Eunbi took a gulp from the bottle of soju that was in her hand. There was approximately half an hour left before midnight and she wanted nothing more but to let herself get drunk on the last day of the year. She looked like a mess but she didn’t care one bit about her appearance. She had no one to impress anyway. She was all alone in her apartment to drink her life away.

Eunbi knew it was pathetic of her but getting drunk was the only way she could think of to forget about memories that she did not want to remember. She didn’t want to wallow in sadness on the last day of the year which was supposed to be a joyous occasion for her— for them. If only Eunbi had not screwed up big time, she was sure she would be spending time with her right now. Thinking about the happy memories that could have happened and kisses they could have shared, Eunbi yelled in frustration and threw the now empty bottle of soju against the wall in front of her. She wanted to forget. Not think of the possibilities. Getting out of bed, she headed for her fridge and grabbed a few more bottles of soju. There was twenty minutes left before the clock struck midnight and Eunbi wanted to pass out before then.

The break up wasn’t supposed to have happened. Eunbi was still mad at herself for hurting the person she loved the most. Kim Yewon was precious to her but she had failed to keep her. She promised to always make her happy when they first got together but she didn’t know she would end up breaking it after a year of dating. If only the green-eyed monster inside of her did not overpower her, she would not have lashed out on Yewon and accused her of cheating with her ex best friend. She would not have seen Yewon cry and march out of their shared apartment that was occupied by only Eunbi now.

She had tried to mend their broken relationship after that day but Yewon kept avoiding her. Whenever she tried to get closer, Yewon would turn around and walk the other direction. It hurt but she knew she was at fault. Eunbi managed to get Yewon to talk to her one day and it turned out well. The latter gave her a second chance to prove herself but she had once again fail to conceal her jealousy when she found out that Yewon was still hanging out with her ex best friend.

“Yah, there’s really nothing going on between Yuna and I! Why do you keep thinking I’m cheating on you?” Yewon raised her voice. She was tired of Eunbi accusing her again. “We work together, Eunbi. Most of the time we’re just discussing about work related things.”

“Bull,” Eunbi gritted. “If the both of you aren’t going out behind my back, why are acting all defensive then? You know how Yuna is in love with you! Shouldn’t you be avoiding her instead?”

Yewon scoffed. She found Eunbi unbelievable at that moment. She felt like slapping some sense into her but she knew it would not be effective at all. Eunbi was naturally a stubborn person. “You know what,” she said in a dangerously low tone. “I’d rather date Yuna instead of you. She wouldn’t accuse me of cheating if I tell her I’m only hanging out with a colleague. You don’t even trust me and that’s one of the most important thing when it comes to being in a relationship.”

11:55 P.M.

Eunbi’s vision was blurry and her head was starting to throb but somehow, she was still sober in a way. She was still able to think clearly and she hated that. Looking at the empty bottles and broken glasses spread around the floor, she had lost count how many bottles she drank for the night.

11:57 P.M.

Eunbi wished she was able to go back in time and change everything.

11:59 P.M.

She managed to pass out before the new year began.

Δ

Feeling something heavy lying atop of her, Eunbi shifted slightly in position and cracked her eyes open to see what had just disrupted her from her sleep.

‘Yewon…?’ the name immediately appeared in her mind when she saw the familiar sleeping face resting on her chest. ‘Am I just imagining this?’

Bringing her free hand up, she carefully rested her palm on the sleeping figure’s cheek and caressed it gently with her thumb. It was too good to be true that Yewon was really on bed with her still in a deep slumber. Eunbi believed that this was all a dream because she wasn’t feeling any throbbing in her head from all the soju she had drunk the previous night. And if this really was a dream, Eunbi wished to never wake up from it because she missed having Yewon in her arms so much. Just thinking about the months she went through without Yewon was making her heart clench in sadness so she hugged the figure who was snuggled close to her tightly to cherish the moment before she was brought back to reality.

“Eunbi…?” Yewon’s sleepy voice brought the said girl out of her thoughts and she looked down to see her ex girlfriend yawning cutely before pressing a soft kiss on her chin. “You’re awake early today. You usually wake up late when you’re not working. What gives?”

“I’m working today though,” Eunbi unknowingly muttered out loud, causing Yewon to furrow her brows in confusion.

“It’s Tuesday, Eunbi. It’s your off day,” Yewon reminded. “Did work tire you a lot yesterday? You did fall asleep fast once we got to bed.”

“No,” Eunbi shook her head. “It’s Monday—”

“Are you not feeling well, Eunbi?” The look of confusion on Yewon’s face was immediately replaced by worry. Removing herself from the taller girl, she layed on her side and propped her elbow on the soft mattress before guiding her other hand up to press the back of her hand against Eunbi’s forehead. “You’re not having a fever though.”

“Yewon, I’m fine,” Eunbi mustered a small smile and took her ex’s hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. It felt weird for her to say her name again after a few months of avoiding any conversation relating to her. It felt even weirder that she was holding onto Yewon in bed when the latter had supposedly moved out after their breakup.

“Are you sure?”

The warmth Eunbi had been missing spread instantly throughout her body upon seeing Yewon still looking at her in concern. She wished she could stop the time at that very moment so that she did not have to face reality soon. However, at the same time, she felt like she was being selfish for not wanting to wake up from the dream. Seeing the girl right in front of her was causing her guilt to increase as she recalled how she had hurt Yewon badly.

“I don’t deserve this,” she whispered. “I don’t deserve you at all.”

“What are you saying?” Yewon frowned. “Did you knock your head onto something?”

“I’m dreaming all of this right?” Eunbi chuckled pathetically. “You’re not supposed to be mine anymore. We broke up because I did something stupid. Something—”

Yewon silenced Eunbi with a kiss on her lips. All the thoughts that she had bottled up in her mind vanished for a brief while as she found herself getting lost in the kiss. It felt wrong but so right at the same time that she was able to feel Yewon's lips on hers again. The kiss was slightly passionate as Eunbi poured out all her feelings into it. She missed this. She missed holding her in her arms. She missed kissing her. She missed Yewon a lot.

“I think you just had a bad dream, Eunbi,” Yewon whispered breathlessly after pulling away from the kiss first. “I’ll never break up with you. I love you too much to do that.”

“No,” Eunbi said firmly. She couldn't believe what she just did. It’s wrong, she thought. So so wrong. “It wasn’t a dream. This. This is a dream.”

“Eunbi, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yewon looked extremely baffled that Eunbi wished she could get out of this dream already. She would rather face reality where Yewon was no longer hers than seeing the latter get hurt by her words again. She did not want history to repeat itself even if it’s only a dream.

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