Chapter One

Chapter One: First Love

Fall, (everything)

“One, two, three,” Hoseok was leading us to the rehearsals on the stage, it was quiet. The only sounds that were so loud are from our ear piece. It’s still early in the morning as I looked around the crowd. The staffs are running back and forth, probably getting panic from this big event that will happen tonight.

“Yoongi ah,” I heard Hoseok’s voice through the ear piece as I make eye contact at him. He was as always strict when it comes to our choreograph pieces. I wouldn’t blame him though. It’s early in the morning and he had to wake up in such an early state. It’s my fault maybe I shouldn’t be staring for this long.

“Do you have any problem now?” Hoseok’s voice was calm and that made me feel relief for a while. I knew him, and he knew the problem lays on me so I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone wants to check up on me. I sighed and nod once to make them sure I’m fine.

“Yeah I’m fine, sorry,” I confirmed as I saw Namjoon’s eyes staring at me. Jungkook is nowhere to be found, must be on the other side of the stage drinking water.

“It’s okay hyung, just tell us if you forgot the steps,” Hoseok smiles came to me almost quickly before he tells the staff that we need a minute break. I had to stand there for too long before I regain myself and stop thinking about the occurrence that happened earlier.

“Hey, hyung are you okay?” I looked up and saw Namjoon looking down on me, I nod and gave him a small smile,

“I am..” I fixed my ear piece, letting out a small smile at him and looked down as I sat on one of the platforms from the stage.

“Can’t believe Hoseok is so worked up,” Namjoon sat beside me and I looked over him to see what he’s talking about. Hoseok was there practicing with Jimin, we’ve been repeating the dance steps over and over and I have to admit it was quite exhausting, not when your mind is in a different place and time.

“Hyung said you’ve been out of it lately, But I know we’re going to recover from this,” Namjoon smiled at me before he gave me a quick pat on the shoulders. I, too gave him a quick smile before I laugh for a while.

“Yeah I know, I’m kind of excited to perform…” I feel giddy all of a sudden.

“And nervous..” I added before Taehyung came to my sight and said something about the practice again. At this, Namjoon nodded at him and stood up before he looks down on me and sighed, “Well, We all are but we’ll pull through. We’re bangtan!”

Yes, we’re bangtan. I smiled at that thought before I even stare again at the empty seats of the crowd.

“Hyung is daydreaming again,” I heard Jungkook’s faint voice and at this I stood up and mess with him a little bit. Maybe I was dreaming a little bit, but who knows I might end up in another real scenario from what I’m thinking.

“I don’t daydream, I’m just thinking things..” I put a shoulder around Jungkook’s shoulder with a smug smile on my face and laugh things with him then I saw Jin approaching us before Hoseok gets on the spot of the stage to rehearse.

My heart, it doesn’t feel at ease though, I just wonder if it could ever calm down.

“Aye, Hyung will say the most questionable things,” here comes Jin with his jokes.

“You’re my hyung but I will never get you sometimes,” I laughed at them playfully and even bump at them, they are such a kid sometimes I don’t know if I’m babysitting them.

“Hey guys, sound check rehearsals!” Namjoon called us over by the platform stage and we get on, I saw a quick figure among the crowd. They were five girls. I didn’t quite know why my heart jump at that point but my position is far off to see who they really are.

“Bangtansonyeondan, Sound check cut.”

I fixed my ear piece to hear the sound of the song coming for it. We performed last because there are some other artists that will use the stage for later practices. I performed with my heart beating fast, the sounds are loud it was quite nerve wrecking to me, per se I didn’t get to get my focus on but I’m glad that we did the performance without anyone looking over me.

But you’re my everything you’re my
everything, you’re my
everything, you’re my
Please go away huh

I don’t know that every time I perform I was never at ease, I felt like something is about to happen, someone is there to come and see me. I have these strange feelings every time I move a muscle to perform. A certain smile maybe…. or maybe I’m hallucinating again? tired or restless you may say but I never felt like this before. My mind, it’s a mess, it was never like this, it might occur that maybe I have a lot to think about. Other than that I kept on performing, the girls in front of the seats are still there waiting for us. The lights are dimmed so I couldn’t see them properly, all I know is the music is playing inside, the lights are all over the place and my heart is at mess.

“Ah, hello..”

That voice was so familiar. I don’t know how it got into my earpiece but it always bump into my ears. Back into my memories, back into the deep things I want to forget. Yoongi, you’re always at risk with these things.

I can’t put it into rest.

Before I knew it, the rehearsals end with a breeze. I didn’t get to see what it is but there are some artists that are right ahead on us. I checked my earpiece for one time before a sharp sound came to it and immediately winced. I ripped it out of my ear because of the sharp noise. My ear hurts and I didn’t know where that sound came from but Namjoon was beside me and tapping on the shoulders saying something about…

“They are about to rehearse Hyung, c’mon..” I looked up to him while I fix my ear piece. My ear is still ringing for a while until I get a better view on what’s in front of me…

“Okay, Red Velvet get onto the next line.”

I heard a collection of saying “yes” before they got into the stage. There were four girls now, the other one where is she…

“Ah, I’m sorry, hyung let’s go…” Namjoon pat me on the shoulders before I looked at him and gulp hard at the lump of my throat that has been stuck ever since. I always get this giddy feeling whenever these girls are around, is there something on their group that I didn’t know?

“O-okay,” I stuttered before I put my head down, I don’t want to embarrass myself again so I just go along with Namjoon and felt uneasy again for the umpteenth time.

From the corner of my eyes when I walked down the stage, I saw them getting ready. The tall one was looking for someone, this gives me a feeling that their other member is missing. Maybe she has gone back to their dressing room, who knows? But I shouldn’t worry about them... I looked ahead, back down the stairs and realize I’ve been breathing heavily ever since…

“Ah, I need to go somewhere else…”

My mind needs to go somewhere else..

Before Namjoon could even ask me I nod and just looked around and stared at him for the longest time, in Namjoon’s eyes the worry never disappears. I, too was worried for me at least, because just the thought of something that I should be thinking is living with me on edge. Namjoon couldn’t do anything else before he nods and smile at him with an understanding gaze.

“Of course, but be back Hyung, Sejin hyung won’t want us missing…”

I’ll just be here Namjoon. I wanted to reassure, but for me it isn’t the case. I just gave him a curt look before Namjoon part ways and went to the dressing room. Leaving me on this empty hallway, the silence is deafening me, but my heart is never at silence. I look around to see the hallways empty, but the sound that is muffling outside makes me feel more on the edge. I look around and hum to a song that has been stuck on my head ever since. How fitting it is that I’m just all alone, waiting for someone. I don’t know.. at this point I just want to see someone who will just answer my question-

“Ah-“ someone bumped into my shoulder as I was walking through the hallways, that was odd she was petite and small. Well, we have almost the same height but thinking about it makes me wonder ‘how does she ever get to see people in her h- ‘

“I’m sorry,” she keeps on bowing but I just keep on staring, the hands inside my pocket is shaking, almost as if I want to just hold her hand. “I was such in a hurry, I’m sorry..” she keeps on bowing, she is so respectful in my case, her voice is soft but almost familiar again on my ears.

are my ears perhaps playing tricks on me…?

“Oh… it’s okay…” I whispered because I don’t even know what I’m talking about. We were just standing there near a hallway; no one was there only us.

“Oh, are you Suga-shii?” that makes my heart jumped.

“Wh-what?” I conclude and leaned in closer. She must have felt shy because I saw her ears getting red, ah Yoongi you have to make a girl so shy in front of you huh, great.

“I mean, I heard your name a few times.” She said with the most warmest smile, its so familiar yet unknown but my lips suddenly curled into a smile without me knowing. I didn’t know her but she has the most welcoming smile as if I knew her from years behind.

“Ah, nae I’m Suga, from BTS…” I stood there awkwardly, she was laughing softly though and I just had to stop the urge to keep staring at her eyes to see them, it was inviting, she was just there to be by my side.

“I know, I’m Wendy by the way,” she extends her hands and I saw how small they are, the little details I always see about her makes my heart beats ten times faster than it already is. So she’s Wendy, from…

“Red Velvet,” As if she can hear my thoughts I looked at her with wide eyes. I don’t know how but when she chuckles her cheeks lifted up, her eyes staring at me as she embarrassingly looks down. I felt embarrassed and relief at the same time. Her eyes though, it was what makes her more familiar and me, at ease, how does she do it. I don’t know…

“I was just rushing back to the stage,” She was smiling at me as if she’s known me for a while. She must have been the girl who they are looking for on the stage…

“Well, they’ve been looking for you,” I said with the most unattractive smile I could muster, she stared at me though and laughed with me and I felt comfortable and it makes my heart jump more but I don’t really care at this point. She was friendly and is a warm person; it’s nice to meet friends like this.

A friend, that I felt so familiar with.

“Oh, I didn’t know, I’ll be going now. Thank you Suga-shii~” her eyes brightens with delight, as she extends her hand and smiles at me with soft eyes that is staring back at me. Her hand…is she going to make a handshake…with me…?

“Ah, yes… uh…” I was unsure for that moment but I slowly extend my hands, wrapped my fingers around her small hands and slowly shake it. I felt like the world suddenly slows down for a minute or so, how was this able to happen. I don’t know I must have did something in my past life to feel comfortable around her…

“I’m looking forward to your performance, you can say I’m a fan..” she was laughing with her whole heart and I appreciate how she knows we’re performing. I was still holding her hand but she doesn’t seem to mind, but for me I did, how her hands are small yet perfectly fitting into mine. I want to let go though and maybe know her even more, but time is so cruel to us and even to me. She has to go…

“Thanks,” I said as I slowly let go, time is back again on this normal pace, and I she looks like she want to stay longer, “I’m looking forward to your performance as well. Love to see you. I mean you guys..” I didn’t know how much embarrassment I can hold.

“I know you can do it well,” she said with her voice holds so much care, “I’ll watch you…”

I didn’t know a girl that I just meet will make me this kind of giddy, comfortable and on the edge at the same time.

Should I know her from the past itself?

“Thank you Wendy-shii…” I didn’t know this whole time I was smiling, my lips stretched into an awfully huge smile, it was ridiculous. Wendy saw me on this kind of face but she keeps on staring at me, with those eyes that keeps on reminding me of something. Something I can’t quite pin point…may it be my heart is still never at ease but at the same time I just want to know her… until she was needed on the stage and bowed at me for one last time.

Before she goes pass me, I felt the wind softly passes by me as a small whisper came to my ear.

“It was nice to meet you again, Yoongi...”

“Okay, gather around.” Hoseok and the other ones are practicing for the last time on the hallways of the building. I was just next to Namjoon going on all over the steps. My breathing was a bit too tight but the members going on being silly for awhile makes me just calm for a bit. Hoseok was holding the phone and goes over our song over and over again as we practiced. Some cameras filming us for the Bangtan Bombs, maybe it doesn’t really occur to me as I was focused on practicing with the guys. In any minute now we’re going to the stage and perform to many people. It was nerve wrecking but it didn’t occur to me that much, I know we can do it, I know we can get through it.

“I’ll watch you…”

The thought of Wendy suddenly came to my mind. I just remembered she did say she’s going to watch. I haven’t saw her on the red carpet though, as we got here first, but hopefully she’ll be there amongst the crowd. We just met for like hours earlier yet I’m this excited to see her, again.

You’re crazy Yoongi.

“Ba- bam bam bam- We need to turn on the lights like this-“

“Oh hyung how about we-“

“BTS on standby, please come to the stage.”

Suddenly a hand came to my shoulder as we are getting ready. I didn’t know who it was until Jungkook came to my view with his childish grin and then gave me a reassuring smile. “Let’s be cool on stage hyung!” Jungkook cheerfully said to me as I gave him a playful laugh. This kid, I really admire him for this.

Before I even go to the line, I looked around. The hallway is crowded but it always reminded me of Wendy and I meeting at the hallway. It’s odd to how I remember the smallest things on such an event like this… how I wish I can just talk to her more, she seems like a nice person to be with….

“Let’s go!” someone from the staff shouted over the huge line that is awaiting us from the stage. If anything the feelings are mixed, my mind is on another level of chaos but I stood there and listened to the instructions. My heart was racing so fast, my eyes are looking around frantically for awhile, cameras surrounds us for the filming of our bangtan bomb. I smiled at them and gave them thumbs up; I play around with them for awhile as we were getting ready for the stage.

I suddenly felt like someone is watching behind me, with the amount of people we have here on the hallway, it’s impossible to even see what’s behind me but knowing a small petite frame with a blue dress came into my sight. Somehow it calmed me, somehow it makes me feel like she really is watching.

I hope I can see her through the crowd…

Because of you, I’m becoming ruined

I wanna stop, I don’t want you anymore

I can’t do it, this

Please don’t give me any excuses

As the stage goes by my sight there goes the beautiful light sticks that paints the crowd. The crowd was cheering, the lights may be blinding but in the middle of it, the members are performing before I sang those words.

It was this feeling that I couldn’t get out of my head. One time you’re in the stage, the next it was gone. The stage wasn’t filled with fans anymore, if anything I was only alone. The member’s voices fading into my ear piece, I tried to perform and look into the crowd again as I saw some fans screaming, fans chanting, fans waiting for us to be on this stage…

But you’re my everything (You’re my)

Everything (You’re my)

Please go away huh

We danced as the music keeps on fading in to my ear, the crowd is there, and the artists are there. But Wendy, she’s there amongst the crowd, always watching with sincerity. I tried to keep my eyes off of her but I just couldn’t. I didn’t make mistakes, if anything, I did my mistake on looking for her. She’s watching, actually enjoying the performance we did and did my heart want to jump out of my chest and just let my heart be at peace for once…

I’m sorry (I hate u)

I love you (I hate u)

Forgive me

People say when you see a person and time suddenly stops again and again for you, it means that you’re going to see them often, or you have seen them on your past life or…

I need you girl

Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone

I need you girl

Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?

“Seungwan, why can’t you just -”

“I tried to… but you coul-“

I wanted to pass out, I wanted to quit but I keep seeing her on my vision enjoying our performance with her blue dress, her eyes that are enjoying us on the stage. I couldn’t help but do better ever since… she really did own up to her words. She did watch me, she look out for me in this state.

I need you girl, you’re beautiful

I need you girl, you’re so cold

I need you girl (I need you girl)

The adrenaline rushed back to me as the crowd’s cheer filled my ears. It was suppose to block out any noise but why do I hear my heart this time? It wasn’t the first time I felt this. It was the second time; could I fear that this will happen again?

Girl, just tell me you wanna break up

Girl, just tell me it wasn’t love

I have no courage to say that

Give me my last gift

So I can’t ever go back to you

“No…”

“I’m sorry. It just seems th-“

“What…why can’t you say it…”

The rush of feelings came back to me as the crowd gets louder and louder to my ears, it isn’t not just because of the chants that I felt this way. It’s the way my heart pounds, it’s the way whenever I move the focus of my eyes is on Wendy’s. The song itself is heartbreaking for me too, I just couldn’t pinpoint what makes me feel like this on stage even. I didn’t feel the pressure back then, why now? Why all of a sudden when a girl promised to watch me….?

I need you girl

Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone

I need you girl

Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?

People say, love is inevitable, love is blind and mostly it’s dangerous. It bump into my mind how I even think of these things while I’m performing, it took me forever and it feels like forever performing like this. Constantly going to peek at Wendy’s eyes and maybe gladly staying in them. I would love to, the familiar feelings in her eyes tell me there is something more about them…

I need you girl, you’re beautiful

I need you girl, you’re so cold

I need you girl (I need you girl)

Who is the girl, who is Wendy? I kept on asking this to myself as Jin finished the last line of the song. The crowds cheer is overwhelming, for me the beating of my heart never ceases. It goes faster along the performance. It might have been because I was nervous, to see her, to see how it goes.

I’ve really gone crazy about the things I didn’t know about.

“Ah success!!!” Hoseok came to view and say hi and greeted the camera. Someone handed me a bottle of water and I took it without looking. Came Jimin and Jin by my side, breathing a sigh of relief, as they took off their shiny jackets. It’s even more crowded than before when camera’s and even press people are here to see us.

“Ah hyung did this step so much, he’s really into it!” I heard Jin praising someone and I keep on biting on the cap of the bottle to even realize he was looking at me. My eyes grew wide as I laugh it off at them.

“Yah, you could have seen the look on Jin’s face. He’s really handsome.” I felt Jin’s palms land on my shoulder and I laugh it off with the guys, when cordi noona is yelling at us to change our clothes because we need to get back on our seat. At this moment I got dressed back to my red carpet look, put the hat on and saw Namjoon behind me.

He has this huge smile on his face and pat me on the shoulder with his huge grin on his face.

“You really did it hyung, we did it.” Namjoon has always been this supportive of us. It’s heartwarming to see it. I gave him a small smile as I fixed my hat and nod proudly at him. “You did say we’re bangtan right? And thanks, we did a good job.”

“Hyung, you were really into it though, it feels like you were in this another place…” Namjoon said before I stopped looking at the mirror and stare at myself. I tried to steady how I breathe but the way Namjoon said those words got me frozen on the spot.

So I was in another place? I never knew.

“Anyways, hyung we need to go. The other artist are performing as well,” I looked over him and want to question him again but as time kept on passing by, I was stuck on the same spot I have, and look, and stare at the mirror for too long. I don’t know why my eyes are suddenly this teary, but I hope my assumptions aren’t right.

I just hope all of this will be the feelings that will stop…

After the performance we came back to our seat and I waved at some of the fans that are waiting for us. It kind of comforts me that I’m here seating far beyond the stage; it was different there to even go-

As I look in front of me I did see that Red Velvet’s seat is right in front of us. They weren’t there when I was on stage, are they performing next?

“I heard Red Velvet is next- Ahhhhh! You’re excited here hyung!” Jimin was bumping Hoseok’s shoulders as the lights dimmed. Every one of my members are maybe a huge fan of Red Velvet. Well, I got to know them through Hoseok’s playlist. I don’t really listen to some girl groups but Hoseok really pulled me in, so I guess you can say I’m a fan.

But I can say I’m more of a fan to the other girl there…

“Ah it’s starting!” Jungkook was beside me and keeps jumping up and down on his seat. I, too was excited somehow. The stage was colorful and there it was: the girls are finally on stage. Hoseok is suddenly dancing and I don’t know. I suddenly laugh so loud and carefree for the first time that night. Seeing them perform makes everyone dance on their feet. It was let’s say…cute.

“Dumb dumb dumb dumb-“ Hoseok and Jimin was jamming along as they bob their head. I was watching intently as Wendy performs, she is so small far away from my seat. It makes me smile a lot. She is so energetic on stage, and her voice is really something that I know of from somewhere but I tried to ignore it as time goes by and enjoy their performance.

“Uwaaa- they look awesome!” Jungkook was clapping like a little kid. I smiled at him and kept my eyes on the blue dressed Wendy. She was there smiling and performing so energetically, almost as if I’m only watching her. It was only me and her, her and me.

Ah Wendy, I never knew you performed like this. It was awesome. You really did great…

At that time I smiled at myself and saw how she enjoys being on stage so much. It was enjoyable and really opens me to a lot of things to know more about her.

“Look at them, oh they did great!” as the performance was finished Jimin was the first to clap for them while I stare at Wendy’s back going back to the backstage of the show. I followed my stare at her as she fades onto the back stage. I never knew I could smile like this all at once tonight.

Your voice is great; I never knew you can sing like that…

I can never say that to her, I’m pretty sure she’s going to ignore me after that. It may seem dumb but I can never try.

After the performance was done, a handful of awards were given. Red Velvet sat in front of us and I was quite a taken back. Wendy was just in front of me, seeing her up close again make things pound on my heart again. Seeing her laugh, amused, clapping for the artist makes me smile so dumb. It so surprising, I never thought I’ll be this attached to a person that I just meet earlier…

She looks over as she was laughing with her members. I tried to keep it cool with my straight face but, seeing her like that struck a chord on me and suddenly brought a small smile on my face. It can be a huge smile, but I would look dumb.

Hey Wendy, My name is actually Yoongi.

Shoot, I sound 6x dumb.

It’s really okay if you can call me that. It’s more okay if you call me like that…

“Best Female Dance Group Award goes to…”

“Red Velvet!”

A series of screams and cheers came to my left as I saw the girls going up on stage to receive their award. I stood up and bow to each one of them, and I saw Wendy glancing at me. She stared at me for ten seconds before I could smile back and bowed as well. They were there with their awards and I clapped nonstop for them, Hoseok was there to hype them up and keeps on standing as we saw the girls and their speech. Wendy was beside the yellow girl, and I couldn’t help but to stare at her. She really is familiar to me, it didn’t stop but for once I felt safe, maybe even comfortable. We only encountered once, but the connection was there somehow….

After that they came back to their seat and I stood up again to bow. I catch Wendy’s eyes. She stared at me for too long before she goes back and talked to her other members. Weird how my heart can’t calm whenever she goes or stares at my way…

“Best Dance Male Group Award goes to…”

“BTS!”

As we gather up the stage, I saw my members clapping and happily walking to the stage, bowing at some artists. At first I thought it’s just an imagination for me to be even receiving an award but it’s here. I glanced at the girls and gave them a small bow before going up the stage. Everyone did a great job today, despite of me, being confused most of the time and uncomfortable at some things. I can say, with her eyes that are staring back at me. This is the best night I have ever been...

I never thought I can say this…

The encore stage before the actual awards show closed and I was stuck between some artists. Too many people crowded at one place as I was dancing a bit and clapping along to the song. Namjoon and Jin were in front of me as I keep on glancing around looking for the girls a bit. Jungkook and Taehyung stayed by my side, and Jimin and Hoseok dances in front of the stage a bit.

Seeing how the stage is so wide, I can already see a peek of Blue dress among the crowd. I smiled and clapped my hands even more delight. I didn’t know if I looked too excited but I need to stay low, people might speculate something. I just don’t want to draw some attention before I go smoothly to the side and saw Wendy standing there, immerse with the music, swaying and closing her eyes.

At this point of time, I saw me and her only at the stage. I was trying to get close to her but that same time she suddenly looks at me slowly and stared at me for the longest time.

She smiled at me just like I knew how she did back then, she waves at me even as I stared at her as well. It was unbelievable at first. I saw this scene, I saw how she smiles at me.. I saw how she waves at me…only then I could only hear a few raindrops, her reaching out her hand at me…. Why am I in a different place again? Could it be?

Did I go again without me knowing?

Without me knowing I’m back again to reality and looked around to see some artists waving goodbye and going backstage. I saw Wendy going through with her members as I tried to catch up with her but Namjoon already held my arms and said something about going to the dressing room.

“Hyung, it’s time to go, are you gonna talk to someone?” Namjoon asked before he lets go of me. I looked disheveled in this state but I tried to act cool and nodded once before I follow him. I glanced at her back and I don’t know why it pains me to see her walking away from my sight….

How I want to know Wendy more…

We got back to the van and on the way to the dorms as I heard the guys talking and jamming inside. I opened the van’s door and saw Jungkook with his phone. The others are talking about something : collabs and other things they saw at the awards.

“Oh I saw Red Velvet walked by, gosh they really are pretty…” I heard Hoseok saying at the backseat. At this I perked my ears and fixed my bags before I glanced at Jimin looking through his phone.

“Yeah, they are. I bowed at them while exiting the hallway. They were so petite though…” Taehyung added before he plopped down next to Hoseok. At this I want to chime in, but I didn’t see the Red Velvet girls walk past by me.. I wanted to though, but the chances aren’t there…

“Yah, they were really nice… I know the other girl’s name..” Jimin said with a cheeky smile while looking through his phone. At this I glanced over them and give Jimin a sly smile. This kid knows how to interact well. “Well I thought they were just scared of you chimmy ah…”

“I’m not!” Jimin hollored at Namjoon who’s at the front seat as I was getting ready to lay down on my seat. Jungkook was getting sleepy as well but can’t even bat his eyes close because of the noise the members are creating.

“I did know her name is Seulgi, she was really nice. They even said they’re a fan of ours!” Jimin laughed and Hoseok tagged along, his eyes are wide and his fanboy cheers are showing.

“Oh really?! You could have asked for a picture- ahhh what a wasted opportunity!” Hoseok was behind me as he fixed something from behind, I looked outside the window and smiled unknowingly….yeah a picture would have been great…

“I was in a hurry and Taehyung was pulling in,” Jimin reasoned before Taehyung woke up a bit from his slumber and whined, “But Sejin hyung is there. I wanted to take a picture too, Hoseok Hyung wants it too-“

“Aye aye kids, I wanted to meet Red Velvet too,” Jin was there beside Taehyung and Hoseok. Jungkook’s head is bobbing up and down, while I look at my phone to maybe block the noise out.

“But I did meet Wendy, she’s nice..” Jin concluded when I was about to put my earphones in and blink at his way. He didn’t know why I did that though but he continued, “She said she’s a fan of ours. I even asked who her bias…is…” Jin’s laugh is so infectious sometimes it makes me wonder why I’m roommates with him…

“Oh my god, Hyung who?” Hoseok chimes in with a sly grin and Jimin’s ears perked up. Namjoon’s eyes were glued to the phone and I was trying to get my attention to my phone.

“Ah, I didn’t hear it though. She said she wants to meet us even more... it was strange… she looks like she’s looking for someone...” That froze me on my seat.

“Maybe she likes Namjoon hyung?” Taehyung tries to reason as Namjoon smiled at them playfully and even joked with them. I put jungkook’s head on the back seat as the kid was trying to just sleep…

The van is a bit chaotic as it is. They were pretty much jamming to the songs that were performed on the awards show earlier. I looked out of the window and saw this scene almost familiar. Me, looking outside the window… seeing cars passing by, wondering who Wendy is… I remembered how it felt when her hands brushes mine, or how she knew my name earlier before I even know hers… it was unforgettable yet familiar.

“Hyung has been thinking a lot these days huh…” Jin was saying this at my back, I looked at him and it seems like he knows something. The other members were asleep while me and Jin just stared at each other…

“You know…?” my heart was doing things again with me as I felt my head aching for a bit. Jin never answered though as I gulped hard and sees him saying I need to go back to sleep.

That’s the problem... I couldn’t get back to sleep…

4:00 am

I arrived at the studio late at night before anyone can see me going out of the dorms. I sneaked in probably late but I need to work on some songs before I sleep. The guys didn’t notice me going out late that much. Although some of them are probably awake at this hour, I couldn’t tell, but I hope they don’t notice me at my studio. It was past midnight already…

I run over some songs that needed some revisions. I had to work on this early cause at some time I will release my first ever mixtape to the public. I don’t have much for the songs and most of them are in draft form but I’m still looking for inspiration, as I need to work on it until I’m satisfied, and until I want to show them what I’m really capable of bringing out there to the public eye. These songs are still not in complete form as I was checking it. I clicked for hours and hours to revise every little single thing. One night Jungkook even helped me with the vocals of the song that I’m unsure of releasing. He was there with me, but had to sleep because he was tired…I always solitude myself alone on this studio but sometimes….it would be nice if someone is already here to look at me, or even watch me… it was an absurd moment for me to think but… it would be nice just to think of it…

“.. Knock Knock?”

Suddenly a blue dress and a small petite girl rush back to my mind. I look so dumb smiling so unknowingly while I revise my songs. It’s almost morning here yet I keep thinking of her since last night. Wendy is such a nice girl, so nice that it looks familiar and I hear it familiar.

After clicking through a lot of things I check my folder for more songs, I think I lost other beats on some files here and there but-

An unknown song?

That’s odd. I never had a song that is titled like that. I suddenly got so curious of what has been on this folder. It’s fishy I never saw this file before and no one ever touches my files except me. I was about to open it and see it for myself. By the looks of it, the date is sketchy, the date was never shown but the only detail it has is the title which is “Unknown”. Curiosity got the best of me as I was about to click but my phone suddenly rings and I heard a notification.

I usually don’t check my phone at this time of the night but with me being here and the members not knowing where I am, might as well check it for reassurance.

It could either be Namjoon or Hoseok in between the messages. I rolled my chair to my table and grabbed my phone and unlocked it. The guys must have been looking for me. it is almost five o’ clock in the morning…

My heart did wonder on my chest as I saw a kakao message pop up. That’s odd, I never really go and see my notifications on my kakao, and maybe it was manager Sejin, maybe one of the guys. Either way they are maybe looking for me, I didn’t know how it happened though as I read the words that are beaming on my phone screen.

“What…” I was confused at the moment. That’s really odd, why would I be in this message? My sleepy eyes then suddenly go wide as I saw the words that are on my sight on the phone. My heart beat fastens so suddenly as I try to decipher the words on my phone. Unknowingly on the corner of my eyes, I saw how the clock moves (five o’clock), the beaming light on the desktop is still on. The small studio that I have falls into a big silence…

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Yoooooo! how are you all! Chapter One is up! we are really sorry for the long wait but it's now here! We are yep, busy, and we'll be having our exams soon but don't worry we will make it up all to you! thank you so much for staying with us! do comment, okay? ilysm beautiful, we would like to hear and appreciate your thoughts ♡ - Ace

Hi guys! Chap one is here oh dear, its been a looooong loong while. we are so, deeply sorry for the longest wait. We are so busy at college and all stuff like that. you know finals are coming around this corner and we just have to submit projects and stuff like that. So forgive us! （πーπ）Hope this one though will make up for it and we may not promise but we are sure that we are gonna finish this story! hold on to us guys cause we are still here to stay! and thank youuuu!! for still being here no matter how long we took to actually update ilysm all so much guys!!! see u around on the next chapter! Subscribe to all the new readers and do comment!! we would love to hear your thoughts!! iysm so much guys!! ♡＾▽＾♡ ✿ - Lex

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