when momo first hears about her months after she’s claimed she’s forgotten and over it and done, it’s when they see an article online telling them that somi’s going to be on another trainee debut show. she doesn’t think much of it at the time, because there’s chatter from the other girls about how brave somi is for doing this again after sixteen tried to break all of their spirits, so at first she doesn’t exactly register all the names of the other trainees that are mentioned to be going as well. it’s not until chaeyoung’s pulled out her phone to facetime somi and the girl’s are all speaking over each other to give her advice or telling her to call if it gets too hard again, that sana nudges her in the side to draw her attention, scrolling through the list of names again before showing the article to momo.

outwardly, momo shows no reaction. there’s no surprised gasp or furrowed brows. there’s no shortness of breath and no immediate need to run out of the practice room and be by herself. she just nods, glances at the name again to make sure, then nods once more before looking at sana, who seems to be expecting some big blow up but looking even more concerned over the fact that there’s not one, because she knows what this means.

it means kim chungha is going to be on her radar again.

it’s just two weeks later when momo finds herself squashed on their couch between an overly excited chaeyoung who’s sending a flurry of texts to somi, telling her that they’re all tuning in, and a freshly awoken jeongyeon who’s rubbing at her eyes and whining about why they couldn’t just watch this later after she’s gotten a little more sleep (and momo sympathizes with her because they’ve been working nonstop lately and jeongyeon has been sleeping less and less out of stress – but still, it’s important for them all to support one of their own anyway). she’s shushed as the show starts and suddenly it becomes all too real.

they see a ton of girls before them. some, she recognizes from the talks backstage, their seniors quietly conversing about how well they think the trainees of their companies will do on the show. a few, she knows faintly because they’ve either debuted before or are known as star trainees. others, she hasn’t the slightest clue about, but they’re good. the singing, the dancing, the rapping, the charisma, it’s everything momo’s learned, from both her tragic experience on sixteen to the sudden debut life, that an idol needs, and she can see that some of these girls have it in spades.

when somi walks onto the stage, there’s excited screams and smiles and words of awe at how much she’s grown from the last time they’ve properly seen her. when they were all living together and then on the show, somi may not have been the youngest nor did she act like it, but there was a certain need for her to be doted on because they were there for the younger girl amidst any and everything that happened. but now, she’s all alone, the only from her company, the only one to represent what being a JYP artist meant to the public. and momo is so proud of her for that. she cheers and claps and whoops when somi’s placed high, doesn’t care that the other trainees attribute it to popularity because she know’s somi deserves the praise because she works just as hard as everyone else.

they sit through a few more performances before jeongyeon’s nodding off again with her head slumped back against the couch and chaeyoung’s got her phone out once more, practically bombarding somi with congratulations from them all. they know the show’s winding down and they really have no need right now to continue watching until the live shows and voting start, so jihyo suggests they just pack it in and go to sleep because they have a schedule in a few hours time. they’re all leaving, tzuyu and jihyo supporting jeongyeon’s frame as they help her out of the living room, nayeon heading to the kitchen for a drink while chaeyoung and dahyun decide they’re going to facetime somi instead, wanting to know everything that was really going on while she filmed.

it’s only after they’ve all gone that momo realizes she’s still left with mina and sana, one sitting on either side of her, both not saying anything while they all just watch the screen. because now, it’s not somi that momo’s watching for and they know it. because sana and mina were there after chungha quit the company. they were the one's who broke it to momo after the girl had already packed her bags and left, too sad and ashamed about giving up to say any proper goodbye's. they were the one's who told momo to stop calling, because they knew chungha wouldn't pick up (they don't say it's because they've all tried calling her too, because it wasn't only momo she had to leave behind - it was all of them). and it was them who told momo that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to move on from the loss, because now they had an opportunity to go on a show and possibly debut and she couldn't let the memory drag her down during. so they know she’s watching for the face that’s currently on the screen, for the voice that she remembers hearing from vocal rooms in the past, for the body that she’s seen countless times in the practice room mirror as they go through hour after hour of dance routines, for the smile that’s bloomed across her face because she was handed that “A” title because she earned it.

she’s watching for chungha, they know. and they know she won't be able to move on again.