There’s knocking on their apartment door, to which Sooyoung quietly groans it hurt so much, god. When Yerim opens it she sees, that Joohyun is on the other side. She ushers her in, because it’s cold outside, after all.

       “Hi, Yerimie,” she rises her hand to younger’s face to move a lock of hair, that fell on her eyes. “Your eyes are red, were you crying earlier?”

       Crap.

       “Uhm, yeah, I watched a drama last night, it was really sad,” she lies. Oof, she believed it, good.

       “Have you guys eaten breakfast yet?”

       “Wendy-unnie left, but Sooyoung-unnie and I haven’t had breakfast yet. Will you make us something, pretty please? I’ll wake unnie up!” She flashes her a bright smile.

       “Sure, kid,” Joohyun grins a little, and Yerim goes to her room.

       Maybe she should call Seulgi-unnie so she and Joohyun-unnie can talk, without being dumb-dumbs, and finally break this streak of avoiding each other? No, that’s probably not a very good idea, considering the fact, that Joohyun might have a knife in her hands. Also, Wendy said, that they should figure this out on their own, without her meddling with anything. She huffs figure out right, she would probably cut her hair like Sooyoung, before they work things out between them. There’s a faint knock on the door, and Joohyun’s I’ll open it, and then silence. They aren’t waiting for guests, if she recalls. Or maybe it’s Wendy, but that’s unlikely, because she said she will return at lunch. So most probably it’s… oh god no.

       She makes her way to the hallway and quietly paddles to the corner, looking at entrance where to people stand. She was right. Her thoughts are confirmed, when she sees Seulgi standing outside of their apartment. She was right and she should be glad, that they’ve met, but somehow, she’s not happy at all. A very unpleasant feeling settles in her stomach, when she sees the look on Seulgi’s face. It’s empty, the same way it has been for almost a month already. Her eyes aren’t glowing, there’s none of that cute smile on her lips. She also notices, that her eyes are bloodshot, probably because of hangover. She can’t see Joohyun’s face, but she’s sure, that she’s covering her emotions pretty well, and Seulgi won’t even notice, considering she has always been a little dense.

       Yerim hates it. She loathes it and she can do absolutely nothing to fix this. She hates the cold, that took over at the apartment, and she’s sure, that it’s not because of the widely opened door, but from those two broken people, standing there, looking at each other.

       “Hi,” Seulgi sighs quietly, looking at their feet.

       “Hi,” Joohyun coldly replies.

       “Uhm, i-is Yerim here, I wanted to give her something?” She raises a hand, that’s holding a small bag. Yerim decides, that it’s her cue to enter, or someone’s going to die.

        “Unnie, who’s here?”

       Joohyun just nods in Seulgi’s direction and walks away, who stares at her back with a longing look in her eyes. She drops her head, sighs and a moment later looks back at the younger girl. She tries to smile, and Yerim gives her a B for an effort, because that’s not even a smile. She really likes her unnie’s smile. She likes, how her eyes would turn into crescents and a dimple would appear on her chin. Seulgi’s smiles have always been really bright and made her smile back at her. What she sees now is not her unnie’s smile. A soulless rise of the corners of her lips, just like the look in her eyes.

       “I brought you some pastries. I don’t remember everything, but you seemed really sad yesterday, so…” she trails off. Here’s her precious bear-unnie trying to comfort her by giving things she likes, when she’s the one should be comforting her. She should be the one comforting her now. She wants to hug her. Tight. So she does. She embraces the taller woman so tight, she can hear some bones cracking. She whispers to her ear it’s gonna be alright and gives her a small grin, that, she hopes, would cheer her up a bit. Seulgi smiles back, a barely noticeable lift of her lips, but it’s real. They say goodbye to each other, and she goes to the kitchen, where Joohyun is standing in front of stove.

       “Drama, huh?”

       Dammit. I’ll show you drama, for being so stubborn.

       Sorry, unnie.

       “Yeah, actually, it was actually pretty nice. It was about a girl, who fell down from a bridge, and her friend helped her and they started dating.  But something happened and they broke up. It’s still not finished, though, but I hope they’ll end up together.”

       “Not all stories have happy endings, Yerim.”

       “Well, I hope this one does,” Joohyun sighs and drops her head. It’s silent for a while.

       Yerim has never been more thankful to Sooyoung for being so loud.

       “Okay, unnies,” the three of them are located at a coffee shop not very far from campus, “We have to do something, because I just can’t stand this.”

       She sees doubtful glances Sooyoung and Wendy send to each other.

       “Um, Yerim-ah, I don’t think, that’s a good idea.”

       “Then what is, Wendy-unnie? Should we just let them hurt in silence? We should at least try,” Yerim claims, and Wendy sighs, defeated, and nods her head.

       “What do you suggest?” Sooyoung leans on the table, tilting her head, eyes wide. Yerim smirks.

       “So, here’s what we do…”

       She might not succeed, she might make the situation even worse than it already is.

       But it’s the least thing she can do right now.

       Try.

       “Hey, unnie, can you please bring the movie from my room? I gotta finish baking this.”

       “Sure, Wan-ah.” Wendy stares as Joohyun goes out of the living room.

       She has a very bad, bad feeling about this whole plan. They should let them out figure this out on their own. They are able to do this. They are adults. But she has to agree with Yerim, that her best friends have been acting like idiots this whole time since their break up. Of course, her own heart was broken by the news, but she’s seen the way their group’s youngest had been taking it, and she understands her fervor to bring them back together. But she also knows, that it’s not going to be that easy. She has her suspicions, why the couple might have cut their relationship of, but she can’t be sure. Nevertheless, they can try.

       Joohyun jumps, when the door behind her slams, and Yerim’s faint now talk can be heard.

       “Kim Yerim, open the door right now!” She hits the closed door with her fist and huffs. So childish. Anyway, why would they lock her in this room?

       “Hey there.”

       That’s why.

       She turns around, when she catches the voice she dreaded to hear all of this time. Seulgi. She’s tried so hard to avoid the younger girl after their fight, but it seemed like fate (or Yerim) had different plans. She looks at her ex-girlfriend and internally chuckles bitterly ex-girlfriend. She looks at the younger girl, and her heart sores. She’s still so beautiful. She can see, that she’s doing better since the last time she’s seen her almost two weeks ago, ironically, at this apartment.

       She glances at her face and notices, that the other girl is not looking at her. She looks better, but there still something missing there. It’s her eyes, she realizes. There’s none of that bright, happy glow in her eyes. That glow always was there, when they were together. She tries to remember, when she saw that smile. A lot of memories come up to her.

       They are in bed late at night, but despite of the dark she still can see that glow.

       They are walking in a park, holding hands, and she suddenly jumps on Seulgi’s back, who just picks her up and starts laughing that infectious and loud laugh of hers.

       They are trying to cook dinner (trying), and Seulgi messes something up like she usually does, and Joohyun slaps her back, soothing right after she hears her groan.

       They meet for the first time, when Seulgi’s ball rolls to her backyard. She’s trying to stop the younger from crying and smiles, picking up the ball and gives it to a small Seulgi, who stops bawling her eyes out and gives her a small smile.

       She needs to stop right now, because if she continues she’ll probably be the one crying.

       “So… are we going to talk?” Seulgi asks carefully, finally looking at her.

       “We don’t have anything to talk about.”

       “Well I think we do,” she walks closer to Joohyun and looks her in the eyes, for the first time since she’s entered the room.

       “Okay, if you want to talk, let’s talk. I’ll start. Who was that girl, you’ve been spending so much time with?” Seulgi looks confused.

       “What girl? Do you mean Jisoo? She’s just a friend, and there’s no way, that you being jealous is the reason! That is absolutely not the reason you’ve been avoiding me for almost a week before we broke up!”

       “I am a student that is about to graduate, I needed to focus on my studies and my future,” Seulgi stares at her unblinking.

       “So what, there’s no me in your future anymore?” She doesn’t respond.

       Seulgi just shakes her head and goes back to sit on the chair, turning away from her. Joohyun goes to the bed, she’s pretty sure they won’t be let out until the morning, so better sleep this sadness away than sitting in this awkward silence. As she lies down she thinks she hears a faint sob and looks at Seulgi drawing something, silently. She’s always been doing this when something bad happened, trying to distract herself. She’s not crying either (yet), so it must someone outside the room. Damn it. She guesses they were too loud while talking. She closes her eyes and tries to fall asleep, remembering the good times, when everything was fine.

       It’s really late already, one or two in morning, Seulgi think, when suddenly thunder bangs through the sky. Heavy raindrops start hitting the window, and it’s immediately scarier and even lonelier. A steady flow of memories about thunders begins to fill her hazy mind.

       She and Joohyun are walking side by side, and a deafening growl of the sky, making Joohyun sit down, closing her ears and eyes. She gets down on her knees near her and asks “unnie, are you afraid of thunder?”

       She’s laying with Joohyun in bed at her apartment, and the storm is really bad right that night. She’s hugging her tight under the blanket.

       They are in the living room, and Joohyun is shaking in her embrace, while she rubs soothing circles on her back, whispering sweet nothings in her hair.

       That was always the way it went, and she’s really thankful there weren’t really scary storms during the time they spent apart. Yes, she is heartbroken, yes, she is a little angry at herself, but she still loves Joohyun. She still loves her, and her heart absolutely crushes, seeing a shaking form hiding under a blanket on Wendy’s bed right now.

       She can’t take it.

       She just can’t look at her ex-lover’s sufferings and do nothing.

       Yes, her heart has been ripped out. But she’s not heartless.

       She stands up from the chair and paddles softly to the bed. She lays and gets closer to Joohyun, who freezes at the contact. She’s warm. Seulgi hasn’t touched Joohyun for almost two months and now when she does it’s totally not the way she wanted this to happen. Not after they had a fight, and things are still not figured out and probably won’t be in the near future. She pulls Joohyun closer and starts running her hands up and down her back. She relaxes a bit but still doesn’t say anything. Seulgi starts whispering things like it’s nothing and I’m here and she’s not really surprised, when Joohyun stops shivering and her breathing evens out.

       Of course, it does. It has been for nearly 13 years of them knowing each other and 7 years of them dating. She’s always been there for Joohyun, whenever there was a storm. She would always embrace her and calm her down. She always succeeded. And the next morning after a storm she would be met with Joohyun’s tired but glowing eyes and a blinding smile. Always a kiss wherever she pleases. Always the softest thank you one could ever hear in their lives. Always the brown eyes, that show so much love, she thinks she might drown. But not anymore. None of that anymore.

       “It’s only for tonight.”

       She rips it out and steps on it.

       “Only for tonight.”

       The sound of thunder got nothing on the sound of her heart breaking. Again.

       Joohyun’s face is the only thing that greets her next morning. Still as beautiful. Still as peaceful. Still is not her Joohyun’s.

       When she opens her eye and stares at Seulgi, completely quiet, Seulgi’s sure she’s about to breakdown.

       Because she knows, that there won’t be any of the gentle touches.

       Because she knows, that Joohyun won’t kiss her on the neck.

       Because she knows, that after this they won’t go to the kitchen and fool around.

       Because she knows, that Joohyun isn’t her anymore.

       And it hurts so mush god it hurts and it hurts even more, when her eyes move on her own to Joohyun’s soft lips, and she remembers, that Joohyun’s lips are not for her to kiss and Joohyun is not for her to touch.

       And just when she thinks there are no more pieces of her heart left to break, Joohyun proves her wrong with what she says next.

       “Let’s try to be friends. For Yerim.”

       Friends. Right.

       But she has seen the way the younger girl has been all of this time, so she nods slowly.

       At least friends. At least for Yerimie.

peek a boo