heavily inspired by the song 'sweet - cigarettes after .' maybe have that on repeat while reading ;>

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it was a peaceful evening and jeongyeon misses mina. she fishes her phone, checks if the girl finally has the time to give her a reply. it's been three weeks since they last hung out, mina went to japan to visit her parents. jeongyeon's train of thoughts was disturbed by the light of her phone, mina has replied. and they talk for hours about the girl's holiday stories, about how she's gonna make her the best dalgona coffee she's been seeing online when she gets back and jeongyeon shares her newly discovered talent in cooking treats for her pets that by the way, they always eat and finish. they exchanged 'i miss you's and talk more about random things until mina stopped replying for few minutes and gave jeongyeon time for herself to think how she loves this. they could talk forever and she will not complain. they could talk about whatever and still she will never find it boring. jeongyeon wishes she could say those three words right now but she couldn't.

not when mina just sent her a video of her biting her lower lip, wearing a satin bathrobe and hair all wet, fresh from taking the shower. those three words would seem meaningless, would imply more of the lust rather than jeongyeon's true feelings. she knows it's more than that, she's sure from the start it's more than that. but she doesn't say it, instead she writes, "what are you wearing tonight ;)"

jeongyeon bites her thumb as she waits for mina's reply. her phone lights up, from Minari~, "why don't you see for yourself ;>"

she stares at the reply then her eyes widened at the sudden realization, she's back!

"coming in five" jeongyeon types and immediately looks for her car keys. they live just a few blocks away from each other so it will probably take her less than that with a ride.

jeongyeon and mina has this weird relationship. they don't say they're each other's significant other nor do they say they're best friends. sure they are close but not close enough to be labelled as that. they are each other's booty calls, to simply put it. but for jeongyeon, it's more than that. maybe it's easier to show lust than to show love these days. it's easier to blame hormones to justify lust, than to commit only to end up hurting, than to face the fear of rejection. she fears of the unknown response of introducing this new thing called love into the system. this is not an experiment where she can redo if she doesn't get the response she wants. and so, maybe it's okay if she just rolls with this, whatever this is that she has with mina. 

jeongyeon has always been careful in driving but she parks the car in front of mina's house like she's the total opposite. luckily she's also skilled so no damage was done in the process.

lust or love, whatever. she misses mina so much and she just wants to hold her close, no matter what the reason is. maybe both.

and maybe, mina feels the same. just maybe.

there's no need to knock, mina heard as the car was parked almost recklessly outside. she opened the door and there goes the person she missed so much.

"you should've told me you were coming back. i could've picked you up at the airport" jeongyeon says as mina lets her in and closes the door.

"well, im already here. what are you gonna do about it?" and gives suggestive looks to jeongyeon. there was peaceful silence as mina puts her arms on the taller girl's shoulders and jeongyeon snakes her hands on mina's waist, feeling the texture of satin clothing that envelopes it. they pull each other closely, she missed this so much, she craved for this for so long and only now the craving will be satisfied. and jeongyeon dives in first, she kisses mina like it will be her last and mina does the same as she slides her hands from jeongyeon's shoulders to putting her hands around her neck. mina's room is just upstairs but it's too far for them right now. they share kisses here and there until mina's legs touched the sofa and she safely fell on it. jeongyeon showered mina's body with her kisses as she slowly reached for mina's bathrobe tie and loosening it.

"so what are you wearing tonight?" she asks panting and lo and behold, mina's wearing just that, the bathrobe and nothing else. mina giggled and jeongyeon smirked. they usually aren't THAT '' but the separation made them long for this with more intensity. mina pulled jeongyeon by her shirt as she captured her lips and continued what they were doing.

...

jeongyeon woke up with mina by her side. she smiles at the sight and runs her fingers through the sleeping girl's hair. last night was amazing but this is more. she loves mina's body but she loves what's beyond that even more. she's afraid of the response but she's more afraid that they stay this way, just friends with benefits. she thinks and finally made up her mind. i will gladly break my heart for you, jeongyeon says in her mind. 

"only for you, mina."

i love you, those three words she doesn't say out loud but will soon escape , not because mina's bare body is touching hers but because she does, she loves mina. even if it breaks her heart.