[ Mingyu ]

he wasn't sure how it would feel when you stand there doing nothing but watch your friend deal with his emotions,
it makes you feel like you are a completely useless person, not knowing how to help the person or trying to diffuse the situation.

really mingyu wonders how

how you just stand there, arms folding onto your chest watching everyone's move especially the person who is on the verge of breaking down. 

completely useless ... 

he knows his gentle Hyung doesn't cry or maybe he doesn't want to cry,

he doesn't cry 

It what he notices every time he looks at jisoo, 

he admires the gentle latter,  how he keeps everything to himself to no extend, 
how he keeps his smile, never faltering yet never strong, 
no lies within his smile yet hide the truth.
mingyu never realized that how jisoo can be so strong in front of them, 
but falter behind them. 

he doesn't want that from jisoo anymore, nor want to see it.
mingyu doesn't want jisoo to falter or pretend that he is okay, 
he wants jisoo to get angry, to be mad, to let everything out. 

he's frustrates mingyu to no extend, but mingyu is glad that the older would least show some emotions, 
better frustration than nothing at all

especially with him. 

mingyu is pretty sure that out of the group, jisoo stopped voicing out his problems,
he used to...
when he was with jeonghan 

mingyu was sure jisoo doesn't go out any often like he used to 
he did before...
he would take those midnight strolls with seungcheol,
whenever they need a break from the rowdy group. 

 but of course, jisoo doesn't tell them anything, 
mingyu really wished he speaks up, 

speak up from the neglection he's been feeling every since the two had gotten together

speak up from the time, he had given up for himself to be there for the two, 

speak up about how he had drop whatever he was doing to be there when one of them tells him to be there for them because they were feeling sad, angry and 
whatever they would be feeling for jisoo to be there, only to be left hanging dry, only to be forgotten they were suppose to meet with him. 

mingyu wants jisoo to speak up so bad to the point he would be willing to speak on his behalf. 

he watches, time to time, day to day, weeks to month, how jisoo was slowly loosing himself. how had almost witness jisoo dying, how jisoo wanted to die becuase of the feelings he had felt and wanted it to be gone. 

how it broke mingyu to watch it happen right infront of his eyes. how angry he was feeling, how devastated he was upon the sight of his arrival. 

the state of his hyung, his precious soft hyung
it is why he's so fragile that mingyu wishes to protect him,

to protect from the pain he feels from watching the cause in front of him every single day, 
from every moment of waking up to the single replies of good nights. 

he thinks he can at least keep it up till his Hyung notices what's going on. 
who knew within his group of friends, secrets would eventually start resurfacing one by one, right after another. 


but he's glad that despite the situation, he's his hyung safe zone. his comfort. his space where he can be himself. 

how it went from the two older one to mingyu. 

how mingyu became jisoo's important person. minyu knows how jisoo doesn't say it but he can see how the older treats him. though not exactly as how he used to treat the other two, 
but differently now. 

mingyu wants to laugh at how the situation came to be
who knew something good cause brings out the bad,

it was never his intention to touch seungcheol or to shove jeonghan, 
though deep down, mingyu knows he doesn't regret it. 

he can't blame Vernon for calling help but sometimes, he wants the youngster to out since it was their fault
this situation happened in the first place
....

but he thinks back to Joshua, 
he knows sooner or later things will blow up, and he knows it won't be pretty. 
for both sides and his hyungs sake, he hopes everything will work out fine.

but until then ...
 mingyu isn't so sure how long jisoo can keep his emotions bottled up.

but he knows that when that happens, he will be there for his hyung. 
to catch him before he falls 
 

Mingyu is leaning on the wall, waiting for his turn to shower. Across from him is jihoon who sat on the couch facing him, his head tilted up towards the ceiling, in a very deep thought. chan is in the shower and jisoo is in his room with seungkwan who couldn't sleep without jisoo cuddling him, which earned him a pout from Vernon, but of course, he doesn't bother speaking, knowing how much seungkwan had missed cuddling with jisoo to sleep. 

" how long do you think this is going to continue ?"  mingyu looks at jihoon who seems to be staring back at him with an unreadable expression. his eyesbrows were furrowed up. 

"What's going to continue ?" he asks in reply. already knowing the answer but just doesn't want to answer right away. he wasn't in the mood to talk about it the situation, especially after his fallout with seungcheol just recently throughout the day. 

jihoon sighs and leans back, looking towards the ceiling again, watching the light fan go round and round and round in silence. Mingyu silently slumps down to the floor, watching jihoon's chest as it slowly moves up and down following the rhythm of his breathing. the situation at some point, today, seem to have gotten out of hand. mingyu is partially at fault, but partially 

Apparenlty to seungcheol and jeonghan, jisoo hanging out with mingyu was something the older two had not been expected. seungcheol had to confront mingyu what reason for jisoo to spend so much time with him to the point where he had no time to spent time with them. mingyu recalled how he couldnt believe what he was hearing. jisoo not spending time with them becasue of him. he almost curse seungcheol. but he told seungcheol how it was them who barely spend time with jisoo now that they had gotten together. 

seungcheol had the nerve to say how jisoo should understand now that jeonghan and him were together. but the way he said it, pissed mingyu off. as if he was expected jisoo to there somewhere on the side waiting for the moment the two would finally spent time with him. 

from there, mingyu couldnt recall what else seungcheol had said because from that moment, he had see red and then the fight happened. 

" Have you ever thought of confessing ? "  a question spoke through the silence of the quiet living room. jihoon looks away from the spinning fan on the ceiling and mingyu looks away from jihoon as they both look towards where and who ask the question. they see jun coming towards the hallway, he had come from his room, shirt drench from the wetness dripping of his hair. He walks to where jioon was at and took  a seat next to jihoon on the couch, with his towel around his neck. 

" confess ? " mingyu asked the same time jihoon spoke up, " have you ?"  jun gives it a thought, leaning back and bring his legs up, knees reaching his chest. he taps his fingers on the couch, 

he shakes his head, " nope " 

" why not ? " mingyu asks looking at him now. jun gives him a smile, " with everything going on right now, I think I'm going to just pass and wait it out till everything is back to the way it was " 

jihoon tsk his tongue, making mingyu and jun turn and face toward, 

" you sure it's safe to let jisoo sleep with seungkwan tonight ?" 

" hyung is getting suspicious lately with what's going on,"  mingyu tells them, earning a nodd from the both of them. 

" Can you blame him though, I mean after witnessing the aftermath of what happened with mingyu and seungcheol and how those idiot seems to be ignoring him. he has to be suspicious" jun stated, slightly irritated by how childish seungcheol could be. even jeonghan. and they were older. 

"for now just make sure he is not within their sight. i dont want them to start blaming jisoo for what had happen, especially after mingyu punched jeonghan." 

"will they blame him though ?" mingyu had ask, he knows that the bond with the three of them, it was something. soemthing that mingyu had once envied but stopped after coming to a moment of realization that its a bond that had happen to be there for a really really lond time. 
 

jun looks to mingyu and finally looking at him. he sees a younger brother who is tired. tired the situation happening around him.  he feels guilty at how he cant seems to own up his place as the fourth oldest. 

" mingyu," 

" its just - , im so pissed right hyung, im not even sure you realize at how angry i am with cheol hyung and hannie hyung. im so mad at how they think everyone orbits around them. like we had our own lifes and just because you argue with your lover doesnt mean the person you want to talk to would alway be there. like how selfish can he be. he's already with hannie and he expects jisoo hyung to be there with a snap ? how selfish can hannie hyung be, not speaking up with how they are acting. one moment they be like oh i have to meet up with jisoo then the next, oh i forgot to message jisoo to cancel, what the is wrong with them - " 

" min -"

" mingyu ?" 

jihoon sees how wide mingyu becomes, how he was going to call out to mingyu to calm him down from raising his voice so he wont attract attention, but it seems even he didnt realize how immerse he was in listening to the youngers rant, the tone full of desperation and anger, 

all that snap him out with the voice calling out to mingyu, the owner of the voice. soft, gently calling out to mingyu in question. the voice that had gotten jun and mingyu standing. especially mingyu. 

the owner of the voice, 

Jisoo