just have to find Jongin at school in the morning and talk to him in person.

i'm sorry!!  i PROMISE they'll be back together in the next chapter! 

i bet you guys thought i was gone forever, didn't you?  surprise!  i'm not.  i'm really sorry it took so long to get this chapter to you.  real life happened.

so this chapter is a little bit longer than the others.  do you guys like longer chapters, or should i stick to shorter ones?  i think i caught most of the spelling/grammar errors, but if you guys see anything that needs fixed just let me know. 

please let me know what you guys think of this so far!  i appreciate every single comment i get.  they really help motivate me when i get stuck.

and don't forget to upvote if you like it!