(Rubatosis: the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat)

8 PM, The Union’s Headquarter,

Second week of February

I scrubbed it off.

Not enough, I grumbled and rubbed it harder. The blood stench was still thick in the air. The touch still lingered on my skin and ate up the surface like small fire ants that would not rest until I was swallowed whole. Disgusting. Dirty. I let out a choked cry and continued. The tears had long turned to frustration. Dirty, dirty, dirty. If only water and soap could cleanse the wound of the heart, I would not have suffered for so long. Despite the alarm ringing so loudly at the back, all I could do was scrub and wash, then wipe it off and started again.

Not long after, there was a knock on the door. I hissed and stood up, looking at the red mark all over my skin. There was also blood on some spots, though it was quite hard to tell from all the intense scrubbing for the last hour. The only place left untouched was my face, ashen and almost bloodless. At least those bloodshot eyes spoke of the truth. Streams of waters and tears mixed in together so I gently dabbed on my skin to wipe it all off. The knocking grew more persistent from what I suspected to be the higher-up’s lackeys coming to get me after their precious captives escaped. The plan was not foul-proof, but I had compelled at least one-tenth of the people in the facility over the last few days that their escapade was pretty much guaranteed. Whether they could trace it back to me was another matter.

I wore a long-sleeve to cover up and unhurriedly walked over to the door. As a new recruit, they allowed me a room near to the end, in a different part than Sehun’s, but closer to his than anyone else. We had never seen each other in the alleyways, though, assuming that the pale-skinned boy never really went to public areas. It had become more of a habit to greet Kris cautiously in the cafeteria than seeing Sehun, whose existence was almost invisible to others, except for that rare few times when he found me somewhere quiet and less crowded, and said a few ambiguous words to me.

There was a pair of fraternal twin waiting for me. The boy was gigantic, about several inches above two meters, while his sister was half in size. They were both red-heads with hair blazing like the sunset colour, extremely pale to the point that their skin were almost translucent, with wide blue eyes that were a little dull under the light. As soon as I opened the door, Doctor Lee, who had been standing a little further at the back walked to the front and greeted me with a smile that wasn’t quite right.

“What’s the matter, Doctor?” I, too, returned her hospitality with a temper of my own, voice that wasn’t too cold or light, just enough to be courteous, but not friendly. Her eyes flared for a split second, unused to such disrespect, before she straightened her back and thinned her lips, “Have you not heard of the alarm?” I raised my eyebrow without replying. “When the alarm rings seven times, that means alert to gather in the ground floor to evacuate. You should have gone down.”

“Oh,” I nodded carelessly, ignoring the twins’ menacing looks. Some of my wet locks fell in front of my face as I unapologetically replied to her, “Sorry for that. My bath couldn’t wait anymore.”

Quite frankly, I held grudges against this Doctor from the very beginning. First, she reminded me of everything I hated in a person – a white-coated doctor, a researcher with hidden for dissecting human bodies and using experiments as a cover-up, done tons of bad deeds in the name of justice, and a pretentious, heinous woman who could play the spiteful side-villain in a story. Two, she wronged me by kidnapping me – against will and consciousness – and consented to Lieutenant Kim’s interrogation just to achieve her end goals. I didn’t think I would forget what she had done to me, directly or indirectly.

Jane looked vexed, but she knew how to smile when it was appropriate to do so. Some of her hair was dyed white while her front locks and roots were black as night. As a woman of my mother’s age, she looked good had it not been for the viciousness of life marring her beauty with its fine lines and invisible scars. She rubbed both thumbs against her index fingers again and again in agitation as she changed her tone to a polite one, filled with hidden daggers, “It matters not now. The General wants you in his office immediately.”

Now that peaked my interest. Everyone talked about the Old General with such reverence although his existence was questionable. Nobody had seen him but Suho, and for that young man to show a little bit of respect for anyone that was not masked with ridicule, but a hint of apprehension, was slightly baffling. Suho, who split the ocean open with the power of his fist. But then again, this man was the successor of leader in the Union, an organisation that held the entire world and controlled the balance within its palm. If I didn’t meet him now, I might not have another chance to.

I pushed the nagging feeling and Daniel’s warning to the back of my head. After all, as long as my eyes were not blinded, I could defend myself against most things unless something unexpected happen. I didn’t need to worry much about getting myself hurt. Or at least, that was what I thought. I shouldn’t be wrong, right? ... Right?

* * *

We walked in silence, with Doctor Lee leading at the front and the twins guarding at the back. I didn’t react much, too lost in my own thoughts, nor did they try to strike off any conversation. It was almost too peaceful and quiet, even when we headed to the elevator and pressed the button to the top floor. To access the eight level, one needed to scan the fingers and the eyes before they were granted access, given that the entire floor belonged to the Old General and occasionally, his private guests. No one else was allowed, even the Elites.

The twin put their hands on the door and waited for it to open. I looked at my own reflection and saw the red mark all over my neck, like someone had just assaulted me in the worst way possible. My palms were bleeding slightly, although what was left on the back of my hands were dried blood and some opened wounds. Still quite dirty, I decided and scowled. After all was over, I would take another bath and scrubbed this all off. Hopefully by then, I would be able to cleanse all these impurities and shook off the itching on my skin.

At the top floor of this facility was a glass-made office room with breathtaking views of the stars-filled sky, shining dimly without the moon. In this place, we seemed to be closer to the universe than anywhere else in the earth that I had been to. For a moment, I was so taken by the ceiling that I forgot the purpose of coming here. Doctor Lee’s lips curved a little as she went over to one corner and stood there, while the twins turned to the door and guarded the entrance like a pair of guardian beasts. The chair moved and made a soft screeching sound that pulled my focus back to the source of that noise.

The seconds seemed to pass by very slowly. The Old General really was not that old, after all. In fact, he was anything but the image imprinted firmly on my mind. I thought of the General as a man with white hair, maybe with a little bit of facial hair to accentuate the strong jawline, and pale blue or dull grey eyes with fierce look and a cold-blooded smile. His skin would be fairly pale with hints of pink after missing the sun for so long, clothed in military uniform in a tall stature of six-feet and above at the very least.

The said-man stood, and although his aura was imposing, his physical description could not be further from my imagination with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, neither too warm, but it wasn’t exactly friendly, either. Instead of looking like a retired General, he wore tight grey tops that exposed a little of his chest and left the rest to imagination. His hair was grey, but the colour was clearly artificial, with his roots silver in colour, looking very much like a man in his late thirties instead of late forties. He was very good looking, especially with his neatly trimmed facial hair, like those former supermodels who still took great care of themselves. He reminded me of a face I couldn’t really remember.

“So this is Jung Sera, the woman you’ve been talking about?” He asked Doctor Lee without turning towards her direction. His voice was truly pleasant to the ear, a little low but husky and smooth. His stormy grey eyes were very expressive, despite the amount of secrets they concealed, and they were staring straight at me. I felt a sense of familiarity that I couldn’t quite pinpoint out, but it was bugging me because I felt like I knew him somewhere, a long, long time ago. Doctor Lee looked at us and answered with a very complicated expression, “Yes, General. This lady is that Jung Sera, the latest addition to the Hellbringers project you are raising.”

Hellbringers – an acronym for those who brought hell to earth, a perfectly befitting nickname for a team with uncontrollable power. Thirteen Hellbringers, thirteen kinds of chaos, altogether were powers collected from destruction and raised to be a double edged swords to the world. This was a project Jane had been working on for half of her life, with long, overdue research and the main reason this entire facility existed. Initially, she thought of Hellbringers as a team of superheroes, raised to save the world from Apocalypse. But now, she herself, wasn’t so sure anymore.

The General’s face was still smiling, still looking every bit of a gentleman. But something alarming quickly came to my mind. Like a few others, I could not read his mind at all, but this was a different kind of weird. There was no Shield, nor any kind of walls that protected his mind, but a barren land, almost as if someone had intentionally planted that kind of trap for counter-measurement against mind-readers. His hands tightly gripped the edge of the table as he called me forward, “Come here, Child. I want to see you better. You’re one famous troublemaker, you know that right?”

Jane’s face twitched a little, but other than that, she didn’t show any excessive reaction. I stepped forward until there were two steps left that separated the two of us. His eyes were almost magnetic, pulling everyone in with one glance. But something was still off, especially when he casually lifted my hand and shook it, all on his own accord. “Pleasure to meet you, Sera. I have heard a lot about you but never had the chance to see you face-to-face, and tonight, you have personally given me a reason to.”

I didn’t understand what he was talking about until I felt it. I could feel something slipping away from my consciousness, forcefully ripped away and I suddenly felt like sobbing. I was losing something without knowing what it was. I looked at him, astonished but dared not to show much of reaction. “What… are you talking about?”

His smile widened, “First, you disobeyed the rule by escaping and disarming about half of the men in the security posts outside. I didn’t punish you because that was a probation period, especially since Suho spoke very highly on your behalf. And tonight, you helped the four captives out of the prison by stealing my airplane and compelling my men inside my own facility. Do you think I will be lenient to you this time around?” He paused, “I never intended to raise a tiger in my own courtyard, Sera. All actions have their own consequences. And this is yours. Take her away from my sight.”

His voice was light but the implication was not. I faltered and took steps backward, glaring at the twins as they approached me soundlessly, “Stop! Don’t you dare take another step forward!” It should have worked! I put my ability into those words. And yet they still moved towards me unfailingly, and the smile that Jane had been holding back finally spilled out as she watched me. I turned to the General whose eyes were watching me like a prey waiting to be caught. “You…” I pointed at him, “You’re a Stealer!”

A stealing gift was unheard of in the last few centuries, but the rumours from the olden days persisted. There were abilities which was dangerous and feared, and Stealers were put on top of that food-chain. They took away abilities without qualms, with a mere lift of their fingers. I paled and tried to run away, but my efforts were for naught. The twin caught me in that instant, and I was powerless without my ability. I didn’t even have any kind of self-defense going on, and they knocked me off immediately.

“What… did you do… to me?” My voice was very, very weak, and I thought I was imagining his reply in my head, but the General lifted my chin and whispered right beside my ear, “What else? Punishing you, of course.” And then he left me to the hands of the twins as they dragged me away, following the back of the female Doctor as we left the General’s office further behind. I didn’t know where they were taking me, or what they wanted to do with my body, but this wasn’t something I prepared myself for.

I didn’t remember what I saw before my eyes closed, but I knew what it was like. My surrounding turned to blurred lines, and all I felt was fear. Fear. It echoed. It consumed me whole. I was utterly defeated.

* * *

I heard the sounds of water running and opened my eyes. It wasn’t bright at all, and if anything, I didn’t have the trouble of adjusting my eyes to the light. There were about a dozen people surrounding the area, ten of them were trained soldiers, one was Doctor Lee, then one-half of the twins. I was tied and my mouth was sealed with cheap yellow-coloured plasters. For one organisation like this, they surely knew better than to spend their budget on torture device, so I wasn’t exactly surprised anymore.

This place was extremely familiar. It was outside the last security post in the valley with a small road fit enough for one car to pass. It wasn’t the time to cry, nor panic, because I had been involved in interrogation and torture before, and I was never one to crack. I forced myself to calm down and thought of it as another simulation from the Death Camp. in, breathe out. I stared at them with clear eyes even though I was choking inside. The air was suffocating. The blue jeans that I wore were now torn here and there, exposing wounds and blood. Instead of the long-sleeve shirts, I was left in the grey tank top I put on as the inner layer, red skins all over with familiar scratching marks, which meant that it had only been a day at most since I passed out.

I still remember what my former partner used to tell me. Never fear, Sera. The obstacle you face is only temporary. And yet, when I thought about his words now, I could only despair over whatever I was about to go through. Heaven knew if I would stay alive after today. I blinked away the moist in my eyes. It mattered not anymore. If I died, I would die without regret. I had no one to bid farewell to, or anything I would feel sad leaving for. I had no qualms betting on my own life and death when time called for it.

Jane smiled as I awoken and walked over to me. “You see, Miss Jung, I have nothing against you,” She spoke slowly and clearly, afraid that I would miss out anything. I met her eyes and stared unblinkingly. “It is the General’s Order to have you punished because we can’t have anyone running rampage on the Union’s ground. And you, Miss Jung, are far too unrestrained to be controlled. So you can’t blame me, or anyone else, for that matter. You only have yourself to blame.” She motioned to one of the soldiers, “Bring her to the edge. We have to let her see what she’s in for.”

My head was pushed to the cold soil as I tried to look for anything below. Again, there were only two dark spots that stood out in the darkness. Jane suddenly dropped a large lamp five-hundred feet below. My eyes widened. There were two humongous alligators with thorny tails, obviously modified to the point that only their silhouette resembled that of a crocodile. When their jaws were opened, the gap between was about half my body size, and I wasn’t at all tiny. The lamp was soon destroyed with a whip of their tails, fighting against each other when they thought it was a food resource. They were starved for days and only fed to be kept alive, so anything thrown in would not survive their hunger and monstrosity.

“Aren’t they magnificent?” Doctor Lee asked. There was a hint of pride and even affection when she talked more about those monsters. “They’re one of my latest creations – genetically enhanced crocodiles that resembled the ancient dinosaurs. Strongest creature alive in this twenty-first century, but no one else knows, of course. Anyone who has seen them up-close all died without a corpse. Just a whip of their tails would be enough to send ten men to their deaths, let alone… a young lady like you.”

“Bring in the cage!”

The cage was about two times three meters. I raised my eyebrows at them, waiting in anticipation of what they were going to do with it. Jane spoke up and ordered, “Hang her upside down and put the cage down by a single rope. We’ll see how long it takes before the teeth of those alligators break through the metal and chomp her down. Smear her with fresh blood. That scent will drive those animals insane. Let’s see if she will still be as wilful after we’re through with her.” She turned towards me again, “Think you can survive this jungle without obedience, Miss Jung? The General’s Order is absolute in this world, and disobedience often results in death. Hopefully, next time you want to do something like this again, it will make you think about the sharpness of these animals’ teeth against your skin.”

“Strap off the plaster on ,” She said, and as they forced me inside the cage, they took off the plaster and quickly retreated outside. Jane was expecting me to say a word. Quite possibly my last ones if I didn’t survive, but I turned away from her quietly, without so much as tears or fear. If I showed her my weakness and I got out of this punishment alive, I would never be able to keep my pride intact anymore, so I refused to bow down even when Death was knocking at my door. Call it arrogance or obstinacy. “Since she is so eager to meet the crocs, put the cage down right away.”

“Yes, Doctor!” Two men started tying the rope by the top of the cage, and I closed my eyes to prepare for the worst. The rope was thicker than my arms combined, but I was sceptical whether it had the ability to persist against the razor-like teeth of the alligators. The moment the cage was pushed off the edge, I only heard my own heartbeat and saw nothing, even as the bottom of this cage touched the water in a loud, splashing sound. The terror that followed was unspeakable. Against metal, the two alligators came forward madly as they thrashed their gigantic bodies back and forth. Without a source of light, I could not see anything but those red slits whenever they came too close.

Fear, fear, fear. My heart was thumping loudly when all of a sudden, the rope loosened, and the cage was dropped further into the water, drowning me completely. This wasn’t something that I liked. Water, choking, two starving alligators continuously terrorizing me. About ten seconds of infinity passed by, and the soldiers finally pulled up the rope and the cage was once again hanged about thirty centimetres above the water. Back and forth, up and down, the torture continued and I had no way of escaping. I could not even mutter a word in fear of provoking those alligators anymore.

My consciousness was hanging on a thin line, barely there. Would Suho know? And if he did, would he save me and go against the General’s Order? Impossible. It was a world of all men for themselves. I bitterly bit my lips and let out a frightened cry.

A/N: When karma bites you back in the , real hard... Also, unedited chapter because I'm a little busy at the moment.