Episode I (Pilot)
Vegetarian WarsDecember 31st, 2017
Seoul, South Korea
23:45 PM
Alleyways. Why does it always have to be alleyways?
Of all the places Park Yoochun has to spend his final dying moments, it’s in some abandoned alleyway in the middle of the city, alone and cold and currently being straddled by some pointy-toothed maniac.
In hindsight, Yoochun is the careless dunce for having taken such a shady shortcut back to his dorm instead of the usual long route. But today is New Year’s Eve...a day where people act as if they're complete and utter freaks for no legitimate reason at all besides the fact that they simply can. So his wanting to get back home after his late-night shift at the local pizzeria as quickly as possible was certainly warranted, wasn’t it?
Why yes. Yes, it was.
But was it worth it?
Yeah, no. Most definitely not. Especially when, as a result, he’s about to be murdered by a giggling man decked out in a full-blown hot pink Gucci sweatsuit: the perfect example of the very type of insane person Yoochun had been trying to avoid in the first place.
Yoochun has always been the morbid type, oftentimes wondering how he would finally kick the bucket and call it a day. Would it be a gradual death? Like, caused by an illness or something? A quick one? Where he doesn’t even see it coming? He's never known. He's never really even cared. But he still has enough self-respect to feel disappointed in knowing that this would be how he would reach his end.
A vampire. An actual, real-life vampire (with a terrible sense in fashion, might he add) would be the one to kindly introduce Yoochun to his maker. Something that everyone in the world is sure doesn’t exist – because the idea of blood- monsters who use coffins for beds and live for all eternity sounds like something born from the musings of a stoner – is anything but, and now Yoochun is going to suffer the consequences of doubting the integrity of the entire Twilight franchise.
It doesn’t help that this vampire is a tiny ol’ thing, with a slight body and bony arms, but was still strong enough to somehow overpower Yoochun with one kick to the chest. It also doesn’t help that he’s kind of pretty to boot, the head of platinum blonde hair and set of electric blue eyes staring down at him with mirth making it hard for Yoochun to believe that someone so angelic-looking is only five seconds away from ripping his throat to shreds.
And then there’s his aforementioned murder outfit of choice. Despite the severity of the situation, Yoochun can’t help but think that this vampire has to be living in 2006 if he thinks such a hideous outfit is appropriate for any situation. The darkness which shrouds the alleyway is nothing compared to the brightness of this vampire’s clothes, and Yoochun almost feels blinded by its sheer pinkness.
It’s so goddamn insulting that this abomination will be the one to kill him. Yoochun kind of wants to cry at the unfairness of it all.
Well, he thinks solemnly as the vampire’s face dips down to the valley between his chin and shoulder, at least I don’t have to pay off my student loans anymore.
Yoochun clenches his eyes shut, preparing for the absolute worst, when he suddenly hears the chime of a cell phone ringing. Just a week ago, his younger brother had jokingly set his ringtone to one of those teeny-bopper songs from High School Musical, so Yoochun knows the sound isn’t coming from him. He dares to peek an eye open, and nearly scoffs when he sees the vampire flipping his cellphone open to peer at the screen.
Okay, so not only is Yoochun not worthy enough in Fate's eyes to get a super cool and awesome death like in one of those 80’s action movies his roommate likes so much, but he’s not even worthy enough to get the complete and undivided attention of his murderer? What kind of disrespectful bull?
The vampire uses one dainty hand to hold Yoochun down by his neck, and the other to press his bedazzled phone against his ear. “Talk to me.”
His voice is surprisingly soft, velvety even, and completely unlike the barbaric nature of the dreaded Vampire of legends and storybooks. Yoochun only just stops himself from showing his surprise. It almost sounds like the man is singing, even as he proceeds to violently curse out whoever is on the other line (“you mangy little er, if you don’t stop wasting my time and handle your own bull, I’m going to—”) and then Yoochun realizes that he has but a mere moment to take advantage of such an opportune distraction before he resumes being the entrée on this vampire’s menu.
He does the only thing he knows how to do best when stuck in a life-or-death situation: he gathers his strength, summons all the courage in his body, squeezes his hands into fists and
“Help me, oh my god! Someb
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