Alternative titles: Heaven or hell // Or the one where they’re both desperate and it kind of bleeds out in waves, but they stubbornly stick a band-aid on it and call it a day.

Every time we drew our lines
They grew legs and walked themselves down the road

...

But then there was the blood from your heart on my hands again
Though I swore I washed it off in the waves

And there was the blood from your heart on my hands again
Though I swore I washed it out in the rain

- Again by Kehlani

xxx

“Last chance to change your mind.”
 

A shaky laugh escapes Tiffany's lips, and she looks at the woman up and down, giving herself another few seconds to think about it. With a hint of frustration, she shakes her head. “Sorry, Chloe. Really, I’ll…I’ll make it up to you.”
 

Chloe nods and puts her heels back on. “You got it that bad, huh?” She says with a quirk of her lips.
 

Tiffany stares at her, trying to mask her surprise.
 

“You’re usually amazing, but that was just…wow. Really hot. Dirty hot. Anyway, I’m just a call away if you need to follow through with your…stress relief.” The flirty wink she throws her way makes Tiffany smile, and then she’s gone, shutting the door behind her with a click.
 

It takes a minute for Tiffany to finally move, and she opts to go to the kitchen. She tugs the robe tighter against her body as she peruses the bottles of wine on her pantry. Plucking one of the stronger ones out, she pours herself a generous amount, gulping half of it in one go.
 

Christ.
 

She takes a seat on one of the barstools and buries her face in her hands in frustration with herself. With Taeyeon.
 

Memories begin to flood her mind, and instead of logical flashes of red curls and supple skin, she remembers blonde locks that smell like berries and shaky thighs slick with arousal. A shiver runs across her spine, and she chases it away with more Chardonnay.
 

Sheer desperation made her send that text, made her open the door to someone who’s always been good to her, made her try to get some semblance of relief using impatient hands and bruising kisses. But something had made her stop before anything could really happen.
 

She doesn’t know if it’s because the sounds emitting from Chloe were more high-pitched, or if it’s because her hair smelled like vanilla instead of berries, her lips colder than Taeyeon's burning ones.
 

Whatever it was, Tiffany just couldn’t.
 

She thinks about running after Chloe out in the hallway to ask for another chance, but really, deep down, she knows sleeping with someone else won’t really make this all-consuming ache go away. Only one person could remedy it, and Tiffany's pride won’t let herself come begging on her knees in front of Taeyeon's apartment. Not after she had put on such a show of rejecting the blonde.
 

One date? Two?
 

Her laughter rings across the empty apartment. She can’t believe she’s even considering dating Taeyeon just so she can have with her. Because that’s all there is to it, really, she tries to convince herself. . A physical connection that sometimes even transcends to spiritual when done well. A do-over of the rejection she had felt years ago.
 

Isn’t that kiss enough?
 

Because, truly, Taeyeon had kissed her like she wanted her. The evidence was in those musical sighs and passionate give-and-take that had Tiffany yearning for more.
 

Tiffany knows it isn’t enough. Somehow, her body still craves more – maybe because she actually had a chance to feel more, touch more – and this is exactly why she’s trying to get drunk off something other than petite blondes who expect too much. She sighs and pours herself some more wine, hoping to dull the ache between her thighs and maybe numb herself from the inside-out.
 

She sniffs at her fingers, and she knows it’s weird and a little bit (more like a whole lot of) crazy, but she swears she can still smell a hint of Taeyeon over her skin. Fitting, because Taeyeon's already doing a damn fine job of getting under it.

***