Going On

What Happened to the Girls ?

- 2 Years Later - 

'' Hey guys ! Sorry I am late ! '' Taeyeon said . '' It's okay . Come sit beside me . '' Leeteuk said . Taeyeon ran to sit beside Leeteuk while the rest were going to finish the food for their picnic . '' Here , have my Tuna Sandwich , Sica '' Donghae said . '' Thanks Oppa '' Jessica replied . '' Look at my new dance moves , Hyo ! '' Eunhyuk said . '' Nice Oppa ! '' Hyoyeon replied and all of them cheered . '' Look at my new Keroro cap , Kyuhyun oppa ! Seohyun said . '' Cute ! '' Kyuhyun said .  

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BlueCupcake #1
Chapter 5: Noooo! Please don't go on hiatus too long! I want to read more!!
exotaeng9 #2
Chapter 5: Update soon
YooniqueDJ #3
Yeah snsdtaeteuk ! :)
What is your name btw ? What shall I call you ?

I'll be fixing the chapter / idea request you are requesting for at the moment; sorry, so sorry for the delay ! My school and life is so jam-packed of busy-ness >.<

The chapter (I think it should be called a chapter because I'm better at giving a start of chapters than ideas xD) is written by lychee68 & me so yeah :)

Also, just like what lychee said, everyone makes mistakes now and then, and there is always room for improvement ! :)

Hopefully I can help you edit or fix up some future chapters :)

And hopefully I'll be a good co-author !

I'm excited yet a bit anxious ^_^
lychee68 #4
Ahh I see now! ^_^
That's okay everyone makes mistakes and everyone improves so don't feel bad! :)
Take it as a positive thing and hopefully I'll be able to finish your idea request with MidnightSapphire soon!! :D
snsdtaeteuk #5
@lychee68 Well , actually , said is like the only thing my teacher taught me to write .... so I'll take note of your advice and improve myself ! It is also okay to be strict although it sometimes make me feel like a bad author ......
lychee68 #6
Also, try using some other words rather than just using "said" all the time~

For example:
"Look at my new Keroro cap Kyuhyun oppa!" Seohyun waved the cap around excitedly.
Kyuhyun beamed at the other. "It's cute!"

This will make your writing richer and more interesting for readers :)

(Sorry I'm not supposed to be reviewing ^_^" Hope you don't mind!)
lychee68 #7
Annyeong!
I'm doing your idea request with MidnightSapphire (Because she's quite busy at the moment)! Is that okay? :)
Just finished reading the chapters~ ^_^
Although we're helping with the next chapter, I think you should write chapters in more detail.
Also, put each speaker on a new line- that way the reader will understand the story more clearly.

Haha sorry for saying all that- I just wanted to give some constructive criticism! Hope you don't mind! :)
YooniqueDJ #8
Go check your inbox snsdtaeteuk ! :)
I sent you a few messages :)
YooniqueDJ #9
Chapter four is amazingly short =))
One paragraph ! Anyways, I also have a few questions about your request ~
I'll inbox you.
Heheheh :)
YooniqueDJ #10
Chapter 3: [Btw the comment below was for chapter 2] Yeah your chapters are very short >.< LOL ! And once again new speaker = new line ^^
Remember that snsdtaeteuk ~
Hehe sorry about my comments, just like to help you improve ^^ My reviewer side [I'm not a reviewer though] is getting the best of me at the moment >.<
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