Jongin had left a little while ago. But he would be back. He always came back. He would never tell you when, it was always a surprise. But that surprise always kept you on your toes- he was always in the back of your mind making you feel restless. at times it was exhausting. 
 
 

This time- the time away from him would give you every opportunity to recollect what you done and scold yourself for the next few days until his arrival. You would nitpick every wrongful- sinful action you had done as you had let him back into your life. now here you were waiting around for him again. 
 
 

You would bash yourself until you cried yourself asleep, it turning into everything you were upset about lately. You would down spiral into nothingness, because you felt like nothing. He made you feel like nothing. As always. 
 
 

And then you would accept it. Accept that you deserved it. Accepting not to be loved. Understanding that it was okay when it wasn't- that it wasn't that bad as you thought it to be. but it was.. And you would continue willingly to let it happen- to let Jongin have his ways with you. You knew because you go through this every time-  a repetitive way of thinking when he was all up inside your head making you crazy about him. him mind ing you, the other kind of ing he was capable of. 
 
 

"I'm so proud of you," although you felt dead inside again you couldn't show it. Especially to your best friend Hyorin. She was anti everything Jongin. 
 
 

You smiled a fake smile. In order for her not to suspect anything.  
 
 

"You finally manage to get away from him, he hasn't contacted you right-  or anything?" She said looking you deep in your soul. You looked deep into hers and lied straight to her face. something you had become accustom to doing when it came to Jongin. 
 
 

"No, thank god," you lied. Your stomach turned and you were a millisecond from throwing up at the dinner table at her apartment. from nervousness. If she knew what had happen yesterday, she would go ballistic. She hated that dirty bastard. 
 
 

"Good because I'd beat your first, then his for thinking it was ever okay to with you again. He wasn't there to pick up the pieces when you fell apart I was, and even though you pretend your okay - I know your still not over him and that's okay I know you loved him," 
 
 

I love him. You thought. 
 
 

"But your relationship with him was toxic and I can't just stand by and watch you fall apart anymore because of him. Y/n some guys are just like that you can't change them no matter how hard you try and for that I'm so glad you're not talking to him anymore plus I have a surprise for you" she eyed you before getting up to see your reaction and when you didn’t give her one and you stared blankly at her she got up. 
 
 

You started to get nervous, your heart beating fast as you watched her grab her phone from the living room that was next to the open kitchen of her apartment. 
She came back all giggles and smiles and you tried to fake one as you anticipated what kind of crazy idea she had up her sleeve. And it better not be- 
 
 

"I got you a man, he's handsome, rich, tall, and not Jongin." She Squealed. 
 
 

Your stomach pooled to the end of your rectum and you found yourself sweating so instantly like you had the s. You watched as she flipped through her gallery in her phone to find the picture of this man she wanted to hook you up with. A man to replace Jongin.  
 
 

You eyed her you suddenly not wanting to eat anymore. She didn't know what she was doing to you. She was going to pull a man into your life-  who may or may not fall for you- and you couldn't give him anything in return. Jongin would always be your main focus. He would have no room in your being. 
 
 

"Ah here," she passed the phone across the table to you and You shakily grabbed it. you held your breath the whole time. He was beyond handsome- of course. But you felt nothing. No excitement or any anticipation as you stared into his eyes. " so, what do you think?" She cut off your thoughts and your eyes ripped away from his. You passed the phone back and lied. 
 
 

"He's really hot!" You said trying to be believable as possible. But that’s all you could say there was no interest there at all. Jongin had man every man unlikeable compare to him. No one was him and that’s what Hyorin loved the most any man was a good man if they weren't Jongin 
 
 

"Good I know your type!" No, you don't I like ed up s who can't love me. " well his name is Oh Sehun, he works with me at the office. I'm his secretary," wait this is the guy she always talked about. That CEO?!!! Now she sparked some interest. But not the kind she wanted. 
 
 

"Wait this is the rich guy that you cater too every day?" You said finally showing some interest. But not because you liked him but because she was always talking about how lonely and handsome he was. He was overly nice and that's something most CEO's never were. They were always . 
 
 

"Yeah that's the nice CEO I'm always talking about," she giggled. Feeling glad that she got your attention. I showed him your picture and he was very interested. Something I've never seen from my handsome boss. You know I've been working with him for 5 years now. He trusts me I'm like his best friend now. We recently got close. Not in a romantic way- he is handsome but- we both agreed we don't see each other that way. Plus, I'm dating Junmyeon." (Junmyeon was an heir to another rich company) 
 
 

You took all of what she said in and tried your best to flow with it. "That's so crazy, he looks so young to be a CEO." You said surprised by his looks. 

She looked down kind of sad "Well he lost his dad five years ago- so at a young age he took over the company. It was his father's last wishes. They didn't want some stranger running the business while Sehun grew up. So, he kind of grew up fast, he's more mature than your average ," she said referring to Jongin. And you wanted to defend him. He was a good person, no one knew Jongin like you did. They just saw what they wanted to see. " well, no pressure, but he wants to meet you." 

Your eyes about popped out of your sockets as she made that statement. What the was he going to do with you? You didn't know how to act around people. Let alone guys. Especially rich handsome guys who had a slight interest in you. Which you didn’t know why he did in the first place. 

There was silence and you didn’t know what to say. What do you say? You didn’t want to meet him let alone get to know him. It would just be a waste of time. Mostly of his. He wouldn’t know what he was getting himself into as he would come to like you. He would expect you to be just as lonely as him, you were but only when you were alone. Which you weren't. Jongin waltzed back into your life ing it up for the handsome CEO. Maybe if he would have come sooner.  

Actually no. You still wouldn’t have tried. You were strictly for Jongin. 

"I.. don't know," You adverted your eyes to your unfinished cold food. You nervously played with your sweaty hands under the table. 

She gave you that look she always gave you when you were trying to wither away because of your shyness. "He's nice, and he definitely isn't Jongin." There she went again insulting him again making you feel the need to defend him again. 

You looked down and thought about it for a second. To make it seem like you were actually interested. Which you never were. But she would never know that. Then you looked up at her and grimaced. 

"Okay I'll try but if I'm not into it I don't want to see him again," which you won't fall for him. So, you wouldn’t be seeing him again anyways. 

"Okay!" She said getting happy you were trying. Then she turned serious. " I just want to help I want to see someone love you not use you." Your eyes prickled and you felt emotional. Maybe you should try? 

It wouldn't hurt right? 

Let's just see what this is about. Nothing more. 

- 
You stared at yourself in the vanity mirror and looked at the girl before you. She looked beautiful- all dolled up seeing a rich CEO who was very interested in her but how come she felt sad. Sad that this was a good thing- sad that she was going behind his back. Sad that she hated change, and she was definitely scared of a new man. All she knew was to be treated like instead of like a woman she was- well used to be. 

You continued to stare at your beautiful reflection wanting to run away from her and crawl back into bed. But you couldn't he would be here to pick you up at your apartment soon. Plus, Hyorin was here and she wouldn’t allow that. 
 

You had on a short black cocktail dress with black high heels. Your hair was curled down your back and your make up was on point. Your nails were done. And you felt out of place in your own body. Hyorin had bought you these things to make a good impression on her boss. But you just didn't see yourself in these cloths. They felt way too expensive for your taste. 
 

"Okay last thing," Hyorin had come from the bathroom to bring you the last finish touch of makeup she wanted to pack on you with. "This is called red devil," she applied this dark red lipstick to your lips changing your whole look with one product. You looked in the mirror again and you felt even more unrecognizable.  
 

You looked too beautiful, you never tried- you had no confidence. The girl looking back at you looked like she had confidence. But inside her was you, a pathetic scared girl. 
 

Hyorin caught your doubtful look in the mirror behind you. "Don't for one second think your unworthy of him y/n," she turned you around put her hands on your shoulders. " he will like you, he has too your too hot- way too hot. Plus, you're a nice person which is one of the qualities he is looking for in a woman." 

I'm way too nice. 
 

You heard your door bell ring and you began to panic on the inside. You wanted to hide under the blankets in your room and never come out.  
 

Hyorin quickly grabbed your hand and led you down stairs. She sat you down on the couch and told you to, "breathe," but how could you breathe when the coming events would change your life forever? Letting another man into this apartment? No, this was so unlike you. No other man had graced these boundaries.  
 

Your eye felt twitchy and you felt like backing out. Hyorin noticed and told you to calm down but you couldn't, you felt like having a panic attack in front of the handsome rich young man. He was doing all kinds of to you without you yet having to meet him. 

. You thought as you swallowed possible throw up that might have come up. Or maybe it was just spit who knows. Point was that you were a wreck and at any moment your body could shut down- 

He walked in. 

Thump thump. Thump thump. 

It was all in slow motion. 

He was tall. 

Thump thump thump- 

He towered over Hyorin. 

God he was so handsomely tall. Jongin was tall but Sehun was taller. 

Still everything was in slow motion and you felt like an idiot as you stared at him not saying anything. Looking like a creep. 

Abort mission breathing has decreased  

He slightly looked at you and then greeted hyorin then the moment his eyes connected with yours your breathing stopped and you didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

You quickly stood up and looked up at him. He smiled at you his eyes twinkling. Something you never seen in a man. Jongin eyes didn’t twinkle they were just dark and empty. And loveless. 

You bowed to him and he did the same he grabbed your hand and kissed it and hyorin watched on the sidelines like a cheerleader. Smiling like a complete idiot. 

He let it go. The warmth that you felt disappearing. Why was there warmth?  

“Shall we?” He motioned to the door. At this point you were sweating buckets and you wouldn’t be surprised if your makeup was dripping.  

You nodded your head and Hyorin smiled like an idiot. 

“Text me if you need anything,” and with that you exited your apartment Hyorin shutting the door behind you both. 

Leading you to the parking lot, Sehun unlocked his car. It was a fancy sports car. You didn’t know the name but it look exclusively expensive.  

He opened the door for you and you were met with the smell of leather. The interior of the car out of this world.  

He walked around the car getting in himself as he shut the passenger door and you watched him. He got in pushed it to start out his seat belt in then looked at you.  

He smiled and you tried to- you hoped you didn’t look like a troll.  

“I’ve made reservations for the both of us I hope you're hungry.” Again his eyes kept captivating you something about them was drawing you into him. His face was magnificent and he smelled like Versace.  

How was this man alone? And why did he have interest in you of all people. You weren’t even that special or good looking. You felt average. He was rich handsome and a CEO you were pretty sure he had girls falling at his feet- 

“Yeah, I’m hungry,” you lied even though you wanted to throw up. Your anxiety drowning you. 

He smiled and pulled off. The smile was heart papillating. Why did he smile like that? He needed to stop! This was a large amount of er you had here. And in the back of your mind you couldn’t help but think Oh, Sehun  you in and there was no going back. He entered your world. And now you were about to enter his. Too late.  

All you had to do was stick to the plan. 

The 'never let another man in' plan.