Bo Young has settled into her drama routine. She woke up early each morning, driven to the filming site, went through the motions of her scenes and then came back home to rest. It has become rote, mechanical. She was glad for it, shedding her real self from her character and being Mi Yeung the minute she stepped on the set. She found it better that way and made acting with him much more tolerable. Their scenes together are progressing slowly, and she found fully immersing herself in the imaginary character allowed her some control.

Hyung Sik is flawless in his acting. He has grown as an actor, as seen in the depth and breadth of his scope. Both of them consummate actors that one would hardly have thought they barely speak nor stay in the same room more than what is called for, if they based it on their interactions during filming. How easily she could have succumbed once more to his charms, have they been real and directed at her as they once were.

They've been filming nonstop. She has just finished several flashbacks; scenes of her childhood with her dad and her halmoni, snippets of scenes of the war and after. She knew most of these will likely get cut depending on the flow of the drama once PD Lee start editing. But for now the camera is constantly on her, on them, capturing the behind the scenes as well as the NGs which have not been many.

Hyung Sik continues to be easy going on the set, joking around (just not with her), kind to everybody, pleasant. But she knew him from a long time ago and knew how vastly different he is now, at least with her. Fortunately their scenes so far had been in the early stages of the characters' relationship. And writer Ms. Kim was intuitive enough to limit their interaction to capture the initial awkwardness. Awkwardness which can be played off as shyness rather than aloofness on their (his) part, she thought. He’s also been filming his own scenes in a different location, where the military scenes are taking place. As such their interactions so far has been minimal.

They’re both in Ms. Kim’s trailer today; the scriptwriter has been very hands-on in the development of their characters, calling for a “huddle” meeting before the start of a new episode every now and then to get everybody on the same page. She, Hyung Sik and Ms. Kim sat in the small cramped trailer, while PD Lee spoke about how he wanted the scenes captured. 

They are filming a somewhat romantic scene, one that builds up their character’s attraction with each other. And both Ms. Kim and PD Lee wanted the two of them to start rehearsing outside of filming, so that their familiarity will translate itself to the screen. 

"You will need to show more body language, Hyung Sik-kie," Ms. Kim said. "Jung Hwa's is very attracted right now to Mi Yeung although holding himself back. I want some flirting in their interaction, but not an outright seduction, not yet. He is a passionate man." She turned to Bo Young, "Mi Yeung feels an attraction too, but she is still innocent; I think, Bo Young-ie, you have that well on hand, but I want you to show that you are very aware of his interest and are quite drawn to him." 

They listened attentively, while PD Lee went over how they would film the scene, adding his input here and there. "Let's get started then," he said, rubbing his hands in anticipation. "I wanted to get a few scenes done today before it gets colder."

PD Lee and Ms. Kim went on ahead, while Hyung Sik held the door open for her. "We need to rehearse together soon," he started. 

Bo Young nodded, "I suppose we can meet earlier before the start of each filming. It might be too hard to rehearse afterwards."

"We'll see how it goes. I don't think we'll need to rehearse as much as Ms. Kim thinks. It's just like any drama you and I have done countless times before."

"Yes, of course," she agreed, "we're not new actors. Acting as something else altogether is typical enough in this situation." 

Hyung Sik opened his mouth as if to say more but changed his mind. They went to prep for the scene.

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They shot it several times. She found she could not fully stare at his eyes and had been focusing instead on the bridge of his nose, his forehead, anywhere but his eyes. PD Lee was having a difficult time catching the right angle, in finding the right expressions he wanted to show. So he kept having Bo Young and Hyung Sik change their positions in the scene, the angle of their stances, reshooting until he found the shot he was looking for. "Let's try it again, please. Hyung Sik-kie please step closer, so that she's at an angle to you and your bent head almost touching hers. Action!"

Bo Young braced herself again and looked up at him, this time her eyes finally meeting his full on as he stood almost just a handbreadth away. His gaze is heady, compelling, and this time the breaths they each drew were involuntary. His eyes travelled to her lips and she felt the heat suffuse her cheeks as the seconds seem to stretch and drag on. She dropped her eyes and bit her lips, the quaver in her voice as she said her lines were real, as she tried to get hold of herself and stay in character. 

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they heard PD Lee yell cut, satisfied finally with the scene he obtained. Hyung Sik stepped away to give themselves some distance, while they await further instructions from the PD. 

Her pride made her stay, rather than run off to her trailer to compose herself as she would have liked to have done. Instead she stood as if she were unaffected by the scene they just did. Her face is neutral, her nonchalance well studied, though the blush that graced her cheeks were anything but. 

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[flashback]

"You're blushing again," he whispered, his face so close to hers as they sat together. 

"Because, you're so obvious. The camera is still filming us; stop looking at me like that," she whispered back.

"I can't help it; you're too lovely," he said, bending closer as if he were about to kiss her.

"Aissh, go sit over there," she said, pushing him slightly. They were filming the library scene, and again, Hyung Sik was not being mindful of where they are nor who might be watching. He stood up immediately after her gentle shove, turning his head and spying the bts camera off to the side.

He hid the guilty smile that tried to make its way onto his lips, as he was caught yet again by the ever present camera. Truth be told, he never really minded, only because Bo Young insisted they keep decorum that he has been reining in his affections. Everybody knew how affectionate he naturally is and more than one set of knowing smiles and eyes had been cast towards them whenever they are seen together. Plenty of the crew suspected their relationship has blossomed past the initial stage already; however lacking confirmation from either of them, kept everything just mere speculations. But no one who saw them together would have thought otherwise- he simply could not hide his feelings whenever they're together.

They filmed the scene with them sitting in the library; he pretending to read his book but his eyes were studying her instead. While she deliberately pretended not to notice, and was rather studiously reading the book in front of her. His hand reached out to entwine his fingers with hers and then held it hidden underneath the table. His action was so nonchalant, so reckless as if he's perfectly fine with so public a skinship, while she hid her face behind the book in embarrassment.

They shot the scene multiple other times, and even while on standby not once did he let go of her hand.

 

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Bo Young is flawless in her dramatic scenes. Though she projects an aura of cuteness, it is on the drama scenes that she truly shines. The emotions that would burst forth from her allow the viewers to feel what she's feeling, as if they too were living that moment in time. They filmed the tender moment between father and daughter, that shot of Choi Min Shik sunbaenim as Mr. Lee grasping her hand, showing her a glimpse of his exhaustion, how he's barely hanging onto life for her sake, was choked with emotions. Bo Young could drop tears effortlessly enough but she always needed to prep her mind. This time they came easily summoned, as she, Mi Yeung, broke down in her father's arms. 

She stepped on the threshold, her face reddened from crying. She is looking forward with eyes still unseeing. Her words were meaningful. "I'm tired of struggling. This nonexistent living of each day. And it seems only to get harder and harder as each day passes. I'm tired of worrying about what to do." Her voice soft as a whisper, echoing an old sentiment once spoken so very long ago. "I want to be selfish now and live."

His hand had reached out to hers. The look they shared was unfathomable as she placed hers in his, and they sat together watching the rain. After a while, they finally heard PD yell cut. 

Hyung Sik's hand felt warm and firm; it still fits hers like a glove. She looked at their hands clasp together, hands that used to hold onto hers unbidden, always searching, reaching for hers; the same one now that is so quick to let her go. 

She lifted her face to feel the brush of rain as it fell around them, and let it mix in the pool of her unshed tears. 

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Another day done, another day over

Tomorrow is yet to come

But the past won't let me be

Dragging me down, over and under.

Outside I'm calm

But I haven't stopped treading water

Barely keeping myself afloat

Else I'll drown...

You keep me unmoored

Submersed half forgotten

I'm hanging on by a thread

I cannot breathe, I cannot swim any longer

There's no surviving you if I fall again...