¡ZZZZZZ!

Thump.

The youngest King of the land dropped the arm that had been aiming with the bow, using his other hand to gently massage his tired shoulder.

"I’m rusty" he complained, frowning at the arrow that embedded itself firmly into the practice trunk, close to the bull’s eye, but not on it.

"You’re good" prince Kim congratulated from his post to the side, sitting, as always, beneath the cool shadow of a leafy tree.

"I could be better" the short one complained, accepting the glass of water that a maid was offering.

"I understand you feel pressured to prove you can defend yourself" the invalid tried to sympathize "but you already have done so, your ingenuity can disarm even an expert archer".

"It worked once, decoys won’t save me every time, and I don’t want any more subjects taking an arrow for me as though they are disposable" he argued, walking over to the tree to dislodge his ammunition for a new round of training, causing the prince to sigh even as he smiled proudly at the stubborn resolve of his king.

He’d been itching to prove his strength in combat, because even after his ploy to lure the traitor into action had worked as planned, Jongin refused to let go of his safety, claiming that there are more hidden threats to the throne than there are visible ones. The man wasn’t being unreasonable, and Kyungsoo had no basis to argue, but he wanted to. Being watched 24/7 by not one, but 2 guards, on top of the entourage of servants made him feel some days paranoid, like he was in constant danger; and on some other days he felt hopeless, like he couldn’t take care of himself.

But one thing was constant: He never felt safe.

He was ruling a land he wasn’t supposed to rule, with policies that clash their principles and a beloved legacy that was to die because of him.

The servants around him had grown to love him, but the advisors, elders and emissaries in the political sphere that surrounded them had every reason to resent him.

He had to be ready for the enemies that were to come…

"But I shouldn’t have to prepare for the enemies, I shouldn’t have enemies at all" he spoke without meaning for his companions to hear.

"Sometimes it is not up to us, some people just serve their own interest, and we just stand in their way, regardless of what we do, or how pleasant we try to be" Joonmyeon answered anyway, grabbing his attention. The king stared at him "I admire your idealistic pacifism, Kyungsoo, but world peace is out of your reach, and it would be suicidal to even try"

"I’m not so much of a dreamer, Joonmyeon" he replied with a huff, feigning offense "But I should at least have the peace of my own land in my hands" he spoke resolutely, and a wave of admiration the prince like the first time he’d met him. And the hope of a land, of a palace united, something that he’d sincerely believed to be already a reality until the incident… under Kyungsoo’s care, it felt not like a faraway dream, but an inevitability.

...

"Hongbin mentioned you took up archery again" King Jongin commented off-handedly, sitting comfortably on a chair laid on the grass for him, sun bathing alongside his spouse in one of those rare free afternoon's watching once more as the princess runs around merrily.

"Hongbin talks to you?" the other asked, a bit surprised, truly, because the two didn't exactly get off on the right foot.

"He... reports" the older clarified after the shortest pause, not finding any other verb that could describe the monotonous and bored looking way in which the guard describes to him the occurrences of Kyungsoo's day, only after he has explicitly asked for details. When he doesn't, he only gets the standard 'No mishaps, your majesty' and a look that silently asks 'Can I go now?'. The young guard couldn't be any less happy with that particular duty of his, knowing just how much the constant surveillance bothers his king.

"Not voluntarily, I suspect" Kyungsoo hints with a slight frown.

"I only ask because I care about you" the other answers the question that nobody asked, sensing the young one's discomfort at the prospect of his surveillance.

"When you could just come to me directly and say "Hey Kyungsoo, how was your day?", you just have my guards give you a report?" he accused with mounting anger, or was it disappointment? ... was it the telltale burn of heartache? "It's like you don't even want to talk to me. If that doesn't say "I don't actually care" then I don't know what does" he accused.

"That's not it, it's just that I don't always have the time. Times like this, when we can relax together and have casual conversation, they are rare, why are you trying to ruin it?" he asks, regretting his words the second they left his mouth, seeing the glare the other was giving him.

"Maybe if you split duty with me like you said you would, you would have more free time".

"Kyung, I am all on board with you reigning alongside me, but I already explained that the council and ministries must be purged before that. I can't put you in front of people that I'm constantly afraid might be plotting your demise" he defends, not for the first time.

"And how much longer is that going to take? Jongin I know I agreed to this but you have me sitting around doing nothing, and four people watching me every second while I do so. It's suffocating. I feel useless and not only am I not being a king to this nation, I can't be a queen to you either because you never have time for me! I'm burning out, Jongin, I'm stressed like you wouldn't believe, trapped like a little mouse. And this is the one thing you promised you wouldn't put me through, I do not want to be useless".

"Kyungsoo, you don't get it" he began, wincing at his own wording "We don't know who is on whose side right now, and openly investigating will put them on edge, they might retaliate, upset the whole system, there's a lot to deal with, along with everything else" he explained with as much patience as he could muster "You're not the only one going through stressful times right now"

"I can help you handle it" he offered, softening at the sight of the slumped form of the usually proud straight-backed king. He really did look as tired as him from it all.

"You're the reason there's anything to handle in the first place!" the other snapped, unable to hold the outburst at hearing the other's insistence when he should just understand that he has valid reason to act as he does. It is merely for his benefit. Little princess Yeoreum heard his loud voice from afar and looked worried towards them, seeing her daddy breathing quickly and uncle Kyung seemed every second closer to the verge of tears.

"You... you regret this" it wasn't a question, but an indignant accusation spoken through a knot of tears inside the shorter's throat. Yeoreum's nanny saw that sad whisper as her cue to whisk the girl away from the tense discussion.

"I didn't say that" the taller defends.

"But you do" he insisted "You should have known marrying me would bring you consequences" he points out, memories of his own fears regarding the union resurfacing with haste. 

"I was ready for the general disapproval, what I wasn't prepared for was a murder attempt!" the king snapped again, on the brink of spilling tears of his own at the reminder of what was at stake "Kyungsoo, your life's on the line here, let me protect you!" He begs.

"I can protect myself!" the younger replied just as explosively.

"I'm your husband! I'm supposed to care for you, let me do what I must!" Jongin yelled back.

"Must? What? So I'm just a burden to you?" Kyungsoo asked, a sudden wave of insecurity muting the loudness of what were previously yells into a pathetic whisper.

"I love you! You don't know what the death of you would do to me, Kyungsoo, it would destroy me" He confessed, only half aware of the words that were coming out of his mouth, heart overruling brain. And it was his heart that soared with hope at the widened eyes and reddening cheeks of his husband, at the small confused gasp that escaped those plump lips "So please, just wait and let me fix this. I can't lose you too" he pleaded one last time, intent on convincing the other king to see it his way, to let him keep him safe.

"Too?" Kyungsoo asked after the surprise widening his eyes to their maximum became judgmental slits, and the pink on the apple of his cheeks turned into a furrow on his forehead, and the hopeful smile died and gave way to gritting teeth "Ah, so that's what it is. You don't love me, you're projecting the sorrow you feel for Jung onto me. You don't actually care, you just don't want to feel like the incapable king who keeps losing spouses" he accused with venom.

"What?" the other asked, not believing the turn that his confession had taken inside the other's mind "No, no no, that's not it".

"Save it" he interrupted "Jongin, I'm not her. I'm not your wife, not for you to protect". 

"Husband or wife, is all the same" he began, halting the other as he tried to leave "We care about the people we love. You want to be a king, an equal to me and you are, but that won't stop me from trying to protect you" he insisted, saddened by the frowned that remained in the other's face.

"Stop saying you love me! I'm not her reincarnation" he replied, barely containing a broken sob "If you want to protect me, if you really care... don't say those words to me when you don't mean them".