”long time, no see.”

momo falters in her moves, right foot messily slipping across the floor when it should have glided with ease – it’s a move she’s damn near perfected by now after weeks and weeks of practicing non-stop, but a single voice throws her off within a millisecond. how more cliché could she possibly be?

she doesn’t respond, nor does she outright acknowledge the other person now standing in the room with her. usually, momo would turn and bow, be polite and accommodating and smile because that’s who she is as a person, but she can’t do that, not with her, not now. she can’t turn and face chungha, not after she just talked herself out of losing sleep over the girl again when she found out they’d be performing on the same show.

(its been weeks since she last truly stopped and thought of the girl, too lost in her own mind regarding the idea of taking part in another survival program after the last time. she’s built herself back up some since sixteen, has been able to slowly work her confidence back to a good level, a level she thinks is good enough to show on tv once more. but it crashes the moment she realizes who will be there, who will be watching.

it’s not some stranger in the crowd, someone who could be watching momo dance for the first time ever. but it’s chungha, a girl she’s trained with, a girl whose watched her try every move in her arsenal and then some. a girl who has seen momo at her then self-proclaimed best. a girl who, now, will see her when she’s just now picking herself back up again.

it all seems like some cruel joke.)

a tense, silent air hangs around them now, the music she’d been dancing to having ended long ago, neither saying anything since chungha’s initial comment. momo supposes that’s her fault, because she’s too stubborn to actually say anything, to actually it up and face her once again. she could chalk it up to nerves, find chungha later on and apologize, tell her how she didn’t talk because she was just too worried about the performance later on. and she knows that chungha would laugh and say it’s okay, that she’d tell momo it’s alright to be nervous, especially with what they’re doing. that she wouldn’t take it to heart because that’s just who chungha is and momo wants to scream at the fact that she still knows chungha after so long.

there’s a sudden touch on her arm and before momo can think better of it or talk herself out of it, she’s instinctively turning toward the touch. chungha doesn’t say anything, instead she just gently squeezes momo’s arm and nods, as if she understands everything swirling inside momo’s mind. because as much as momo wants to scold herself for still knowing chungha, she can’t deny that the girl knew her just as much, too. and maybe she does still know momo, because all she does is smile and offer her arm out for her to take, and then she just waits. there’s no pushing, no exasperation in her posture, not even a hint of annoyance on her face at the obvious way momo tried to avoid her not even two minutes ago. because she knows momo and knows that momo needs time, even now.

momo swallows, suddenly dry from the nerves of being so close after being so far apart for so long. she stares at chungha’s offered arm, her own still limp at her side, the spot the girl had touched moments ago almost throbbing hotly, as if yelling this is real, this is happening over and over again. it’s almost too much too fast and momo wasn’t prepared, wasn’t able to stabilize herself before she was sent zooming toward this point. but she’s here already, chungha before her, and life’s cruel joke gets a little crueler, saying to hell with her being prepared.

she musters up whatever courage she has hiding in her body, her mind nearly going blank as she curls her arm around chungha’s. and it’s like a blast from the past – the memories of them walking to the convenience store by the company, laughing and dancing across the sidewalk, not a care in the world because they were with each other. the late nights in the practice room, sweaty and laid out on the floor shoulder to shoulder in the practice room, breathless musings about how their lives could change when they debut. the whispers between them at four a.m., when momo would first build up the nerve to reach out and hold chungha’s hand, then kiss her quick and soft and awkward in the dark, only to have the breath knocked from her lungs when chungha would kiss her back before saying good night and going back to her own room.

it’s all so much but momo can’t run from it now, even if she tried, even if she wanted to. she’s stuck again, completely and without a want to get away.

chungha seems to appreciate the fact that momo has finally let that last wall down, because she practically blinds momo with the smile she gives, nearly dragging her from the room and into the bustling hallway once there’s a call for the first shooting of the show, then, “i really missed you, momo.”

and something in momo nearly breaks. because while part of her wants to sneer, call chungha out and tell her she wouldn’t have to miss her if she didn’t leave her, the bigger part of her just wants to bask in this moment. because chungha did miss her. it might not be the white hot way momo missed her, but chungha held onto momo in some way and the thought alone has momo tightening her hold ever so slightly against chungha’s arm as if anchoring herself to the moment.

there’s a final call for them all to get to the stage and suddenly chungha’s manager is behind her, insisting that she needs to go, yet momo wants to be selfish for once, wants to hold her there and never let go. but she knows mina is side stage already, waiting for momo after giving her time to calm her nerves, unaware of the chungha sized hole she’d known flung herself into again. so she can’t stay, no matter how much she wants to keep them both there, so she reluctantly lets go of chungha’s arm, giving a polite nod to her manager and a smile to chungha herself before she’s turning and walking away.

momo can hear the smile in chungha’s voice when she yells i want to catch up after! don’t make me come looking for you! after her and momo knows she’s ed then, because really, as if she’d make chungha look for her. she knows she’ll find chungha in a heartbeat, just a little too keen on being in her sights again. and she can’t stop it.

this is definitely life’s cruelest joke.