January 1st, 2018

Gongju, South Korea

4:00 AM

Sometimes, Yoochun wonders what he’s ever done to deserve the terrible luck that he has. He's sure that since the day he was popped out the womb, he's been the most unfortunate boy to ever grace the land of the living.

For starters, he was born premature. A total month earlier than what was planned. Thus rendering him a Gemini – a sign that no one likes for reasons only explained by ridiculous Tumblr posts made by twelve-year olds.

Then he randomly developed asthma at only two years old. He remembers the day quite clearly. One minute he was playing an intense game of tag with his imaginary friend, Mickey, and the next he was in the back of an ambulance being scolded by his mom for being irresponsible enough to contract an unavoidable disease. Invisible to them all (except Yoochun, of course), Mickey had watched them from the roof of the ambulance. Yoochun remembers him laughing maniacally, mocking Yoochun for having lost against him so feebly. Long story short: Mickey was deleted from Yoochun’s mind not long after. It was what the little prick deserved.

Then came his younger brother. Yoochun was only three when Yoohwan was born, meaning he was not yet smart enough to get rid of the evil child before it was too late. Yoohwan is even more of a bastard than Yoochun, if that's possible, and makes it his life mission to harass and abuse his elder brother whenever he can. Despite their slight , Yoohwan is a disrespectful and constantly tries to turn Yoochun’s life into an even darker nightmare than it already is. Not to mention Yoohwan stole his middle school crush from right under his nose. Oh yeah, that was a traumatic experience. After reading Yoochun’s diary one night and discovering his sappy feelings for one beautiful Han Jimin, Yoohwan confessed to her the very next day and made her his girlfriend just like that. Yoochun, of course, was devastated. And Yoohwan only grew more insufferable from there.

And how could he forget his miserable days in high school? Unable to play sports like all of the other students, Yoochun was always left alone on the benches with the other dweebs he refused to associate himself with. And in Yoochun’s high school, sports meant everything. The school was practically funded by the championships of all its major teams, so for Yoochun to be one of the few to not participate in a single part of that…well, let's just say none of the porkheaded jocks appreciated it. It didn't help that his grades were average as and his mother was the president of the PTA, always reminding everyone that, yes, she is Park Yoochun of Class A5’s mother, would you like to see some of his baby pictures? So yeah. High school. Absolute garbage time.

Which then brings his woes to college. With such y grades, Yoochun had barely gotten into the college of his choice. He lacks any and all kinds of basic talents (save for his advanced skill of self-deprecation) so he can't even use something like singing or dancing as compensation. He’s a stodgy business major. His GPA is a 2.1. His roommate of two years only enjoys his company because he owns a used Playstation 4. Not to mention he's penniless almost seventy-five percent of the time because his mother downright refuses to send him a monthly allowance, claiming that the Parks don't need assistance from their parents once they reach a certain age. (“I'm paying for your tuition,” she always says whenever Yoochun is hungry and flatout broke enough to call her, “that should be enough. Now hang up already, I'm busy opening a credit card account for Yoohwannie.”)

The pay at Sooman’s Pizza is awful. Yoochun is almost positive that it's below minimum wage. But since they only hired him because Yoochun literally begged them to back in his freshman year (on his knees and crying with snot coming out of his nose), he isn't exactly in the position to complain. The only reason the boss keeps him around is because Yoochun is good at dealing with the unexpected, or so he says, which is ideal for rush hours. He's also the only one who's willing to scrub the toilets once a week, so there's a couple of commendable attributes he can add to his résumé.

And now Yoochun’s Bad Luck™ is making itself known once again. He doubts he's still in that dinky alleyway, least of all in the safeness of his cramped dorm back at Toho University. He's aware that he's covered in something soft. And warm. Extremely warm. So either he's in a hospital underneath the coziest blanket of all time, or he died and is currently burning in the pits of Hell.

Either one, Yoochun dreads opening his eyes. But only because his mom is going to shank him for not texting her at midnight on the dot like he usually does. She always expects a corny “sweet dreams, my lovely bearer of life who I treasure more than anything in the whole wide world” (or something along those lines) every single night. And considering Yoochun was attacked by a vampire and his buddy before he could even get the chance to, he knows his phone is going to be filled to the brim with voicemails complaining about inconsiderate children and one-hundred and one different reasons as to why Yoohwannie is now her only son. Goddammit.

But that's an issue Yoochun plans on handling at a different time. Right now, he needs to figure out where he is and if he's actually snoozing in the depths of Satan’s lair.

When, at last, Yoochun peeks a curious eye open, he almost wishes it's the devil that he sees. At least then Yoochun could have the chance to snarkily request his brother get a special room reserved for his eventual stay. But no. Yoochun is definitely not in Hell…though he might as well be.

Jaejoong, or so Yoochun figures his name is, is floating in the center of the room, legs crossed and a pout on his deceptively gorgeous face. His eyes are narrowed, almost dangerously so, and it isn't until he opens his mouth to speak that Yoochun realizes he's talking to someone.

“Way to go, Harry Potter, you put the guy in a coma.”

Yoochun’s entire body feels heavy, and he struggles to angle his head just right to see who the vampire is directing his anger towards.

In the opposite corner of the room is a boy that looks hardly older than Yoohwan. He's fussing around the modestly-sized room – a living room, Yoochun notes – before he spins around to square Jaejoong with a hostile glare of his own.

“I don’t want to hear from you, Kim. You’re the one who got him into this mess,” he spits. Now whoever this guy is, Yoochun agrees with him wholeheartedly. Like, how can you just assault a guy who was merely trying to mind his own damn business? Didn't Jaejoong’s parents ever teach him not to…okay, no. They're vampires. Yoochun would be silly to actually believe they'd teach their young not to hunt for their food.

Which is lame because Yoochun doesn't like not being at the top of the food chain. He doesn't like being food. Sure, he probably tastes delicious (because how could he not), but it's still dehumanizing to know that there's always a creature out there more powerful than he can ever imagine. And always creeping around in alleyways so they can up all the juicy goods of unsuspecting humans like him.

But hey, he's getting distracted again. He needs to know what's going on.

Over the crackling of a nearby fire the younger boy is tending to, Yoochun can hear Jaejoong huff with annoyance. “Hey, it’s not my fault you ate all of the leftovers in the fridge! I had no other choice but to—”

“Oh, save it for someone who cares,” the boy snaps, reminding Yoochun so much of his brother that it's almost scary. The boy’s shoulders slump in what looks like frustration, and he groans loudly, “god, if my principal catches wind of this, she's going to hound my for all eternity!”

“No one told you to intervene! I had everything under control!”

“Control, my left foot. You were literally making out with the ground when I got there!”

Yoochun is smart enough to not snicker aloud. This type of rudeness is actually funny to hear when he's not on the receiving end of it. No wonder Yoohwan has such a good time bullying him.

Jaejoong’s eyes flash for a moment, and he looks borderline homicidal as he floats over to the boy like a lion on the prowl. “You know what, Shim,” he hisses menacingly, “keep talking and I will shove your wand so far up your wannabe Frodo —”

“You , Frodo wasn't even a wizard! How dare you disgrace the Lord of the Rings lore with your unrivaled stupidity?”

“Your mom's an unrivaled stupidity!”

“That didn't even make any sense!”

“Your mom doesn't make any sense!”

"Oh my ing..." Unexpectedly, the Shim boy turns to face where Yoochun lays. The senior is quick enough to squeeze his eyes shut before he's seen snooping in on their conversation, and Shim’s voice is much less venomous when he address