The morning after his marriage was officiated, what woke up the new king rather than the preferred warmth of the sun coming in through the window after a quiet maid pulls the drapes, the smell of morning tea or – in his wildest dreams – the loving whispers of his husband tickling the back of his neck, instead of all of those it was a soft knock on his door that became louder as the person on the other side grew impatient.

The door wasn’t locked, the knocking was merely for respect, so he simply let the person know they could come in, not bothering to dress himself or move an inch from his comfy cocoon, expecting a maid.

It was a maid indeed, but not just any. The older woman from the previous night, head of maids, walked in, told him he was expected at the breakfast table and left but Kyungsoo had enough time to notice the maliciousness in her smile.

He’d bet his crown that the woman had come to wake him up late so that he’d be unpunctual at the table, angering the king.
Washing up in a rush and wearing the first thing he could grab out of the closet, Kyungsoo rushed to breakfast. There was nobody there other than the cook’s assistants cleaning up. The king fumed.

He his heel but almost crashed against his guard in turn. Leo is always so quiet that he often forgets the man is always there, unlike Hongbin who always talks to him when they're both alone, which isn’t all that often because Kyungsoo tries to always be busy with something in an effort to make himself useful.

Kyungsoo has been taught to always be nice to the staff and he is, but the pride of a king burns inside him regardless and what was just done to him is something a king wouldn’t forgive. He isn’t one to send heads rolling, but measures have to be taken in situations such as this.

King Jongin appears surprised when his spouse storms angrily into his study.

“Kyungsoo?” he asks, unsure.

“Did you call for me this morning?” the smaller asks, trying to appear calm.

“I did, I guess you weren’t in the mood” he comments with a tinge of disappointment in his tone.

“On the contrary, I rushed to the table only to find it empty” he corrected, sarcasm sipping into his tone.

“What?” the taller one asks, confused.

“Whoever you sent to retrieve me, never did so, I was only just now woken up” he explains. The other looks confused still for a moment before a frown forms on his forehead.

“Lady Oh? But why would she?” he questions mostly to himself.

“That’s her name?” the smaller asks for confirmation “Leo!” he calls a bit louder for the man outside the door to hear “find her for me” he orders and waits for the footsteps to go faint.

“What do you plan to do?” his husband questions.

“Is not her first offense and as subtle it may be, it shows her dislike of me. I don’t expect to be loved by everyone, but if she’s keen on upsetting me, who knows what else she’d be willing to do. Next thing I know she’ll be starting rumors or sending the wrong message back and forth. Little things that can do much harm” he rants angrily “I hope I have your permission to fire her” he questions, not really expecting a negative. He may not feel as empowered here as he was in his own kingdom, but he trusts his husband to let him do at least this much to avoid future issues.

“You don’t need it” the other answers quickly, insistent in his reassurance “But wait…” he calls before the other can even think of leaving, realizing that maybe, maybe… “Did she not tell you that I was expecting you in my room after the reception?”

“You were?” the shorter asks in surprise. Jongin wanted… to sleep with him?

“Of course!” he replies, getting angry very quickly, but not at the one in front of him “I thought you had rejected me!”

“I didn’t even know” Kyungsoo answers in a small breath, both shocked and confused by the open confession.

“Of course you didn’t, that wench” he exploded. He had spent the entire night wondering what he’d done wrong to drive Kyungsoo away, hitting his chest to stop his heart from beating so painfully. Why was he so hurt? Not his pride but his… feelings?

“You called for me, King Kim?” the elderly woman spoke from the door as she arrived, purposely referring to him as though “the king calls for you” could only possibly refer to him and not Kyungsoo.

“Yes, we did” Kyungsoo answered with a glare, signaling Jongin not to speak in rage “Lady Oh, I’ll be short about this because I really loathe drama. You’ve upset us both, you’re fired; grab your things and make yourself scarce. I’m sure Leo won’t mind escorting you” he spoke calmly, shocking the woman who looked as though she wanted to protest “What? Did you really think you could mess with me and I’d do nothing? Is that the weak and useless queen you think I am, one that can be walked over?” he asked rhetorically, surprising her and Jongin as well, he’d never heard that much venom drip from the shorter’s tone “Well I’m afraid your own prejudices have misled you. I’m your King, never forget that, now leave” he spoke with finality yet the woman, in her shock, didn’t move an inch. With a tilt of his head he told Leo to please remove her and he did so gently out of politeness, but the anger could be seen in the strength put into his free hand.

“Well… That was sensual” Jongin’s voice sounded behind him after the other two had left, quietly as though only meant for his own ears, but Kyungsoo heard it clear enough.

“Huh?” he exclaimed, caught out of guard by the odd statement.

“I’d never seen you this serious. I mean, you are always serious but never this… severe? Maybe intense is the word I’m looking for” he confessed “and I found it very alluring”.

“Don’t joke like that, Jongin” he chastised.

“What part of that sentence did you confuse for a joke?” he asks rhetorically.

“Jongin, I'm male” he said tonelessly.

“So?” the other asked with an amused smile. To tell the truth he had hoped to build more trust between them before dropping such a truth on him, but the words had flown his lips before he could close them, the sight of Kyungsoo establishing his authority was enticing to say the least, a side he’d never seen before.

“Men don’t "allure" you” the other spoke as if matter of fact, causing the taller to chuckle.

“I don’t recall ever telling you such a lie” King Jongin said with such seriousness that it couldn’t possibly be a joke, even after his spouse remained silent for a long minute following his affirmation, the tan male wouldn’t even crack a smile and say he was merely joking. He was not.

“Excuse me if I don’t believe you” the shorter of the two ends up saying in an effort to hide his obvious shock and disbelief.

“I don’t blame you, I have never mentioned it before” he says as if it was nothing mayor. 

“Mentioned what?” the younger one asks for clarification.

“The fact that I, too, prefer male partners” he confesses simply, further surprising his spouse.

“You? A married man?” the shorter asked.

“Well, I am married to a man” the other answered amusedly, cracking a joke that failed to ease any of the tension in Kyungsoo’s shoulders as he pondered the implications.

“You know what I mean! You even have a daughter!” he exclaimed.

“I’m a man committed to his duty, what can I say?” he replied with a smile, entertained by the other’s denial.

“Don’t refer to my sister as ‘duty’” he complained, offended yet unsure why. It had never been a secret that Soojung’s marriage with Jongin had been arranged politically, there was no love there and everyone knew that; it was duty indeed, and that had never bothered him before. Why now?

The indignation didn’t feel foreign, as though it were in behalf of his sister’s memory, no, it felt close and personal, like he was the one being insulted even when there were no insults thrown at all.

Because if Soojung had been nothing but duty, then... What was he?

“I loved her dearly, as a friend, but the heir we produced, no, the act of conceiving said heir, was nothing but what the kingdom required of me” he explained, trying to use the kindest words as to not offend the memory of the late Queen.

“Is that why you married me? To give Yeoreum the choice that you weren’t given? Do you feel as though you’re free by giving her freedom?” Kyungsoo asked before he could stop himself, well aware that he was in no place to question Jongin’s motives when his own had been plainly political in the beginning.

He had asked for Yeoreum’s hand in marriage because he had to, because his mother loved his brother so much more than she did him. He was a sacrificial lamb, and so would have been the little princess had Jongin not taken her place.

Jongin didn’t marry him out of duty, he did so out of love, love for his daughter not him; he had made himself the martyr in her place, this was his sacrifice.
Kyungsoo hates that thought.

“Just forget it” he says, turning his back to the other but a hand on his shoulder stopped him before he could leave.

“Don’t go drawing conclusions by yourself when I haven’t even answered you” Jongin spoke, becoming upset at the other’s dismissal.

“Your silence told me what I needed to hear, something I already knew” he replied, turning to glare at the taller male “It is unreasonable of me to expect anything from you when all this is, is a marriage of convenience. But can you blame me?” he admits, voice a mix of anger and defeat “The love my mother had for me died with the birth of my brother if there was ever any; my father couldn’t care less, my sister is dead, your servants loathe me, you see me as nothing but a means to an end and I’ve always known that and I shouldn’t complain and nobody but me is at fault, for being the kind of son no parents would want, but here you go saying you’re just like me! Why are you loved where I am hated? Why am I never enough!?” he ranted, panting for air at the end for running his sentences, frustrated with himself for letting his weaknesses show but he was hurt, and he knew Jongin wasn’t at fault but had no one else to vent on. He had always been open about his uality, people assumed he was proud of it and unbothered by the occasional sneer, but the truth is he had always been conscious of it, that his entire personality was flawed in his mother’s eyes, that who he was, all of him, was trash to her.

He had been treated and educated like a crown prince because he was the only choice but had always known he would never be the preferred one. He appeared strong and confident, but the queen’s indifference had left a scar, a scar that often made him doubt his capabilities as a ruler, believing that a man like him would never amount to anything.

“That is where you are wrong” the soft voice of the king brings him back to reality, out of his self-hating bubble “We married for duty, yes, but never say that you aren’t loved” he says, making the shorter snort disrespectfully, disbelieving “Yeoreum loves you, and don’t you dare say she does not count” he adds before the other king can comment “your guards love you as well” he says, head turning to look over his shoulder and into the softening eyes of Hongbin who had come to replace Leo; noticing where his gaze was focused, Kyungsoo turned to look, finding a blinding smile as the man nodded  “And so do I”.

Kyungsoo turned his attention back to him with eyes wide open and a gasping breath. He knew he hadn’t meant it like that but was powerless to stop his heart from beating frantically at the confession, an involuntary smile forming on his lips.

Never let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself”.