Jessica stirred then, and I have to fake sleeping as she scooted closer to me, leaving no space between us, before she moved away completely, her yawn echoing in my head. She was awake.

I waited for a few seconds to open my eyes, easily connecting with the blue and cloudy sky. I suppressed a smile as I sat up beside Jessica. “Hungry?” I asked her.

“What time do you think is it?” she asked me instead.

I shrugged my shoulders because I really had no idea and I didn’t bring my watch. “Let me just get my phone from the car.”

“No,” Jessica said, holding my wrist to stop me from standing up. “Don’t. Let’s forget about time.”

I laughed at her. “What?”

“Let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist and just go with our body clock instead.”

“Oh-kay?” I said. “I’m not hungry yet, so it might not be noon yet.”

Jessica nod her head. “Me too,” she said. “We should do something fun instead.”

I looked at her questioningly.

“Remember when we were kids we like to play on the swing so much,” she said with a nostalgic smile. It made me smile, too. “We used to compete who could swing higher and perform a perfect landing.”

I looked around for a swing and found only one. I pointed at it and Jessica followed my line of sight. “You go first,” I told her. “I’ll push you.”

Jessica stood up excitedly and I folded the blanket. We walked towards the swing side by side, crossing the small park.

I examined the swing. It looked safe; no sign of rust and looks like it could handle Jessica and me. “Okay, I’ll push you.”

She sat on the swing, her small frame just fitting perfectly between the chains. She took her sneakers off and happily kicked the grass. She kicked harder and harder and I stood there watching. Jessica looked like she was enjoying herself so I didn’t complain about not being able to push her.

“Taeyeon!” she squealed as she swung higher. “Look at me!”

I was looking. I never once took my eyes off of her. Then I laughed along with her, telling myself we were creating a harmony that only the two of us could make.

Jessica was swinging higher and higher and it came to a point that it scared me. “Sooyeon,” I called out. “Slow down now, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

But she didn’t listen. Like she didn’t in all those times she scared the life out of me when we were kids. I had to beg her to stop before she listened and jumped from the swing, landing perfectly in front of me. “Jesus!” I said exasperatedly, my heart racing not because of fear, but because Jessica's face was so close to mine I could practically breathe in what she breathes out. “Don’t scare me like that.”

She smiled her stupid smile at me again and I feel like she was teasing me. Of course she was teasing me. She has always been teasing me. “I’m sorry,” she said, obviously not sorry. “You worry too much that’s why I like teasing you.” She laughed then. Loud and crisp and wonderful. Eeverything was right in the world again.

I brought her her shoes as she sat in the swing, asking me to put them on for her because, apparently, she wanted to feel like a princess. I snorted a laugh, but put on her shoes for her without resentment anyway.

She then stood up from the swing, taking my hand as she dragged me back to my car, still laughing, telling me she couldn’t believe I actually did that.

We settled in silence inside the car for a moment as I watch Jessica tie her hair in a ponytail, exposing her neck. I had to look away to stop the crazy things running in my head. “Hungry now?” I asked her without looking, fixing my own hair through my side mirror.

“No,” she said. “Not yet. I’m thirsty, though.”

“Me too,” I said as I turned the engine on without rolling my window up. “What do you want to do next?”

“Ice cream?” she said.

“Isn’t it too early for ice cream?”

Jessica looked at me with round eyes, like she was really in shock. She was playing, though, I could tell by the way quirked to the side.

I rolled my eyes before pulling my car from the side of the road. “Ice cream it is, then.” I could see Jessica smiling even without looking at her. Gosh, some things just never change.

I drove around the small town in search for an ice cream parlor with Jessica as my lookout. We didn’t find any, though, but we were able to find an ice cream cart by the side of the road. I was surprised when we did, because I haven’t seen those around the city, so I wasn’t expecting to find it in here. Not to mention it was still early.

We lined up along with the happy kids, Jessica standing giddily beside me. She turned to look at me with a smile every now and then until it was already our turn. I ordered chocolate mint for her while I chose cookies ’n cream. We were walking back to my car when Jessica suddenly stopped, body turned towards our left. “Everything alright?” I asked her.

She turned to look at me, her eyes round with obvious excitement, her free hand pointing at something. “Look,” she said. “A lake.”

“Yeah?” I said, turning to where she was pointing. “Yeah.”

“And a boat,” she added, walking towards it without even waiting for me.

I shook my head as I resignedly followed her. “We can’t,” I told her as we trekked the narrow path towards the lake. “Look, your ice cream’s melting already.”

Jessica looked back at me for a second, her smile warm and her eyes teasing. “You’re still very cautious,” she told me as she looked forward again, finishing her ice cream. “Let loose, will you?”

It sounded more like a joke to me than a challenge. Jessica has no idea how much I’ve let loose just by traveling these unfamiliar places. Sunny told me that I’ve always been one with a purpose. She said I’ve always known where I wanted to be and how I wanted things to be. Like a master plan’s already been drawn out for me and I’m obediently following it. I argued with her about that, of course. While I may know what I want, there are still things in my life that I wasn’t certain about.

“Okay,” I answered Jessica instead, finishing my ice cream. “Fine, but you paddle. I’m not doing that for us.”

Jessica’s laughter rang in the air. And for a moment I thought all of this made sense.

“Where is the Taengoo who said she’ll help me through everything?” Jessica said, voice higher than usual in an aegyo attempt and I couldn’t help but burst out into laughter.

Jessica stopped and I realized we reached the bay of the lake already. She stood there as if she didn’t just try aegyo on me earlier. My face was still warm from laughing, but she looked at me with a poker face before turning towards the water.

“Jesus,” I said while I composed myself again, standing side by side Jessica as our gaze fell on the circle-ish body of water.

“Nice, right?” Jessica said without taking her eyes off the lake.

I could only hum my answer. Jessica was right, it looked majestic with it’s clear, still water. We stood there for awhile, admiring the peaceful scenery before Jessica spoke again. “I want to cross it,” she said in a low voice, almost whispering.

I didn’t understand at first, but when she spoke again, I had an idea.

“I want to at least achieve something,” she added before turning to me with a sad smile. “Will you come with me?”

I smiled and instinctively took her hand. Just like all those years ago. “Of course, Sooyeon.” Then we were walking towards the boat docked just a few steps away from where we were standing. Without uttering another word, we got into the boat and soon we were paddling towards the center. It wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be, but somehow it brought a smile on Jessica’s face. We weren’t even halfway through when I felt my sweat tickling down the side of my face and I wiped it immediately with the sleeve of my shirt, embarrassed to be sweating in front of Jessica.

“Tired?” Jessica said and I looked up to her. She was sweating, too, but she didn’t seem to care as she continued paddling.

“Not really,” I told her. “Just that I haven’t done any physical activity for a while now and I'm not gonna lie, this is kinda hard.”

“Me too,” Jessica said, laughing as she continued paddling until we reached the center of the circular lake. We stopped there, cradling the paddles in our laps as we looked around. The lake was surrounded by trees, but there was a small clearing where four picnic tables were situated. It looked like it was maintained because the surrounding was clean. I now realized that we may have been using a tourist boat without paying for it, and I could only wish we won't get caught.

"How deep do you think is it?" Jessica asked, looking down at the water, her reflection looking back at her with wide eyes. I stared at her through the water for a second before shrugging my shoulders.

"Probably deeper than we could swim?"

Jessica nod her head. "Probably," she said with a distant voice.

I hesitated for a moment before my curiosity got the better of me. "What happened to you earlier?"

I know Jessica knows what I was talking about, but she sat there across from me – unmoving – as she continued staring at her reflection as if she didn't hear me. Of course she heard me, the place was too quiet and I made sure that my voice was clear.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it," I said resignedly. Accepting the fact that maybe I will never know what happened to her. "I'm sorry for asking."

I turned my head to the other direction, avoiding any eye contact with Jessica, when I heard her heave a sigh. I didn't turn to look at her until a few heartbeats passed. Our gazes immediately connected and she had a smile on her face, but her eyes looked sad, almost crying.

"I caught Donghae cheating," she said in a small, vulnerable voice, but I heard each syllable clearly. "And het got angry, he..." Jessica trailed off, putting her paddle down to her shirt. She pulled it down just enough for me to see the big bruise on her right shoulder going down to her shoulder blade.

I was so angry I didn't realize I was clutching my hand so hard until Jessica reached out to touch it. She smiled at me, like she was trying to comfort me. It was wrong, it should be the other way around. I should be the one comforting her.

"My parents liked him so much," she continued. "Especially my stepfather. And they wouldn't believe me even if I tell them what happened. They see Donghae as the perfect future son-in-law, especially with his family's reputation."

Lee Donghae. The most famous kid in high school. Grew up in a big house with luxurious cars. His mother was the head of our school while his father was a major stockholder of a well-known firm in Seoul. Lee Donghae. Of course.

I stayed mum. I couldn't seem to find my voice, or the right words to say. And on top of all that, my heart was breaking for Jessica.

"I wanted to break up with him since our senior year," Jessica continued. "But he won't let me go. His parents had been vocal about liking me, and he's been using me as an excuse for his parents to let him go wherever he wants to."

I couldn't help myself anymore, so I moved to hug Jessica, cautious not to rock the small boat. I hugged her so tight, not caring if it hurts her. All I wanted was to comfort her. If I could only take half the pain she was feeling, I would. I surely would. "I'm sorry," I whispered, caressing the back of her head with my hand. "I'm so sorry." I repeated the same thing for the next moments, because that was all I could tell her. I was sorry she had to go through it. I was sorry I wasn't there to take the blows for her. I was sorry.

Jessica was crying, I could tell by the way the fabric on my shoulder felt damp. But I didn't care. I let her cry there, in my arms, in the boat, at the center of the lake. I let Jessica cry her heart out.

When Jessica finally calmed down, I hesitantly let go of her to resume my position across her. I stared at her, stretching my hand out to sweep her bangs and tuck them behind her ear. "I won't let anyone hurt you now," I told her with the intention of keeping that promise. If I had to take her away, I would.