"How soon do we forget, how we felt?
Dealing with emotions, that never left..."

Blazers. Satin. Silk. Glitter. Velvet. 

Stage lights. Envelopes. Applauses. Trophies. 

The all-too familiar components of a typical award show. But, considering that the Baeksangs was the Korean Oscars and Emmys combined, it's definitely a different league of its own. Nam Ji Hyun had this love-hate relationship with award shows. She loved dressing up for a certain occasion and making it as an excuse to look good for a night, but at the same time, she always had this anxiety of sitting through an entire award show, not knowing if she was going to go home with an award or not. But, whether it's the former or the latter, she was still thankful that her work got recognized. 

She made an extra effort to look presentable tonight, since her work was nominated for five major awards tonight, and she had her fingers crossed that she would at least win one, or maybe all of them. She smoothed down her blue velvet ensemble, the constellations stitched on her dress with such intricacy that it could blend in with the night sky. Hair straightened to perfection, her earlobes adorned with drop earrings that matched well with her piercings. Her ensemble could match well with the actresses that attended the affair, as joked by some of her close friends in their groupchat, but she just wanted to make sure that whenever the cameras would be on her, she would at least look presentable to the eyes of everyone, and not look like she was dragged to be here for the sake of it. 

Speaking of which, the presenters are still doing their dialogue about the movies that were hits in the past few months, and when the camera pans to her for one second, she gives a close-lipped smile, her gaze not leaving the stage. And then, the nominees were announced. Each movie was met with a staggering applause, and with each passing second, she felt like her hearing waned, the only thing she could hear was her pulse drumming in her ear. 

“The winner for Best Screenplay is….”

The lights dimmed as the presented looked at his envelope. She has perfected her calm facade after years of attending award shows, as well as the art of keeping her expectations low. Her teeth were grinding behind her lips, the anticipation growing with each passing second. 

“The Dawn Behind the Curtain, by Miss Hazel Nam.”

A sigh left her lips as she showed off a small smile, her colleagues patting her on the back and patting her hands as she made her way towards the stage, the applause continuing on as she bowed to receive her award. She had herself all planned out in this moment: look at the award with admiration, look into the crowd, give them a smile, wait for a few seconds, and then you speak.

“I would like to thank first of all to PD Jeon Yeon In-sunbaenim for making all of my visions come to life in this project. Words cannot define how grateful I am for your help. I would also like to thank as well my two wonderful actors, Sung Jin Goo-ssi, and Kwon Tae Ri-ssi, you both emulated the characters so well that it took my breath away watching you two. It was as if everything came to life because of the two of you. To the cast and crew that worked tirelessly for this project, to the people that have supported this project even during script-reading and during the storyboard event, and most of all, I would like to thank the people who inspired me to start writing these bodies of work.”

She paused as she scanned the crowd, only to land her eyes on a familiar pair of eyes for a split second, her breath hitched as their gazes lingered for a brief moment, an unreadable expression on his face as he watched her. She was the first to turn away as she looked away into the farthest corners of the crowd, not willing to let this be another vunerable moment for her. She curved her lips upwards as she gazed towards the camera.

“Thank you for helping me reach the things that I never knew would turn into a reality. I am forever grateful for everything that you have done for this project, as well as for giving me this wonderful opportunity to be here. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

She bows towards the crowd before she retreated back to her seat, the people she passed congratulating her once more for her award, but if she was being honest, it was as if she felt emptier and emptier with every award she brought back to her seat, like her satisfaction with herself waned with every passing moment she held onto the trophy in her hand. The last few years have been filled with solitude and her writing away her woes, and with every project she has released, she just felt like she needed to release more, until she ran out of words to describe the story inside her head. She looks at the distorted reflection of herself, before heaving a sigh. The fruit of all of her melancholy is represented through a shining piece of metal shaped into a woman, and she laughs humorlessly at the situation of it all. The program is cut short for the commercial break, and everyone walked around to talk to each other and to congratulate the winners for their win. A few actors and actresses even passed by her to congratulate her, as well as a few producers and directors, but there was still that small fear of her bumping into him, but she couldn't find him anywher. Will they ever cross paths? Will he congratulate her? Will they ever talk like they used to? She doesn't know, and she doesn't know if she wants to know or not.

--

He was not that used to the stage lights that shined down on his figure, that's why he would rather stay behind it. But, he made an exception for that night as he stood in front of a crowd of actors, actresses, directors, and other entertainment giants as he kept his calm facade and walked towards the stage.  

"Hello, I am Ji Chang Wook, and I am here to present this Lifetime Achievement Award to one of the most recognized directors to ever grace the film industry, Noh Jeon Hyung." 

An applause breaks in the room, a photo of a smiling Noh Jeon Hyung displayed in the big screen, his name and the year of his birth and death written beside his photo. He holds himself together, the cracks in his heart growing inside him, with one little touch and one more thought of him would be enough for him to break down in tears again. It still felt surreal though, he'd never thought he'd see the day saying these very words and seeing that very image of him with his date of birth and death. Now, it just feels like he was a memory, something hollow that couldn't be recognized, and his heart ached more at the thought of it.  

"Noh Jeon Hyung has graced our screens with endless masterpieces, whether it would be in the small or big screens, his vision in each of his works has given him a trademark, a legacy that would be immortalized through his works and the lives he inspired to make a difference in the industry." 

He pauses for a short second, the sight of a familiar figure making him freeze. It was as if the world stopped as he saw her sitting by the front row, silver constellations adorning the dark blue velvet on her body, her hair cascading in waves, past her shoulders, with a part of it tucked behind her ear. Cherry red lips pressed together as she waited expectedly for what's to come from his speech, and it was like he was stunned all over again.  

"He wasn't just one of the most sought out directors in the industry," he continued, looking at the rest of the audience. "He was a father, a friend, a mentor, a husband. He was more than a man behind the lens. He was someone that you could lean on when you feel like the weight on your shoulders would be too much. He was someone who could share your burdens with, someone that exudes wisdom and wit, someone that anyone could count on. And to that, it has been an honor that he has graced us with his presence for so long." 

He breathes out a sigh, biting his tongue to keep the tears from falling. "He once told me that every artist in this industry needs to master their craft by looking past it and watch things with a new perspective. Think of the things that are out of the ordinary, something that could get the people talking, just not in the worst way possible."

A small sound of laughter broke through in the audience. "He said that when you finally have that idea, make sure you know its two important segments: the beginning of it and the end. But, he also told me that you need to think beyond the beginning. How did it start? How did this happen? And the same with the ending: what happened after this? How did they do after that? And, that's where you'll find the questions to what your work will run through. This statement alone helped him push through and spawn many of his iconic works. He would've never produced "Blossoms In The Winter" if he didn't push through with his boundaries. He said to get out of your comfort zone and explore your worlds, even if it costed you everything."

He caught his voice in his throat, the double-edged words cutting him quickly. He looked back at her, and she was looking at the screen, an unreadable expression on her face. He gulped down his silence before he gave a weak smile.

"And with that, we want to honor him by giving the Lifetime Achi