Yerim looks at Seulgi, sadly, and sighs for what feels a millionth time this evening. She, Sooyoung and Wendy decided to take Seulgi out to a bar downtown, because the latter has been hiding in her apartment for almost three weeks, refusing to hang out. When she finally agreed to talk to them and opened the door to stop their constant knocking, they were shocked to see her: hair greasy, looking like it hasn’t been washed for a couple of weeks, smell, coming from her hunched form, indicated the same thing. Ignoring Seulgi’s whines, they broke into her apartment and started making her look like a human again, which was a not really easy process, considering her unnie’s uncollaborative attitude. Thank god, it’s the holiday season, otherwise she would’ve been expelled already.

       She stares as the older woman downs her tenth glass of soju. When they all got her to come out from her apartment, that was exactly the thing they wanted her to do – get wasted. But watching at this sad person, drinking her sorrow away, makes Yerim’s heart ache. Of course, she knew it would be this bad, but she didn’t expect the suffering to be this painful. After all, they were young adults, they were about to finish a university, for god’s sake. But despite that fact, they were still behaving like stupid idiots, not ready to accept things, that happened not so long ago.

       “Yerim-ah,” Seulgi mumbles into her arm, that’s laying on the surface of a glistening table.

       “Yeah?”

       “I still miss her.”

       Ah, here it is. Seulgi said those words in that small, weak voice, that made Yerim’s heart fill with pity and sadness fort the other woman. She remembers the day they all got the news, that Joohyun and Seulgi broke up. She couldn’t believe it. The two people, who practically raised her, when she was just a young girl, not knowing where anything was, decided to part ways. Two people, who jokingly acted the way parents would act towards their child, but it felt real to her. So, it hurt especially, because it felt like her own parents got divorced.

       No one knows, why it happened. Not even Yerim, nor Wendy, nor Sooyoung. And they are ex-couple’s best friends. They just know, that Joohyun and Seulgi had been having some problems before their break up. They were fighting sometimes before this, but those were lover’s quarrels over petty and small things, and they were in each other’s hold the next day as if nothing was wrong, joking about it. They hoped this one would be like this. Except it wasn’t. They stopped talking and started avoiding the other at all cost. They started hanging out separately, sometimes with Seulgi, sometimes with Joohyun. Her oldest unnie was pretty good at covering her emotions, but she could still see, that she was hurting. However, her other unnie… Wasn’t so good.

       She offered to take Seulgi home from the bar, assuring Wendy and Sooyoung, that they’ll be fine. Seulgi was a little heavy, but, she guesses, she can endure a little of physical activity, in return for all the things the older woman’s done for her. Together with Joohyun-unnie. Aish, really, this again, I think I’m going crazy. She leads the other woman to her bedroom and gently lays her on the bed, tucking her in. She sees Seulgi staring blankly at the ceiling and goes to get water and some medicine for her, because her head will be hurting like a in the morning. When she returns to the room, Seulgi is lying on her side, she walks closer and her hair, a soft it’ll be fine, then turns around to leave the apartment.

       “I still remember out first kiss,” she mumbles, a lazy smile on her lips. Hearing that, Yerim walks back to the bed and locates herself on the floor, putting her head on her folded arms, that are now on the sheets. The floor is really cold, and her legs are going to fall asleep, and Seulgi reeks alcohol, but she can’t bring herself to care, bot now. Seeing that the younger is seated and ready to listen, Seulgi starts talking again.

       “You know, that we’ve been friends since we were kids, and I found myself falling for her in the first year of high school. She got her braces off around then, and got really, really pretty… not that she wasn’t pretty before, no. It’s just… her smile was so nice, it’s still nice, y’know. Her cheeks rise and her eyes start glowing. She looks like a bunny, when she smiles. No, she always looks like a bunny. My bunny. Wait, no, not mine, anymore. Ahh, that . Do you think she still thinks, that I look like a bear?” Realizing, that the older woman is looking at her expectantly, waiting for an answer, Yerim opens to reply.

       “I think so,” Seulgi’s eyes start glowing even brighter.

       “I hope so, that’d be cool. A bunny and a bear, huh, we were cute together, weren’t we? Yeah, I think so too. Anyway, what was I talking about? Right, our first kiss. So, we were in school, right? So, the day ends, and we go home. And as we were walking home, the sun started going down, and we were on a bridge. And she ran to the edge of the bridge, leaning over the railing, pointing at the sky, screaming Seulgi, look, look! she looked so pretty, waaah, and she was almost leaning over that railing, and I said to her be careful, but she didn’t listen to me, she never did. And guess what? She fell over! Can you imagine, Bae Joohyun, one of the top students at out university, falling off the bridge? I know, right? It’s absurd. Anyway, she’s still afraid to get into water, this loser, ha. Of course, I jumped after her, since she couldn’t and still can’t swim, and took her to the shore. She started coughing water out, and I though at that moment she’s really beautiful, wet hair and clothes, but she was almost glowing from the sun. And then I realized that I love her. Cool, right? I was really cool, jumping into the water after her and all that. And then I kissed her. It was our first kiss, bumping noses and all that stuff, but it wasn’t awkward or anything, it was really nice. She said she likes me. Yeah, and so I asked her – hey, why are you crying?”

       She doesn’t realize, that her cheeks become wet from tears, that start rolling from her eyes, until Seulgi mentions it. She hides her face in her arms and starts shaking her head, sniffing. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair! It’s not fair to her Seulgi-unnie, who is too kind to everyone, and too naïve for this world. How can she still care, if she’s crying, when she’s the one harboring a broken heart? It’s not fair to her Joohyun-unnie, who’s trying so hard to hide the fact, that she’s hurting, behind fake smiles and laughs. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to any of them. She absolutely hates it. Seulgi stretches her hand to her face and starts wiping her tears.

       “You shouldn’t cry, Yerim-ah, it doesn’t suit you,” she coos, her hair, trying to comfort the younger one, “Why are you crying? I’m the who should be crying, after all, so don’t hurt your eyes and leave all the tears to me, you don’t need to suffer. Try to smile for a bit, okay? Yeah, just like that, good girl. Please don’t worry about it so much, just live your live, calmly, and leave this to adults. We’ll figure this out, okay? If you cry now, it’ll be harder to fall asleep. And that’s bad, losing sleep over something useless like this. And young, pretty girls need their sleep to become even prettier, don’t you think? Yeah, I think so too. So, just stop crying and go home, I’ll be fine here, alone. I’ll probably just fall asleep, when you leave, ‘cause I’m too drunk, I don’t even know what I’m saying right now! Hell, I don’t even remember, what I was talking about earlier. Something ‘bout bunnies? Weird. Hey, don’t you think Hyun looks like a bunny?” She mumbles the last part under her breath, fatigue and alcohol taking over her, falling asleep.

       She tries to stop herself from crying again, biting her lip painfully, when she sees a lone tear rolling down Seulgi’s cheek, leaving a wet trail behind, glistening from the moon, shining through the window. It’s not fair.

       When she gets to the apartment she shares with Wendy and Sooyoung, she feels like she’s ready to drop dead from exhaustion. She sees Wendy sitting on the couch, watching some show for insomniacs, and on an ordinary day she would join her with pleasure, taking some snacks and drinks to enjoy. But not today. Today she’s not ready to do anything. She doesn’t want to do anything. She just wants to curl up in her bed and cry herself to a state of dreamless sleep. Or curl up with Sooyoung, but she’s probably asleep already, and she doesn’t really want to disturb her sleep with her sobs. Instead, she goes to her bedroom and changes into more comfortable clothes, then walks to the living room, sitting down on the couch, and scoots closer to Wendy, hugging her.

       “What took you so long, Yerimie?” Wendy asks, petting her head. “Was Seulgi a troublesome?” Yerim shakes her head, slowly, inhaling her unnie’s warm citrus scent.

       “They are being stupid.”

       “Who’s being stupid?”

       “Joohyun-unnie and Seulgi-unnie,” Wendy’s hand stops caressing Yerim’s head, before moving to her shoulder, separating them. Her eyes widen, when she sees tears welling up in younger’s eyes. She pulls her close again and starts rubbing her back in slow, calming motions.

       ”Why do they have to be so difficult? They are both hurting and they can see it! It’s not that hard, just go to each other and say, that you love her! Why are they so stupid?!” She sobs, quietly, melting in her unnie’s embrace.

       “You see, Yerim-ah, it’s not that easy in real life. It’s not some kind of a drama, where the main character goes to another person, tells them they love them, and they live together happily ever after. I wish, it was that easy. Sometimes, you see, a person’s pride doesn’t let them do things they wish to do with all of their heart. Yes, they love each other, yes, they both can see, that they are hurting, but we still don’t know the whole story, we don’t know, why they decided to break up. Besides, you know, how stubborn both of them can be. And that’s, probably, the saddest part, because, at this rate, none of them can find the guts to forgive the other.” She runs a soothing hand on her back, lulling her to sleep.

a/n. yeah, I totally cried writing this. tell me, if you felt anything cause I'm really curious if I had succeded. 
P.S. drunk, heartbroken Seulgi was so fun to write tbh :D