You would be lying if you said it was going great. This date. Oh Sehun. Your nerves. It was a disaster. You knew you shouldn’t have agreed to it. You felt so out of place it wasn’t even funny.

It was because you didn’t know how to act. What to do. What to say. Having another man be around you had never happened before. You were all just a big pile of goo right now-  and it was like oh Sehun was on this date alone.  You weren’t putting any input  and you were only speaking  when being spoken too and you could tell in his face that he screwed up.  that maybe he was having second thoughts as well. You weren’t even trying.

And you didn’t feel bad for it. 

No, not one bit.

Maybe now he would tell Hyorin he wanted nothing to do with you. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to this up on purpose to have a good excuse.  not that you were doing that now you were doing that naturally all by yourself.  but you would if you had to.

Sehun looked at you and tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. He picked up his fork and continued to eat and it was awkward silence with only slight murmurs around you and piano music as background noise in this exclusive French restaurant. 

You wondered what he was thinking then another apart of you didn’t even give a . You just wanted it to be over. Ugh the things Hyroin gets you into.

He continued to steal glances from you and then he finally said,“ Are you alright?”

You locked eyes with him and decided on what you wanted to say. Should you lie or tell the truth? “ I’m fine.” You lied. You nervously picked at your food and listened to your surroundings to pass some time away. You could feel sehun staring at you and that made you make no attempts to look back up.

You started to count in your head to calm yourself but it seemed to be of no use. You felt triggered this whole date was triggering your anxiety and your paranoia of Kai finding out made you on edge.

But still Sehun tried, even if this date kept rolling down the hill. “ What’s your favorite food?” He was making small talk in the light of the bad tension in between you two.  

You dared to look up and got into his sparkling eyes that you had seemed to notice at your apartment. Looking at him was dangerous and you hated to admit it. He had this thing about him that drew you to him and you wanted nothing to resist the pull.

“I-I like rice,” you stuttered stupidly embarrassing yourself in front of him.

What the ?

“I like rice too,” he smiled.“ But what do you like to eat like a main dish not a side dish,” he said looking at you, amused.  

You thought about something that you liked to eat a lot and from what you could pull out of your was kais favorite food, “ I really like fried chicken I eat it a lot.” You shyly looked at him. “what about you what do you like to eat?”  

“well, I love everything, anything that has meet, but to be more specific I would have to say I like to eat sushi.”

“ew I hate sushi,” you scrunched you nose. He chuckled.

“ Well not everyone likes the idea of sushi.” He said.

Again, the mood calmed down and no one was really saying anything anymore. And you didn’t want to even try to initiate into the conversation making process.  

Again, Sehun was staring at you and you knew he was going to ask you something that you probably did even want to answer. You were bored- you were sick of small talk. You just wanted to go home. You hated you self for it, but it was true. No matter how handsome this man was- you couldn’t bring yourself to stomach the fact that you could possible date him. you just could see yourself dating him. Hyorin really wanted you like him, but no matter how much you tried he wasn’t Kai.

Sehun could feel this date was going nowhere and he was embarrassed about it. He didn’t know how to be around woman and he felt like an idiot when it came to them. He worked so much most of his life he never had time for woman. His life was focus solely on the company after his father died and nothing ever since.

He knew about you though, he knew you had been hurt and he wanted to let you know that he wouldn’t hurt you-  but would that cross the line? Would you get mad? He didn’t want you mad at him. That wouldn’t really be good to have a bad first impression.

It was sad really how hurt you looked you looked so fragile and all he wanted to do was hold you. It was too son but he wanted to. If you would let him he would. He felt like he could fix you. Maybe even fix himself if you would help. Sehun had a past too he had got hurt once and that’s why he was her now. Hyorin wasn’t only bugging you about a love life. Hyorin knew everything about him and he hoped that one day you could too know as well.

He wanted to know more about you too but you wouldn’t budge. You really seemed annoyed by him and his questions. He knew that after this he would never see you again. You just didn’t like him. And he could sense that. He didn’t know why? But it was hard for him to accept that. But still he wanted to keep trying to hopefully get you to try and like him a little.  

It was kind of a word vomit to keep the conversation going but he threw up, “look I know that you’ve been hurt, I promise I won’t do the same.” And it hung in the air like that. Right above your head in big bold letters.

#hurt

#promise

Flashing in big capital letters.

Your eyes went wide and you felt stunned! That was the last thing you thought he would say. And what did he mean he knew? He knew what? He doesn’t know anything! An-and ing Hyorin!!!!!! What did she exactly say about you to him? You knew they were close-  but she was closer to you! she wouldn’t do That would she? She wouldn’t blow your out the water and tell a handsome man like him that you were a used cheap ?!!!! 

Correct translation: A DUMB .

You internally gasped.

Nooooooooooooooooo-  

Your   breathing increased 1000% and you felt like you couldn’t breathe by how rapid it felt. You were breathing to fast, you felt too stunned by his words. It was too close for comfort. Your pulse was out of control and you were seeing stars.  your face felt hot.

Even after all that panicking in your head you still managed out a cool calm and collect, “I’m fine, now…” And smiled.

Which you weren’t but you tried to make it as believable as possible. 

He sat his fork down and gave you a look and cocked his head to the side. “Listen, y/n I can see right through you. I can see it in your eyes even when you try to smile. It’s effecting you drastically.”

Your fake smile faded and you felt attacked. You felt like . Someone could finally see through your bull “apparently”-  and you weren’t fooling anyone. You hated that he could see through your façade so easily. But why? How?

And you just stared at him. You didn’t know what to say. You had nothing to ing say to that. And for once you felt . Exposed. Sehun was looking right at you. He was exposing you.  all of you. You felt in front of him even though you weren’t.  It didn’t feel right. It felt wrong.

He cut a piece of his stake and put it in his mouth as you watched him with alerted eyes. He knew that he had stunned you and that made you feel that he had the upper hand. You were going to shut up and let him speak you wanted to know what he had to say. And how he would say it. 

He finally looked up again at you through his eyelashes. “I’m not going to lie when I first saw you- when Hyorin show me a pic of you I know I had to have you. You were beautiful - and when I met you just now I knew I wanted to have you even more. "But then,” he cocked his head to the side, “I could tell that you were hurt. Your smile struggled to connect with your eyes and your body language told me that you’re not into me. But how is that when I’m handsome, rich, and respectful? Well miss y/n that only left me with two things; number one: you’ve been hurt before.” He paused to see your reaction before he continued. “ number two: you have a man..” He paused again and left you with that. “and you don’t have a man so I suspect the latter.”

This man really had you figured out. He was expectational in his first impressions and yet you had no clue how to read him. He seemed blocked off and distant. But he could read you so easily.  why?

“ Your an open book, you can fool Hyorin but not me,”

I can fool you enough. You though when jongin piped in your head.

“Well your wrong.” you spat

“Oh no, but I’m right.” He added.

You quickly drunk your wine and you downed it. Him eyeing you with his hands clasped together in front of him, his elbow on the table. 

“From now on, I’ll see you, from now on let me heal you.”

Heal you? You were broken beyond repair this wasn’t an auto body shop you could put another part in and make you work again.  He wasn’t a mechanic. ( A/n: get your mind out the gutter)

Your stomach churned and you didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Hyorin didn’t warn you how straight forward he was and it was kind of  scary. It was scary to think of someone trying to fix you. Did you want to be fixed? Did you want Someone to try and fix what someone else broke?

Nah, you didn’t want that. It wasn’t his job. You could try and fix it your self. You didn’t need him trying to get involved complicating things more. 

And then there was Jongin. 

Where would he fit into all of this? Where was he going to stand? He was still going to come around- and what if he showed up and Sehun was there? how would you explain that to him? to Sehun? Who still believes you have no one. 

But you did. You had Kim Jongin.

His dynamic would change and you would feel bad. But why would you feel bad? You said you didn’t care what anyone thought of you?

If so, why didn’t Hyorin know. 

Whatever. Point was this was crazy he was crazy to think that you were just going to give in and accept it. You weren’t going to accept it. 

“Look-” you finally spoke. “I don’t need anyone trying to fix me, I’m fine.”

His eyes boarded into yours and you tried not to get intimidated by him. He was so intimidating. Would Kai feel the same? 

But they would never know of each other!

“Who said it was your choice?” He replied.

You drew your head back yet again getting hit with his bluntness and straight forwardness this man was really into you. Like reallllly into you. 

“This is crazy,” you said putting your silverware down it making a clank on the table. You shook your head and looked down. 

“Crazy? What’s crazy? Any woman would love for a man to cater to her every need to fix her-

"I’m not every woman!” you spat

You both stared at each other none of the other backing down. He was insane to think of such things to think you wanted to be a charity case. Just because he was the  rich and handsome CEO of OH Enterprises didn’t mean he was going to have you wrapped around his finger as well. 

“Hyorin said I would have a hard time with you," 

One of your eyebrows raised, "oh really and what else did Hyorin say,” you said challenging him. 

He sighed and sat back in his seat taking the clothed napkin off his lap and patted it in the table. 

“A lot of things,” he said. His eyes boarded into yours and you felt in. You tried to hold on but it was of no use. “ she told me not to hurt you because your already hurt.” He never broke eye contact and you felt the need to blink but couldn’t because you didn’t want to miss any second of this.

“And-” you added

“And that the guy that hurt you used you and you never have been the same since.” You turned cold. Why would she do that! Why would she tell him that? You knew it! ing JUDAS! You felt angry and upset with her even if it was the truth. I guess you did care what he thought. Because you felt so small in front of him. If they were really as close as Hyroin says there are, she had to tell him everything.

She really  is ing Judas.

“And?” Your voice cracked.

“And that he wouldn’t love you, he couldn’t, because you were just a toy and he was just an average ,” average huh? Such a Hyroin thing to say.  

You couldn’t deny anymore,  he was telling the truth. He wasn’t lying. She told him. She told him everything. These were the exact words from Hyorin’s ‘Judas like’ mouth. 

Okay so she wanted you to start over but how could you wipe a clean slate with a dirty towel? How could she tell him everything you didn’t want him to know? You barely considered this date before and you definitely didn’t want it now. You couldn’t try and be with someone who knew the pain that hurt the most. Kim Jongin belonged in the world of just you and him no one needed to enter and change it. Oh Sehun wasn’t allowed to change it and lee Hyorin wasn’t allowed to tell the story of it.

By now your eyes rimmed red and you lost your appetite. Your hands sweated nervously in your lap and you looked down. You felt exposed as the worlds dumbest . 

“Let’s leave,” you said in a quiet tone. You were done- this night had to end while you still had the tears in the back of your eyes..

Sehun took a look at you and seen what he done he tore your walls down and he had you cornered now all all he had to do was sit and wait while you ran into his arms. No matter how long it took.