He reached out and took the box on to hand and opened it to see various types of blades,pills and a noose surrounding a journal.

He couldn't help it but just widen his eyes at the depressing content that just made his heart clench harder.

"Hyung....why are you doing this to yourself?....." hongbin muttered under his breath as he was still clueless on what had caused the now hospitalised leader to do and even posses such belongings.

"Hongbin hyung...what are you doing in here?" Hyuk asked as he came into the room,startling the older slightly with his sudden presence.

"I was about to clean up...N hyung's....blood on the floor...and found this box lying next to the puddle."hongbin replies as he exposes the box more for the younger to see the contents.

Similar to his expression,hyuk gasps in shock not believing that N would have things like those to harm himself.

"Is that N hyung's journal or diary?" Hyuk asked the older.

"Huh? What jour- oh.....I didn't notice it just now....Do you think he will mind if we read a bit of it? I mean,we have all seen him writing in it secretly whenever we were busy with...ourselves...."the older states as he realises and has a bit of a hint to what N did to himself.

Hyuk too realises as he heard what hongbin said.

"I think we should read it...i mean maybe we can understand N hyung better afterwards to why he cut himself....."

"Let's show and read it together with the others"hongbin then carefully takes out the journal c