despite their quick meeting backstage on the show, momo hasn’t had any time to properly reconnect with chungha again. she wants to blame it on their schedules (they’ve been so busy with promotions and constant shows and fanmeets, and chungha’s been gearing up for her own sub-unit comeback) but she knows it’s mainly due to her own resistance to meeting up with the girl. she knows she wants to see chungha, wants to see if it’s possible to get back to a point they were at years back. but she knows they can’t, that she can’t. momo believes that it won’t be a mutual thing like it was before they parted ways. because now, momo is the one still living in the past, still stuck on the ‘could have been’, while chungha seems completely fine and as if what happened then was nothing but a dream, something that doesn’t need to be brought up. and it kind of kills momo to not be able to talk about it.

she knows the other girls know what happened. she saw the looks mina gave her once she found her backstage, momo avoiding eye contact and all conversation about what took her so long. and she knows that mina had told sana about it, knows that sana was able to piece two and two together because sana is anything but dumb, too intuitive for her own good, and knows that all the attempts sana has made to get her alone had one distinct purpose.

(she pretends to be busy every time sana tries to pull her aside: there’s conveniently always a need to practice, maybe chaeyoung needs someone to walk with her to the store by their dorm, or maybe nayeon needs another person to watch the latest drama episode with her.

so it becomes a habit to not be alone with sana too long, ignores the talks jihyo gives in her best leader and mother-hen voice about ‘avoiding her best friend for no reason’ and keeps steadfast in her selfish need to just not talk about it.

she’ll make it up to her when she gets it all settled.)

it’s three weeks after sana’s final attempt at confrontation when momo is visited by somi, finally visiting their dorm when there is a lull in their duel promotional cycles. she’s all done up, as if she literally just walked off the stage, and momo would feel drab in her raccoon onesie (she still laughs when she thinks about the earnest smile on tzuyu’s face when the younger girl gifted her it on her birthday) and bedhead, but doesn’t because she’s sick and home alone because everyone else is practicing and it’s just somi, so there’s no need to care.

somi makes herself at home: she goes into dahyun, chaeyoung, and tzuyu’s room to find a pair of comfortable clothes to change into, scrubs her face clean of all her stage makeup, grabs herself a snack and a water from the fridge without question, then falls onto the couch beside a yawning momo with a grin, looking as if she belongs there. there was a time when momo did believe somi belonged there, surprised at the fact that she was brought back into the group last minute and somi wasn’t brought in at all. somi had all the makings to be a great member to the group, but as jyp and somi herself had said at the time: she wasn’t truly ready. and momo respects the younger girl for being so mature about the fact that she didn’t make it (she supposes now though, that just like them, somi has made it with ioi – and she’s happy for the girl.)

it’s when they’re sharing a bag of chips between them while watching some random movie that had begun playing that momo finally questions how somi ended up here on her own. sure, they’re under the same company and somi is basically the groups younger sister, but she knows that she can’t just deviate from the ioi dorm, right after a performance no less, and without the other girls. when she asks somi as much, she’s surprised when the younger girl says that she isn’t alone, that one of the older members came with her, but they stayed out in the car as to not inconvenience the girl.

at that, momo is surprised. because she may be shy around people and it may make things little awkward at first, but she’d never want someone to just sit out while they were so relaxed. she laughs quietly, because she can’t believe somi didn’t actually say anything earlier, then pushes the girl from the couch, telling her to go get whoever it is and invite them in, no matter how much they insist that it’s fine. somi grumbles and whines (unnie, it’s such a long walk back down there!) but goes anyway without much more pushing, and momo goes to grab more snacks for the three of them to share.

when she hears the door opening and somi complaining loudly (or fake complaining loudly, no doubt to annoy momo for the fact that she got sent down in the first place), momo’s just now bringing their snack back into the living room. she expects to see the ioi leader, nayoung, a face she remembers from the few times she’s come by the jyp building with managers to pick up somi for a schedule (she had presented herself to all of twice with a deep bow and a smile that seemed too nervous for the people she was greeting), but is surprised when somi steps around the corner with chungha in tow, the cans of soda in momo’s hands falling to the carpeted floor as their eyes meet.

well, she can clearly see why the girl didn’t want to be an inconvenience.

it’s only after momo has picked up the cans, haphazardly laying them across the table, and then saying something about getting chungha some comfortable clothes to wear, that she’s finally able to full process what’s happening when she walks into her shared room with jeongyeon. she’s lazily going through her wardrobe, looking through all the sweats she owns, repeatedly berating herself for not realizing that of course it would be chungha in tow. sure, it’s usually a leaders job to be with their youngest if they’re doing something on their own, but momo does know that nayoung holds a leadership role over a group of girls at her own company (something somi had mentioned in passing when all of ioi came to the company to practice for their last comeback with jyp and momo could hear nonstop screaming coming from nayoung’s phone whenever she answered a call), so she can’t follow somi around all the time. so of course it would be chungha, the one person who is actually comfortable in a jyp sanctioned building. the one person who has been around momo and the girls before and wouldn’t feel awkward being in their presence.

she knocks herself in the forehead for not putting it together sooner.

momo assumes she’s taking too long, because there’s a knock on the opened bedroom door, then, “hey, if you can’t find anything, it’s okay. i can just hang out in these.”

she turns to look at chungha, smile on her face and not at all put out by the idea of her having to stay in her stage clothes while the other girls get to be comfortable – she can hear somi out in the living room, laughing loudly and commenting in english at whatever’s happening on the tv now, but all she can truly focus on is the girl in front of her – and shakes her head. she quickly pulls something from the closet and hands it over to chungha, belatedly realizing that it’s an outfit she wears around the dorm all the time when she wants to feel the most comfotable, and that selfish part of her mind flares up again, wants to see chungha only in her clothes, especially the clothes she wears the most, and she motions for her to go get changed quickly.

instead, chungha just stands there and watches her. it’s like she’s reading her, trying to figure out what’s swirling in momo’s mind (you, you, you, momo’s mind chants, it’s you) and debating whether to bring up the obvious topic momo has been steadfast in avoiding since they first saw each other again. it seems chungha has no reservations, because she moves to sit on the bed, clothes laid across her lap, and pats the spot beside her, only speaking up once momo has finally worked up the courage to come sit beside her.

she takes momo’s hand, holding it between her own in a grip so soft and gentle momo could pull away if she wanted (but she can’t, she won’t), and knocks their shoulders together gently. “you never came and found me after the shoot. you avoided me when we came to jyp to learn the dance for veryveryvery. you’ve dodged my calls. you even basically ran away just now when somi brought me in.” her words aren’t accusatory, no bitterness lacing her tone or anger toward momo for her actions. they’re more-so just statements, facts, things she has noticed and taken account of, something she wants an answer to but isn’t pushing for one. “what’s going on, momo?”

momo wants to scream, tell her 'it’s you! i can’t do this with you, not after you left. i want to be close to you but i need to stay far away. i can’t fall into this again, but i’ve gone in headfirst already'. but she doesn’t, she just sits there, staring at her feet while chungha stares at her. she knows the girl isn’t pushing for answers, would never, but she always knows that chungha still wants an answer. and sure, maybe chungha was the one who left without a word and came back without consequences, but momo allowed both – she let chungha go and let her come back just as easily. she pretended that it didn’t matter, avoided the fact that chungha was most definitely going to be a fixture in her life again no matter how much she tried to pretend otherwise.

chungha sighs, clearly knowing she won’t be given any answers, and lets go of momo’s hands, standing with the clothes and mumbling a thank you with a small smile. before she can get a full step away, momo grabs her by the wrist, her eyes still on the floor and teeth digging into her lower lip. she wants to tell her everything, to let her heart burst wide open and spill all its contents for her, but she can’t. that’s too much for her right now, too much to go into and she needs time. she says as much, that she just needs a little more time, eyes wide and hopeful as she finally looks at chungha, and the girl nods and smiles, granting momo that much. so momo nods too, lets go and stands, lets her change in private as she goes back out to the living room, ignores somi’s questions about what took so long with a playful eyeroll, and leaves an open spot on the couch beside herself for chungha to fall into once she changes (which she does, a hand falling onto momo’s as she gets comfortable).

it’s about three hours later when the girls finally arrive home from practice, each holding a bag of snacks and treats from the convenience store by their dorm. it’s who sana enters first, an extra bag in hand with snacks and cold medicine specifically for momo in her other hand, when she stops just shy of fully entering the living room, the other girls stopping behind her and peeking around to see what’s holding her up.

they notice somi first, body basically thrown across the far end of the couch, mouth open wide and hair strewn across her face, one hand still stuck in a bag of chips that lay on the floor beside her (chaeyoung snickers and snaps a picture, says something about blackmail for later). then they notice momo, head falling against her chest at an awkward angle they’re sure she’ll be complaining about when she wakes up, arms wrapped around a peaceful looking chungha (sana notices the familiar design on the shirt chungha wears, files that information for later).

jihyo takes the initiative, walks around the couch and gently shakes momo and chungha awake, has to shake somi more forcefully, then clears when they’re all staring at her, bleary-eyed and disorientated. momo looks at all the girls, blinking lazily and then stiffening when she catches sana’s eyes, realizing the situation she’s found herself in. she slowly moves her arms from around chungha, though the girl only snuggles closer, still too tired to care about the display, and then looks back at everyone else.

she knows there’s no way out of it this time. and from the looks they all give her (bar chaeyoung, dahyun and tzuyu who are too busy laughing at the drool dried to the side of somi’s face, but especially sana) she also knows she’s been found out on what she’s been trying to avoid.

momo realizes then that, even though she told chungha she needed more time, she just ran out of it.