characters: Jonghyun, Kibum, Taemin

"Jeez Jonghyun, why don't you be a man and ask him out, you eye fxxcking him during the school time is enough, but this is too much. You're so gross, I saw where you were staring back then when we were practicing."

Urrghhh is there any way that kibum can sound more annoying than this? No way. That's how I think each time he starts nagging me about my crush. Isn't it perfectly normal to be liiiitle bit of creepy whenever you spot your crush? No, right? I mean I'm not even that much of a creep. I'm not a creep at all. I only stare after making sure that he doesn't see me. That explains why Taemin is totally oblivious to the fact that I'm in love with him. 

Love? Kibum always says that this is not Love, this is some kind of an attraction which you can either abolish or develop as you like it. But little he knows.Yes, he's my cousin and my best friend with whom I grew up,but still, this time, you are so wrong kibumah. You are so so wrong. 

Even though Kibum's constant nagging annoys the hell out of me, as always I remain silent. He is annoying, but still he is my best friend who is always on the fire of periods. Like seriously, it won't take much time for me to make him cry (and I dare not to). He's such a baby.

"Yahh~"

"Are you ignoring me , Kim Jonghyun?"

"Uhh. .no, I was just. . .thinking"

"Thinking? You were zoned out all the time I was talking? Did i just wasted my precious time to make some sense in to the lousy one's mind and-"

"Nuh nuh nuh - I was listening to you all very well and I was thinking . . . maybe I should do something about my feelings"

" Are you. . . Are you gonna ask him out?" 

There was some kind of hestitation in his voice but of course it's The Typical Kibum. 

He is so serious whenever it comes to his best friend / cousin's life. Whenever I am about to make a decision, say which colour to wear ,blue or black, or which parent should I choose after the divorce, mom or dad, Kibum gets all serious as if my life depends on his suggestions, as if my future depends on the phone call with him. He is a 50 year old soul living inside the of a 17 year old. 

"Ummm... I might? Should I ?"

There comes the long silence from the other end, but if you hear intentively, you can hear him breathing. 

Breath in. . .breath out. . 
Breath in. . .breath out. .

His pace is racing. His cousin / best friend's love life must be such an important thing for him pace his breathing.
And ohh. . . 

This time there comes a long sigh .

 Kibum might have developed a new habit of sighing during his sessions of serious thinking. 

I could imagine, almost as real, him scrunching his nose, his feline eyes glued somewhere ,"concentrated" as he names it. Back then when we were kids he taught me that you should always fix eyes on one thing that is not disturbing whenever you think. He mostly stares at empty spots on single coloured walls. (all his walls were filled with stickers and stuff) When I told him that it's weird he started explaining it to me using neuroscience. Kibum the kid was actually a 27 year old doctoral candidate living inside a 8 year old. I don't know even if it's real with the neuroscience thing, but still it works. Staring at walls works. 

"Jonghyun"

His solid and firm voice summons me back to the present, back to the phone call. 

"Y-yes?"

"Are you sure that you're interested in Taemin?"

How many times should I say out loud that I am in love? huh? will you ever believe me? 

"Yes Kibum, Of course."

"Alright then, I think you should ask him out. S-soon."

 . . . 

I am at the nearest florists'. Kibum arranged the whole thing. He knows the florist and he made a call earlier to make one red rose ready for me. and he called out Taemin to a cafe near the florists'. All the two places are familiar to me thanks to Kibum. 

Kibum has a special thing for flowers. He loves gardening. And apart from that he has a huuuge thing for yellow chrysanthemums and I couldn't blame him for that. 

He got sick quite often when he was a kid. I still remember that last day I got him a bouquet of chrysanthemums. We were 9 back then. Since we were kids we had this weird habit of giving the other a kiss (on a cheek of course) whether it's during parting, or before going to sleep when we have a stay over or when one of us is sick and the other is visiting. I think it's our moms who taught us that habit. They might have initiated it like "Jonghyun, come on , give your little cousin a goodbye kiss" when we were babies. 

I still remember the day as if it was yesterday. As any other day I went to Kibum's place with mom as soon as we got the call that he has been discharged. 
He was on bed staring at the wall, quite paler than the usual, thinner than the usual. 
He turned his head as he heard my mom's greeting. 
When my mom was done with all the questioning and all the hugging and all the "get well soon and be careful"s she left us alone.