How could that stage be so slippery? 

        I almost fell multiple times  but managed to keep myself balanced. It was, however, a bad day to Yuju. She slipped over five times on that cruel stage and she did cry while performing. Sowon cried too but very few knew about that. 

        The habit of observing Yuju perform had been formed in Sowon's mind due to Yuju's slow absorption of choreography and investing too much energy in her performance, which can lead to incidents, just like the so-called make-Gfriend-famous falling accident. Absurd as she may seem, Sowon, in fact, is the kind of person who is very careful and attentive to Gfriend's members as well as her image. As you see from the clip of our performance that night, she cleverly avoided all the slippery area and kept her eyes on the other five. Unnie looked so tensed during Me Gustas Tu. Her anxiety was written all over her face and evident in all her movements. I knew she must have gone through the roof, seeing her useless in helping her member. That was also the first night I witnessed Sowon spark with outrage at herself backstage. That night was another long night for Sowon unnie.

        After exchanging some tips to take care of Yuju and SinB with Umji, Sowon turned the lights off and left our room. 

         "Sleep well little kids. We are having a fan meeting tomorrow. SinB, turn off the phone now, you need to rest. Remember to give it back to our staff tomorrow."

        "I got it, unnie"- SinB shoved the phone under a pillow then took it out again when Sowon had left.

         "Eunha unnie!", SinB called me, "Our performance has been uploaded. We looked like we're in pain"

        "You and Yuju unnie are literally in pain", Umji corrected her maknae friend.

        "But Sowon unnie seemed to be the one in the most pain", SinB gave the phone to me and Umji.

        She's right. Sowon did not care to give a smile she often had had in previous performances. Even when she's injured, she still keeps a bright smile on her face but in this fancam, she was just busy checking around the stage and us. Some parts of the choreography were forgotten and unnie looked nerve-wrecked to the extent that I thought she would storm off the stage anytime. From the way she stood right up and grabbed Yuju hand without caring much about her whereabouts, which was not very like her, it's obvious that we occupied a large part in her heart. I wondered what she was doing. 

        "Where are you going Eunha unnie?", asked Umji- as I was walking towards the room door. 

        "I'm thirsty. You guys sleep first."- I quietly closed the door in order not to disturb Yuju. To my surprise, Sowon was in her room. A feeling of disappointment ran over me and just before I intended to come back to my room, I heard some voices from Sowon and Yerin's room.

        "It's not your fault, unnie." Yerin voice came first, "Don't take all the blame. The weather and that stage were unpredictable."

        "From Yuju's habit, I should have warned her about that beforehand",  Sowon sighed.

        "That kid is enthusiastic like that. It's her trait ..."- Yerin tried to explain, "...yeah, bad habit too but bad habits die hard, you know. By the way, I need something to quench my thrist. Unnie, you want anything?"

        "I'm good", said Sowon.

        Suddenly the door opened, Yerin unnie came up and saw me.

        "Eunha, what are you doing here?", Yerin was taken aback to see me at the entrance.

        "Aw, I have something to ask Sowon unnie"

        Yerin smiled and left the door wide open for me. I stepped into the room, closed the door quietly and saw Sowon sitting quietly at one end of the bed. She looked up and smiled at me. 

        "Why haven't you slept yet?"- She swept her eyes and pulled me down to sit next to her.

        I stared at her attentively and found her eyes were wet. "Unnie, did you cry?"

        She smiled brightly, probably trying to find a reason to explain but ended up keeping shut. In the end, she couldn't tell lies. An awkward atmosphere began to fill the air and Sowon suddenly pinched my cheeks real hard.

        "Since when did you start to care about unnie, Eunha?"

        "It hurts, unnie!!"

        A grin appeared on her face when her hands left my cheeks. I pouted, looking up at the ceiling. I really had no idea. I thought I cared about her like other members.

        "What do you mean? I always care. I always care about you."  Did I leave some parts out?

        "... and other members".  Thanks God. It was just in time.

     Smiling proudly, Sowon patted my head.

        "You've grown up a little since our debut."

        "Just a little?", I pretended to have a deep sigh with a slump on my shoulder.

        Sowon laughed loudly and looked at me determinedly. "That's enough. Unnie will take care of the rest, Eunha.", she then brushed a loose hair strand on my forehead, "Do you believe in unnie?"

       ....

       What's this?

        My heart...

        It was racing... very fast. 

        That question was not what I expected. I started to believe staying up late really affected not only my height but also my brain. Was that the question lovers in movies often asked each other when they vowed to lay their fates in each other's hands? 

        Sowon unnie was still looking at me to find the answer. Her eyes looked so sincere that I could spend the whole night only looking into them but I was scared. I wanted to run all of a sudden. She's a giant compared to me. She's my big unnie. She's my leader; but how come her scent dominated my breath, her eyes controlled my heart whenever there were just two of us?

        I stared back at her, finding the most appropriate answer in this situation.

        "Everyone of us believes in you, Sowon unnie. Eunha, you should have been in your bed by this time", Yerin unnie came back to the room and looked at us.
        "Yerin unnie is right. We all believe in you, Sowon unnie"

        A forced smile was formed on my face as I was trying to hide my embarrassment. What's wrong with me? Yerin unnie had just given such an easy answer but why did it take me ages to come up with it? What kind of answer was I looking for?

        Without my notice, Sowon Unnie outstretched her long arms to hug Yerin unnie and me, then, scatter kisses on our heads.
        "Thank you, kiddos! I love you guys."
        "We love you too", Yerin unnie and I uttered in chorus.
        "Don't tell other kids about this, okay?"- inquired Sowon.
        "Sure, we won't. You have our word", Yerin yawned and let go off the embrace.

        "It's 1 a.m already. Shouldn't we go to sleep now?"

        Yerin yawned again and climbed up to her bed in a blink of eye. 

        "Good night!"

        That was the last two words before she officially came into her own dream world. 

        "It's late Eunha. Don't you intend to sleep?"

        Realizing I was in Sowon's room for so long, I stood straight up and almost got hit by the bar of the bunk bed if it hadn't been for Sowon's large hand. That dummy had a gift of taking care of anyone but herself. Her hand hit the bar when she was trying to cover my head.

        "Are you okay?" - I grabbed her hand right at the moment I saw her frown. Having inspected it thoroughly, I exhaled a relief. As I looked up, I realized Sowon had been watching me intently. Those uncalled feelings were flooding back, accumulating inside my stomach just like every night I secretly stayed up late with her. What do you call these fluttering feelings?

        "I'm fine, Eunbi.", a smile curved on her face as she slowly withdrew her hand from my grasp. No sooner had upset come over me than I realized she released my grasp just to grip my small fingers in her big hand.

        "Let unnie our dear princess to her castle."

        She was holding my fingers. My face reddened second by second with every step we took to my room and so many unnamed feelings were troubling me that I kept my head bowed while looking at our holding hands. Her hands were really big compared to mine and I liked it that way.

        "Sleep tight, Eunha!"
        "Good night, unnie", I nodded my head. 

        The door closed before my eyes but I didn't move an inch. Instead, I just stood there for a while, wishing she would hold my hands like that forever. And then I smiled. 
       Like a fool.